December 16, 2009-January 6, 2016

This is so painful to write. I want to do this as a eulogy before I am no longer able to put things in writing…and the feelings are fresh.

At 6:22pm last night, our 6 year old boxer, Ebba, passed.
She died peacefully. Charlotte and I were there…petting and loving her while the vet put the end of life med in her leg.

Ebba was initially our daughter, Katie’s, dog. She broke up with her boyfriend and moved in with us. The dog came with her. After a year or so, Katie fell in love with John Hawk Larson. A Milwaukee cop.
She couldn’t bring Ebba with her when she moved in with John. So we became the dog’s parents. Although, by this time, Charlotte had already adopted Ebba in her heart. And didn’t want Ebba to leave.

The name Ebba is German for “Strength.” She was the runt of the litter and had health issues from the beginning. But in our home, the dog grew to be a big, muscular 75lb dog. Healthy and happy.

I know that everyone reading this has gone through the same thing as we did. A loving dog becomes more than a pet. It truly becomes a family member.

Ebba was so loving. But was a powerful guard dog when folks came to the door. Her place was on our “L” shaped couch with the big bay window available for her to keep watch. If someone came close to our front door, she would bark like a maniac…couch pillows flying everywhere. But if we allowed the person in, the dog stopped barking and placed her nose in that person’s crotch with her little stub of a tail wagging at 60rpm.

We took good care of Ebba. Only the best food. No crappy treats. Vitamins. And lots of love.

Charlotte told me she will miss Ebba’s Happy Dance. As soon as Charlotte came in the door from being at work, or at Katie’s, the dog made her pleasure known. Charlotte murmured over and over, “I’m going to miss her happy dance.”

When I took my afternoon old man naps, Ebba got on the bed and took a nap with me.

We’ve had cats. And Ebba loved every one of them. Our current cat knew something was wrong when we got home from the vet last night. Sammy roamed the house looking for Ebba; crying the entire time. Where we had placed a blanket for Ebba on our bed was removed as soon as we got home. An hour later, I saw that Sammy had placed her favorite toy right where the blanket used to be. Sammy is going to miss her buddy.

Ebba died of severe renal failure. Very common for over bred breeds like boxers. Her siblings died young from the same issue. We didn’t notice problems with her until about 10 days ago. Loss of appetite. Lethargic. Not drinking enough water. vomiting. Loose stool. And so on. It started mild. But by yesterday, it was clear it was serious. Charlotte came home from work and we went to the vet. The vet charged us $500 we didn’t have. It was basically what we have to live on til the end of January. But we didn’t give it another thought. Ebba came first. Period. We’d make do.

A few hours after the vet visit, I got a call from the vet. “Bad news.” My heart sank. Apparently, Ebba was suffering terribly.
So at 6pm, we walked through the door of the vet hospital. At 6:22pm, she was gone. And of course, the vet charged us another $150. So now we have no money to live on for the rest of January. They wouldn’t let us do payments. Heartless. They had us by the balls. What else could we do? Again, we will make do.

Charlotte and I have been sobbing uncontrollably. We cried all last night and continued to cry this morning. Every part of the house reminds us Ebba isn’t here.

We are both 65. I will be 66 in a month. NO more animals. It doesn’t get easier and we are just too old for this kind of heartbreak.

The house feels empty. Ebba’s soul may visit now and then.
I keep expecting for Ebba to come sit in front of me…put her paw on my leg to tell me she needs to go out.

December 16, 2009 – January 6, 2016 Rest in Peace you cool as hell pooch!

Time will heal. But not soon.

I welcome your comments below to tell us all about your pet. Please feel free to share your experience.
Thank you for taking time from your day to read this.

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 6 x 52 “Toro”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $10.50

Photo courtesy of Corona Cigar Co.

Today we take a look at The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads.
Thanks to a reader who demanded asylum and anonymity or I’d find the head of a horse in my bed one morning.

A couple things struck me during the research process. First, there isn’t a glut of reviews as is normal for a special limited cigar. And second, there are still Angel’s Anvils for sale at several online stores. The cigar was released 7 months ago and only 1000 boxes in that release…which makes me wonder why there are still cigars for sale?
Well, let’s see.

BACKGROUND:
Release date: June, 2015
Limited release of 1,000 Boxes of 20 Cigars.

Still available at:
Corona Cigar Co. The 2015 is available in singles and boxes only.
Anthony’s Cigar Emporium sells the 2015 in singles only.
Burns Tobacconist offers the 2015 in 5 packs and boxes.
Serious Cigars offers the 2015 in singles and boxes.

Factory: Tabacalera La Alianza S.A.
According to Halfwheel.com:
“The blend for the 2015 version is based off the company’s first limited release, the Four Kicks Mule Kick.”
It is available only to Tobacconist Association of America member shops, of which there are about 73 in the country.
The 2014 release was made in a Churchill size for Crowned Heads by Ernesto Perez Carrillo’s Tabacalera La Alianza in the Dominican Republic.

