Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano Havana-Seed
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Dominican (Proprietary)
Size: 5.625 x 54 “Shark – Box Pressed”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $15.00 MSRP

Today we take a look at the Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark (Toast Across America 2014).
A reader sent me this two pack and would prefer to remain anonymous. Thank you, sir.

BACKGROUND:
From Cigar Aficionado web site:
“For 12 years, Fuente’s Cigar Family Charitable Foundation has been making the Toast Across America cigars, and smoke shops in all the United States and Canada have helped raised over $3 million towards helping impoverished communities in the Dominican Republic.

“Every year since 2003 Arturo Fuente has teamed up with J.C. Newman in order to release an extremely rare two-cigar set with 100% of the proceeds going to Cigar Families Charitable Donation, a group that gives aid to the communities in the cigar regions of the Dominican Republic. 2014’s Toast Across America set contains two amazing cigars not available outside this set both in the famed “shark” size of 5.6 x 54.

“A size normally only seen in the Arturo Fuente Anejo, the Fuente Fuente Opus X No. 77 has been dubbed the “Sand Shark” due to the beautiful light wrapper that surrounds all the amazing aged Dominican filler tobacco. The J.C. Newman component to the hard-to-find sampler is an astounding torpedo version of their celebrated Diamond Crown Julius Caesar. Each cigar is worthy of the price tag alone, but as a set this is a no-brainer for any fan of rare cigars.”

Fuente Fuente OpusX No. 77 Shark (5.6″ x 54) $35.00
Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark (5.6″ x 54) $15.00

You can buy the 2014 series at Anthony’s Cigar Emporium either in two pack coffins or individually. Lots of online stores carry the line, so start Googling.

DESCRIPTION:
Beautiful cigar. The shark presentation is a stunner. Although, it is as solid as a rock. No give when depressed. So the draw was near impossible. I used my cigar awl but was only able to insert it around 2” before I heard crackling noises and quickly unscrewed the awl.
The foot has a crisp square box press. The cap is a work of art. No idea how many caps were used. See photo below:

The wrapper is a hickory/mocha color with extreme amounts of oiliness. It is as smooth as silk.

The double cigar band starts with the traditional DC Julius Ceaser band. Classy with a portrait of Julius Newman. My grandfather’s best friend for many, many years. Julius visited our house in Long Beach every time my grandpa visited from Cleveland. Both were Hungarians. Both Jewish. And both lived in Cleveland. My gramps owned a real rootin’ tootin’ saloon. (I have a great black and white photo of it somewhere). And gramps smoked cigars like someone was going to take them away from him which is probably how my grandfather met Julius.

The secondary band says: “Cigar Family Charitable Foundation” with the logo in gold on a navy blue background.
Veins are near invisible and few veins.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell sweet honey and caramel, molasses, raisins, cinnamon, spice, cedar, and chocolate.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell barnyard, dark baking cocoa, spice, honey, cedar, espresso, and raisins.
The cold draw presents flavors of dark chocolate, spice, cedar, raisins, honey, floral notes, and malts.

FIRST THIRD:
Box pressed cigars give me loads of grief lighting them and not getting a run immediately. For me, the trick is to light the outside perimeter and allow the flame to move towards the center instead of lighting the center and allowing the flame to move outwards.

The critical time is the first 5 minutes. It is vital I keep an eye on the foot so as not to allow it to run.
OK. My paranoia is out of the way. Here we go.
In spite of the cigar being so solid, it smokes like a dream.

The first flavors up to the line of scrimmage: Chocolate, creaminess, red pepper, espresso, citrus, malts, cedar, and something I can’t identify quite yet.

While I reviewed the Robusto (4.75 x 52), size matters. And I expect a different experience with this incredible shape.

The Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark runs on me as expected. I don’t know if it’s me or the shape of the cigar that causes a run every time I light a box pressed cigar up.
It is early so I attend to it and let it rest in the ashtray to cool off and stop the run.

The start was spectacular. Very heavy in the chocolate, malt, creaminess department.

Cherries. As in the dessert: Cherries Jubilee. A dessert long forgotten except in the restaurants you can’t afford. It was a big deal as a kid to see the waiter prepare them at your table side with the dash of liquor into the pan causing flames to rise a couple feet into the air. And then dished out to cover your cup of vanilla ice cream. Damn. I can taste it now.

Mixed nuts are new. As well as the creaminess having a whipped cream tangent.
The Shark shape has absolutely revised the flavor of the blend.

The Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark is scrumptious. The nice thing I found is that if you don’t want to spend $35 on the OpusX partner, you can just buy the DCJC cigar for $15.00 at Anthony’s Cigar Emporium. I don’t know why other online stores don’t do that. I’m sure that the proceeds still go to charity regardless of whether you buy the pair in the coffin or separately.

The retail for the regular sized Julius Ceaser is $11.00-$18.00. So paying only $15.00 for the Shark seems like a deal. Did you notice I used the phrase, “only $15.00?” Shame on me.

There is a plug nearly halfway down the cigar. Time for the cigar awl. I manage to clear it but here crackling noises. Nicht gut.
But now the air passage is free and clear and flavors explode on me. I use a tushy wipey to get them off of me.

The strength is medium/full with 1” burned. The Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark is already extremely complex. A perfect balance and a wonderfully, long finish.
The char line is now razor sharp.

I thought this might be a good time to address something. I’ve always gotten lots of emails from my dear readers. Started out small but then accelerated to where I get an average of at least 30-50 emails per day. I answer just about everyone I can. I don’t answer the ones that ask me to list things. If someone is too lazy to do some sort of list, it ain’t my responsibility. But, 99.9% are wonderful letters. And I do manage to reply to all of them. It may take me a day, but I do get to them. Around 75% of the emails are from my regulars. My readers that have become my friends. And the other 25% are readers I’m hearing from for the first time.

I’m not asking you to stop…just know I’m doing the best I can. I love hearing from all of you and try not to get behind in my replies.

There is a strong fruity flavor now. Canned peaches, cherries…wait..it’s canned fruit cocktail. That’s a first.
The citrus is now tangerine citrus. Ever buy those perfect little tangerines called “Halo?”
Even my German wife who hates anything that ain’t meat and potatoes loves them. That’s the citrus I taste in the Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark.

There is another plug near the foot. Out comes the awl, and sure as shit, I crack the wrapper near the cap. Sonovabitch!
But, of course, now it smokes like a dream. I’m going to have a talk with my cousins Drew, Bobby, and Eric Newman about this. LOL.

I was just contacted by Bespoke Cigars. An outfit that used to be Cuban but is now making cigars using Central American tobacco. And blended by Hendrik Kelner. They are ensconced in Estonia and most sales are in Europe. There is one distributor in the States. Chicago. These cigars ain’t cheap. But they have a terrific reputation. It appears that they have cigars with blends made up of both Cuban and Central American tobacco.
They are sending me out 3 different samples on Monday. Will they be ready by the 10th? Or will I have to come back to review them. No idea.
Check out their web site. The cigars are gorgeous looking. And quite a variety.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 40 minutes.
Yep. Slow cigar.

The flavors: Creaminess, citrus, fruit, floral notes, sweetness, chocolate, malts, cherries, spice, espresso, cedar, and raisins.
The malts: Chocolate Rye Malt, Coffee Malt, Special B Malt, and Wheat Malt. (See Malt Chart).

The plug keeps self-healing thyself. Another short try with the awl and clear as a bell.
Flavors open like a beautiful flower. The complexity is ridiculous. So good.

Find the shekels and buy one. Go to Serious Cigars. I don’t have a relationship with them so no promo code. But the price is right for the single. Some pirate online stores are charging $75.00 for the 2014 Toast Across America. While most charge the original fee of $50.00.

Halfway point.
Smoke time is one hour 10 minutes.

I wish you could taste the Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark right this moment. I loved the original Diamond Crown Julius Caeser and gave it a rating of 93.

The Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark will be higher.

The shape and size of this stick makes a huge difference to the flavors. While retaining all of the original flavors, this blend is more intense and bold. Yet full of subtle characteristics that defy explanation or definition. This cigar is a masterful stroke of blending and rolling.
My only criticism is that it the cigar had a couple plugs in it that required drilling for oil to clear those obstructions.

Each time I clear the cigar, flavors explode. I wouldn’t say this is a flavor bomb because it is so mature and sophisticated that flavors meld into each other creating a giant ball of threads that bind everything together beautifully.

I’ve only had the Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark for 2-3 weeks. The box was sealed and the cigars were in cellos. But they were released in 2014 which allowed some nice aging within the confines of the coffin.

I bet with a couple months of humidor time, the Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark will make you cry for mommy.
Speaking of which, only 10 days to go after this review. And off into the sunset I ride.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 40 minutes.
The cigar fooled me. I knew it would be a long smoke but not this long.

The main cigar band is removed and the crack caused by my cigar awl is in plain view. I manage to glue some of it and it should be fine.

Holy shit. Damn. Sonovabitch. This is some cigar blend. I believe it is supposed to be the same blend as the original but the intensity and complexity is vastly different from the Robusto I reviewed back in early December.

As much as I do not like 2-1/2 hour smokes, this cigar makes me want more.

The Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark is packed too tightly. I’m still having on and off draw issues.
I’m sure this was a glitch in the rolling department so I will give J.C. Newman the benefit of the doubt and not punish them due to the over filled cigars.

The chocolate and the malts and the creaminess take over the lead. The red pepper returns with a vengeance and my tongue burns.
Strength is very full bodied.

The blend is one of the most well rounded blends I’ve smoked in a while. All due to the perfect complexity. The finish is a mile long.

I am positive that the Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark is better than the Arturo Fuente OpusX Shark companion cigar. I’ve smoked several OpusX blends sent to me by readers. Most were over aged. But a couple weren’t. While excellent cigars, they don’t match the flavors, complexity, balance, and finish of the Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark.

I would love to have a box of these.
The lovely and kind Newman boys sent me some original JC’s in the robusto size about two months ago. I haven’t smoked a single one yet. I think it is on the agenda for later today.

The crack seems to be holding. The draw is spot on.
This may be the first cigar I’ve reviewed worth the $15 price tag.

And certainly, just as good as some of the very expensive cigars I’ve reviewed. I loved the $25.00 Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural and rated it 95.
The Diamond Crown Julius Caeser Shark is a better cigar and $10 less.
Check out Anthony’s Cigar Emporium.

Final smoke time is two hours 10 minutes.

RATING: 96

And now for something completely different:

Butch Patrick is a very personable and charismatic dude. When he is sober, that is.

I’ve read that he has been on the wagon for a year or two. I am happy for him. Alcohol was killing him. His problems back when we did the “Whatever Happened to Eddie” project was more about alcohol than drugs. He started drinking as soon as he woke up. Starting with beer and moving on to straight liquor as the day progressed.

Unfortunately, back in the early 80’s during my project, his behavior nearly killed me. He was a handful.

The record company and PR agency demanded I babysit him at all times when we did promotional tours. Normally, they just send the artist out alone. But Butch couldn’t be trusted to keep appointments. Half the time, he didn’t even know where he was when he woke up.

We did a big Chicago morning show. Same time that ex-Monkees, Peter Tork, had a new band. It was made up of very young heavy metal guys. Very strange. All leather and spiked hairdos and lots of chrome.
We sat in the green room with Tork, and his band, and all he did was piss and moan about the Monkees.
It got to be disgustingly obnoxious after a while.

That night, we did the same big club promotion. Peter’s band played. And guess what? 8 out of their 10 songs were all Monkees songs. Made me laugh. Especially since he really didn’t have much of a voice. And then there were his band mates all dressed in black leather and wearing spiked dog collars.

Tork and I traded T shirts. I had the Eddie Munster shirts and he had…guess what? T shirts that had the Monkees’ logo on it. Still have the shirt but I couldn’t fit into it without cutting myself in half.

Should have gotten him to sign it so I could sell it on eBay for $10.

That night, Butch and Peter spent a lot of time together. They both were knocking down shots of tequila like mad men. And Peter kept giving Butch coke to keep him from passing out.

They had a lot in common. Butch was only paid $400 per episode on The Munsters. Back then, a season was 25 shows. And the Munsters were only on for two seasons. Plus, this was before residuals were in play. So Butch doesn’t make a single nickel on all those replays of the series. He made a total of $20,000 for 50 shows.

On the other hand, Fred Gwynne was smart and demanded a cut of the show. So he was the only one to get residuals. It was a couple years after The Munsters ended that residuals were mandatory. So Butch did a bunch of 70’s shows and got residuals of $65-$75. When the checks came in the mail, they went to his mother’s house and she would cash them. He changed the address so they came to me because he trusted me. I would open the letters and see these terribly low checks for doing Mannix or The Brady Bunch.

Where was I? The club with Peter Tork.
Al I could think was oh no. Not again. I would have to pry him loose from the club at a decent hour because we had more promotion to do in the morning.

As was usually the case, I left without him. He had a hotel key. I insisted we share a room. For emergencies, of course. I had literally become his parent.
More than once, I had to bring him out of a drunken stupor to get him up and out the door to do the promotion on radio or TV.

One day, as the project was falling apart, Butch came to my house in Long Beach around noon.
He was living with his mother in Gardena.

I was having leftover spaghetti for lunch. And the screen door knocked and in walked Butch. Drunk as a skunk with a beer bottle in his hand.
He started throwing stupid ideas my way on how we could get the project back on track.

I asked him politely to allow me to finish my lunch and then I would gladly talk about it.
But no. He wouldn’t let up. The whole project was tearing me apart.

I kept asking, and then yelling, for him to shut up.

Finally, I couldn’t take it. I threw my plate of spaghetti against the wall where it stuck like glue.
He stopped talking and just stared at me and then the spaghetti on the wall.

And then back to his ideas again.
I got up and pushed him out of my house.

The dumb fuck had driven himself to my house drunk. So I pulled him back inside and locked him in my bathroom. Then I barricaded the bathroom door with the coffee table.

I sat back and watched some TV while Butch screamed.

After 30 minutes, I let him out. I made him drink several cups of coffee and sent him on his way. By that point, I didn’t care if he got caught by the cops. Best thing for him I thought.
More later….

Wrapper: Nicaraguan Habano Colorado Rosado
Binder: Nicaraguan (Double binders)
Filler: Nicaraguan (Jalapa, Esteli and Condega)
Size: 6 x 52 “Toro”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $8.00 ($6.75 most online stores)

Today we take a look at the Alec Bradley Nica Puro Rosado.
An anonymous reader sent me a few of these cigars.

I could not find a single cigar review. Not one. This is not a good sign but as I don’t have enough cigars to review every day until February 10, well..fingers crossed this is a good cigar.
This cigar seems to be price controlled. No matter what online store you pick, they all sell them for the sub-MSRP prices.
The cigar was rated 91 by Cigar Aficionado.
Made its debut at the 2015 IPCPR trade show.

DESCRIPTION:
Nice looking stick but not exceptional. Seams are tight. Lots of small veins.
The wrapper has that Colorado Rosado tint on a medium brown wrapper. Very smooth to the touch.
The stick is solid but has a little give when squeezed.
It only looks to have a double cap.
The double cigar bands are big and ornate.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Churchill: 7 x 50 $8.00 MSRP
Torpedo: 6.25 x 54 $7.50 MSRP
Gordo: 6.25 x 60 $8.50 MSRP
Toro: 6 x 52 $8.00 MSRP
Robusto: 5 x 50 $7.00 MSRP
Bajito: 4.25 x 52 $6.75 MSRP

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell lots of subtle notes such as spice, sweetness, chocolate, caramel, barnyard, dried fruit, cedar, and cream.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell dark cocoa, strong eye watering spiciness, sweetness, espresso, cedar, and barnyard.
The cold draw presents flavors of black pepper, chocolate, coffee, cream, Asian spices, sweetness, cedar, and citrus. With a touch of floral.

FIRST THIRD:
Toasting the foot makes a mess of it. No.9 rollers were definitely not used.
Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9.

I will have to keep a close eye on the burn line so it doesn’t get away from me.
First flavors: Malts, Big Daddy spiciness, creaminess, chocolate, coffee, honey, caramel, citrus, nuts, floral notes, cedar, dried fruit, and a lovely generic sweetness.
I’m impressed. That’s quite a bit from sort of a skanky looking cigar.

But then I smoked one after I’d had it for 3 weeks and it did nothing for me. Clearly, Old School kicked in and it took over 2 months for it to hit the blender’s intent.

Considering how well made some Alec Bradley cigars are, the Alec Bradley Nica Puro Rosado seems like the red headed step child to the original Nica Puro. It is too light in the hands. It just doesn’t have that quality look to it. Almost like a cheap bundle cigar.
It’s redemption? The flavor profile.

I use that old Hopalong Cassidy folding knife a lot in my photos. The American flag cigar roach clip as well. I got that knife in 1970 at the once a month Rose Bowl Antique Fair in Pasadena, CA. I got so many cool things there. All gone now to pay for medical care. I’ve sold every single valuable thing we own including some very dear things to our heart. It’s all gone now. All I have left is my ESP Ltd fretless bass. I can’t play it so I don’t know why I keep it around. It sits about two feet away from leaning up against the little Fender practice amp in the dining room. Makes me feel good, I guess.

The malts are quite stimulating along with the chocolate, creaminess, nuttiness, and black pepper.
It is a lip smackin’ treat for the palate. But will it continue on this journey and become complex? No idea. Why is that we Jews always turn sentences into questions? How should I know? What? Am I the cigar expert? Is it my fault I have a tiny shlong?

A minor correction was needed early on and now the burn line seems to be on the right track.

Johnny Piette of Isabela Cigar Co. sent me some samples to review. Four different ones. I tried a couple and they won’t be ready for a month. Too green still. So I will come back late February to review them. Allah willing. (Oh no. That raised a red flag with every law enforcement organization in the country. They will be breaking down my door, one night at 3am, and hauling Charlotte and I off to Gitmo for 20 years.)

Despite how light the cigar feels, it smokes very slowly.

Ken Pope contacted me back on Jan. 23 and let me in on a deal Famous Smoke is having. At the time, I had no dough. But Charlotte got paid her meager minimum wage pay check on Friday and I snagged a 6 pack sampler of Paul Stulac cigars for $23.99. I just now looked carefully and the description says the cigars “Vary.” So maybe you don’t get what’s in the photo like the couple of White Blinding Light. Regardless, the sale is still on and if I were you, I’d get in on it. Most PS cigars run between $8-$12 per stick. There is shipping of course: $5.99, but still a good deal. The wife gave me permission to buy a sampler.

Strength is a touch above medium body.
Minor transitions are occurring.
It ain’t so complex anymore.
Flavors are nice but no oomph. There is no drive to succeed. No ambition. Like your father told you when you were 16. And you were hanging out and smoking weed with your pals. I actually didn’t try marijuana til I was 17. But I got the hang of it.

My pain management doctor is dead set against using pot to help with pain. Drat. Plus it isn’t legal in red neck Wisconsin. A state that bleeds Red.

If I were doing nothing more than something mindless and smoking the Alec Bradley Nica Puro Rosado, I’d be enjoying it but not paying too much attention to it.
The climb towards bliss will be a long one if even accomplished at all.
The cap comes off. WTF? I wasn’t even chewing on the cigar and it’s been sitting in the ashtray. This is not quality.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 35 minutes.
Flavors perk up at this point. The thing is…all Nicaraguan puros have pretty much the same flavor profile: Creaminess, chocolate, coffee, caramel, citrus, dried fruit, sweetness, malts, and cedar. Now and again, one might discover something interesting but while those are more than acceptable flavors, you can find that grouping in a gazillion different brands and blends. Nothing stands out about the Alec Bradley Nica Puro Rosado.

And to reinforce this list of flavors, the Rosado wrapper typically is spicy with notes of cedar, coffee, earth, and pepper. Falls right in line with Nic puro flavors.

Strength is medium/full.
A fruity element appears. Don’t know what it is yet. But it helps the flavor profile. Some kind of summer fruit. Almost a combo of peach, apricot and plum. I call it Papricom.

It is kind of strange. My cigars came from Atlantic Cigars. I just looked and the CI Conglomerate doesn’t carry the cigar. Just the original Nica Puro. Therefore, no sticks on Cbid.

The price of $6.75 is accurate. Nice cigar. Just don’t expect a Liga Privada No.9.
I add to this…this is a very, very nice cigar with scrumptious flavors.

The fruitiness has taken first place on the list. Spice is all but gone. The chocolate and coffee are on the wane. The cigar seems to be about fruit, creaminess, malts, and nuts.

That’s it.
Chocolate and coffee are such staples of Nic puro cigars. I can’t figure why they disappeared.
After over two months of humidor time, the cigar blend is what it is. It ain’t going to get any better with another 6 months of aging time. In fact, I expect it to lose most of what I taste now. You can just tell that this cigar was not built for longevity.

Halfway point.
Smoke time is 50 minutes.

Caramel returns. No longer a generic sweetness. Raisins show up. Still within the realm of typical Nic puros.
I haven’t smoked the original Nic puro in a long time. I got a couple a while back from a reader but they were over aged and had little flavor left in them.
Peach. Definitely peach. Finally. Some individuality.

I don’t like over ripe peaches as my wife does. I don’t like wearing the peach on my arm and face as I eat it. I like very firm and crisp…and sweet…peaches. The peachiness is very strong now.
But still no complexity. The balance is just OK. The finish is long thanks to the peach element.

Here are the malts: Caramel Wheat Malt, Flaked Wheat Malt, Honey Malt, and Special B Malt. (See Malt Chart).

Have you noticed that for the longest time, the daily specials from CI and Cigar.com are pure crap? I haven’t seen one tempting buy in months.

And how about all these new releases you see on the online boutique stores? Try and find a 5 pack for less than $50. And more average in the $75-$100 range. Are they nuts?

Thanks to Miguel Castro for sending me the 10 count box of Roma Craft El Catador de Las Petite Coronas. I tried one the same day as I got them and, natch, too soon. Can’t wait to smoke them. Thank you Miguel.

Photos courtesy of Skip Martin:

Bam!
The flavors come home to Papa.

Yes my dears, the Alec Bradley Nica Puro Rosado hits a homer. It took a little more than half the cigar, but now it’s screaming laughter.
Big, bold flavors. Complex. Nice balance. Wonderful finish.
Strength is a smooth medium/full body.
Even the black pepper returns even stronger than the start. More like the start of many Pepin Garcia blends.

So now it’s the chicken v. egg theory. Is this the final blend intent? Or does the Alec Bradley Nica Puro Rosado need another couple months of humidor time?

Wisconsin is finally getting its first big snow storm of the season on Tuesday. 5-10” of snow. Charlotte is already talking herself out of going to work. She is terrified of driving in the snow even though we now have a 4 wheel tank of a truck.

The new (old) flavors: Peaches, apricot, creaminess, spice, dark cocoa, espresso, malts, nutty, citrus, cedar, dark rich earthy notes, raisins, and caramel.
Nicotine settles in big time.
Strength is now full body.
I hate nicotine. Especially when I have over a third to go.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 10 minutes.
I would have rated the Alec Bradley Nica Puro Rosado higher if the first half was as interesting as the second half. C’est la vie.

I wish Cigar Aficionado would divulge how much humidor time their cigars received before being tested. That would be more helpful than some of their taste descriptions.
I almost didn’t review this morning. Not feeling well. Big headache. But I just love to meander and ramble.

The strength has made some serious transitions. Starting out at medium body, it didn’t take long before it was very full bodied. I like strong cigars but the Alec Bradley Nica Puro Rosado is proving a little too much for me with the last 1-1/2” to go. The heavy dose of nicotine doesn’t help.
You’re not going to find this Toro any cheaper than $6.75.

Is it worth it? Sure. The thing is that the cigar is a little Schizo. A blah first half. An incredible second half. Very strong. And a very slow smoke. The Alec Bradley Nica Puro Rosado will have taken over two hours to smoke. It’s just rough on me to review a cigar that takes that long. I started this review at 6:45am and will finish it at just past 11:00am.

Take a gander at my review of the original Nica Puro review done on April 24, 2013 and decide for yourselves. There are a lot of similarities. And prices are the same.

RATING: 88

And now for something completely different:
(I pulled something from an old review and re-printed it here so there is a little overlap between today’s story and yesterday’s story.)

I’ve published this before but it’s been awhile so for my loyal and longtime readers, my apologies.
I hated Butch Patrick from almost the beginning. He had some serious substance abuse problems and was unreliable. Mostly from alcohol. His dad was an alcoholic so it ran in the family.

For those that don’t know about my association with Butch it began while I owned my recording studio in Long Beach. A good friend that had grown up across the street from Butch brought him to my studio. Butch had a rough idea for a song called “Whatever Happened to Eddie?”

He had done a rough demo in some guy’s living room and they used the theme from the Munsters.
So I organized the whole thing, got Butch to sign a management deal; and off we went.
I brought in real musicians to record the song and the B side as well. It was to be a 45 single…yes, those were the days.

The single ended up selling 181,000 units in 4 months before the FBI shut down the record company…another story.
Because Butch was so unreliable, he was a handful.

The record was finished. Time to move on to the music video which I wrote, produced and directed. I got a top notch film crew to help me out. Marvin Rush was my camera man. Along with his crew. Marvin has a helluva resume. Check IMDb.

We shot at two locations. The first was Hollywood High School and the second was at the Princess Louise’ permanently docked at San Pedro Harbor. It had two restaurants and a chapel on top for weddings.

We signed with Rocshire Records who were tied to the mob. Didn’t know that at the time.
Remember, back in 1983, it was the birth of the MTV nation. We were ground breakers.
The record company, and PR firm, sent Butch and me on a PR tour across America.

Now Butch had no musical talent. So the band, Eddie and the Monsters, had a band member that did the singing. I played bass but in the video, it portrayed Butch as the bassist. So we couldn’t play live. Basically, we were Milli Vanilli.

We did the Today show in NYC. Rockefeller Center. The Rock.
I met Bryant Gumbel and Jane Pauley.

They literally couldn’t make up their minds as to who was going to interview Butch right into the commercial prior to the interview.
The director, from the booth above us said: “Bryant, you do it. No, Jane you do it.”

Gumbel slammed his hand on to the desk and said, “Goddam good thing we don’t make dynamite here!!”
Also being interviewed was Billy Mumy of “Lost in Space” fame. Now Billy had his shit together and I remember watching the interview wishing I could manage Billy instead of Butch.

The interview went well and we took off with Billy to some high falutin’ bar in Manhattan.
The record company put us up at the Waldorf Astoria.

Some girls approached Butch and invited us to a party out on Long Island. Butch pleaded that we go. But it was a very long ride. But as always, I relented.
I reminded him that we had an early radio interview with Don Imus in the morning and we couldn’t stay long. He agreed.

Well, the worst happened. Butch got sloshed and coked up and it wasn’t until 2am that we headed back to the hotel.
I got up at 6 am. Butch didn’t go to sleep til 5am. Drunk out of his mind.

When I got out of bed, I went into the adjoining room and there were a dozen people on the floor, out cold. Half were naked.

I rattled Butch awake but he was still very drunk. He begged me to call the radio station and postpone the interview until the next day. We fought but I eventually gave in and called the station.

Man, they were pissed off. I was put on hold for several minutes. The voice on the phone said to make sure Butch was there at 7am the next day and he hung up on me.
So I told Butch I made the arrangements he asked for.

And then from left field, he told me that he was OK and to call them back and tell them we could do that morning’s interview.
I exploded.

I dragged him to the floor. I mounted his chest and began to strangle him. Really. Pounding his head on the floor at the same time.
In a croaking voice, he pleaded with me to stop and I regained my senses. I was already packed and ready to go.

I threw his airplane ticket on his chest along with a $20 bill and told him he better be at the interview. And I left for the airport.

When I got home, the record company and PR firm were furious with me. I didn’t care.

Butch returned home, having done the Imus interview as scheduled, but we didn’t talk for a week.
He came over to apologize and I allowed him to do so.

Being Butch’s manager took up too much of my time. I had a recording studio to run. I had taken on more than I could chew. And in the end, it bit me on the ass.
More later..

Photo courtesy of Rosario cigars:

Phillip asked me to help with this statement as he wanted to make sure it came out clear.
I wish he would continue but he is stubborn about his level of performance…
Charlotte Kohn

Hi Everyone,
It’s time to shut it down. Why I chose an arbitrary date (Feb.10) to quit was inappropriate. It should be based on when I wasn’t me any longer. And that occurred many, many reviews ago.

I am no longer making much sense in my reviews.
I’ve had several emails, and Comments, telling me I’m an embarrassment to my former self. I chose not to publish the comments as I felt they were painful to read and felt they didn’t need to be read by the masses.

I don’t want to go out making an ass of myself but it seems I’ve already ventured into that area and wasn’t paying attention. My illness does not seem to allow for self-awareness.

I have no idea why I said I needed a 200 count humidor. I don’t need one. My cigar count is dwindling; not getting bigger. I’m making dumb decisions and I no longer have a filter.

But then it dawned on me. My burn issues seem to be an ongoing constant. Could it be my humidors? The big Cult humidor has no seal on it and is worthless. My other two humidors are over 15 years old…and maybe they’ve lost their tight seal. So a new humidor can be used to test my theory. So, in the end, I think it works out fine. In a month or so, I will be down to just needing one humidor and I feel good that I now have a new humidor for my cigars. It just might cure my burn issues. I can’t thank Ana Cuenca enough for the great deal she gave me on the humidor I bought from her.

I also don’t have an editor to tell me when I’m rambling on and on. Or when I contradict myself within the same review. And a dozen other factors.

If I can possibly get through a couple reviews at the end of February, I will. I have a few cigars that I owe some manufacturers their reviews.

I’m nearly done compiling my “Thank You List.” I will publish it in the next hour or so.

One last note: I am not taking the site down. Too many reviews to throw away. And if my health allows it, and Charlotte checks it, I may come back for the occasional review if something special is worth reviewing.

Love and Respect,
Phillip “The Katman” Kohn
:-)

THANK YOU TO ALL THAT HAVE SUPPORTED ME WITH DONATIONS AND CARE PACKAGES OF CIGARS:

(In alphabetical order)

Allen Skipper Howlett ~ AS Pudding ~ Blake Haber ~ Bobby Winter ~ Bogdan Podkulski ~
Brad VanderVlucht ~ Bruce Cholka ~ Bryan Kinnaman ~ Carter Tinsley ~ Charles Amster ~ Charles Lim ~ Chris Kelly ~ Christopher Pond ~ Cory Grover ~ Darryl Martin ~ Dave Cribbin ~ David Weinberg ~
Dave Winnington ~ Eric Anderson ~ Eric Chen ~ Gabe Hollingsworth ~ Gary Ellis ~ George Hartmann ~
George Worley ~ Jack Torano ~ James Veevaert ~ Jarell Bozarth ~ Jeff Johnson ~
Jeremy Johnson ~ Jeremy Schaffer ~ Jerrold Johnson ~ Jim Grande ~ Joel Olson ~ Joey Holub ~
John Mies ~ Johnny Piette ~ Joseph Talotta ~ Joyce Media ~ Justin Zaharris ~ Justus Benjamin ~
Kenneth Pope ~ Kyle Hoover ~ L J Stoupenos ~ Laurence Mate ~ Lin Haper ~ Martin Roman ~
Matt Freden ~ Michael Simmons ~ Miguel Castro ~ Motor City ATV ~ Nathan Nikaido ~ Paul Barden ~
Peter Leviten Rodney Kerstetter ~ Samuel Cauman ~ Sheryl King ~ Steve Bonin ~ Steven Thomas ~
Tom Collins ~ Trevor Drayn ~ Trevor Olsen ~ Reek Havok ~ Rick Tunstall ~

AND:
(In alphabetical order)

Alec Bradley Cigars ~ Amazing Cigar Bargains ~ Antillian Cigar Co. ~ Arandoza Cigars ~
Celine N Arby Sosa ~ Crossfire Cigars ~ Crowned Heads ~ Cuenca Cigars ~
Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Ezra Zion Cigar Co. ~ Famous Smoke Shop ~ Gran Habano Cigars ~
GTO Dominican Cigars ~ J.C. Newman Cigar Co. ~ La Flor Dominicana ~ La Hoja Cigars ~ La Palina ~
Matilde Cigars ~ Miami Cigar & Co. ~ Nomad Cigars ~ Ortega Premium Cigars ~
Paul Stulac Cigars ~ Prime Cigar ~ Roberto P. Duran Cigars ~ Rolling Thunder Cigars ~
Sam Leccia Cigars ~ Santiago Cigars ~ Stogie Boys ~ Stogies World Class Cigars ~ Summit Cigars ~
The Cigar Store ~ Vivalo Cigars ~

If I’ve left anyone out, contact me and I will make things right.

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano Rosado Oscuro
Binder: Nicaraguan Corojo 2006, Nicaraguan Habano
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 6.5 x 52 “Toro Extra”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $23.00 MSRP

Today we take a look at the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary.
I’m terribly sorry but I forgot the name of the reader that sent it to me. It’s fading my dears, its fading.

BACKGROUND:
Factory: My Father Cigars S.A.
Release Date: July 9, 2015
Number of Cigars Released: 14 count boxes. 4,200 boxes released. 4,000 boxes for the US Market and 200 boxes for the European market.
Each stick is in an individual coffin.

According to Cigar Aficionado:
“My Father Cigars is preparing to roll out a limited-edition cigar for the year 2015
“It will ship to retailers nationally before IPCPR on July 17. The cigar is called My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary Toro, and it celebrates the company’s fifth anniversary since its inaugural limited edition release in 2010.

“The cigar features an Ecuador Habano wrapper that the company calls “Rosado Oscuro,” all Nicaraguan fillers, and two binders: a Nicaraguan Corojo 2006 and a Nicaraguan Habano. The launch of a special My Father limited-edition cigar is something of a tradition for the company, although the cigar is not always released on a yearly basis.

“My Father Limited Edition is an occasional release, always dependent on the availability of the aged tobacco,” Alcides Montenegro, general manager and advertising director at My Father Cigars, told Cigar Aficionado. “The process takes time. We are very respectful of this.”

“The cigar measures 6 1/2 inches by 52 ring gauge and has a suggested retail price of $23. The limited-edition cigar ships in boxes of 14, each with its own individual coffin. Only 4,200 boxes will be released—4,000 for the United States and 200 for the international market. My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary Toro is being rolled at the My Father Cigars Factory in Nicaragua.

“The first My Father Limited Edition was released in 2010. Two more My Father Limited Edition cigars followed in 2011 and 2012. A series of My Father Commemorative 9/11 Limited Edition cigars were also released in 2011 and 2012 in conjunction with Casa de Montecristo to honor the lives of firefighters who died during the September 11, 2001 World Trade Center attacks. But since then, the company has focused its limited editions on other brands in its portfolio. The My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary Toro marks a proper return to form.”

DESCRIPTION:
An absolutely gorgeous presentation. Beneath the bling is an extremely oily, dark coffee bean colored wrapper. Seams are tight..not too many veins. The wrapper just shines from oil in the artificial light of my dining room. That’s rare.

It appears to have a quadruple cap. But it is so impeccably done, I need a magnifying glass to be sure.
The double cigar bands are beautiful and very artsy. The main band is the standard My Father band. Beneath it is a secondary band; just as beautiful, that says: “Limited Edition” and beneath that, in very tiny font it says: “By Master Blender J. Garcia.”
And finally, the presentation is finished off by a matching colored orange footer ribbon.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell sweetness, chocolate, raisins, cedar, and spice.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell dark chocolate covered raisins, spice, ginger, black licorice, herbs, cedar, and a dash of coffee.
The cold draw presents flavors of spice, orange zest, sweetness, mint, chocolate, and coffee.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is a bit tight as this solidly packed big cigar finds itself only letting the mere necessary amount of smoke through it.
In fact, it is so packed, that there is little or no give when depressed by my finger. Yet, it pushes a lot of smoke into the air.
First flavors: Chocolate, nutty, citrus, cedar, malts, creaminess, sweetness, and a touch of herbal notes.
Strength is medium body.

The consensus on this cigar is all over the place. Some giving it a rating of 85 and others 95. Go figure.
The start is totally free of the famous Garcia Pepper Bomb. How odd.
As the cigar burns, more flavors: vanilla, floral notes, honeysuckle, caramel, mocha java, and cinnamon.
Still no spiciness to speak of.

I got two care packages yesterday and I forgot to write down of who gave me what. It is either Tom Collins or Jeff Johnson. I apologize profusely boys for not remembering to write it down.

Construction is top notch…as one expects from a $23 cigar. The burn line is impeccable.
The Garcia folks put out the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary thinking that a mere 5 years of service and production qualifies for a wallet bursting $23 price point. Are they insane? The Padron 50th Anniversary is $25. 5 years? 50 years? $2 difference?

I read several reviews and there aren’t many. Methinks one of two things. The cigar ain’t that great and reviewers with ties to Garcia don’t want to bite the hand that feeds them.
Or…the cigar has proven to need a whole lotta’ humidor time. Old School. Which in general terms, does not describe the My Father and Garcia blends. A good 4 weeks and blends are usually ready to review.

I don’t think I found more than half a dozen reviews for a cigar that’s been out since July of 2015.
I did discover that The Robb Report named it No.5 in its yearly “The 5 Best Limited-Edition Cigars of 2015.” The other four, in order from top to bottom: Quesada Reserva Privada, Trinidad Lost Blends, Macanudo Estate Reserve 2015, and Dunhill Signed Range Selección Suprema. That seems to be an odd, out of touch, list.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 35 minutes.
Strength begins its move towards medium/full body.
The My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary is nothing like I expected. It has disappointed so far.
It is semi-flavorful. But it’s not potent bursting with transitions and flavors. Not to mention, the spiciness is weak.

How many months, exactly, does the cigar need to age in one’s humidor? This may be the reason for some of the lackluster reviews. But then they are the Big Guys who get their cigars from the manufacturers early and therefore can allow them to rest properly. But it is these guys that give the cigar a low rating.

No change in flavors to speak of at the start of the second third. So, it will be relegated to the last third before it perks up and gives us a chance to see what it will taste like in a year. Or maybe not?
A few sips of water and flavors become a bit more interesting.

The creaminess and orange zest give it that Orange Creamsicle flavor. The chocolate is weak. Cinnamon takes the place of pepper. Vanilla, floral notes, honeysuckle, caramel, and mocha java are weak as well. They lay beneath the surface; sort of prick teasers. Even the malts falter. The nuttiness and herbal notes are near the front of the line.

I read the Halfwheel.com review. I have more in common with that review than ever before. The writer is experiencing the same things I do. Grand disappointment.
Now this is a $23 cigar released in July. That’s over 6 months ago.

Google the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary and you can find it everywhere. My Father put out 56,000 cigars for the U.S. A huge number of online stores still carry the cigar. Not to mention the list of B & M’s that carry it.

It’s not selling. A brilliant blend released over 6 months ago should have been scooped up by now. Regardless of the price. I think My Father stepped on its own dick.

I get a serious issue with the burn line. Time to touch it up.
I had really high hopes for this blend. I never would have thought it would disappoint.
Strength is just a tad bit over medium body.
Halfway point. Smoke time is 50 minutes.

Man, this is a bummer. Clearly, the halfway point does not bring the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary to life.
And then a miracle happens. Flavors arrive like the Rose Parade.
The spiciness finally hits like a neutron bomb. Big bold black pepper.

The creaminess, orange zest, chocolate, malts, vanilla, herbal notes, sweetness, caramel, floral notes, and cedar all put their right foot in and do the Hokey Pokey.
About fucking time.

This should not be the case for an expensive cigar. It should be ready to go in a reasonable amount of time. It should shine from the first 5 puffs. Even if it were green, that famous Garcia Blast of Pepper should have been there.
And now, I’m having recurring burn issues.

Maybe with 9 months of humidor time, this blend will shine.

I believe that Garcia was the leader of the New Breed style of blenders. No extensive humidor time required for those anxious to smoke his blends.
At this point, I cannot recommend the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary. Even if it improves in the last third. I have no idea if the blend will be a killer half a year from now. It’s the chance you take reviewing a cigar that is a gift. One never really knows how much humidor time it received. And then again, it might have nothing to do with the flavor profile.

Halfwheel didn’t think much of the cigar and I betcha a dollar, they never review a cigar before it’s time. They have the opportunity to let it rest til its ready. But still gave it an 86.

Based on the date of their review, I’m guessing they gave it two months of rest. And we pretty much agree on the outcome.
The only transitions are the flavors coming and going. One moment they are in full display. The other, missing in action.

The My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary is missing oomph, zest, and strength. It actually seems to be slipping from medium+ to mild/medium body. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Supply and demand is the measuring stick for this stick. Go to any of the boutique online stores and see the expensive cigars fly off their shelves. Smokers don’t mind spending their monthly food allowance if the cigar is worth it.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 20 minutes.
Still not impressed. Strength has moved to medium/full body. This helps.
If this is, in fact, all there is to the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary; it belongs in the $5 category.

Cigar Aficionado only rates it an 88. This is all it had to say about the cigar: “Wrapped in a gorgeous cover leaf, this hefty cigar starts out slightly bitter and herbal but warms to show an earthy smoke with some woodiness as well.” Not exactly high praise.
Based on The Robb Report, this is a great cigar. But their other choices leave me scratching my head.

I could not find a single Top 25 Cigars of 2015 list with this cigar on it.
Clearly, My Father really fucked the duck on this one. As it was released in July, it had 5 months to impress smokers who make the lists. And it couldn’t make one list.
Flavors are a bit better. There is a nice warmth to the blend. The newly formed strength makes a big difference.
A seam comes loose. Natch.
I hope I review a better cigar for you tomorrow.

As the last third burns, the flavor profile increases to something more interesting than the rest of the cigar.
Cigar King, who sells cigars, reviewed it. And they come to the same conclusion as most other reviewers. Dud. And yet they sell the cigar. That must have been tough but I respect their honesty.
Another big guy review site makes the cigar sound like the Second Coming.
Cigar Coop doesn’t review it. That surprises me a lot. And also says a lot.
I found dozens of online stores selling them. But couldn’t find more than 5 or 6 reviews.
And only one thinks it is manna from the gods.
I want to thank the kind reader that sent me this cigar. And I apologize for this review. I’m sure you were hoping for a rave review.

RATING: 85

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all well, happy, and wealthy.

I’m already planning for my occasional return with a few reviews. I’ve gotten a few reviewable cigars since announcing my retirement.

As I’ve said earlier, I just can’t do daily reviews but once in a while is my goal. The last 10 days since my last review has been calming. I’m able to enjoy that first cigar of the day instead of worrying about dissecting it in 5,000 words or less. I plan to do a review the last week of February.

So instead of a review, how about “And now for something completely different?:”

It was my 25th birthday in February (31 years ago today). I was in London. Curved Air’s start of their English and European tour was to begin the following night.

To celebrate, my band mates and the members of the band, Renaissance, took me to the famous Marquee Club. It is sort of the English version of the Whisky A Go Go. And it was right off of Piccadilly Circus. Piccadilly Circus is like Times Square in NYC. One of the great Who albums was recorded there. A dingy little dump that had no seats. You went into the room where the band played and stood the entire time.

I have no idea who was playing that night. As soon as we got there, Stewart, our drummer, handed over some writing paper. It was a letter to him from his friend at University of Berkeley. It was written on real blotter paper. And the friend dosed the entire letter in LSD.

Stew ripped off a small piece, the size of a dime, and handed it to me. I took it and placed it on my tongue. Stew and Sonja insisted I down a giant beer right afterwards.

We went into the room where the bands played and within 15 minutes, I was flying on a magic carpet ride. I looked over at Sonja and tried to speak but couldn’t.
She smiled the smile of the Cheshire Cat. She put her arm in mine and walked me out into the lobby where we found a bench to sit on.

Time no longer had meaning. We sat on that bench for hours. It seemed like minutes, but the evening had come to an end. People were filing out and leaving. There must have been 25 people with me, including the two bands. They heard what Stew had done to me and were laughing hard and doing shtick with their faces and hands to freak me out. They had not had their dose yet.

A big circle of friends surrounded me as Stew handed out the medication. Everyone took a piece. I told them they had no idea what was about to happen to them and they laughed at me.

We ambled outside with Sonja guiding me. Piccadilly Circus was crowded with night crawlers at 1am. Trying to get a few taxis to take us back to my flat was impossible. So I let out a guttural yell, “TAXI!!!!” and several taxis heard me and came to our location. We all piled into 3 taxis.

Sonja and I were the only ones medicated in our taxi. There were 4 others still trying to fuck with me and laughing…I kept pleading with them to stop…but even in my delirium, I knew that I would have the last laugh.

It took about 15 minutes and we were home. We all went through the door while I heard voices asking, “What’s going on? Where am I?”
I laughed. I was already 4 hours into my journey and theirs was just beginning.
It was past 2am.

I sat alone in the living room staring at a freaky poster on the wall. I watched as the poster melted and took on odd shapes. I laughed hard. It was a big 3 bedroom basement flat and people were wandering.
A chick with us walked into the living room where I sat alone. She had tears in her eyes. She asked me if it was always like this?
I replied, “No. It’s not usually this good.”
She ran screaming down the hall.

This huge group of people were dazed and confused and all having a good time…except for this chick who bragged she had done plenty of acid, but in truth, had never done it….so she began to bring down a small group who became her caretakers.
And then I got stomach cramps. I didn’t know if they were real. And then a moment of clarity hit me and I ran for the bathroom. My flat was in a several hundred year old building. No heat. And it was winter. We used space heaters.

The bathroom was tiny and I could see my breath as I sat on the toilet.
This is something you never want to do….take a dump while high on acid. All my senses were concentrated on my asshole. Disgusting.

But I made it through and ended up feeling much better and returned to the group.
We lived right across from London’s Marble Arch.

Turns out, the chick had left the flat to get some air in the cold night. She was out there for a bit and began to freak out but she had locked herself out and no one could hear her knock.

She stood out there for an hour and when someone finally went looking for her, they discovered a heap of a person on the front door mat. She was brought in where she proceeded to vomit and cry and sob.

She was bumming everyone out. I walked away.

The inside of that flat was like a circus with everyone doing something different to entertain themselves. Sonja found a lemon in the kitchen and spent several hours “walking her lemon.” My good buddy, Skip, accompanied her to keep her, and the lemon, safe.

We were up all night. People began to file out around day break, heading to their homes. And hopefully, some sleep.
I managed to crawl into bed and slept….but with some amazing dreams.

Both Curved Air and Renaissance were to open in London that night. CA was made up of hardened Hippies. What’s a little acid? No biggie.

Meanwhile, the Renaissance boys couldn’t take it and had to cancel their gig.
Holy Shit! I got blamed for everything. Not Stew. Me.
Annie Haslam, their lead singer did not do drugs and was not at the birthday party.
She held me personally responsible and from that day forward, never spoke to me again. As we had the same manager, there were times I saw her in the halls. I would say hi and she would turn her head and ignore me.

That was the last time I did acid. February, 10, 1975. It was a great time and seemed like a good idea to go out on a good note. The end of playing with hallucinogens.
We played beautifully that night with 3 encores.
The boys of Renaissance spent that night in bed, whimpering.

Try not to gasp or pass out. Curved Air reformed a few years ago (Without me, of course) and this is the band NOW. Holy crap. Is this a contest between the Stones and CA for the worst looking band after 40 years?

1982..I have always been a class act with the way I dressed:

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Nicaraguan Habano
Filler: Nicaraguan (3 Different Ligero Leaves)
Size: 5.5 x 52 “Robusto”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $9.00

Today we take a look at the J.W. Marshall by Black Label Trading Company.
Thanks to Miguel Castro for the sticks.

I was going to wait til the end of the month but I smoked one of the sticks that Miguel sent me yesterday and the top of my head spun, fell off and plotzed on the floor and then the cat began licking it.
And I didn’t want to wait until the supply dried up before reviewing it.

It feels good to be back but I sort of…kind of…needed to relearn certain things that I forgot how to do. No matter. No worries. I’m feeling good.

Yesterday’s smoke started out medium/full but by the first third, it hit intense full bodied. My head was spinning.

This morning I am reviewing this cigar on an empty stomach so I may need a horse’s feed bag so I can vomit from the nicotine buzz and not stop typing.

It is a Cigar Federation exclusive. Sales began in late January, they ran out immediately, and now waiting for more to show up.

Yesterday, Cigar Federation still had them in stock but only in 20 count bundles for $180. Today, they have a single 20 count bundle and that’s all folks until more are thrown to the dogs. (You)
This cigar is worth getting on the waiting list. (Did I just give away the end of the review?)

BACKGROUND:
Factory: Fabrica Oveja Negra, Estelí, Nicaragua
Limited production: First run of 75-ten count boxes.

According to Cigar Federation’s web site:
“The JW Marshall is a special collaboration between Cigar Federation and Black Label Trading Company. This is a limited edition cigar, with only 75 boxes of 10 cigars being produced. It is a 5.5 x 52 beauty, crafted at BLTC’s new Fabrica Oveja Negra factory in Estelí.

“Who is JW Marshal? James Wilson Marshall is the man who reported the finding of gold at Coloma on the American River in California, which eventually caused the California Gold Rush. Here’s the story of how that became a cigar: On January 24, 2014 Logan and Seth “Big Tuna” Geise are Skyping and talking about cigars, as per usual. When they begin to discuss how cool it would be to make a cigar themed off Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. There are a lot of different names and themes tossed around, but they all sort of center around gold and the golden ticket. Then, one of them realizes that January 24, 1848 is the same day that JW Marshall reported the gold find. This unlikely coincidence led to the JW Marshall cigar.

“And, speaking of Golden Tickets. There actually are Golden Tickets in a select few boxes! Yup, your box could contain Golden Ticket, but not for a factory tour. Your Golden Ticket wins you a 10ct box of the JW Marshall blend, in a vitola of your choosing! You get a ticket, you pick a vitola and you will have a box sent to you gratis. Note: It takes time to manufacture and turn around a custom request like this with the proper quality, that we all require. In other words, please be patient while waiting for this prize.

“Like this special edition cigar? Then you are in luck! There are more ideas in the works, to be released over the years as long as the FDA lets us be.”

Miguel bought a 5 pack, I believe, so no Golden Ticket for him. Willy Wonka is sad.

DESCRIPTION:
At first glance, the J.W. Marshall is nothing special.
The cigar is extremely light in the hand. Seems to need more filler.
The one I smoked yesterday had burn issues. Confirming that it could have used more filler. Once lit, the cigar gets soft. Once again confirming not enough filler. I hope they fix it in the next batch released.

The cigar’s appearance reminds me of a Swisher Sweet; all crooked and bumpy. And sort of squished looking.
At closer look, it reminds me of the color of a baked potato. Colors all over the place and not that oily. It appears to have a triple cap but is so flawlessly accomplished, it’s hard to count.

I don’t trust cigars with no cigar band. It only has a metallic green footer ribbon. Makes me think of all those cigars that Lost & Found sell without cigar bands that they find in someone’s warehouse that no one wants anymore.
Seams are tight. Lots of small veins.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell baked potato…no; just making a stupid joke..I smell sweet caramel…The aromas are hidden and it takes my giant Jewish shnoz to dig them out. Chocolate, spice, and coffee beans.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell dark chocolate, spice, espresso, caramel, cream, fruit, and cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of chocolate, spice, cream, caramel, malt, peppermint, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
Wow. A Pepper Bomb to start us off. I love it.
Smoke wraps comfortably around my head like my blankey. The draw is perfect.

First flavors: Spice, creaminess, milk chocolate, malts (To be described soon), cedar, some kind of fresh berry, and caramel.

I love a cigar that wastes no time getting down to business. Clearly, much different blend than the rest of the BLTC line. I dug a couple of the blends but not crazy about others. This? I like. A lot.
But just like yesterday’s stick, I’m having burn issues from the get go. I attend to them. I expect to have them throughout the smoke. Nothing major but if I don’t fix them immediately, they will canoe on me.

Strength hits medium/full right away. It seems stronger this morning than it did late yesterday afternoon. No food in my stomach this morning.

Transitions begin. A little bit of complexity settles in. The balance is very nice. And the finish isn’t as long as I’d like but it’s getting there.
A very nutty aspect shows itself. I taste peanuts, almonds, and cashews. (Yes, I have the best palate in the world!) LOL.

No matter what I do, the burn line wants to screw with me. But the flavors are so good, I can overlook this flaw.
I had put away all my accessories and tchotchkes for reviewing cigars and I spend 10 minutes finding everything.

So I saw my doc the other day and he says to me I only have 6 months to live. I tell the doc, “But I can’t pay you.” The doc replies, “OK. You’ve got a year.” (My apologies to Henny Youngman).

I forgot to ask Miguel how much humidor time the sticks he sent me had on them. Couldn’t be much as they have only been out for about 3 weeks. And I got them weeks ago.

Now that’s New Breed blending. Which BLTC normally doesn’t do. I consider them Old School in that their blends need a lot of humidor time. But if you allow them their due, they do pleasantly surprise you.
Here are the malts: Chocolate Rye Malt, Cara Munich Malt, Coffee Malt, Flaked Rye Malt, and Mild Ale Malt. (See Malt Chart).

Nice grouping.
I want to thank the hundreds of emails I’ve gotten from readers that not only do I feel I know but ones that have never said a thing to me. And yet have been followers for either years or a short time. Lifts my spirits with each new supportive email.

The red pepper is still very strong.
And so is the cigar as it hits full body 1-1/2” in.

I’ve had this ST Dupont Maxijet lighter for a couple years or so..maybe longer. Got it on Cigar Monster for around $80. Good deal. Normally, they go for upwards of $150.
I had to send it in about a year ago because the top window wouldn’t close. They fixed it for free.
A couple weeks ago, the thing on the side you depress to ignite the torch just collapsed. So I sent it back to Dupont and I got an email yesterday telling me they want $85. The fuckers. When I bought the lighter, it had a lifetime warranty. A year later, it was reduced to a 3 year warranty. And now, it is only a 2 year warranty. What does that tell you about the company? Loss of quality control and sending most of it to be assembled or made in China. I told them to shove and keep the piece of junk. Although it lasted a lot longer than any Xikar lighter I’ve owned. And I have a couple $10 lighters that have worked perfectly for years. Go figure.

The fresh berry is now defined as blackberry and boysenberry. The boysenberry was designed by my buddy Walter Knott back in the 1920’s. It is a cross between a European Raspberry, a Common Blackberry, an American Dewberry and a Loganberry.
If you’ve never tasted Knott’s Berry Farm’s Boysenberry Preserves, go online and snag some. You will thank your Uncle K.
I’m starting to sway in my seat like Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder from the nicotine. Whoa Nelly.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 25 minutes. So much for my description that the cigar is under filled.
Very complex. Perfect balance. And a long chewy finish.

Listening to Zep, of course.

The cigar goes out on me.
The char line has behaved itself nicely on this cigar. Nearly razor sharp now.

I take a couple of big huffs and the spiciness blasts a hole through my medulla oblongata. I’m cured! I’m cured! Better than going to Lourdes.

And then the char line goes errant. I jinxed it. I have this cheap lighter that has a bendable angled head so it is easier to pin point the flame. I don’t understand why smokers of fine cigars would use three, or four, torch flames on a delicate cigar. You need only a single flame.

Here is what I got on Amazon that works beautifully for its precision. Only $7.50.

The J.W. Marshall by Black Label Trading Company is a real treat even if it is making me hallucinate.

It is in the sunny photo below that I can now count the caps: 4.

Strength is uber full body.
The flavors: Creaminess, red pepper, espresso, chocolate, berries, caramel, cedar, nuts, wood, and a big basketful of malts.

Delicious cigar. This is a brilliant move by BLTC. A quantum leap as far as I’m concerned. The rest of the line is very good but the J.W. Marshall is something else. Really.

You can’t get on the CF waiting list until they sell the 20 count bundle. If you want a 5 or 10 count, sign up. And oh yes, in the 10 count box, you might win a Golden Ticket.

Gotta change Zep CD’s. Be right back.

I put on the first of 3 CD’s of the Live Zep album called “How the West was Won.” I believe Miguel gave this to me. It is extra exciting as I was there in 1972 when the recordings took place at the Long Beach Arena and the L.A. Forum. When Zep came to town, we bought every ticket for every show. I can visualize my friends and me sitting in my VW camper bus toking away while in the arenas’ parking lots to get in the mood.
In those days, the police gave up on trying to enforce the no smoking pot rule. So the whole arena smelled like weed. People even passed pipes down a row. You didn’t know who it was from or what was in it but you took it and puffed away and passed it on. LOL.
How naïve we were.

The J.W. Marshall is now an official flavor bomb. The Site Stats on my blog’s dashboard allow me to see when someone visits from another site. I track down what was said and it is always someone making fun of me for either all the flavors I taste or how I call every cigar a flavor bomb. While that is partially true, if you’ve read me for any length of time you know that ain’t true.

The halfway point is here. Smoke time is 40 minutes.
So much for a razor sharp char line. But minor touch ups contain it.
Flavors are so intense that my yarmulke keeps slipping off my head. (Yes, I always wear a Yarmulke on my toupee when I review).

It’s 3° outside but feels like spring. So I sit here in a Tee and boxers with the window open. One ball sack is lying on the floor. The other I contain with a rubber band so I don’t step on it when I get up to take a photo. I fling the other one over my shoulder so I don’t step on that one.
No one tells you when you are a young man that one day your balls will hang down to the floor. Fathers should tell their young sons about this.

Godamm the Pusherman! The J.W. Marshall by Black Label Trading Company is a mother fucka’!
I’ve been enjoying my time off. No pressure to describe the first cigar of the day. But what I don’t do is dissect the flavors. I just enjoy it.

I truly enjoy coming back. I will probably return in a couple of weeks.

I want to thank the wonderful readers who have sent me cigars and dough. I managed to purchase my meds this month. And last month, too. But I couldn’t have done it without the kindness of strangers, Rhett.

Every now and again, I take a massive huff on the stick. Giant behemoth flavors come forth. The spiciness is ungodly.
The berries move to nearly the front of the flavor list when I do this with the creaminess right behind.
So, I reiterate, snag some when you can.

My lovely daughter, Katie, gave me a $125 gift card for Amazon. I immediately bought a 300 count humidor. I think some of the burn issues I have is that I don’t have a tight seal on my old humidors. I literally have humidors that are nearly 20 years old and I can see that they don’t seal correctly. And the humidor I bought cost $122.22. And since I have Amazon Prime, no shipping costs and I will have it in 2 days. Best $100 a year you can spend if you buy from Amazon.

I realize I’m meandering and roaming the desert here like Moses. Sorry. I miss writing.
And I came up with a story I never told before…at least I think so.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is 55 minutes.
Flavors are blasting away. But the nicotine isn’t so bad now. Still very full bodied.

I have one more J.W. Marshall by Black Label Trading Company. I shall plan for the perfect time to smoke it.
I’m very impressed with this blend. It has everything I like in a cigar. The character, the spiciness, the flavor profile, the transitions, the complexity, perfect balance, and a wonderful finish.
Miguel also sent me some Ezra Zion Doxology cigars. I plan to review them even though they are no longer available.

The J.W. Marshall by Black Label Trading Company finishes with a ton of nicotine. My head is spinning. But it’s not harsh or bitter. And cool as a cuke.
For an ugly cigar, it did a good job.
Final smoke time is one hour 10 minutes.

RATING: 92

And now for something completely different:

This is an anecdote I’ve never published. A little reminiscence from the late 1980’s while Charlotte and I still lived in California. Fullerton, I believe.
She mentioned this to me and it all came rushing back.

I was maybe 38. We had a two year old daughter. And I was working for my dad who didn’t pay me shit as a structural steel project manager at his own shop in Orange, Ca.

Meanwhile, his partner, Arthur Bagatourian, (Called Bag-a-bullshit by the contractors because he never kept his word.) hired his own son a few years later and paid him more than twice what I got paid. My dad had no spine. And this young man, who was maybe 24, knew NOTHING about construction or steel. Another time maybe for that story.

Anyway, I worked three jobs to make ends meet. Charlotte stayed at home to be with Katie. I was in total agreement.

We had a neighbor who had a 4 year old boy that was a living terror. You know the type. Mom never says no. Let him be who he is. Arrghh.

She talked us into babysitting him one night when she said she was going out to dinner with co-workers. She didn’t show up til the next morning totally unapologetic.

We knew why she needed a night out without Beezelbub. This little boy just screamed non-stop for hours and hours. He ran around our small apartment knocking shit off the walls, off the tables, etc. He tried to break every one of Katie’s toys.
It was the first time in my life I thought euthanasia was a good idea.

Anyway, I got off track.

I worked my main job. I got work as a structural draftsman but not at home. I had to drive to the guy’s shop and work there.

And I was a Pinkerton security guard. Back in 1988, the money wasn’t bad: $10.00 an hour.
I turned out to be good at what I did because my I.Q. was more than 80 and so I got some decent posts that changed a lot as was needed. I never said no to a last minute request.

My boss, who was younger than me, talked me into applying for a carry license. Back then it was crazy. You had to take the test and apply twice a year. It took 6 months to get approved so you were always 6 months behind.

I got better gigs after I got to wear a .38 revolver. For $12 an hour. I had my own Taurus .38 that was a pretty good gun. But they gave me something made in the 1940’s. I felt like Barney Fife.
Then they wanted me to work in a bank on Saturdays. Something like 8am-2pm.
The bank was in downtown Fullerton…I think.

A really boring gig. I just stood around and said hello to customers or sat at an empty desk and looked mean.
But patrons couldn’t see my gun if I sat down so I mainly walked around the bank with my chest stuck out.

Then it happened. Two banks of the same name got robbed nearby and they killed the guard immediately.
Charlotte told me I was no longer allowed to guard banks. I got her to concede just to finish the month up. She reluctantly agreed.

Sure as shit.
In came two guys in ski masks screaming and waving pistols.

I saw them as they were opening the door and I immediately hit the silent alarm.

They didn’t see me as I was on the opposite side of the bank. But 3 seconds later, they saw me.
I was behind a corner at the end of a hallway. Gun drawn.

I had my own .38 with 4” barrel at home and went shooting all the time. So I wasn’t scared enough to shit my pants. I saw that they had pistols, not revolvers. Gulp. More bullets than me. I would have to reload much sooner.

We screamed at each other to put the guns down. Patrons and employees were on the floor. Women were crying too loud and the gunmen screamed at them to shut up.
No shots were fired. But I was ready.

It took less than 2 minutes for the cops to arrive. They stormed the entrance and shot the two fuckers dead with shotguns upon entrance. They don’t do that shit anymore.

I yelled who I was and I had a gun.
I threw the gun away from me; unloaded.
And I walked out with my hands up.
The bank manager immediately identified me to the cops so they left me alone.

I was stuck there all day while they did interviews.
Meanwhile, the bodies of the two bad guys lay there the whole time. The cops asked if I could identify them so I walked up to take a look. I said no.

And then I spit on both of them and squeaked: “You mother fuckers! I have a family!”
One cop cracked up and asked me to spit again.

Needless to say, that was the last time I did a Pinkerton gig with a gun.

And I do believe it was the start of my back problems.

Two years later, we moved to Phoenix and went back to Pinkerton. This time I found myself guarding watermelons all night long. It was really hot and I wasn’t allowed to stay in the refrigerated warehouse with millions of watermelons.

So I would make my rounds once an hour and grab a watermelon. I found a place I could hunker down and cracked the melon open with my knife. Since watermelons were plentiful, I only ate the tops where there were no seeds.

I had no napkins and ended up having my duty shirt completely covered in watermelon juice. When the next guard showed up, he would always ask what happened to me. I never responded.

That gig lasted about a week. No more guard work. But I did get work as a draftsman on a board and made great money. More than my regular job. I did it by contract. So I usually ended up making $75 per hour because I was fast and accurate.

More stories about Phoenix another time.

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Havana
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan, Costa Rican, Caribbean
Size: 4.875 x 52 “Robusto – Brujos”
Body: Medium
Price: $24.99 @ Two Guys Smoke Shop ~ $60.00 MSRP with cigar in a Humitube

Today we take a look at the Atabey Brujos by Selected Tobaccos.
Thanks to Nathan (Sorry Nathan. I can’t find your last name. Email me please)
I read a few reviews and was blown away. A couple Big Guy reviewers gave the cigar a perfect rating of 100!
One thing I noticed was that the blend is described as very Cubanesque.

BACKGROUND:
Distributed by United Cigar
Atabey Cigars launched their line with three blends: Bandolero, Byron & Atabey at the 2012 IPCPR trade show.
Atabey is sold in 51 B & M’s in the States according to the Atabey Cigars Retailer Page. And one online store (Two Guys Smoke Shop) that carries all three lines: Atabey, Bandolero, and Byron. See the Retailer’s Page on the Atabey Cigars web site.

There are six sizes and priced from $20.00 to $30.00 per cigar. These prices do not include the fancy shmancy Humitube. On the Atabey web-site, the MSRP is $50.00 to $100.00.

From the Cigar Aficionado web site (2-6-2015):
“Packaging is part of the entire experience. If you have a quality product, you want it to be confirmed by a tactile and visually appealing exterior. Good cigars deserve good, conscientious packaging. That’s where it starts. And not everyone can do it effectively. Most cigar makers know this.”

“Nelson Alfonso knows this. You might not know the name, but many in the industry do. He’s the imagery and creative director for the Golden Age design firm. They handle most of the major branding for Habanos S.A. and Alfonso has been instrumental on the Cuban Cohiba design since 1999. While he didn’t design the original logo, he has developed it over time and brought it to where it is today. And Nelson Alfonso also designed Padron’s 50th Anniversary humidor.

“Atabey, in Cuban mythology, was a female goddess of the Taino tribe. Makes sense. If Habanos is going to claim a Taino as their own with Cohiba—and also take ownership of the Taino head priest (Bejique. Or Behike), then I guess Atabey is up for grabs.

“If you’ve never heard of Atabey, let me acquaint you as best I can. They’re made in Costa Rica. The blend is one that’s pretty popular these days in premium cigars: Ecuador Havana wrapper and mostly Nicaraguan guts. And they’re distributed by a company called United Cigar Group, which is owned and operated by David Garofalo. You know Dave. He also owns Two Guys Smoke shop in New Hampshire. Atabey cigars have been around for a few years, but distribution is now in United’s hands.

“But here’s another notable fact. The Atabey Divinos retails for $19.99 each. And that’s the smallest size. The largest size, Delerios (5 3/4 by 55) retails for $29.99 each. And now the question I’m often asked about any cigar that retails for more than $10: Is it worth it? That question is impossible to answer. Budgets are varied, personal and arbitrary. Value calls are even more personal and arbitrary, so I can’t answer it definitively. What I can say about this cigar is that it’s interesting, enjoyable and definitely worth trying. But only you can make the value call.”

From the Atabey Cigars web site:
“The ATABEY cigars are produced in limited quantities by the “Selected Tobacco” factory in Costa Rica. The leaves of these cigars have many origins, they are from Caribbean and Central American countries.
“These luxury cigars only can be bought it in few stores around the world which are certified by the manufacturer. The selling of Atabey cigars began in 2011 in selected specialized stores of California, United States. By February 2012 the amount of stores was 20 spread across the United States.

“You can find these stores in our Distributors section. Any Atabey cigar sold outside this authorized stores, is not genuine.

“During 2012 we are selling the very exclusive luxury porcelain jars of 25 cigars, also the gift pack of five cigars provided with the Humitube R technology. The range of prices of Atabey cigars is from 50 USD to 100 USD, according to the size a kind of presentation, thus a packaging of 25 cigars can cost around 1000 USD.

“The brand ATABEY belongs to “Compañía Mercantil San Antonio S.A.” from Costa Rica and it is distributed in the United States by “Cuba Rica, Inc.” under supervision of Selected Tobacco S.A.”

UNITED STATES EXCLUSIVE RESELLER:
David Garofalo, President (Two Guys Smoke Shop)

From the Cigar Federation web site:
“Alphonso ages his cigars for three years post rolling, and blends cedar for his aging cabinets.

DESCRIPTION:
Thanks to Nathan, I have two sticks to compare. One is almost flawless with nearly invisible seams and few veins. The wrapper is the color of caramel with a touch of oil on its surface.
I checked out a couple reviews because in my naïveté, I had never heard of this cigar until I received it in the mail.
All of the reviewers say the cigar band looks like the old Cuban Cohiba. I can see some similarity but not that much.
Photo courtesy of Cigar Aficionado:

The stick is firm but light in the hand. The triple cap is perfect.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Ritos: 6.125 x 55
Delirios: 5.75 x 55
Sabios: 5.25 x 52
Brujos: 4.875 x 52
Divinos: 4.25 x 50
Ídolos: 4.25 x 55
See Two Guys Smoke Shop for Pricing.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell floral notes, honeysuckle, and wood.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell a wonderful hickory wood note, molasses, floral notes, honeysuckle, and cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of spice, floral notes, hickory, molasses, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is very good. Lots of smoke.
And then a blast of power from an overload of red pepper. Love it.
Following the pepper is a big dose of creaminess, caramel, sweetness, hickory, and cedar.
Strength is medium body.

I don’t know how long Nathan had these cigars in his humidor but I’ve had them for about two months. The presentation is nuts. Certainly not aimed at the group I hang with.
At $25 a stick, I do expect some sort of miraculous, mystical journey.
So far, the cigar hasn’t hit me in the puss with a pie.

This morning’s musical accompaniment is Stevie Wonder. Disc 3 of the Best of Stevie Wonder. Starts with “Sir Duke.” That incredible horn line makes it impossible not to sing along. It’s a shame he lost that prolific period in his life. Clearly, he can stand alone on his past works.

The char line is near perfect. Considering the issues I’ve had with my cigars since Wisconsin weather has become sub-arctic, that’s quite the accomplishment.
7/8” into the cigar, some generic nuttiness appears along with the molasses turning to maple syrup.
The spiciness has all but disappeared. Too bad.
I smoked a Cuban El Rey de Mundo that Charles Lim sent me. The Atabey Brujos has a similar flavor.
I see the comparison now. The wrappers look very similar:

The Atabey Brujos is a damn fine cigar but I don’t see a rating of 100 in its future.
The char line is now wavy.
There are no real important transitions. Complexity is minimal. Balance is fine. The finish is long. But at less than 5” long, it has a lot of catching up to do.
A dark espresso enters the picture. Along with white chocolate. The floral notes become stronger.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 20 minutes.
Good cigar but at this point, it doesn’t deserve more than a 90.
The blend finds a very buttery toast element.
And then the Atabey Brujos makes its move. The spiciness returns. Strength hits medium/full body.
Flavors become buoyant and bold. (Yes, they bob and weave).

A fruity note pops up. Can’t discern what it is yet.
As nice as this cigar blend is, it should have come out of the gate with guns a’blazin. It didn’t. It built slowly. Not the character one expects from a $60 or $25 cigar.

As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t deserve the high praise of the big guys. Don’t get me wrong, I like it a lot. But to be perfect? It has to provide more blending essence than it is providing.
A rating of 100 should knock me out cold and I don’t wake up for two days.

I got fooled by the reviews that gave it 100. My expectations were so high that I’m having trouble enjoying the cigar for what it is. An excellent, Cubanesque, flavorful blend.
There is this thing going on in the back of my throat that happens with Cuban blends. It is sort of a raspiness. I find it difficult to describe.

The halfway point is here. Smoke time is 30 minutes.
The burn line needs minor touch ups here and there.

Strength settles back down to medium body. Maybe a couple of big puffs and let’s see what happens…Spiciness, creaminess, cherries, hickory, maple syrup, cedar, espresso, white chocolate, floral notes, nuts, toastiness, and very smooth going down my gullet.

I don’t know how they did it, but the folks at Atabey Cigars managed to pull of something very few Central American blenders have done….they have recreated a Cuban blend using CA leaves. Now if they can do it, why not others?
You can see the start of some minor wrapper cracks below:

This Ecuadorian wrapper is very, very thin. And prone to cracking.

Here’s the thing. You can buy authentic Cubans for what the Atabey Brujos goes for. Now if Atabey had made this an affordable cigar, I’d say go for it. But what Atabey is selling is the ornate presentation and a good cigar.

Let’s face it, the Humitube with a cigar in it is strictly for the polo pony set. I think my fellow mallet playing millionaires would be just as happy smoking a Behike or RASS.

The problem with the Humitube is I really doubt that the cigar can age properly. Cigars need to breathe and encased in glass makes something happen…where does the excess moisture go? The cigar, of course. So if kept in these contraptions too long, you are going to get mold on the stick. Anyone that has been foolish enough to buy one of those desktop plastic humidors knows this. (This counts me too).
So what do you do? As one photo above shows, you are supplied with “Humidor solution.” This means you can replenish the PG into the tube. But again, how does it breathe? The best part of keeping your cigars in a humidor is that it melds with your other cigars to bring about a nice rounded flavor that comes with being mixed with other blends.

The Atabey Cigars web site explains how the technology works. Check out this diagram:

The retail is $50-$100 per cigar in the Humitube. This is nuts. Thank goodness that Two Guys Smoke Shop sells the cigars with or without the chazerai. A jar of humitubed Brujos is $625.00 for 25 cigars. You won’t pay this in a B & M. It will be $1,500.00 for the jar…plus state taxes.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is 45 minutes.
A big crack forms near the foot. Can’t blame it on the cigar. It’s just too cold in our house. We’re heating two floors and a basement. We are in the midst of finding a small apartment to live in. What a hassle.

The Atabey Brujos finds its golden spot right here and now. Flavors explode into bold and intense components.
This is how the cigar should have started; not finished.

We now have full complexity in motion. Balance is perfect. And transitions come fast and furious.
If the Atabey Brujos had begun this way, I’d be tempted to give it a very high rating. But not now as it winds down.

I’m really digging the blend now. All the aforementioned flavors are swingin’. Especially, the floral notes, cherries, toasty and nuttiness, espresso, and creaminess.

The final smoke time is barely going to crack an hour. And that’s if I smoke it down to a mere nub. Which I rarely do.
Strength is a solid medium body.

The glue seems to have done the trick on the crack; although, it’s ugly.

I’ve only got a handful of cigars left to review. And none are brand new. I’ve gotten some emails urging me to buy new cigars. I wish I could, brothers.

I’m going to review the Ezra Zion Doxology even though you can’t buy it any longer. Only 1005 cigars were produced. Because they are so terrific, I want to document the flavors for posterity.
And thanks to Miguel Castro for providing those to me.

I also want to review the Behike 52 that Charles Lim sent me as I have a serious lack of Cuban reviews.

The Atabey Brujos is an excellent blend. But it’s not worth $25.00. I don’t want to hurt David Garofalo’s business. But your money can be better spent on blends just as good for much less. And if you want Cuban, it’s just a trip away from Switzerland or Spain.

Final smoke time is 55 minutes.
The Atabey Brujos is a just a tad bit harsh at the end.

RATING: 93

And now for something completely different:
“How I Became a Temp Rock Star-1974”

“Would you like to come to Europe with us this summer?” asked Skip and Debbie?
“Huh?” I replied with exact articulation.

“We are going to buy one way tickets and go. We thought that we would form a trio of you, me and Travis and head for Greece. And live off of our music. Whatcha’ think?”

My head spun. What a nutty idea. But I was 23 and stupid. I had a steady girlfriend, 3 years younger than me, and she had a 2 year old daughter. I called her and told her of my plans. And then asked if she wanted to come with me? She said yes. Oh God. In retrospect, that was a huge mistake. If they weren’t with me, I wouldn’t have felt the need to come home after I was fired from Curved Air and left broke. But I loved her so my decision made no sense for my career; which was in England.

We landed in Amsterdam with our one way tickets. And not enough cash on us to turn around and fly back. Make or break.
We figured it would motivate us more if were stuck and penniless. A really stupid plan.

After 6 weeks in Europe, we were broke. We figured the dough we brought with us would last for months. Man, were we wrong.

With what little dough we had left, we decided that if we were to be poor, and on the streets, better we were in a country that spoke English. So we took the ferry from Calais, France to Dover, England….everyone puking the whole way. The English Channel is one of the roughest waterways in the world.

After a few weeks of spinning our wheels and checking “Melody Maker’s” musician want ads every day, we were really, really broke. The girls found gigs as maids in a hotel. So we were able, at least, to eat. We lived in a dungeon flat on the west side of London.

I called a phone number for a roadie gig, but it was also the phone number for a bassist wanted gig. I was dying for any job.
The voice on the other end suggested that I try out for the band and if I didn’t make it, I could look at the roadie gig. So an audition was set.

There was trepidation from my friends. We had come as a group…sort of. Prior to leaving for Europe, Travis got drunk and wrapped his bike around a tree, a block from our house one late night, and splattered his leg into a million pieces. He spent months in a VA hospital and our plans got all fucked up. But the tickets were paid for and we decided not to scrap the plan.

I had 5£ left on me. I spent half of it getting to the audition in St. John’s Wood. The home of Miles Copeland III. It was a block away from Abbey Road (EMI) Studio. (Stewart lived a couple doors down in a flat. And we would sit on the stoop and watch tourists trying to get that famous crosswalk photo….but it was a busy street and English drivers made it a point to run down tourists.)

I was ushered downstairs to the practice room. It was encased in glass and I saw the band playing with another bassist. As I entered the lounge, my heart sank. There had to be at least 20 other bassists waiting their turn. As I sat and listened to the same songs being played over and over again to test the bass players, I played my own versions in my head. Time dragged on unmercifully.

I could hear the whispers of the other guys as they discussed who was sitting, and waiting, with us. Apparently, players of note had arrived and the other players felt it was becoming a waste of time. So did I. So I got up, grabbed my bass, and left.

I got as far as halfway down the driveway when Stewart Copeland came after me.
“Hey douche bag! Where do you think you’re going?”
I told him I didn’t do cattle call auditions. He insulted me again and grabbed my arm and pulled me back downstairs. He told me: “Sit down and shut the fuck up.”

My turn finally arrived. With the words, “You know, we’ve been playing the same shit all day. Why don’t you give us something to play?” The color and blood drained from my body.
So I tied my balls to the hitching post and played something very jazz fusion-like. They joined in and we went to town.

At the time, every bassist in England sounded like Chris Squire of Yes. Very technical, but no soul. I on the other hand, had been playing like the players on the CTI label in America. Funky and jazzy. Very Stanley Clarke-ish, Ron Carter, James Jamerson, and others.

They went nuts over me. We kept playing and I played my ass off in the time allotted.
When we were done, I was introduced to everyone. The keyboard player was Darryl Way. A very famous violinist with the group Curved Air.
Who?

I had no idea who that band was. That’s because, while Curved Air, was huge in Europe, they had bombed in America. They sounded like a cross between “Jefferson Airplane” and “It’s a Beautiful Day.” Both bands had chick singers and were considered progressive rock.

But this was not Curved Air. Curved Air had folded two years earlier. Miles grabbed Darryl from Darryl’s own band, “Wolf,” and said he’d build a great band around him. The band was formed and a singer was the last member needed. We became “Stark Naked and the Car Thieves.” We played out a couple times for a pittance. In small clubs.

One day, Darryl comes to rehearsal and says we have to put the band on hold for a couple of months because Curved Air had a record deal that had to be completed with Decca… so they figured the easiest approach was to do a live album. Go on tour as Curved Air with the original members, record a couple of gigs and voila! An album.

“Kohn. You’re going to be the bassist.”
Huh? (My favorite expression.)

Rehearsals began in Covent Garden (London’s vegetable warehouse section) where a very cool rehearsal studio existed. They knew the music. I didn’t. And it was complicated. All the players had serious classical backgrounds. The violinist and keys player are now world famous composers of symphonies and operas.
So most of the rehearsal time was spent drinking tea and eating biscuits (cookies).

I thought we were doing club gigs until we drove up to the Round House in London. It seated thousands and we headlined.

I remember freaking out because since I didn’t know the songs very well, I had cheat sheets on a music stand. No music stands at the Round House would look very good for a rock n roll band.

And then I remember, “Ladies and Gentlemen….For the first time in 2 years…CURVED AIR!!!!
“1-2-3-4,” screamed Darryl.

(As it turned out, the best album I did with Curved Air was the “Live” album -still available new on Amazon, eBay, and everywhere else. Type in “Curved Air.”)

To be continued…

From Cigar Aficionado 2-9-2016:
The former founder and president of the now defunct Berger & Argenti has struck out with a new company and new cigar that he’s unveiling at this year’s Tobacco Plus Expo in Las Vegas this March. Called La Gran Llave, the cigar was created by Michael Argenti and is made in Nicaragua at the A.J. Fernandez factory. It’s being distributed by Argenti’s new company of the same name: La Gran Llave Ltd.

“It literally means ‘the big key’ or an element of great importance,” said Argenti. “Abdel [A.J. Fernandez] could possibly be the finest cigarmaker of his generation. From his growing operations to pre-industry and his state-of-the-art cigar factory, his enterprise is nothing short of remarkable.”

La Gran Llave will come in five sizes: Corona Extra, 4 3/4 inches by 48 ring gauge; Double Corona, 7 1/2 by 55; Robusto, 5 by 54; Guapo, 5 1/2 by 60; and Torpedo, 6 1/2 by 56. Packaged in boxes of 20, the cigars are slated to retail for $6.99 to $10.99 and should start hitting retail shelves in four to six weeks.

The blend consists of a dark Mexican San Andrés wrapper, an Ecuador Habano binder and Nicaraguan fillers.

Argenti has been in the premium cigar business for over 25 years. After leaving Tabacalera Perdomo in 2005, he started a company called Cuban Imports where he was able through licensing agreements to release his versions of heritage brands like H. Upmann and Por Larrañaga. More recently, Argenti partnered with Kiki Berger to start Berger & Argenti, a company that distributed cigar brands like Entubar, and Mooch. The company shut down in 2014. Later that year, Argenti joined Ventura Cigar Company (a division of Kretek International) as its portfolio manager. Argenti is now partnered with Angel Aguayo for La Gran Llave.

Wrapper: Corojo (Nicaraguan?)
Binder: Indonesian, Nicaraguan (Double Binder)
Filler: Nicaraguan (Ometepe, Jalapa, Estelí)
Size: 6 x 52 “Toro”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $8.00-$9.00

Today we take a look at the Blessed Leaf Doxology by Ezra Zion Cigar Co.
Thanks to Miguel Castro for the sticks.
I’m an unabashed, unapologetic huge fan of the masterful blending of Kyle Hoover and Chris Kelly of Ezra Zion.

BACKGROUND:
Only 1005 cigars were produced for sale. They were gone in a couple of days. But I’m a firm believer that anything by EZ should not go into cigar history without a review. It must be documented otherwise it was like it was never there. And you, my dear readers, will never know what you missed if you didn’t act instantaneously to buy a 5 pack or larger.

From the Ezra Zion Cigar Co. web site:
“Blessed Leaf Doxology is an absolute masterpiece of a cigar!

“A gorgeous oily Corojo leaf wraps Indonesian and Nicaraguan binder over an eclectic mix of Jalapa, Ometepe, and Esteli Ligero.

“The cigar begins with flavors of espresso bean, heavy whipping cream, black peppercorn, and suede leather. The retrohale is warm and sweet.

“As the cigar progresses, vanilla blasts and toasted nuts round out the profile. Blasts of maple, milk chocolate, and dried fruit make appearances throughout.

“Factory: EZHQ.”

DESCRIPTION:
A nice looking stick with a penny/gingerbread colored wrapper. Lots of oil. Firm and fully packed. Tight seams. Only a few veins. A triple cap so flawless that my photos will be the only method to reveal the actual count.
I’m not sure what the meaning of the string cigar band but it’s clever and beats a ribbon footer.
I should note that the cigars are unusually round. Something you don’t see often.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell black pepper, vanilla, sweetness, caramel, espresso, cedar, and a touch of cocoa.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell strong pepper, clove, vanilla, espresso, cream, chocolate, cedar, and a nice vegetal note.
The cold draw presents flavors of chocolate, cream, bell pepper, black pepper, leather, cream, cedar, espresso, and sweetness.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is spot on.
Flavors are folded on to my palate like unrolling a large rug: Big black pepper notes, creaminess, espresso, vanilla, chocolate, leather, malts, Asian cooking spices, graham cracker, a touch of lemon citrus, and wood.

I’ve had the sticks that Miguel sent me a couple weeks now. I smoked one the first day and it was like I was smoking a properly very well aged stick. It needed no additional humidor time. But in just the couple weeks I’ve had them, they have improved exponentially.

I have to say when reading comments on cigar forums and social media, most cigar smokers don’t taste the intricacies of the blend. Actually, I don’t either when I am just enjoying a cigar. I don’t dissect it like I do when I am reviewing it. I just enjoy.

It seems that smokers who think the dissection of flavors is hogwash don’t get it. Getting into the guts of a cigar blend takes a lot of concentration and is not necessarily much fun. It requires constant focus and attention to the palate. While just enjoying a good cigar only requires that you have a good time knowing that you made the right choice.

OK. Back to the Blessed Leaf Doxology.
I’ve used the time while typing to allow the cigar to rest so I don’t encounter burn issues by rushing the cigar. After carefully toasting a cigar, I always put it down for 2-3 minutes to allow it to cool off. It usually ensures a sharp char line. And if it goes out, so what? Light it up again…carefully and off you go.

Strength is medium body. The strength on this cigar sneaks up on you. One moment you are smoking a nice medium body cigar and then BAM! It goes balls to the wall. (I never really understood that phrase.)

The caramel hits home hard at this point. A wonderful sweetness that reminds me of powdered sugar arrives with it.
The sun is out now; shining brightly. The char line is razor sharp but the sun is washing out the colors of the cigar and melting the string cigar band:

It is an unusually warm day today: 46° with just a gentle breeze. Yesterday was terrible. It was in the 40’s but we had 50mph winds and it was freezing cold to be outside. Of course, we had to go out apartment hunting. That was such a disaster. More on that later.

The pepper is pretty strong. Something that occurred over the 2 weeks I’ve had them.
The draw is pretty damn good. The right amount of resistance. Smoke fills the room and all is well in the world.
The Blessed Leaf Doxology is a slow leisurely smoke.
Only 1-1/2” in and transitions occur as required. Complexity settles in. Nice balance of flavors. And a nice chewy long finish.

The vanilla reminds me of the vanilla taffy we always bought from the vendor at Long Beach’s Nu-Pike Amusement park downtown. You could watch as the taffy was pulled by a machine and nothing tasted as good as fresh vanilla taffy. Of course, they had other flavors but the vanilla literally sparkled with bright flavor.

Strength begins to move to medium/full.

The complexity is spot on now. So much so that there is a Vulcan mind meld between me and the Blessed Leaf Doxology. Oh no. I see an 80 year old hooker telling Kyle Hoover to go home and never come back. I see Chris Kelly is really a member of the living dead but chooses to live in Austin on the weekends.
I’m going to catch hell for those remarks.

The Blessed Leaf Doxology is a spectacular cigar. It is such a pleasure to write about great cigars. And such a bummer to write about bad cigars.
I’ve never smoked, or written about, a bad EZ blend. They just don’t exist. Truly, my desert island cigar blends choice.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is a little over 30 minutes.
Very nutty now. The chocolate moves to the forefront. There is a honey syrup flavor now. Other flavors such as vanilla, espresso, caramel, creaminess, spice, something fruity, graham cracker, lemon citrus, smokiness, and wood round out the enticing complexity and balance.

But ahh…the malts: Smoked Malt, Coffee Malt, Rye Malt, Chocolate Malt, and Mild Ale Malt complete the picture. (See Malt Chart).

Looking for a new place to live is a bitch. It is stressing the shit out of Charlotte and me.
Places we can afford that are nice are in the ghetto. Places we love are priced in the ridiculous strata. We loved a place in North Milwaukee. I got home and did a crime search for that area and found that it had 250%-450% over the national average in murders, robberies, rapes, car thefts, and assaults. Holy cow.

We saw one place where the idiot management company actually showed us a place that had a big fire. It looked like I was a Marine clearing a house in Fallujah.
Charlotte is losing it. Place after place and they are too expensive. Or they are too small for the dough. We have no idea what we are going to do.

Back to happier things: Blessed Leaf Doxology.
I truly wish that Kyle and Chris made more than 1005 cigars. This is a blend everyone should be able to enjoy. I hope my review will goose them into producing more.

The Blessed Leaf Doxology is one of the best blends I’ve smoked. I don’t know how they keep coming up with wonderful blends like: Ugly Christmas Sweater, Bee’s Knees, Blessed Leaf 1611, and All My Ex’s. And of course the regular production blends are fantastic.
I was also honored to review the only Ugly Hanukkah Sweater blend. Probably to come out next December.

Construction is top notch. No burn issues. No wrapper issues.
The halfway point is upon me. Smoke time is 45 minutes.
Each listed flavor takes its turn at the head of the line.
Smooth and luxurious. Best two words to describe this blend.
What a gorgeous cigar:

I rarely taste leather anymore. It seems like a fall back description by reviewers that can’t figure out what they are tasting.

In the case of the Blessed Leaf Doxology, there is a definitive leather flavor. I have this beautiful, and expensive, Italian leather bass guitar strap. I paid $125 for it about 13 years ago. It looks like new and still smells of new leather. This blend reminds me of my bass strap. Except the cigar is much shorter.

I suggest you contact the boys on the Ezra Zion web site and urge them to make more Blessed Leaf Doxology. Really noodge them.

I feel somewhat ashamed that I am reviewing a cigar you can no longer buy but this is a special cigar and needs some documentation.

I probably won’t be back for a while as I really don’t have anything new to review. I do have some 2014-2015 sticks that have been out for a while and ones I’m sure you have already smoked so it seems silly to review them.

I do have some brand new Isabela sticks, thanks to Johnny Piette…but they need a couple months humi time. And I got a pack of Bespoke Cigars from Estonia blended and produced by Hendrik Kelner. They sent me 3 blends but only 3 sticks each so I’m not sure when they will be ready to review.
I do have a Cuban Behike 52, Recluse Amadeus Habano Reserva, We the People cigars, La Cima Nicaraguan cigars, and the new Foundry Ramon Allones and Foundry Bolivar. All these cigars won’t be ready for a while.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 5 minutes.
The flavors one last time: Creamy, vanilla, espresso, leather, caramel, honey, nutty, graham cracker, citrus, espresso, chocolate, fruity, smoky, malts, cedar, and leather.
Very impressive.

For my detractors that don’t believe I taste all of that, I say that when I am relaxing and smoking this cigar, I taste the cigar as a whole. I don’t try to cherry pick the flavors. Just like you smoke a good cigar. And, of course, it is the first cigar of the day for me when my palate is fresh and virgin.

Medium/Full on its way to full bodied.
Even with this close up photo, it is impossible to count the caps:

Graham cracker, black pepper, nuts, cream, malts, and leather take the lead.
Yes my friends, the Blessed Leaf Doxology is now an official flavor bomb.
Strength hits full body with the absence of nicotine. Woo Hoo.

Godamm the Pusherman! As great as the Blessed Leaf Doxology is, a few more months of humidor time will perform even more magic.

I have 3 left. I’d be happy to sell them to you for $600 each to pay medical bills. LOL.
The Blessed Leaf Doxology finishes stunningly without a hint of harshness, heat, or bitterness. Very full bodied. And very full flavored.
Kudos to Kyle and Chris.

RATING: 94

And now for something completely different:
Curved Air Chronicles…1974

Here I was…..dressed like a rock star-in-training on a locomotive, in first class, seeking its way to Leeds, England. Naturally, The Who played their “Live at Leeds” album there. I remember being excited about that. Living rock and roll history.

In her daily life, Sonja loved to dress in boas and beads…a real Hippie. She was also very attractive. A looker. But as the withdrawal from morphine addiction took its toll, she became very skinny due to not sustaining a proper diet. But the boys loved her. She was one of the most impressive front persons I’ve ever seen in a band.

First class on the train was kind of strange. There were 12 tables that sat four passengers in each car. So you sit in comfy chairs and are served your drinks there. None of the band wanted to be anywhere near Sonja and it was my duty to keep an eye on her. She was hiding her withdrawal from the rest of the band because they had gone through this too many times and swore they’d never go through it again.

Stew told me at the train station that they had forgotten to get Sonja’s prescription of Methadone for the 8 hour train trip and I would have to get it filled when we got to Leeds. Oy vey. He told me to expect some issues. That was some understatement.

So Sonja and I sat on one side of a four seat table and wouldn’t you know it…across from us was an older gentleman and his wife and he just happened to be a member of the British Parliament.

Stewart Copeland, who was in Stark Naked with Darryl, Mick, Butch, and me were taking a break while Curved Air finalized their commitment to RCA for one last album. All of the original players rejoined and I was the only new guy. For some reason, they went through bass players like Spinal Tap went through drummers. No spontaneous combustion though.

As I made small talk with the Parliament Minister sitting across from us at the parlor table, I began noticing something out of the corner of my eye. Sonja was twitching.

We hadn’t been on the train 30 minutes with 7-1/2 hours to go, and she was going through morphine withdrawal. I had no idea how to deal with this.
The minister’s wife was definitely staring at Sonja. I laughed and said “She’s a junkie going through withdrawal. Pay no mind.” And I laughed again.

I hoped some reverse psychology would work…It did for another 30 minutes until she began to convulse.
Her arms began to flail. So I grabbed them. She had the strength of someone on steroids. I could barely contain her. Her eyes rolled up. Only the whites of her eyes showed.

She started making strange animal sounds. She got one arm free and began to claw at her other arm with her fingernails, taking layers of skin with them. This would continue for 7 hours causing bloody red arms.

Now mind you, I sat in a full first class parlor car with maybe 48 rich people. All were staring and not a single goddam one asked if they could help.
Not even the two douche bags sitting across the table from us.

I was on my own. I thought of finding the other members of the band, who were in a different car, but then I was told they would bolt and the band would collapse. And I’d be out of a job. A has-been before my time.

The band had gone through this with her several times and they only agreed to the comeback tour if she was clean. So it was a secret that was put on me because I was the only new guy of the original crew. Thanks a lot.

So, I sat there all day long, fighting with her while trying to conceal it and no one coming to my aid. It was like a Twilight Zone episode.

I had some Dramamine on me for motion sickness. I started emptying the bottle into her mouth and it helped a little. She would fall asleep after I popped 6 pills in her mouth.

Occasionally, the band would walk through our car, on the way to the club car, to drink or eat and they’d wave with big smiles on their faces, glad that they weren’t the ones stuck sitting with Sonja.
They were effete snobs because of their classical training as musicians. And she was a Hippie who just happened to star in the original London production of “Hair.” I smiled and waved back. Sonja was unconscious…thank God.

We got to Leeds and then to the hotel where Sonja and I shared a room. I plopped her on the bed, tied her arms and legs to the bed, and ran down to the pharmacy…maybe half a block away. I got her prescription of methadone, and needles, and I ran back to the hotel.
She was gone. I panicked and ran into the hallway. Nothing.

I found her in the closet, lying in the fetal position, and making moaning, animal sounds.
I dragged her to the bed and tried to revive her. Her eyes were rolled back. She was delirious. She was about to convulse.

I straddled her. I screamed at her while I began to prepare her injection.

Now I have never given a person a shot in my life, let alone an intravenous one. So all I could see were tomorrow’s headlines. “Jew Bass Player Kills Beloved Singer. Hang the Kike!”

I broke the methadone glass ampule and guessed how much should go into the syringe. I tied her off with those giant rubber tubes.

I was unable to get her arm to be still. So I put all of my weight on her, and I began to bitch slap her while yelling her name. Over and over and over. Finally, she came to her senses from being slapped a couple hundred times.

“Sonja…please….you need to hold still and help me. I don’t know how to put a syringe into your vein.”
It took several minutes but she finally guided the syringe into her vein perfectly on the first try and she pushed the plunger.

Then there was silence. Was she dead?

It took almost a minute but her eyes opened, with lots of sparkle, and she smiled at me.
I fell off of her, sideways, and fell to the floor next to the bed. I lay on my back, breathing hard.
Sonja sat up and asked how I was doing? She had no recollection of the day. Nothing.

“So Phil….you want to go find the roadies and play poker?”
“No, thanks. I think I will just lay here on the floor for a while.”

And off she went. I heard the door slam and I lay completely soaked in my rock star clothing.
This occurred a couple more times on the tour. I came close to having a nervous breakdown.
To be continued…

Wrapper: African Cameroon
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Dominican
Size: 9 x 52 “Figurado”
Body: Medium
Price: $14.60

Today we take a look at the Arturo Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece (2009).
Thanks to Johnny Piette of Prime Cigar for the stick.
I realized I’ve never reviewed a Hemingway. And then lo and behold, one is delivered in the mail. A 7 year old Masterpiece.

BACKGROUND:
Distributed by: Fuente & Newman Premium Cigars Ltd.
Factory: Tabacalera A. Fuente y Cia.
According to Cigar Aficionado:
“This huge perfecto has a toothy and slightly dry wrapper. It burns perfectly, and is surprisingly mellow with sweet wood and herbal notes. A dry finish.
“Issue: Sep 08, 2009
“Score: 90
“Nearly a foot long, this titanic figurado burns well, offering a mellow, woody smoke complemented by toasty, fruity notes, light orange peel and a café au lait finish.”

DESCRIPTION:
The cigar shows its age with a few minor cracks and some loose seams. Fingers crossed that this behemoth stick lasts the entire review.
The wrapper is very oily and multi-colored. Bits of russet brown along with shades of coffee bean, and light caramel.
The triple cap is flawless. The foot is just slightly coming apart.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell chocolate, red pepper, coffee, cinnamon, baking spice, fruit, and cedar.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell cherries, chocolate, pepper, cinnamon, citrus floral notes, coffee, cedar, and baking spices.
The cold draw presents flavors of Cream of Wheat, chocolate, cream, cinnamon, citrus, and nutmeg.

FIRST THIRD:
A weighty cigar which makes it difficult to hang from one’s lips while typing.
The draw is spot on. Lots of smoke.

I’m a firm believer that, at the most, 20% of cigars can maintain flavor and get better with several years of humidor time. The other 80% lose their flavor and the ancillary elements that go along with making it a good cigar. They just don’t stand up.

I’m reviewing this cigar because I believe the Fuentes are in that top 20% of cigar makers that want you to age their cigars and eventually understand the blender’s intent.

Cracks begin to form at the midway point. Uh-oh.
The flavors: Chocolate, black pepper, coffee, floral notes, graham cracker, citrus, cedar, espresso, and cherries.
The strength is very mild.
A very slow smoke. I will be here for hours.

Even at this early point, the Arturo Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece is complex.
I just heard on CNN Trump declaring at a rally: “I’m a better person than the other candidates!” Oh lord.
The ash is nearly 1-1/2” long and hanging tough. I’m impressed.

The strongest flavors are graham cracker, chocolate, malts, cherries, and toasty. I believe that age has affected the cigar. At least in the first half. Fingers crossed that the second half kicks in and proves aging a Fuente works.

Not a fan of mild bodied cigars. There are a couple like Manolo Estate Connecticut, Undercrown Shade, My Father Connecticut, and New World Connecticut. All are very flavorful that makes up for the lack of oomph.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 35 minutes.
Flavors are perking up.
But I’m getting a scary crack at the center of the cigar.

The black pepper surges big time. I’ve smoked my share of all the Fuente blends. I prefer the Don Carlos. None of them were aged more than a year.
The Arturo Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece is now showing its stuff. Very complex. Nice balance. And a long finish.
The flavor profile has expanded: Graham cracker, black pepper, malts, coffee, chocolate, citrus, cherries, nutty and toasty, nutmeg, cinnamon, and cedar. Now that’s impressive.

I shouldn’t read the cigar forums. But someone invariably provides a link to my site and it shows up on the dashboard of my blog. I follow the trail and sure enough….they are making fun of me. Flavor Bomb Katman. I know, I know…if I dish it, I should be able to take it. But it’s more than that. I cannot help it if my palate is better than most. The brain surgeons declare that they can’t taste what I taste. Is that my fault? And then I went on to read a diatribe about a certain Big Guy reviewer that was downright nasty. Pages and pages of dissing the poor guy. Sure, I make fun of other reviewers but I don’t think I’m mean. This is why I no longer belong to cigar forums. Too much mean spirit going on. And the know-it-alls drive me crazy.

Read Cigar Aficionado. Look at the flavors they come up with. I’ve never read anyone pointing the finger at CA saying that the reviewer goes overboard with his descriptions.
I often use CA as a guideline to look for the flavors they taste. The writers that rate the cigars have incredible palates. I don’t know. Is it the chicken or egg theory? Are smokers born with great palates? Or are great palates earned by decades of cigar smoking?

Strength has moved to medium body.
A seam comes loose and I glue it.
Meanwhile, the char line has not required a single touch up.
And then Bam! Flavors become intricate and well-defined.

The cherry element is strong. So is the graham cracker. Strong creaminess shows up for the first time. The chocolate and coffee make a perfect pair. The citrus that seemed to start out as lemon zest is now orange citrus. A slight touch of sweetness that comes from a butterscotch pudding element is a nice addition.

Here are the malts: Chocolate Malt, Coffee Malt, and Caramel Wheat. (See Malt Chart).

Halfway point. Smoke time is one hour 5 minutes.
I’m pleasantly surprised at how spicy the 7 year old Arturo Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece has turned out to be.
Clearly, Johnny took great pains to maintain the cigar properly.
The char line is just perfect.
An unpleasant bitterness arrives. I shall allow the cigar to rest. Maybe that will help.

I’m watching my readership slip away. When once I had nearly 6,000 hits per day, it is down to barely 2,000. I may not have to delete my web site. Readers will do it for me. Not reviewing current cigars is hurting me.

I have a couple obligations to manufacturers to review their cigars but they need a month or two of humidor time before I can write them.

I said I’d come back for special cigars. But the handful of cigars I thought I’d review are blends that everyone has smoked so I won’t be bringing anything new to the table. I will review them only to listen to my doctors and my wife who say I must continue regardless of how hard it is. It is good for my poor brain. LOL.

So unless my readers help me, the Arturo Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece will be my last review for a few weeks.
I plan to review the following cigars and that’s it:
Bespoke Cigars (3 blends)
Isabela Cigars (3 blends)
Debonaire
Henry Clay Stalk Cut
Hammer and Sickle Hermitage
We the People (Private label made by Willy Herrera)
Recluse Amadeus Habano Reserve
And the Diamond Crown 1895 Julius Ceaser Perfecto (My cousins, the Newman brothers of J.C. Newman sent me a box for my birthday.) A different blend than the original blend.

Allowing the cigar to cool down and rest rids the blend of its bitterness.
Strength is moving past medium body now. Nicotine settles in.

The Arturo Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece is, clearly, a sophisticated cigar.
This stick is so complex that flavors meld into one. The spiciness moves to the front of the line. The blend is mostly nutty and toasty now. Coffee follows. Flavors of sweetness, fruit, graham cracker, floral, and cedar move to the farthest back of the line.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 40 minutes. This is becoming a marathon.

I’ve figured out how I will die. My cat. Anytime I go down the stairs from the second floor or down to the basement, the cat runs at break neck speed to follow me like a dog. But he tries to run between my legs. If I don’t hold on dearly to the handrail, I could have fallen down the stairs dozens of times. Damn cat.
The last third is the best part of the cigar. Flavors are smooth and intense at the same time.
Strength becomes medium/full.

As I am retired, I watch a lot of TV. I love watching the 24/7 news channels. No longer. Nothing is reported on except politics. The rest of the world’s news has vanished. I watch BBC America to find out what is going on.

I’ve been sitting here for over 3 hours now and I’m tired. Another hour to go to get this published. This is why I can no longer review daily. My brain goes splat. And words become very hard to find.
Smoking a 9” cigar is a real commitment.

The burn line has been impeccable the entire time.

Is the Arturo Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece worth nearly $15.00? Sure. Based on the current price points of the new cigars, $15 is no longer crazy. But it’s an investment. You won’t be able to smoke the Arturo Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece anytime soon after buying one. Waiting a year or two is required.

The Arturo Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece finishes very flavorful, very smooth, and very complex.
No harshness or heat. No bitterness.
This was a fun cigar and thanks again to Johnny Piette for the gift.

Stick a fork in me…I’m done. With 1-1/2″ to go, I put the cigar down. I’m wiped out.
Final smoke time is 2 hours 15 miinutes.

RATING: 90

And now for something completely different:

And now, my friends, another story from my rock god past…if you read my reviews, you are rolling your eyeballs right about now as I have told so many stories (And repeated many) about what it’s like to play big time rock n roll…so here’s another.

Normally, Curved Air headlined in all the arenas in England and Europe. But once in a while, we got to be the support act of a giant band of that era…the 1960’s-1970.

For one of those tours, we supported Emerson, Lake and Palmer for 4 gigs.

The first time we did sound check on that bill, I got a wild hair. Keith Emerson had a full sized grand piano that was mechanically fixed so it would do 360 ° roll….with Keith on it. Head over heels.

I asked Keith if I could ride the piano. He laughed and said no one had ever asked to do that in any of the support groups they played with, so I felt honored as I climbed aboard. I guess no one wanted to vomit on his piano.

To my horror, the only way you hang on is with your feet locked underneath a special bar on the bench. Nothing to hold you in place.
The piano began to roll. Slowly at first, and then faster and faster. I grabbed the keyboard like a cat. I was completely disoriented.
Now I’m spinning like crazy and I’m thinking that I am scared for my life and would be jettisoned like a rocket…meanwhile, Keith would play while doing it. ????

After a few minutes, the piano slowed its roll and I was able to get off and then fell flat on my face on the stage from being dizzy.

I asked Keith how in the hell he did that while playing. He laughed. He saw that my face must have been green and took me to the bathroom in the arena, where he helped me to a stall where I threw up.
Each day we played with them, Keith asked me, like clockwork, if I wanted to ride the piano again? All the while laughing while asking. I politely declined.

I had some Cubans that Larry Coryell, the great father of jazz fusion guitar, had given me. And on the last night of playing with them, I asked Keith if he would like to join me for a smoke? His eyes lit up and we retired to his posh hotel room where he allowed no one else in, but me. He ordered some lavish room service and we spent the night eating, drinking and smoking cigars. It doesn’t get much better than that.

And now for something completely different PART 2:

I think it was around 1986 and I was working for a small construction company (Bartec) of maybe 20 people in the office and another 80 in the field. We fabricated and installed structural steel. I was senior project manager. And I had another PM working for me.

I can’t remember names. I am slipping into darkness. Give me an amen. The owner was one of those entrepreneurial guys that not only owned this company, but another dozen possessions included a strip club.
He was Errol Flynn dashing. I wanted to have sex with him…and I’m straight.

He was married to Tippi Hedren (“The Birds”) who considered hubby as an ATM machine. She had an animal preserve somewhere in Orange County that’s main mission was to save lions. Tippi’s license plate said, “ROAR.”

Now of course you know that Melanie Griffith is her daughter. And back in ’86, Melanie was a real looker. She hadn’t married Don Johnson yet, but was married to the actor Steven Bauer…of Al Pacino “Scar Face” fame.

I remember them visiting the shop many times so they could pick up step dad and go to the “Club” for lunch.
I was one of two project managers and was upstairs by ourselves next to the company kitchen…
I remember his name: Luis Barrenechea. We called him Lou.

Anyway, Lou would come upstairs around 2 PM after his lunch with the wife and kids. And he would sit there with a bottle of vodka and get shit faced all afternoon bemoaning his status in life and all the ways that Tippi was draining him of dough. Since there were only two of us up there, he vented like a mother.

One day, we engineers got an assignment. Alfred Hitchcock had made moves on Tippi often, and without success, or so we heard from Tippi.

At the end of the movie, Hitch gave Tippi one of the first portable radios. It was the size of a camping flashlight with a huge battery in it. And it had long ago stopped working.

So me and the other PM, and the purchasing agent, were given the task of figuring out how to replace the long dead battery and make this piece of junk work. We were told it was our number one priority while our projects went to shit.

We spent two solid days on the phone, all 3 of us and we got nowhere. When we saw Tippi in Lou’s office at the end of those 2 days, we talked to her about our fruitless efforts and all we got was a perfunctory, “Boys. You can do better than that. I am counting on you. This was a gift from my dear friend, Alfred Hitchcock, and I want the GODDAMM radio to work. You got me, boys?”

Whoa.

Now we knew why Lou drank himself stupid in the afternoons.

I remember when Melanie visited. She and Steven would be hanging waiting for mom and step pop to get going so they could get the hell outta’ there.

I got the balls one day and introduced myself. Both were very gracious, unlike their mom.

I, of course, bragged about my Curved Air days to them…and they were impressed. The Police was still together and I told my tales of hanging with them at gigs. Which was true.

After that, Steven would come up to engineering and talk to me about rock n roll. This guy really knew his stuff and we had a great time. Work stopped and my boss was thrilled to be a part of it. Melanie would always have to come up and drag him out of engineering but then got caught up in the stories too. We did a lot of laughing that disturbed the worker bees downstairs.

Tippi would then come up and see what the holdup was. She had no interest in rock n roll and since engineering let her down over that stupid radio, she wanted no part of us.

I only worked there for about a year and then moved on to work for my father’s newly opened construction company.

But there was a time when Melanie Griffith thought I was cute and would always give me a kiss and a hug when she left….and a time when Bauer thought I was cool too.
Now, I’m just plain washed up cool. Time marches on.

Wrapper: Connecticut Broadleaf
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Dominican, Nicaraguan
Size: 6 x 54 “Toro”
Body: Full
Price: $15.00 MSRP

Today we take a look at the Debonaire Maduro.
Thanks to a reader, who asked to remain anonymous, for sending me two sticks.
I haven’t tried one yet so it’s a roll of the dice.

BACKGROUND:
Released in 2014.
Regular Production.

From the Ultra Premium Cigars press release:
“Wednesday, January 27, 2016 — Miami, FL – Today, Drew Estate announced their plans to become the Exclusive U.S. Distributor for Debonaire House and Indian Motorcycle Cigars. Both brands are produced in the Dominican Republic under the leadership of Philip S. Zanghi III, a long-time tobacco industry veteran.

Photo courtesy of Cigar Journal:

“Philip Zanghi, founder of Debonaire House, said that, “Our cigars are the culmination of 20 years of personal research, and the final products are what I consider to be some of the finest premium cigars on the market today. This includes the ultra premium Debonaire brand, where I spared no expense to deliver a one-of-a-kind experience. We incorporate the finest, darkest, air cured tobacco from the most superior tobacco crops of Central America and the Dominican Republic.

“The Debonaire Ultra Premium Cigars line includes five regular production sizes including the First Degree (4 x 44), Sagita Petite Lancero (5.5 x 38), Robusto (5.25 x 50), Toro (6 x 54), and Belicosos (6 x 54). All sizes are available in two wrapper configurations, Nicaraguan Habano or Connecticut Broadleaf Maduro. The Indian Motorcycle Cigars line includes four sizes, which includes a Robusto (5 x 50), Toro (6 x 52), Gordo (6 x 58), and Churchill (7 1/2 x 50). All sizes are available in a Habano or Maduro wrapper.”

From the Ultra Premium Debonaire Cigars web site:
“Debonaire Ultra Premium Cigars were intimately developed out of the passion to experience the perfect cigar at the hands of Philip S. Zanghi III, founder of Indian Tabac Cigar Company and Daniel Sinclair, founder of Durfort Holdings.

“Debonaire is the culmination of 20 years of research and development to produce the finest premium cigar on the market today. We incorporate the finest, darkest, air cured tobacco from the most superior tobacco crops of Central America and the Dominican Republic. Our gourmet tobacco is blended to perfection with the highest attention to detail so that the rich history of the past can be savored in the present. With every luxurious Debonaire® Ultra Premium Cigar you can taste the essence of a land steeped in tradition.

“We employ an expert team of tobacconists with a combined experience of over 150 years who leave nothing to chance. We are highly critical of every aspect of production to ensure an exceptional cigar experience. The methods we apply from the hand-chosen seeds, growing, leaf priming, curing, selection of the leaf bunching and rolling clearly showcase our dedication to the artistic craft of first-class cigars. Our mission is to provide connoisseurs with the highest quality cigars by only providing Debonaire to reputable and trusted tobacco merchants, preserving the brand for many years to come.”

Debonaire also makes rum. Check it out.

DESCRIPTION:
This is a gorgeous, rustic in appearance, cigar. A super oily dark coffee bean/baking cocoa wrapper. The color is marbled which makes it even more beautiful. The triple cap is well done on one cigar and a little funky on the other.
Seams are tight. But some of the biggest veins I’ve seen with them bulging like they are on steroids. The wrapper is extremely toothy.
The cigar is packed solid with very little give when depressed.
I love the cigar band; which rarely happens. A classy gold background with white lettering and a horse pulled rum barrel wagon. The words Ultra Premium are at the top of the band.

SIZES AND PRICING:
First Degree: 4 x 44 (Petite Salomon) $7.00
Sagita: 5 1/2 x 38 (Petite Lancero) $9.80
Robusto: 5 1/4 x 50 $13.96
Belicoso: 6 x 54 $15.00
Toro: 6 x 54 $15.00
Above prices from the Debonaire Cigar Store web site.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell a strong floral notes, cherries, spice, citrus, cedar, and dark cocoa.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell very earthy notes, chocolate, coffee, very spicy, hay, barnyard, and cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of chocolate, spice, peppermint, floral notes, citrus, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is good but not a really smoky cigar.
I gently massage the cigar to open it up a bit and it works. A perfect draw but still not a lot of smoke.
First flavors up to bat: Chocolate, black pepper, coffee, generic sweetness, cream, malts, cedar, and a touch of floral notes.
Good start.

I get a slight V burn and correct it. After that, no troubles. I let it sit and cool off and that usually rectifies any burn issue.
Strength is a solid medium+ body.
And just like that, the lack of smokiness reverses itself and I’m enveloped in huge clouds of smoke.
Complexity begins its long journey at the 1” burned point.

This is a big cigar and with it being so fully packed means a very slow smoke and me sitting here all morning. Beats watching The View or CNN and listen to more drek about Trump. I mean, what happened to all the news around the world? All the 24/7 news channels flog a dead horse with the political stature of Donald Trump and meanwhile nothing else is going on in the world? Makes me ill.

There is a slight fruitiness but I can’t discern what it is.

Strangely, I found only two reviews of the Maduro version and just a couple of the Natural version. And this cigar has been out for about 18 months. One review appears to have been written about too soon and the other review is very descriptive. So no cribbing for your Uncle Katman.

The peppermint element raises its head once again giving the blend a cool texture.

I am playing the “Essential Van Morrison” CD. Starts with “Gloria,” Back in 1966, my first band played it at gigs. I bought the first ever bass fuzz on the market. A Vox Distortion Booster. And I found a photo of it.
It was a long rectangular chrome box with a 9 volt battery in it. You plugged it directly into the input of the bass amp. You then plugged the bass in to it.

It only had an On/Off switch. No controls. And of course, it worked when it felt like it. We would do a “Gloria” Freak Out. In the middle of the song, I snap that fuzz on to my Hofner bass and I got all kinds of crazy sounds including lots of feedback. The audiences, especially the Hippie audiences, went nuts. I remember it cost $80 in 1966. A lot of dough.
I remember one gig we had at some big mansion in Long Beach. They put us on a balcony looking over a massive room with ceilings that were 40 feet tall. All the furniture had been removed. They had all types of lighting effects but every now and then they used a strobe light. If you ever want to find a way to vomit in less than one minute, go into a room with a strobe. It threw my bass playing off and I got very dizzy. In fact, it had the same effect with the rest of the band. We were guitar, bass, drums and a vocalist.

The flavor profile of the Debonaire Maduro is opening like a blooming rose. Or is that a blooming onion? No. A flower.
Early on, the flavor profile was narrow. Like a two lane highway. Now it is an 8 lane freeway. Like Moe would say, “Spread out!”
The complexity is here to stay. Balance is near perfect. The finish is medium long.

This is a very meaty cigar. Like a steak from Ruth’s Chris.
The black pepper moves to the front of the line and the whole thing explodes. A nice sweet caramel component is added.
Here are the malts: Chocolate Rye Malt, Coffee Malt, Cara Munich Malt, and Honey Malt. (See Malt Chart).
Sweet golden raisins is the fruitiness.

I’m very impressed with the Debonaire Maduro. For $15, I should be. I did find it for a bit less at some online stores: Two Guys Smoke Shop, Cigar Federation, and that’s it. And neither of the stores sell it for more than a buck less than the MSRP of $15.
The Debonaire Maduro must be old school style of blending needing extensive humidor aging. The reader that sent me the sticks didn’t say how long he had them. Both were in cellos. I’ve had them several weeks. I suspect there is more to this cigar that several months of rest would accomplish.
Still, it reeks of high premium blend.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 40 minutes.
Reading about the history of the company and the blending of the cigar, I understand its price point. It is most definitely an old school blend. I will save my other stick and come back to this review in a few months to report on the changes.
The balance is truly outstanding now. The finish is a mile long.

If you’ve read any of my reviews lately, you’ve seen the note in which I beg for cigars. I’m asking for help. And not just from the regulars who always come to my aid. I need other readers to step up to help your Uncle Katman. My meds are out of the park. I just want cigars to smoke. But please, regardless of how big your heart is, no Quorums or other $1 cigars. Remember I have a great palate and I can’t smoke to just smoke. I need some flavor. I know this shows an enormous amount of hubris for asking what types of cigars I want. But I don’t want you to waste cigars on me. Take a gander at my Top 25 Cigars for 2015 and you will see my taste in cigars. It doesn’t have to be any of those blends but you will get the idea of what I like.
Some cigars for review would also be nice. My address is posted on the right side of the page.

OK. Enough self-humiliation. Back to the Debonaire Maduro.
The more I smoke, the better the blend becomes. More complex.
I would love to have a box of these if I were a rich man. “Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum. All day long I’d biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man.”

There are deep, deep layers of flavors. With 3-3/4” to go, I believe I now taste the blender’s intent.
It is warm and cozy with big doses of creaminess, malts, and chocolate. The chocolate has notes of truffle, honeycomb, and pecans.
I’ve reviewed $15 cigars. None had the depth of character that the Debonaire Maduro has. This is truly a treat for all of my senses.
Considering that the current price points on really good blends averages around $12, a $15 blend isn’t crazy.
The sun came out and I’m getting some nice photos. Makes me happy.

I’m at the halfway point. Smoke time is one hour 10 minutes.
A slow luxurious smoke.
I remove the cigar band and see on the backside: 19 Feb 16.
I have no idea what that means. As this was a 2014 release, is it an expiration date? LOL.

I’ve had the cigar longer than 6 days so it can’t be when it was produced. Hopefully, the folks at Ultra Premium can explain in a comment or email.

I look at past reviews for $15 cigars: Perfecto by Pierson Geoffreys Cigars, Vintage 1967 by Pierson Geoffreys Cigars, Sosa Limitado Stout Torpedo, Fuente Hemingway Masterpiece, Padrón Dámaso No. 17, San Cristobal Ovation, Ave Maria Divinia, Viaje Skull and Bones Ten Ton Tess, Aging Room Bin No.1, and Liga Privada T52…and on and on it goes.
At this point in the Debonaire Maduro, I’d have to make a bold statement saying that this blend is better than those listed above.
Very smooth medium/full body.

Charlotte and I have another appointment to look at a new inexpensive apartment this afternoon. We’ve been looking for weeks and it is stressing these old folks out something terrible. So much false advertising on the apartment guide online sites.
Fingers crossed that the one today is the one.

We sleep in separate bedrooms because the noise my CPAP machine makes. I have sleep apnea. The noise keeps her awake. Plus she snores. Something that seems to happen to most old people.
We can’t afford a 3 bedroom so a 2 bedroom it is. Meaning I will have to put my big over stuffed man cave chair in my bedroom and smoke there. I will go nuts.

Here is the current list of flavors: Malts, chocolate variations, creaminess, coffee, floral notes, black pepper, citrus, raisins, cedar, caramel, meaty, nutty, toasty.

I love this cigar. I highly recommend that if you purchase some, make it the first cigar of the day when your palate is fresh so you are able to taste the complexity and nuances.
Clearly, the best $15 cigar I’ve smoked. Is it worth $14-$15 for this size? Absolutely. Plus, there are four other sizes at various prices.

Charlotte works at Buddy Squirrel. She brought home some sugar free chocolates yesterday. They go for around $32 per lb. They have the most decadent chocolates and nut goods on the planet and is a Wisconsin based company that sells their wares online.
They sell all sorts of popcorn. I love their plain popcorn because they use peanut oil only. What flavor!

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 35 minutes.
I normally avoid big cigars like this but time is flying by.
Strength hits a very smooth full body.

Construction has been excellent. Only minor burn line issues.
The frigid weather has affected my cigars. We keep the heat very low because this piece of crap duplex has lousy insulation. Because our utility bills are outrageous.
Second disc of the Van Morrison album begins. I would love to see him live. I’ve seen him live on TV in concert and he has a killer band.

The last third is just unbelievable. The complexity washes over me like a warm blankey.
I’m not going to use the words flavor bomb that so many cigar forum members make fun of me for over using that term. But that’s what it is. I can’t help if those dumb asses don’t have my palate.

Any time my name is mentioned, it shows up in the site stats of the blog’s dashboard and I can go visit to see what they said.
With a couple more months rest, this will be a monster blend of the highest standards.

I think it rivals my No.1 cigar from my Top 25 list: Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Sobremesa. A completely different blend and flavors but I would put the Debonaire Maduro at No.1 if I could. But it is a 2014 blend. So I can’t.
By far, the smoothest full body cigar I’ve ever smoked.
Kudos to Philip Zanghi. A true master. Now I’m curious about the Debonaire Natural and Indian Motorcyle blend. The latter are under $10.00.
The Debonaire Maduro finishes beautifully. Not a lick of harshness, heat or bitterness.
And NO nicotine! Woo Hoo!
I know it ain’t cheap but I highly recommend the Debonaire Maduro.
Final smoke time is two hours 15 minutes.

RATING: 96

And now for something completely different:

We lived in Mesa, Arizona from 1990-2000. We had to move because California suffered its 10 year recession and construction went into the toilet. I had found a nice job with a good boss as a structural draftsman from 1986-2000. No stress like project managing and good money.

All I had to was draw. And hone my math skills in geometry and trigonometry.
Charlotte’s evil mother lives in a small town west of Phoenix. We stayed there a few weeks until we found our own apartment. Katie was 4.

BTW- draftsmen who worked in construction are called Detailers.

I got a gig over the phone while still in Ca and the money was good but it was an hour’s drive from the mother’s place.
Turned out the guy was a skeez. He paid me $3 less than promised and there was nothing I could do about it.
There were two offices and he gave his lead detailers those offices. The boss worked at a drafting table at the front of the office.

He was a little Napoleonic man who was good looking, married, and a serial cheater. He would bring skanks in and screw them in one of the offices on the guy’s drafting table.
How would you like to go back to work after that?

It was in 1995, I joined a band called The Todd Hart Band. Power blues trio. I had played a few years in another good blues band but the guitarist/vocalist sounded too white. But we worked a lot.

Todd had spent time as vocalist (1985) in the legendary English blues band, Savoy Brown. He had an incredible voice.
We played out all the time. Todd only did music for a living. I played down how much dough I made as a project manager. I will tell you how this went south on me in a minute.
So, he split the money made three ways evenly. Usually $150+ per man; or more.
We had this very strange gig playing at a Women’s Faire. It was staged at the Phoenix Civic Center.
You can guess from the name what it was all about.

They had a very nice stage and we looked very professional.
We didn’t mingle. We stood on the side of the stage drinking beers in the middle of the afternoon.

The prime speaker was Ivana Trump. Just after divorcing Donald. The woman must have been worth gazillions.
She arrived in the side door with the chauffeur driver who was made to carry her purse.
And that’s it. No body guards. No other friends. Just Ivana.
We thought that very strange and very dangerous for her.

She let the head of the convention know she was there and then came back and stood next to the stage with the band…and the timid chauffeur. Couldn’t have protected her if he tried.
Meanwhile, I had my Arizona CCW license and I always carried my .45 cal Glock 30 subcompact in a holster in the small of my back. I wore a pseudo Blues Brothers black coat to hide it.
Now here I am…standing next to one of the richest and most influential women in America with a hidden gun on me.
Todd couldn’t stop laughing.

I could have taken her hostage and then been killed in a hail of bullets by SWAT.

We talked to her for a bit but I couldn’t understand a word she said.
She got up to speak and I still couldn’t understand her and I don’t think the women in the hall could either.
She finished and we played a couple of sets, packed up and went home.

The beginning of the end…Charlotte and I were invited to Todd’s for dinner. He had a live in girlfriend. Very nice girl.
For a change, Charlotte drank too much wine and I have no idea how this came up but I heard her tell Todd in the kitchen how much money I made at my job. Todd turned around and his face went pale.

From that point forward, all of our gigs only paid a total of $150. $50 per man. Of course, he was lying because he figured I didn’t need the money and didn’t deserve an equal share.
I put up with his lying for another month or two.

I remember screaming at Charlotte on the drive home asking her did she know what she just did? She pooh poohed it. But I knew Todd and he would never pay me what I was due again.
And of course that was true.

So I quit the band. Todd had a hanger-on that was this big muscle bound bassist that was only into heavy metal and played like he was on stage at Madison Square Garden playing bass for Metallica.

He couldn’t play blues to save his life but he was available and Todd didn’t care. He had no morality or character. He just wanted to pocket the dough and preen around between sets trying to get chicks in the clubs to admire him and sometimes take him into the bathroom and blow him.

He showed up at all our gigs and gave me the stink eye while I played. He felt I was an inferior player and didn’t deserve my position in the band. I’d say hello between sets and he just ignored me.

A week after I quit, I went to Todd’s place and he was waiting; sitting on the front patio behind 7 foot tall wrought iron fence and gate. I grabbed the latch and it was locked.

He sat at a patio table waving my $50 telling me I’d never get it. Todd was very fit and could probably kick my ass. Yet he felt the need to lock the gate so I couldn’t get near.

He began to go off on me for leaving the band and I just walked away back to my car with my middle finger in the air. He could keep his $50. The pussy.

I’m constantly being challenged for having a sophisticated palate.
I find myself totally amused by these critics.

Cigar forums love to trash me. They say it is not possible to taste all the flavors that I recognize from a cigar blend.
You want to know what that really means? It means that the person, who pish poshes my palate, has no palate. And never will. Because they show no interest in learning.

They can only taste 2-3 flavors, at best. Or maybe they can’t discern any flavors. And probably smoke as many 5 Vegas Golds as they smoke their Quorums.

Here is the deal. First, I’ve been smoking cigars for nearly 50 years. That’s longer than 95% or my critics have been alive. Normally, it is the youngsters that make fun of me. At my age, anyone under 50 is a youngster.

Second, what these boneheads don’t understand is that just like learning any artistic discipline; you start out a novice and later, with diligence, become a journeyman.
It takes time and focus. And intense concentration.

What better way to achieve those things than write a daily review, every single day of the year, going back over 7 years. I wrote cigar reviews on Open Salon.com but the blog was deleted because I didn’t maintain it. I wrote thousands of reviews on Open Salon but it was very constrictive on what I could do as far as photos. So I changed to the more flexible WordPress.com in 2012.

The other major factor, for being able to taste the most subtle nuances of a cigar blend, is it should be your first cigar of the day…With no encumbrances of it being your 3rd or 8th cigar of the day and how crispy your palate becomes.

When I smoke a cigar for pleasure, I don’t dissect it the way I do when I write about it.

I’m not saying experiencing what I taste is easy. It isn’t. But look at the years I’ve put in. I didn’t, all of a sudden, find myself tasting flavor components that no other cigar smoker could taste. It took a long time to analyze a blend and what it had to offer.

I get a ton of emails telling me, that by following my review, they’ve been able to determine those exact same flavors.
And then there is the other aspect…the bonehead who says “I know what I like and I know what I don’t like. I don’t care about the flavors.”

It’s those folks that, in their lack of taking cigar smoking seriously, that accuse me of being full of shit. And it isn’t just me. The best reviewers taste very similar elements.

Read Cigar Aficionado. Read the cigar ratings. I am flummoxed at some of the flavors they report. This makes me feel very humble about my own palate.

So like the piano professor, walking down the streets of NYC, said when asked how do you get to Carnegie Hall?
“Practice, Practice, Practice.”

For those really interested in expanding your palate, read me or any other reviewer with a good palate, and learn, learn, learn.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Wrapper: Dark Connecticut Broadleaf Vintage 2012
Binder: Dominican Piloto Vintage 2010
Filler: Dominican Olor Vintage 2012, Dominican Piloto Vintage 2012, Nicaraguan Criollo Vintage 2013
Size: 5 x 50 “Robusto – Box Pressed”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $8.25 MSRP

Today we take a look at the Henry Clay Stalk Cut.
Please forgive me but I forgot who sent me this cigar. Contact me and I will remedy this lack of memory.

BACKGROUND:
Factory: Tabacalera de Garcia
Regular Production.
Altadis USA has this special blending team called Grupo de Maestros. It was they who blended this cigar.
From the Altadis USA web site:
“Stalk Cut (stawk-kuht); Verb (Used with Object – A tobacco harvesting method in which the entire stalk is cut and removed from the soil, then hung to dry in the tobacco barns. Used for the Henry Clay Stalk Cut Cigar, this method allows the tobacco to retain its natural oils, sap and nutrients to yield richer, more oily and flavorful leaves.”
Pete Johnson was involved in the first Henry Clay Tattoo but not this time around.

DESCRIPTION:
This is a gorgeous cigar. A near immaculate box press. The wrapper is very oily and the color of pecan and gingerbread. There is a slight tooth that may only show up in photo close ups.
The seams are perfect and add a geometric beauty. Almost no veins except for a large one running down the length of the cigar on the back side.
The triple cap is flawless. The Henry Clay Stalk Cut tops it off with a very nice looking closed foot. Nice to look at but whenever I light a closed foot, its fireworks time as tobacco bits fly everywhere like fireflies.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Gran Corona (w/Pig Tail): 6 x 46 $8.00 MSRP
Robusto: 5 x 50 $8.25 MSRP
Toro: 6 x 54 $8.50 MSRP

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell cane sugar, caramel, creamy butter, shortbread, and spice.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell gingerbread cookies, very strong red pepper that obliterates any other aromas, and fresh cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of gingerbread cookies, hot red pepper, caramel, butter cream, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
I clip the closed foot off in order to avoid disaster when I light up.
I smoked the original Henry Clay Tattoo and wasn’t that impressed. But then I feel Pete Johnson runs hot and cold. Especially since he relies on Pepin Garcia most of the time.
Already, only 2 minutes in, I like this cigar.

I don’t like box pressed cigars. They are a pain to keep from running and canoeing. I did an experiment and read the top reviewers on any box pressed cigar they reviewed and almost every single one complained about burn issues with box pressed sticks. There is something inherent to the design and rolling that keeps the box press from burning at top notch levels.
Strength is medium body.

BTW- We found a place to live last Friday, the 26th. Only 10-15 minutes from our daughter’s place. This makes Charlotte happy as we were looking all over God’s creation.
Nice, but small, apartment. This will be like being 20 years old all over again.

The Henry Clay Stalk Cut flavors: Spice, creaminess, Asian spices, brown gravy, cedar, and coffee. Odd but true.

I read the page on the Altadis USA site about the Henry Clay Stalk Cut. While it is very descriptive about the leaf stats, it says nothing about the flavors. That is very odd. Most manufacturers are proud of their blends and like to describe the wonderful flavors you will taste. Not on this web site. All it says is: “Bold, robust and exceptional flavor notes.”
Not much to go on as far as expectations.

This is a slow smoke. Packed to the gills with tobacco. The char line is a bit wavy but nothing to be concerned about. The flavors begin to fade on me.

I’ve had the cigar close to a month at the most as the cigars only came out in January.
Might this blend be Old School?

A fruity sweetness appears out of nowhere. The spiciness which really attracted me at the start, has all but disappeared. Clearly, this is an Old School blend. (And if you don’t know what that is. Or the term New Breed. Read “My Palate.”)
It appears I must endure the first third of the cigar to get to the meat of the flavor profile somewhere around the halfway point.

As I near the end of the first third, the Henry Clay Stalk Cut is doing nothing for me. I just may have stumbled upon a cigar that needs 6 months of humidor time..or..it ain’t very good. There are very few reviews of this cigar. In fact, I only found 4.

Then a little curtain opens and reveals some interesting notes.

Flavors to this point: Black pepper, rich earthiness, nuts, creaminess, cedar, sweetness, and shortbread cookies.
A touch of complexity reveals itself. The balance gets better with each puff. But the finish isn’t very long.
The spiciness really surprised me. It went from red to black pepper. And then it disappeared only to rise from the ashes like the fiery Phoenix as, once again, very spicy and leading the pack.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 25 minutes.
Unlike most box pressed cigars, the char line has behaved itself nicely. No touch ups required.
As the complexity gets stronger, more elusive flavors come to the fold. Some are fruity in their sweetness; others are subtle and difficult to define.

You can see the toothiness in the top part of the cigar in the photo below:

Sophistication begins to come forth now. Flavor bomb? No. But a rich earthiness that permeates the flavor profile. I think it has a very Cubanesque quality about it.
I find it very difficult to describe good Cubans. As I’m not used to smoking them, the Cuban soil imparts a special flavor that I find hard to put into words.

Strength is medium/full.

I’m truly digging the Henry Clay Stalk Cut now.
I can taste some malt now: Aromatic Malt, Cara Vienna Malt, and Flaked Rye Malt. (See Malt Chart).

Black cherries finalize the question of the fruity sweetness.
The Henry Clay Stalk Cut is not a cigar of many flavors. Not a kitchen sink blend.
Instead, it appeals to the experienced smoker who can discern hard to describe flavors.
It is a flavor profile made up of nuance and subtleties. Not a flavor bomb.

The halfway point is here. Smoke time is 40 minutes.
The char line needs its first major tune up.

My Magellan GPS finally bit the bodine. A choda chomper. Luckily, I had a 3 year Square Trade warranty and would have been up in a few months. They reimbursed me and I bought a new one on Amazon. But it wasn’t a Prime item so the shipping is taking 10 days. Will get it this Thursday. So I’ve been trapped like a rat at home. I don’t dare go anywhere because I can’t find my way home. I am totally dependent on a GPS to get around. I no longer recognize landmarks or street names.

Now the Henry Clay Stalk Cut is cooking. This is what the stick will taste like in a few months. So my prediction was spot on that the flavors would exhibit some oomph at the start of the second half.
There is a very meaty element. Charred steak. This blend is much better than the Pete Johnson blend.
The creaminess moves to the front of the line bumping black pepper to second place. The caramel flavor is now very strong. So are the black cherries and the very rich earthiness.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour.
Strength hits full body. And it brings nicotine to the blend.

The price is really $7.45 by the box. And $8.00 by the 5 pack. Cbid has a box of Robustos going for $58.00 and ends tonight. This brings the price down to a probable $3-$4 per stick. I would most definitely get in on that. And they have a box of Toros that ends on Wednesday currently going for $37.00.

I believe that so little has been written about this that now is the time to get in on it because very soon, all of the big reviewers will be writing about it and getting it cheap will disappear.

The first third was blah. But from the halfway point forward, this has been a very nice cigar experience.
The cigar finishes very complex with a nice balance. And completes the picture with a long, chewy finish.
It doesn’t get hot or bitter. And the nicotine is bearable. It is smooth and full of subtleties.
I definitely recommend this cigar with the caveat that you allow it to rest a couple months before tying one.
Final smoke time is one hour 15 minutes.

RATING: 90

And now for something completely different:

I had lost everything due to the Eddie Munster project, and an embezzling partner at the recording studio, and got out of town by managing a very good four piece band called “The Kind.” If I had a dollar for every band in the US that called itself that, I’d be a rich man.

The band (who were based in Tahoe) came down to So Cal where I met them. In fact, the leader was an old high school buddy. They had a great sound and did songs from Peter Gabriel to the Charlie Daniels Band. That’s because the leader played guitar and electric violin. A bass player of course. A good drummer. And a keys player that could get any sound he wanted out of that thing. And they sang like birds in harmony. So rare for a four piece band to all be good singers.

So a big prank, by the boys in the band, was planned. We had settled into our digs in Tahoe. A big house owned by the band leader’s wife’s parents. Big woodsy cabin with 4 bedrooms, big kitchen, spa, and surrounded by giant trees. The perfect place to smoke a doob while watching the sun go down.

I did a lot of hiking around the trails of Tahoe to keep busy. I was miserable. I had worked 15 hour days 7 days a week for years on my musical projects and now I didn’t know what to do with myself. I found the perfect perch that overlooked the giant lake. It took me a good hour to hike there and I never had to share the silence with anyone else. I’d bring a note book for things that came to my head and a doob or two.

The band played out all the time, not just weekends. Very popular band.
This is where Charlotte comes in….

She ran the bar at one of the better clubs. This woman, I was told, had a master’s in psychology from Goethe-Universität, Frankfurt and she never used it.

Her father was a well-known psychiatrist in Fulda, Germany. He even had his own clinic for children.
Charlotte got married right out of college to a German cop. But a year later, he was killed in the line of duty.
She had too much empathy, it seems, and only did the psychology thing because she was pushed into it by her father’s bidding.

After her husband died, she chucked her education and became a flight attendant for Lufthansa. By the time she was 27 she got her green card and made the US her home.

I was already dating a bevy of beauties in Tahoe. No shortage of good looking young women attracted by musicians.
Everyone in the band wanted to be matchmakers for me.

There we were…sitting in a booth downstairs where the band was to play that night. It looked like a cave and held about 300 people.
We were exhausted from humping the gear. So we took a beer break. We sat in one of those huge half round booths that sit 8 or 9 people.

In walks Charlotte. She pushes the guys over to make room and sits down with us. Everyone yelled out her name. She liked The Kind was glad to see them.
I was introduced. And boy, I was impressed.

I never held back that I was a Jew. But before the subject would come up, my band mates volunteered that for me. Charlotte said nothing and just casually took a puff from her cigarette looking very much like a 1930’s movie star.

Charlotte was not only a German but a Catholic as well. They thought this was very funny and wanted to see how I would react to this.
I discovered that Charlotte holds court where ever she is. This was not a shy, sweet, demure woman.
She cursed like a teamster. Every other phrase was: “What the fuck!” Except with her German accent, it came out like: “Wad da’ fock!”

I was told, later, that I sat there quietly with my jaw hanging open. Never heard a woman swear like that.

To this day, we argue about who asked who out but, really, she asked me out a few weeks later.
I had just met this nice Jewish princess who lived in the very upscale Carmel-by-the-Sea. She was rich, good looking… and rich. I had gone out with her and loved that she was rich. And a spoiled brat. But I was inebriated with Charlotte.

Back to the club…
After an hour, Charlotte split.

And the table broke out into laughter.

I had to break our first date because the band was going into the recording studio. And I was producing.

We got together a few days later and since she knew Tahoe, she took me out to a fancy Swiss restaurant serving great German food. Also, very expensive. She had to pay for everything as I was broke. The Eddie Munster project decimated me.
The Kind played out for around $500 a night. I got $100. And they played maybe 3-4 times per week. So I was living on $300-$400 per week.

At dinner, Charlotte ordered a bottle of wine. I didn’t tell her I didn’t drink but I did so to impress her. I got so schnockered I could barely stand or see straight.

Afterwards, she took me to Harrah’s Casino on the north shore. In Nevada.
The all black band, The Bus Boys, was playing. I knew them. We had recorded in the same recording studio in West Hollywood for months.
So here was my chance to impress her.

During their break, I grabbed her and went on stage to re-introduce myself.
They had no idea who I was. I had to run by them a list of names until they said, “Oh yeah, we remember.” I think they were just being polite.

I was so embarrassed. I actually had jammed with them and done some recording on their tunes and they couldn’t remember me. Of course, they could have been high at the club and that might be the reason they didn’t remember me. Yeah, that’s the reason. Sigh.

We stayed in Tahoe from May until September. I got bored living like a pauper and The Kind had begun to no longer interest me.
I convinced Charlotte to come back to Long Beach with me.

I was so bored with the band. They wouldn’t listen to me. I was their manager with light years more experience…So frustrating. So, I jettisoned them.

We packed up everything into my Nissan Maxima station wagon and headed south.
I swallowed my pride and asked my father for a job at his structural steel fab shop. I had experience so I was made a project manager. I was a structural engineer but never used those tools for design. Instead, I project managed big steel projects. More exciting than sitting in a room working on equations.

Charlotte and I were poor. We got a bachelor/studio apartment. You know..no bedroom.
And while we lived there, we got married on February 8, 1985.

We were so poor that we had our wedding in the clerk’s office in Indio, CA. My dad lived in Palm Springs but we had to go to the county seat in Indio to get married by a justice of the peace. The office had a large window that stretched the entire length of the office. They were fresh out of courtrooms to do this in.

On the other side, was a line of people paying their tickets….all watching. For our honeymoon, we stayed in a condo my dad owned in Palm Springs. And we were thrown a party. Pretty pathetic.
We had hoped to renew our vows and do it the right way but could never afford to do so.

So I don’t know who the last laugh was on; but that was 31 years ago this month.
Time really flies.
11 months after being betrothed, Charlotte gave birth to Katie. Our one and only child.
It’s been a long road. There have been ups and downs but it is a real marriage. Companions for life.

Charlotte in 1984:

Wrapper: Honduran (Corojo)
Binder: Nicaraguan, Honduran (Double Binder)
Filler: Nicaraguan, Honduran
Size: 5 x 52 “Robusto – Box Pressed”
Body: Medium-Full
Price: $8.00 MSRP ($6.00 @ Small Batch Cigar minus 40% promo code=ALECBRADLEY= $3.60) And free shipping! (Note: The announcement of the special is no longer up. But Andrew told me if you use the promo code of ALECBRADLEY at checkout, you will get your 40% off).

Today we take a look at the Alec Bradley Post Embargo.
Two reasons I’m writing after only a short break. I smoked one the day after I got it and it was great. I assume I was getting that fresh rolled flavor and I didn’t want to lose it and then need to wait a month or two before the flavor returned.
The other reason is that Small Batch currently has a sale on all AB cigars. 40% off. Free shipping. A 5 pack is $30 instead of $35 which everyone else charges. So I paid $18.00 for my 5 pack and that’s it. And the wife approved.

BACKGROUND:
The cigar was released mid-December, 2015.
Factory: Fabrica de Tabacos Raices Cubanas S. de R.L (Honduras)

From Cigar Aficionado:
“First previewed at the 2015 IPCPR trade show in New Orleans, the cigars were presented in a large, wooden shipping crate with bold, eye-catching artwork on the band that appeared to represent the marriage of the Cuban and American flags. At the show, Rubin indicated that the band and packaging were not finalized and would likely change before Post Embargo’s official release. The cigar’s artwork has now been overhauled, and features two women (one from Cuba, one from the U.S.) draped in their country’s respective flags, clasping hands.

“I welcome the dropping of the embargo,” Rubin said. “I hear the term ‘non-Cuban cigars’ and it bothers me. It’s as if Cubans are the benchmark and everything else is second-rate. When the embargo ends, we’ll all be on a level playing field, and I’ll be able to compete with Cuban brands. I want people to smoke my cigars next to Cuban cigars. That’s what Post Embargo is really about—open trade and a level playing field where the smoker can make his choice without being influenced by the mystique of the unattainable.”

“Naturally, the change caused a delay in the release date, but Alec Bradley Post Embargo will start reaching retailers this month and is slated to launch on November 11 at a series of events at Cigar Cigars, a chain of cigar retail stores located throughout Pennsylvania.

“Post Embargo features a Honduran wrapper, two binders from Nicaragua and Honduras, and a filler blend of Nicaraguan and Honduran tobacco. The line will have suggested retail prices from $8 to $9.25. There are four sizes: Robusto, at 5 inches by 52 ring gauge; Toro, 6 1/4 by 54; Gordo, 6 by 60; and a limited-edition Lancero, at 7 1/2 by 41. Only 1,000 boxes of each size have been produced, with the exception of Lancero, with only 500 boxes. The cigars ship in boxes of 20 and are made at Fabrica de Tabacos Raices Cubanas S. de R.L., in Honduras.”

DESCRIPTION:
Nice looking cigar. Smooth as silk in the hand. A milk chocolate colored wrapper. Nearly invisible seams. Almost no veins. Very close to being a crisp box press.
A flawless, seamless triple cap.
And the two flags: American and Cuban. Beautiful cigar band.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Robusto 5 x 52 $8.00 MSRP
Toro 6.25 x 54 $8.25 MSRP
Gordo 6 x 60 $9.25 MSRP
Lancero 7.5 x 41 $8.50 MSRP

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell sweet honeysuckle, dried fruit, chocolate, coffee, licorice, red pepper, and cedar.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell a green vegetal note, chocolate, coffee, strong red pepper, sweetness, golden raisins, cedar, and malt.
The cold draw presents flavors of chocolate, raisins, sweetness, spiciness, coffee, cedar, and cream.

FIRST THIRD:
Right off the bat, my palate is assaulted by a boat load of flavor: Milk chocolate, red pepper, caramel, creaminess, coffee, black licorice, cinnamon, and cedar.

I really dislike box pressed cigars. They are such a pain to light correctly and almost impossible not to have minor runs. Gotta keep an eye on them at the start or they head for the hills. (As it turned out, this must be the first box press that I had zero issues with. Now that’s some great rolling.)

Did you know that CI requires most of their manufacturers to make a 5 x 55 box press for them exclusively? The 55 ring gauge may vary a bit but you get the idea. Just a foot note and actually has nothing to do with this cigar. (Dementia moment.)

Smoke pours from the foot like a house afire.
Within just a couple of minutes, the Alec Bradley Post Embargo finds its complexity.

The malts are a big part of the flavor profile. The usual suspects you’ve read described in prior reviews.

This stick has that same kind of panache that the best Ezra Zion cigars have. In fact, it reminds me of the Blessed Leaf Doxology and the All My Ex’s. Very creamy and malty with the right touch of spice.

Strength is medium+ body.
And then Bang! With only 1” smoked, the cigar blossoms big time. (I’m not going to say those two words…you know what I mean).
Like Moe said, “Spread out!” Flavors are black licorice, cinnamon, red pepper, chocolate, creaminess, coffee, cedar, caramel, cedar, floral notes, and heavy on the malts.
Delicious cigar.

I can say with all the boldness of a bull fighter being gored in the ‘nads that this cigar is every bit as good as the Blessed Leaf Doxology by Ezra Zion. So if you missed out on that 2 day sale, you can get a really good approximation of that blend with the Alec Bradley Post Embargo for the same price. Actually, the $8.00 is MSRP but they really go for $7.00 on most online stores. Or you can wait til it hits Cbid.

The hot pepper moves to the front of the line. I’m a spice junkie. I can’t really truly enjoy a cigar unless it’s spicy. One of the reasons that I like the 601 Series blends. All pepper bombs thanks to Pepin Garcia. I prefer the early blends to the My Father blends: 601, Cuban Classic Black, Serie JJ, La Duena, and La Aroma de Cuba. But I particularly like the 601 Blue and Red. Great cigars.
Strength is medium/full.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is around 20 minutes or so.
Damn complex. Nice balance. Lovely long finish.

I believe I prefer the Alec Bradley Post Embargo to the Doxology. One reason is that the Doxology loses its spiciness quickly. The Post Embargo doesn’t and gets stronger the more you smoke.
And the great part is you don’t have to quickly find the dough to buy a limited edition of such minor proportions that 1000 cigars don’t last on sale for more than 2-3 days. I’m talking about most Ezra Zion releases.

At this rate, I will score the Alec Bradley Post Embargo the same as the EZ Doxology. It’s that good.
To demonstrate the greatness of this cigar, this could be your last cigar of the evening and it still breaks on through and hits your palate and presents all the flavors as if it was your first cigar of the day. Although, I highly recommend that the Alec Bradley Post Embargo is the first choice of your day.

I’m getting a tasty salty pretzel element now. Flavors are perfectly balanced. Strength hits full body.
The creaminess and the malts are a match made in heaven. The chocolate and coffee are a perfect conglomeration. The black licorice is a nice quirky flavor.

The caramel and honeysuckle work like a team.
I reach the halfway point. Smoke time is 40 minutes. For some reason, it slowed down. The packing of the filler may be a little off kilter. That’s OK Alec Bradley Post Embargo…you slow down all you want.

There are other flavors that elude me. Off the top of my head, I’m guessing marzipan, meaty, a touch of Worcestershire sauce because of the barley malt vinegar, sweetness, salt, tamarind extract, and garlic flavors. I know that is strange and it just gives fodder to my detractors that like to make fun of my palate but I taste what I taste. Period.
The dreaded nicotine shows itself.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 5 minutes.
Damnation! What a fine cigar. I don’t know the exact details of how the Alec Bradley Post Embargo was blended but it is a quantum leap for the company. It has New Breed-blending-style written all over it.

The other reviewers don’t do this cigar justice. It is better than the Doxology. What it does is take that flavor profile and then pile on more complexity to make a better Doxology.
Man, a box of these must be on your wish list.

Flavors don’t let up. The complexity becomes more intense with each puff. The finish lasts forever. It coats my teeth like toothpaste.
I fully realize I am going to be lambasted for my opinion. But I don’t care. If you snag some, smoke your first one the day after you receive them. And then try to stop smoking one after another.
I noticed that Andrew of SBC took down the announcement for this special on all their A/B blends. I contacted him and he got right back to me. The promo code is still good.

Snagging this Robusto cigar for $3.60 is crazy.
I called Charlotte and asked if I could buy a 5 pack? Our medical bills are so high I can’t afford to pick up my meds waiting at the pharmacy. Who needs meds when you can have a 5 pack of Post Embargo? And besides, this time I got the bigger Toro and it still only cost $20. Won’t make a dent in our budget. But it will be the last time I spend any money on cigars.
So you get a better Doxology Toro for only $4.00 instead of $9.00 for a 5 pack of Doxology which you can no longer purchase.

Stock up on these. Andrew only has 11 five packs of the Gordos, 34 five packs of the Lancero, 30 five packs of the Robusto, and 15 five packs of the Toro. Believe me, once I publish this review, they will be long gone.

The Alec Bradley Post Embargo doesn’t stop climbing the complexity tree. Like a squirrel, it just climbs and climbs.
Strength is muy full bodied.
I love this cigar. You will too.

The Alec Bradley Post Embargo finishes clean, no heat, no bitterness, and firm to the touch.
Better act fast. Go to Small Batch Cigar.
Final smoke time is one hour 20 minutes.

Thanks go out to Sam C., Jeremy Schaeffer, and Christoffer Schumann. Thank you brothers.

RATING: 95

And now for something completely different:
My downfall as the fixer….Farewell Curved Air.

From far left: Me, Mick Jacques, Darryl Way, Stewart Copeland, and in front: Sonja Kristina:

The band had finished its second album, at the legendary Island Studio in London…and since Miles Copeland was a cheap bastard, he picked an untried producer to ride herd on the biggest egos on the planet in the studio.
Now the guy had a distinguished career as an engineer, but nothing as a producer. And the band ran all over him.. Once, he was almost brought to tears because Darryl Way, the band leader and violinist and keys player yelled at him….because Darryl wasn’t getting his way.

The old Island Studios:

I was the mediator of the group and we all know what happens to that guy. And it did.
Two camps sprung up…Mick, the guitarist, and Darryl. Then there was Sonja, the singer, and Stewart Copeland, the drummer. I was in between trying to make the peace.

Stew was a very good drummer but had no constraints. He was like Keith Moon and just soloed away during every song. He didn’t have any of the restraint that he learned during his days in The Police.

On stage, this was torture, because while Darryl and Mick were upfront trading lead riffs, Stewart was on some other planet soloing in all sorts of weird time signatures causing the boys up front to lose where “1” was.

Which forced me hit quarter notes, hard and heavy, so they would know where they were. Quarter notes means 1-2-3-4. The backbone of rock n roll. The boys stood front and center of the stage while they traded riffs. But because they didn’t know where 1 was, I had to mosey over and yell out the 1-2-3-4 count so they knew where they were. All the time, hitting those miserable quarter notes…instead of playing what the song expected.

It made me crazy to be an accomplished bassist playing quarter notes while Stew behaved like he was the star of the band. And this band was a progressive one with lots of intricate chordal changes. Not a 1-4-5 blues band.

During the end of the recording of the album, Jose Feliciano showed up for a couple nights and added his own style to our English progressive recordings. The only one it sounded good on was my tune: “I Broke My Leg in Yucca Valley, but My Heart Lies in Palm Springs.” Really, no bullshit. That was the name of the tune and of course, it was bass oriented. I got to show off.

The band hated it. It was so intricate that they couldn’t figure it out. So they went to the booth and sulked. Even Sonja couldn’t understand the Ella Fitzgerald scatting I needed. The band hired me because of my progressive jazz fusion skills but when I used them, they got pissed off at me. Yeah. It was my fault that these university trained classical musicians didn’t understand jazz. Wankers.

Top: Jose Feliciano enjoying a doob, Me with fro, Jose recording in studio, and the lead roadies enjoying my hospitality in my hotel room.

RCA had a big “Listening Party” debuting the release of that album called “Midnight Wire.”
It was a scene right out of “Spinal Tap.” The record was played on a continual loop throughout the party and each time Yucca Valley played, I could hear mutterings of, “What the fuck is that?”

My heart sank. Feliciano liked it so much that he bought the licensing rights to it…but I waited and it never showed up on any of his albums.
RCA’s reaction to our album was a disaster.

Behind closed doors, Copeland and his henchmen figured out a new plan. They brought in two hot shot producer brothers that had just finished producing Clapton’s latest album.

In Amsterdam, they came to watch us perform and we got word that we better go meet them at their hotel one afternoon. I went by myself because no one was interested. The band hung around the hotel shooting the shit, drinking and smoking hash. On the other hand, I thought this was an important meeting.
So I sat in their hotel room and listened to these two fuck heads tear the album apart…just ripped it.

Darryl Way and me:

And to my face, they told me my bass playing sucked. They said the vocals sucked. They said the arrangements sucked. They said the violin playing sucked. They said the guitar playing was out of place. Holy Bat Shit!

I raced back to our hotel and with my eyes as big as saucers and my heart beating hard. I told the band we were in big trouble. They just laughed at me while drinking and smoking dope.

The plan was to re-record the album but something needed to be fixed. A meeting was called for the band to attend with the new producers. Guess who wasn’t invited?

The two camps blamed each other for the album failure. And guess what? Yep. I got the phone call. I was gone.

Actually, the call was from Ian Copeland; the middle brother who owned the biggest booking agency in England. He asked if he could come over? Now I lived in the suburb of Edgeware. About 30 minutes outside of London. Why would he come all the way out here and not summon me to his office. I got scared and called Sonja.

I pestered and pestered until she calmly told me I was out. When I asked why she only said Ian will explain.
When he got there, his face was long and pale. We sat in my living room and he made small talk. This was killing him because he liked me and knew what he was about to do was wrong.

So I jumped in told him about my call with Sonja. I couldn’t let him fester because I knew this wasn’t his idea and probably fought for me.
So here it was…I was the least of the problems for the lousy album; but it seemed fair that I was the cause of all the problems. Bastardos!

They hired a session bassist to fill in the tracks. But when I listened to the finished album, I heard my bass playing on 75% of the tracks. So I wasn’t the problem. They stole my bass lines.

The new album had no soul and was listless and sterile. No excitement, no verve. And the reviewers tore it to shreds calling it the worst Curved Air album ever. That made me feel a little better.

There I was, stranded in England, without a gig. It was so humiliating when the musical mags and rags started reporting that I had left the band because of differences inside the band. But I called these rags and told them the truth and they printed it.

Miles called me and gave me a tongue lashing for doing that…followed by the PR guy and others in management. I told them to go fuck themselves. They had already denied me any severance pay so I was stuck there with no dough.

Fortunately, the roadies gathered a truck load of equipment from the Copeland warehouse and brought it out to Edgeware. I was flabbergasted. They told me I could sell all of it so I could live. They did this in the knowing that they could be fired…but they weren’t. They were the core of the BTM roadies. Miles didn’t dare fire them.

I spent another 6 months playing with several well-known English bands but it just didn’t click with me and I decided to come home with my tail between my legs.

The upside? I still get player royalties. Woo Hoo. Fuckers.

Me and little Jennifer critiquing the Curved Air “Live” album:

Don’t click on the blue URL address. Use this link: http://drewestate.com/herrerataa

Wrapper: Nicaraguan
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 5.5 x 54 “Robusto – Box Pressed”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $15.60

Before I begin, I want to say I’m sorry about the last few days. I should have known better. I should have been a smarter boy. Again, my apologies.

Today we take a look at the Viaje Friends & Family Merci 2016.
Thanks to Johnny Piette for the cigar.
I could find absolutely no information on this cigar other than it follows in a line of Friends and Family cigars from Viaje.
This year’s price is the same as the 2015 edition…too much. Also the exact same size.
I think it very uncool not to disclose the leaf stats. But I found out anyway. A Nic puro.

I did discover that the Viaje Friends and Family line was made for Andre Farkas’ own personal pleasure. Generally speaking, all Viaje releases are limited editions. Retailers are lucky to get a couple boxes.
No explanation is given for why they are limited runs. The Viaje web site says nothing about cigars. Or the blends.

DESCRIPTION:
The wrapper is an oily chocolate/gingerbread color. The box press is so crisp that the footer band has sharp creases in when removed.
The triple cap is absolutely flawless. It has a closed foot. (I clip it away before lighting up so I don’t get little fireflies floating in the air.
The cigar band’s dual colors are my enemy. I can’t photograph silver and white to save my life.
And lastly, the Viaje Friends & Family Merci 2016 is packed to the gills with tobacco yet has a gentle give when pressed.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell spice, barnyard, citrus (grapefruit), cocoa, and a touch of cedar.
From the clipped cap and the clipped foot, I smell strong grapefruit citrus, spice, sweetness, spice, clove, allspice; which includes clove, cedar, cocoa, and coffee.
The cold draw presents flavors of spice, grapefruit, coffee, cedar, and allspice.

FIRST THIRD:
The cigar opens up with a big blast of red pepper.
The draw is perfect and has an abundance of white smoke that fills the the room. The cat runs for it. He has gotten used to my cigar smoking and in the evenings sits on my lap, in the man cave, and always demands to smell a cigar before I light it. Odd…but cute.

I have nothing but trouble with most box pressed cigars. They usually run for the border under my tutelage. So keeping an eye on the burn line initially is of utmost importance.

Clearly, the Viaje Friends & Family Merci 2016 had some impressive rollers because the char line is razor sharp.
The flavors: Spice, chocolate, malt, creaminess, citrus, coffee, nuts, cedar, and a rich earthiness.
Strength hits medium/full very quickly.

With only 1” gone, flavors juxtapose for position. Caramel is a new strong comer. So are the malts.
The complexity kicks in early. The finish is tasty.
I am hot and cold about Viaje. Sometimes Andre Farkas slips a little. Other times, he hits it out of the park. The Viaje Friends & Family Merci 2016 seems to be the latter.

I’m beginning to reconsider my position about the cigar being too expensive. As Tall Richard commented on another post; It won’t be long before we are used to paying $20 for a good cigar.

The burn line wavers a bit and requires attention. I use a big, cheap lighter that is just a single torch flame to correct a burn line because it gives me pin point accuracy. I don’t understand the need for a quad flame lighter. If you are trying to start a forest fire, sure. But for carefully lighting a cigar, it’s crazy. I’ve never been able to keep a four torch lighter from crawling up the outside of the wrapper. Nothing more attractive than a cigar that is black halfway up the cigar.

Slow smoking cigar.

As good as the Viaje Friends & Family Merci 2016 is, there aren’t any truly unusual flavors; especially since it is a Nic puro. Nic puros generally have the same flavor profiles with a tweak here and a tweak there.

Strength doesn’t change. Flavor profile is the same but maybe stronger and a bit more complex as I hit 1-1/2” gone.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 40 minutes.
I’m having consistent burn issues. Not bad ones but it started off so nicely and now it behaves like any other box pressed cigar.

More flavors: vanilla, floral notes, shortbread.
Strength seems to be steady at medium/full.
Finally. A decent photo:

Johnny didn’t say how much humidor time this cigar got. But it being a given that it probably got as much time as possible since the release as Johnny works for Prime Cigar in Brookfield, WI. An upscale suburb of Milwaukee.

It is just about the only cigar shop in Milwaukee that keeps up with the times with cutting edge brands.
Fortunately, Wisconsin’s cigar tax is low. 50¢ or less per cigar.
Halfway point.
Smoke time is one hour.
I’m disappointed with the burn line. It should have remained razor sharp but instead, it is consistently wavy.

While the Viaje Friends & Family Merci 2016 is an excellent cigar, it ain’t worth almost $16.
There are so many brands/blends in the $8-$9 range just as good. But the supply and demand metric gives the cigar a mystique that makes us lemmings run to the online store or our local B & M’s buying as many as we can afford.
I expect the last third to make its play.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 15 minutes.
My palate raises the flag of surrender. It’s being pelted with so much flavor that it is in overload. So many Viaje limited editions have done nothing for me but this baby makes one understand why Farkas chose this as his personal blend.

While I enjoy the complexity and character of the cigar, I think the movement to the $15.00 norm is abhorrent.
The once expensive $9 cigar is now becoming a thing of the past.

Here they are one last time: Creaminess, caramel, chocolate, coffee, malts, nutty, vanilla, floral notes, shortbread, and cedar. None of these flavors are foreign to a Nic puro. In fact, it is what we expect.
It is the combination and amounts of flavor notes, the mile long finish, the incredible smoothness, and character boldness that makes this an excellent cigar.

Strength hits full body. Nicotine hits comes to party.

Cinnamon, almonds, apples, and citrus enter the middle of the flavor profile list. The citrus disappeared at the end of the first third. Now it’s back. The fact that the citrus is grapefruit makes it more interesting.

I verified that this is, indeed, the 2016 version. Usually, the big guys will wait til the blend is ready to smoke. But that time has come. There should be dozens of reviews. Or maybe it hasn’t been officially released. Or the fact that it is so limited that other reviewers didn’t think it was necessary to review a cigar that would disappear off the shelves so quickly.

I really don’t know if small boutique online stores will carry it. I doubt it. What is more likely is that you will have to cross your fingers that your local B & M might be lucky enough to get those couple of boxes doled out by Farkas.

Do I recommend buying one or two? With state taxes, the Viaje Friends & Family Merci 2016 is going to be well over $16.00.
The char line didn’t behave the way a $16 cigar should. But it was very flavorful and full of character.
If you have the dough, go for it. But once you smoke it, you will realize you’ve smoked similar blends that are much cheaper.

RATING: 90

And now for something completely different:
We had decided to record our album in a high falutin’ recording studio: Sunset Gower in Hollywood. $250 an hour in 1981. Ouch.
Rick Tunstall, our band leader, composer, singer, and guitarist had managed to get hold of world famous, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame drummer, Hal Blaine.

I had worshiped this man since I was 16. As a teen, in fact all teens, were fascinated by the liner notes on all albums.
Hal was part of the rhythm team (L.A. Wrecking Crew) that played on all the Simon & Garfunkel albums, all of the Mamas & Papas albums, the Beach Boys, and just about everyone in the music business. Hal is a brilliant drummer. If you look at a photo of Hal’s drum kit, it is the exact same as Ringo’s kit. Ringo copied Hal’s set up…and in fact, Hal played on quite a few Beatles songs. Hal is loyal to a fault. I was never able to get him to tell me which Beatles songs he played on. But it was widely known in the music biz that he did do this.

So, Rick and I were already at the studio. The cartage company had arrived with Hal’s drum set. They worked like clockwork to assemble it properly….and then The Man showed up.

I had been in contact with all of my rock n roll heroes while I played in the English band, Curved Air in the mid 70’s so I knew how to keep my cool..but with Hal, this was different.

The man was not very tall and had a slim build. He is Jewish so I let him know I was, as well….what was I thinking? That he would fall in love with me?

We kibitzed for a while and we explained the tunes we would be recording. The recording area was huge! Like a gymnasium.
Hal sat at his kit fine tuning the kit after being moved. He reached into his stick bag, hanging from the snare, and pulled out some sheet music. He motioned me over and showed it to me.

It was drum sheet music written by hand. By Paul Simon’s hand. It was “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” I was in shock. Hal let me hold it. I stared at it like it was the Holy Grail.

We rehearsed our first song one time and Hal had it. Just before we hit the “record” button, Hal said to me, “Phil, you’re a pretty good bassist. Have you done session work?”
I gurgled something that basically meant no. Even though that wasn’t true. But not big time session work.
“I can get you some work if you want?”
I exploded with: #%^&&@D^@&(@!!!!!!
I think it meant, “Would I? Hell, yes”

We spent a month recording an album’s worth of material. And Hal was there for about 2 weeks to do the rhythm tracks.
Here I was, playing bass against Hal Blaine’s licks. Surreal doesn’t begin to explain the situation. I was sweating like crazy.

I gave Hal some suggestions and he gave me his suggestions. We worked as a team. And he “always” had great ideas to make things work better.

Between tracks, Hal and I would sit in the booth and kibitz. He told me stories as if he was Uncle Remus. He could drop names like no one I had ever met. I’ve always loved stories about rock. I’ve met numerous musicians that when you tell them stories, they become jealous and just turn you off. Not me. Anyone I meet that has stories to tell, I’m all in.

He told me inside stories that had me in rapture. Meanwhile, my partner Rick, took me into the lounge and proceeded to scream at me…”Do you know that the 15 minute story that Hal told cost us $85?”
I bowed my head in shame but I really didn’t care. If paying $250 an hour to listen to Hal was the price, it was well worth it.

Hal was true to his word getting me big session work in L.A. He later went on to become my mentor doing all sorts of things for me at my own recording studio in Long Beach. We became good friends. He took scale money from me for recordings that made me a big shot in my customer’s eyes. All of the Long Beach musician community found out that at Sound Sorcery Recording Studio, Hal Blaine was available to play on their songs. I was treated like the Godfather.

More About Hal Blaine:
Hal was a special man to me. Hal was part of the L.A. Wrecking Crew. A group of musicians that were hired for their expertise and cohesion in the studio. I really don’t know if they ever played out together, but they did create magic in the studio. The bassist, Carol Kaye, was my bass teacher when I was 19. She and Hal played on most of the Beach Boys songs.

The list of Top 10 songs Hal played on is endless. He worked a lot with Phil Spector. Hal was my mentor and friend. I was 32 at the time. He played with everyone; literally. He could tell stories about my heroes like no one else. I loved to hear him talk. And he was a bona fide story teller.

He told me he was at Sinatra’s house when Tommy Sands met Nancy Sinatra and he could see them fell in love immediately. Jesus Alou!

Hal lived the typical rich musician life. Lots of wives and kids and during the time I was close to him, he lived on his yacht which was docked in Marina Del Rey, CA.

At the time, I had a TV show with a local DJ on a major rock station in L.A. Marshall Thomas interviewed 1960’s musical acts and I wrote and produced and directed.
We were lucky enough to get Hal to agree to be on one of our shows. And we also got Darlene Love of The Blossoms fame. You might remember her as Danny Glover’s wife in the “Lethal Weapon” movie series.

As fate would have it, both of them did an Ed Sullivan Special together in 1968. It was Nancy Sinatra in Vegas for the whole show. Darlene and her Blossoms did the backup vocals and Hal was on drums.

Hal bought a 1968 Sony video recorder/player so he could watch the show afterwards. He told me it cost $3200 in 1968.

This thing was like a boat anchor. It was reel to reel. And I had the chore of getting the reel of the TV show converted to regular TV ¾” format. I had to borrow the video recorder from Hal to take it to the transfer studio in Hollywood.

So off I went to his boat with no idea how heavy this thing would be. And it was a long walk. I was on the light side back then. And this thing must have weighed 50lbs. He also gave me the black and white monitor that came with the recorder. Now this sucker must have weighed another 50lbs.

I sat with Hal, on his boat, and we kibitzed for a while and then I left. To this day, my right arm is one foot longer than the left because of carrying that recorder and monitor to my car.

I went through the motions and accomplished getting the video transferred to ¾”.

Then I reluctantly dragged the thing back to the yacht. When I got there, Hal asked me to please hold on to it for a while because he had no room for it on his boat. WTF!!!???

I screeched: “Hal! Look at me! I weigh 150lbs and this thing is making me a hunch back!”
Hal laughed. And shook his head. I told him that he must make me lunch to gain the strength to lug this thing back to my car. He did. Lox and bagels. Ummmm. I went downstairs to the belly of the yacht and the kitchen is something I had never seen before. He had that thing stocked with the finest foods.

So, I lugged the damn thing back.

Long story, short….The show was a rousing success. We had wonderful shots of Darlene and Hal playing while Nancy did “These Boots are Made for Walking.” And they were completely at home in front of the camera.

Every now and again, I would mention to Hal that I would be happy to bring his recorder back. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Hang on to it a little longer, boychik.”

So now, 33 years later, the recorder is in my living room. I use it for a bomb shelter.

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Nicaraguan Cuban Seed Double Binder: Jalapa & Esteli
Filler: Nicaraguan Corojo (Triple Fermented)
Size: 5.75 X 56 “Cretan Bull”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $8.00

Today we take a look at the Rocky Patel Hercules Cretan Bull.
Thanks to John Moyer for the cigar. And as long as I feel up to it, I will make my own reviewing schedule. And no more personal stuff about my life except for the exciting rock n roll stories at the end of the review.
I’m anxious to try it. Only found 3 reviews. Don’t know if that’s good or bad. But they reported an only so-so cigar experience.
From this point forward, I will no longer be recommending online stores for purchase of a reviewed cigar. This has come to backfire on me. I’m doing the heavy lifting. You do the lightweight stuff of looking it up on Google.
“It’s not personal, Sonny. It’s business.”

DESCRIPTION:
I believe the cigar came out in 2012.
The oily wrapper looks like a baked potato in color; with lots of veins. Seams are tight. It appears to have a quadruple cap but it so expertly applied, it is hard to tell for sure.
The stick is very solid with some give to it.
The double cigar bands are interesting and the color scheme is unlike any other RP blend.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Mongul: 5 x 54 $7.00
Cretan Bull: 5.75 x 56 $8.00
Barbarian: 6 x 60 $9.00
Gnarly Club: 7 x 58 $9.00

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell a fruity sweetness, spice, caramel, coffee, cedar, and new leather.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell spice, barnyard, coffee, fruit, brand new leather, caramel, nuts, cedar, and sweetness.
The cold draw presents flavors of bright red cherries, barnyard, more new leather, chocolate, spice, sweetness, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
It takes several minutes to properly toast the foot but when I finish, I am rewarded with big flavors of black pepper, excruciatingly good sweetness, milk chocolate, creaminess, cedar, a super-rich dose of earthiness, and a whole array of malts.

Clearly, of the three reviews I read, mine is the one with the most humidor aged blend. It reeks of time and age…in a good way, of course.

The Rocky Patel Hercules is an excellent cigar. I’m sure it took quite a while for it to get to this point of its blender’s intent.
Surprisingly, at this early stage, it has become very complex.
The strength is medium body.

The char line is a tad bit wavy but no need to rectum-ify anything.

The cherries are making the blend. And a very woody element of oak and hickory add this component that makes it great! But then so does the creaminess. And the milk chocolate.
The complexity hit so early that I am filled with indecision about the flavors.

I’m very curious as to the humidor time really needed to get to this point in the complexity. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if it only took a couple of months. Most Patel cigars take a while.
I get a hearty pluck of cinnamon that doles out total “synchronicity” with the black pepper. No. There will be no story about me and The Police today.

This is the first mamma jamma, in a long time that actually has the flavor of new leather. I find that that term is usually a fall back for someone unable to describe the myriad of flavors a blend might have. I believe that Cigar Aficionado uses that term too much. The more sophisticated your palate becomes, the less leather you taste.

This is a big cigar. The 5 x 54 Mongul would have been more to my taste in terms of sizes. This will be a 2 hour cigar. But then, if the cigar keeps my interest for that time span, it doesn’t matter. If it loses my interest, I will feel like a Hebrew pulling giant stones to build the Great Pyramid. The money is bad but the hours are long.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is nearly 40 minutes.

The char line is a champ. Just like me in women’s boxing in high school. I was too skinny for the men’s team.

Strength remains at medium body. Everything I read about this cigar says it starts off at medium/full and hits full body very quickly. Being medium body strength at this point in the cigar tells me it has a year or two; or more of humidor time. And some of the strength has mellowed or been sapped out of it.
As long as it’s flavorful, I don’t care.

A new component comes along that is actually a bastardization of other flavors. A curious element of dried cherries, dried cranberries, and golden raisins. Very nice.

I’ve yet to see the ash fall. At some point soon, I will need to take my camera in for servicing. I believe it has had its limit on cigar ash falling on to it and into it. It is doing weird stuff that I can’t explain. It has become a real pain in the ass.
I shit you not when I say that just as I capped that previous sentence with a period, the entire ash fell on to the top of my camera. Out comes the Swifter mop.

As I move on to the halfway point, the strength increases to medium/full.
Smoke time is one hour.

Some new flavors appear. Here is the current list of flavors for the Rocky Patel Hercules: Chocolate, dried fruit, creaminess, malts, leather, various woods, cinnamon, black pepper, caramel, salted pumpkin seeds (Pepitas), cedar, very nutty and toasty, warm bread, and vanilla. Very, very nice.

Man, I had some weird friggin’ dreams last night. I have to remember not to shoot heroin before bed time. So that I don’t have tracks, I use the optic nerve method. Stand in front of a mirror. Hold the syringe at a 90° angle to your cornea, and insert the needle directly into your pupil. No tracks.

One time, Charlotte came rushing into the bathroom while I was doing this to get her depilatory cream, and she knocked my elbow. I slammed the needle right between my eyebrows. It squirted everywhere and the damn cat licked it up. Now our poor little Sammy wanders the ghetto at night trying to score.

Back to the Rocky Patel Hercules. Cretan Bull. What kind of name is that? According to greekmythology.com, it is described as: “The Cretan Bull was a bull that appeared in the myth of the Labours of Heracles, as well as the myth of the Minotaur, in Greek mythology. It was the creature that Pasiphae fell in love with, and became impregnated by, eventually giving birth to the Minotaur.”

Do cigar companies have idiots in locked rooms, with padding on the walls, just to come up with these stupid names for blends and sizes?

I’m amazed at the great construction of this cigar. It hasn’t required a single char line touch up since the start. No wrapper issues. No seams coming apart. John Moyer takes very good care of his cigars. I’m impressed. Any cigar that I can manage to hold on to for a couple years ends up looking like a tampon.

I remember, early in our marriage, how I would get a shopping list for the market and there were the dreaded tampons or pads on that list. Nothing more horrifying than to stand in the middle of that huge aisle looking for something so foreign to you that you expect the manager to announce on the intercom system: “There is a befuddled and confused man in the Tampon aisle. Will an associate please assist him?”
And then he repeats it.

Allspice begins to show itself.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 25 minutes.

And then Bam! The cigar lets loose with enormous flavors. Big open Wyoming sky flavors.
The Rocky Patel Hercules Cretan Bull takes off like a rocket.

Strength hits full body. The spiciness is like the start of most Pepin Garcia blends.

This is one smooth mommy. The woodiness envelops all of the other flavors. Touching each of them with its magic gay wand.
I have one of those wands at home that I use to answer the door when the mailman comes to the door.

When you find out who sells these cigars, you will notice they have a sale and the cigars are going for half the MSRP. That is a great price for this blend. But the downside, for me, is the sizes. Ring gauges are tooooooo big. As I said earlier, the only one that interests me is the 5 x 54. That’s manageable.

The last third is so good, that I am going to base my rating on it. Never mind that construction and char line have been impeccable. The flavors were excellent during the first two thirds. But this last third takes the cake.
Wow.

The complexity is carnival big time. The chocolate, creaminess, and malts are made in heaven. The dried fruit and sweetness are perfect.
Why haven’t I heard about this cigar? It’s been out for nearly 4 years.
Thank you John Moyer.

The caramel is fervently delicious. The nutty, toasty, warm bread, and vanilla flavors are killer.

The three reviews reported none of this. I don’t blame them for not waiting to review this cigar and as a consequence missed out on all the yummy flavors. Who wants to wait 2 years to review a new cigar?

I’m impressed. This is the first cigar, in ages, that gave me zero trouble. It is the first cigar to have a perfect char line in a year.

The downside? This is an investment cigar. The Rocky Patel Hercules Cretan Bull is something to be bought and then forgotten about for quite a while. As most RP cigars require.

Yeah, this cigar took forever to finish. But I enjoyed every minute of the experience.

The Rocky Patel Hercules Cretan Bull finishes smooth and hearty. Firm to the touch. No heat or harshness. And Gloriosky Bullwinkle! No nicotine. Huzzah!

I’ve got an inch or so to go and I don’t want it to end, but alas, it does.
Snag some.

Final smoke time is 2 hours 5 minutes.

RATING: 91

And now for something completely different:
1983

We traveled to NYC to do the “Today Show.” Along with my client, scheduled to be on the same segment was Billy Mumy (of “Lost In Space” fame) scheduled to sit and talk to Bryant Gumbel. We were promoting the release of the single, “Whatever Happened to Eddie.” We took the theme from the Munsters and put our own lyrics to it.

Getting a license to use the Munster’s theme was a real bitch. They call the big building in Hollywood that houses Universal the BLACK TOWER. And for good reasons. That place has been known to eat artists alive.

At first, we thought Jane Pauley would do the interview but they seemed to be in the middle of a cluster fuck and both Pauley and Gumbel kept getting up and down until Gumbel slammed his fist on the table and said, “Goddam good thing we don’t make dynamite here!”

The director, up in the booth above our heads, couldn’t make up his mind who would interview the duo and this was happening during a commercial break. Live!

I met both Gumbel and Pauley. Gumbel was an arrogant prick but Pauley was gracious and generous. I stood and talked to her for 5 minutes about nothing. Very down to earth lady. I was somewhat startled at how petite she is. I don’t care what her publicity says, this woman is no taller than 5’-2.

I stood in the tiny studio next to a camera man and watched the interview. Within a couple minutes, I started wishing that I was managing Mumy, not Butch.

I was amazed at how small the studio was. Two small sets. One was the anchor desk and the other had some sort of cheesy backdrop with two comfy chairs.

After the interview, we all headed out together and hit a bar at 9am. Everyone had breakfast except Butch. He drank his. Butch was the first person I ever knew that did not like to eat food. He just didn’t like it. I had to force him when I was on the road with him. And it wasn’t the coke. He just didn’t like to put food in his mouth.

It was fun talking to Mumy especially about his days on his TV show, “Lost in Space.” The evil doctor stranded with them was really, really gay and used to put the moves on Mumy. No one did anything about it.
I grew up watching “Lost in Space” so it was a big deal meeting him.

I slipped Mumy my business card and asked that he call me. Naturally, he didn’t.

We met some cute girls at the bar and they invited us to a party on Long Island that night. Butch agreed without asking me. We had a big radio interview the next morning and I told Butch we were to be picked up in a car, at 8am at our Manhattan hotel, and I didn’t think a trip to Long Island would be in our best interest.
So of course, we went to the party.

Butch closed the bar at 4am. I had gone back to our hotel long ago and I was awakened by him, and about 8 drunken people whom he dragged back to the hotel. They continued to drink until they passed out on the floor.
At 6am, I got up and saw Butch lying on the floor next to his bed, snoring.
I shook him and he was as drunk as a skunk. I couldn’t get him to wake up so I threw water in his face which elicited a lot of cursing.

He then begged me to call the radio station and ask them to postpone the interview until tomorrow.

I was livid. This was the NBC affiliate that was syndicated all across America. I think it was the Don Imus show.
He was in no shape to be interviewed so I called the radio station and told them Butch was sick. They were enraged. But they gave in, reluctantly, and allowed us to postpone the interview until the next day, and while I was thanking them, they hung up on me mid-sentence.

The moment I hung up, Butch said to me in a slurred voice, “OK. I’m good. Let’s go do the interview.”

I leaped on him while he was still on his back on the floor. I put my hands around his neck and choked him like a chicken. His face turned beet red. He was flailing his arms but he was weak from being so drunk.
He couldn’t talk but I could see in his eyes that he was pleading for me to stop…so I did.

I got up, grabbed my bags, took out a $20 bill, threw it on his chest, along with his plane ticket home…and told him he better be at that interview tomorrow. And then I left and grabbed a plane home.

Two days later, I got a call from my publicist who went on a tear and ripped me a new asshole for leaving Butch alone.
All I said was, “Fuck you, you motherfucker!!” And hung up.
Butch did the interview the next morning…drunk.

More on Butch (Eddie Munster) Patrick….
Our press agent had finagled us into an anniversary party for Alan Hale, Jr’s restaurant row on La Cienega Blvd. The Skipper (Gilligan’s Island) had a very successful restaurant called: The Lobster Barrel. (The restaurant was sold after Hale’s death and the name changed to The Shark Bar)

Did you know that The Skipper’s name was really Jonas Gumby? Yep.

Butch and I arrived at the packed Lobster Barrel and it was crawling with strange celebs.
Star of screen in the 1930’s and 1940’s, Rudy Vallee was there.
Max Baer from The Beverly Hillbillies was there. He was doing his best Elvis impression. No kidding. He had an expensive suit with a cape, shirt unbuttoned to his navel, loads of yellow gold necklaces, lots of gold bracelets, and his hair was dyed jet black with Elvis side burns. He also had three good looking chicks hanging all over him.

We hung out and ate and drank on the Skipper. We also met some up and coming bands, who I can’t remember. Lots of photos were taken by newspaper and magazine reporters. Butch was in all of them.

Now here is where it went south on me….

We meandered towards the exit of the restaurant saying our good byes to everyone.
Hale stood at the exit saying good bye to everyone and thanking them for coming. Now I thought this was his birthday party and as I shook his hand, I said, “Happy Birthday, Mr. Hale.”

Hale didn’t flinch or blink when I said that. He thanked me profusely for coming, gave me a gentle slap on the back, and we were back on La Cienega. Then Butch turned to me and said, “You schmuck. It isn’t his birthday; it’s the anniversary of the restaurant.
Du-oh!

What a nice man Mr. Hale was not to correct me and embarrass me. I met a lot of celebrities while doing the Eddie Munster project back in the early 1980’s. And no one was as down to earth as The Skipper.
Next….the green room at the Mike Douglas Show.

Wrapper: Connecticut
Binder and Filler: Undisclosed
Size: 5 x 52 “Robusto”
Body: Medium
Price: $9.00

Today we take a look at Tiger Kitty Soft Paws.
Thanks to my neighbor, Travis, for the 5 pack. He is 25 and I’ve taken him under my tutelage. We don’t smoke together that often because who wants to sit with an old man and smoke a cigar? But I did give him some Grand Daddy Purple, that a California reader sent me, so he returned the favor. I made sure that he gets all the email updates from the online stores, that count, on his smart phone.

The cigars were produced by Black Label Trading Company at their Oveja Negra factory in Esteli.
Only 500 cigars were released.
I got mine yesterday and smoked one ROTT and it had that wonderful fresh rolled taste so this was the time to strike.

DESCRIPTION:
This is a jam packed cigar. Feels very heavy in the hand. But the perfect amount of give when depressed.
The oily, beige wrapper is a little funky looking with exposed loose seams, lots of veins, and slightly sloppy quadruple caps.
The cigars are very round which you don’t see very often.
The only adornment is a blue ribbon footer. So, a plain looking cigar.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell cinnamon, gingerbread, spice, cream, milk chocolate, coffee, cedar, and citrus.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell strong red pepper, cinnamon, cream, milk chocolate, cedar, coffee, barnyard, and citrus.
The cold draw presents flavors of milk chocolate, dried fruit, red pepper, cream, coffee, spice, cinnamon, citrus, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
Last night’s first Tiger Kitty Soft Paws had a wavy char line the first 25%. I did not touch it and voila….the remainder of the cigar provided a razor sharp burn line.
Now, less than 24 hours later, we shall see what we shall see.

First up to bat is a blast of black pepper. Followed by nice gingerbread cookie and creaminess. A slight touch of milk chocolate and coffee. The next pair is malt and citrus. And lastly, a healthy dose of cedar.

Regardless of the construction issues, I will not blame the manufacturing. I am an anxious boy for not waiting as I wanted to capture that special fresh rolled taste that has such a short window. Although, here in SE Wisconsin, the weather has been gorgeous with the temps in the 60’s. So now we enter March’s rainy season.
The Tiger Kitty Soft Paws is a slow smoke. It lies heavy between my lips. Nice.

The char line is behaving but I have a wrapper crack near the foot. Like I said earlier, not the cigar’s fault. Toxic shock syndrome from extreme temperature, and humidity, change.
Strength is medium body…on the money.

There is a nicely aged flavor to it…in addition to the fresh rolled flavor.

I’ve never been able to train my palate to definitively recognize what that flavor, as a whole, really is. It something that tells you that you’ve hit the blender’s intent just like that pop up button on the Butterball turkey.

A touch of caramel comes through. Making it taste like a caramel latte because of the coffee and cream.
The spiciness has all but disappeared.
Last night’s cigar had plenty of pepper to spare. Even resting overnight can change the flavor profile somewhat. I should have reviewed it last night but I wouldn’t get a single decent photo. If there is such a thing for me.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 25 minutes.
I know this is a silly thing to point out but the ribbon footer on the Tiger Kitty Soft Paws cigar is a stout mother. It is thick and feels good to the touch. It isn’t the usual flimsy, thin ribbon seen on 99% of other cigars with a ribbon footer. They skimped on the cigar band but did not so on the ribbon.

Spice returns. Nice.

I’ve burned through the crack now. The flavors provide a kick in the ass.
Here they are: Red pepper (I know, it keeps changing), creaminess, chocolate, coffee, citrus, cedar, caramel, cinnamon, fresh berries, malts, and gingerbread.

Strength reaches medium/full.
The ash is hanging tough.

I’m very impressed with this cigar just like the J.W. Marshall by BLTC. Both are big leaps as far as I’m concerned. Sure, the other blends are very good. But these two blends are “Special.”

I discover a new flavor in the back of my throat. It is part mineral, part earthiness, and part graham cracker.
The halfway point is upon me.

Smoke time is 45 minutes.
Strength remains at medium/full.

And the flavor profile is singing opera to me.
In comparing the Tiger Kitty Soft Paws with the J.W. Marshall, I’d say the latter has a slight edge over the former. The reason? The Marshall starts off at medium/full and gets stronger. It is just a preference, not a knock on the TKSP blend. I just prefer stronger cigars. Plus the spiciness was more consistent throughout the cigar experience of the Marshall.
But I am, in the end, splitting hairs as each blend has its own attributes that put a big smile on my puss.
The char line has, for the most part, been spot on. Only a couple minor touch ups required.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 5 minutes.
Strength is a touch above medium/full.
The black pepper is going strong.

So are the other flavors. Nothing new to add just intensity and complexity.

The time to go back and try the balance of my 5 pack will be in a couple months or so and a good time to compare.

I reviewed the RP Hercules the other day. Clearly, the cigar is not well thought of or there would be more reviews. But in the rush to be the first on the block, reviews were done too soon. Thanks to John Moyer for sending me a stick with a couple years on it, I got to really taste the blender’s intent. But it is a total mystery as to why some cigars fade from time and others flourish. The Hercules flourished.

This is a fine cigar. But it didn’t have that big oomph at the start like the JW Marshall did. Small thing really. Still gets a good rating.
The last third is magic time.

The complexity is stunning. The balance and finish are luxurious.

The spiciness is right where I like it. I never would have had a chance to get this stick if not for my neighbor Travis and Grand Daddy Purple (“Introduced in 2003 by Ken Estes, Granddaddy Purple (or GDP) is a famous Indica cross between Purple Urkle and Big Bud. This California staple inherits a complex grape and berry aroma from its Purple Urkle parent, while Big Bud passes on its oversized, compact bud structure. GDP flowers bloom in shades of deep purple, a contrastive backdrop for its snow-like dusting of white crystal resin.
“Its potent psychoactive effects are clearly detectable in both mind and body, delivering a fusion of cerebral euphoria and physical relaxation. While your thoughts may float in a dreamy buzz, your body is more likely to find itself fixed in one spot for the duration of GDP’s effects. Like most heavy Indica varieties, Granddaddy Purple is typically pulled off the shelf to treat pain, stress, insomnia, appetite loss, and muscle spasms. GDP blesses growers with massive commercial yields which are ready for harvest following a 60 day flowering time indoors.)

Where was I? Who’s my Daddy? What day is it?

One thing that really impresses me about Tiger Kitty Soft Paws is the construction. It is a hearty soul for being able to hold up after its long trip. No undue wrapper issues. A good and steady char line. Never gets soft. And that long steady ash.
And no nicotine.

It is a real shame that manufacturers are developing this trend that if you don’t have the dough to buy their cigars on the first day of its release, you are SOL. They should want to share it a little more. Not necessarily a regular production blend…but come on….give the customers a few days to get their finances in order if they have to.
So why am I reviewing a cigar you can no longer purchase. Merely to document its existence…that’s all. Like a silent fart in the woods. If no one is there to hear it, does it exist?

The Tiger Kitty Soft Paws finishes with lots of flair. No harshness. No heat. Firm to the touch. And a boat load of flavor.
Good on ‘yer BLTC.

RATING: 90

How are you feeling? Has the Great Flu Plague of 2016 hit you yet?
It hit me hard. Haven’t been this sick in over 5 years.
If you are suffering from this Devil’s Menstruation, my heart goes out to you.
Nothing seems to help. Time will heal.
I hope you feel better soon.
I hope I feel better soon.