DESCRIPTION:
This is an oily bitch. Seams are nearly invisible. Lots of seams; both big and small. Some lumps and bumps. An impeccable triple cap. The wrapper is the color of chocolate mocha. Very smooth to the touch.
I like the cigar band a lot. It’s classy and full of symbolism. If you want the whole story, you can go to Halfwheel.com for the low down.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell cinnamon, spice, barnyard, cocoa, peppermint, honey, and cedar.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell strong spice, barnyard, chocolate, cedar, sweetness, honey, floral notes, and coffee.
The cold draw presents flavors of creaminess, chocolate, mint, and sweet cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is very good.
Right out of the gate, a big pop of spiciness, milk chocolate, salted nuts, espresso, malts, creaminess, and a big dose of complexity.
Strength is immediately medium/full body.

This cigar needed time to breathe. Most reviews did their work at the same time the cigar came out. Mine has had 7 months to age properly. Totally different experience than they had.

Extremely delicious cigar. Depth of character is like a spelunker’s cavern a mile deep.

I had my second terrible night of sleep. Tension, stress, and sadness made my back hurt something awful and never found a comfortable position to sleep in. Of course, waking up crying didn’t help much either. I miss Ebba.

I want to thank all those that commented or sent me emails about their experiences. These are the most articulate, heartbreaking stories I’ve read. Thank you for helping me not feel alone in the loss of my dog. And to make things just peachy, we had to give the vet half down and a check postdated for the 15th when Charlotte gets paid. The check even says “Don’t deposit until January 15, 2016.” So what did they do? They cashed it today and now we are $300 overdrawn. I’m waiting for their office to call back with an answer. I betcha a dollar they try to blame me. Fuckers. They are magicians. They can tear your heart, and wallet, out at the exact same time.

Holy crap. This is a great cigar and I’m less than an inch in.

The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads is packed solid. No under filling of fillers here.
More flavors show up: raisins, marzipan, buttered toast, fresh fruit, nougat, lime citrus, and herbal notes.
Now, I’m impressed.

Construction is immaculate. The char line a bit wavy but nothing of concern.

The reader sent me three sticks. I smoked one about a week ago. I was so blown away that I made a change to my Top 25 Cigars of 2015 and placed the The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads at No.9.
As I am still reviewing cigars from 2015, my list is in flux. It will be finalized by February 10.

The thing I love about playing bass live is that one must live in the moment. You don’t think about your problems. You are allowing the music to pass through you…if you’re lucky.

As I can no longer play the bass, I find the same thing occurs when I write a review. I live in the moment. There is no way I could ever go back to writing, taking notes, and then write the review…like I did when I started many years ago.

I write stream of consciousness with no corrections made later. First draft is final draft except for using Microsoft Word Spell Check. So, the point to this rambling is that I love what I do and will miss it terribly.

Now don’t get me wrong. I will continue to smoke cigars like a chimney. Without them, I am lost. There is no way I can sit at home and watch TV without a cigar in my mouth.

Back to the The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads. I love the Las Mareas, the La Imperiosa, the Jericho Hill, the Four Kicks, the Headley Grange, The Buckingham, The North and South Projects, and the illustrious Las Calaveras Edición Limitada.

I’ve been listening to the second disc of the James Taylor Live album. I found, what I thought was lost, the “Early Days- The Best of Led Zeppelin Volume One.”
I’ve got it cranked so I can barely think. Nice.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 40 minutes.
This has been a lovely slow and leisurely cigar experience. Big points for that.

The char line is on point. Construction remains perfect.

Here they are: Milk chocolate, salted nuts, creaminess, spiciness, strong espresso, malts, raisins, marzipan, sweetness, smokiness, buttered toast, caramel, fresh fruit, nougat, ginger, lime citrus, and herbal notes.

And now for a breakdown of the malts: Special B Malt, Smoked Malt, Peated Malt, Crystal/Caramel Malt, Coffee Malt, and Chocolate Rye Malt. (See Malt Chart).
That is a lot of malt.

Strength is medium/full on its way to full body.
There is a pine element.

With my back to the living room couch, I call out: “Hey Ebba. You wanna go out? You gotta go pee?” But before I can finish that sentence I realize there is no Ebba.
I’m very tired of crying.

The fruit component makes itself clear: plum, prune, apricot, and nectarine. Nice.
Very subtle mind you. But then The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads is so complex that it is awash in subtleties and nuance. A deep chasm of character and flavors.

“The Early Days” Led Zeppelin CD is playing all the songs that my early band Homegrown played live…circa 1969-1972. We nailed those tunes. We had a singer that could hit all those high notes or growl like a bear so we pretty much were able to play any song on the charts in those days. The crowds loved us and we were booked nearly every weekend for 3 years.
Some of those songs were highly complicated. Our guitarist, Mike Cook, was the most patient teacher. He and I sat for hours learning the tunes. Yet, Mike in real life, was the most impatient man I knew. Stubborn and his way or the highway. But never while learning a song. Unfortunately, he died a few years ago of prostate cancer.

Guys my age have lots of friends who passed too early. For me…about half.

All of the online stores listed above sell The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads for the same price. So it’s just a matter of what quantity you want. Some sell singles, 5 packs or boxes.

I’d love to buy a few more but the damn vet took all of our money. This means we have to ask our daughter, Katie, for money. And then we have to listen to her lecture us.

This is a killer cigar and the best part is that it takes its time.
My hat is tipped to Jon Huber. I believe there is another co-owner but I can’t remember his name. Sorry. My bad. Memory slippage.

Some bitterness shows up. Not good.

This didn’t happen in my first cigar. Sometimes that happens if you puff too hard and too often. But I haven’t done that. In a review, I puff about every couple minutes.
Halfway point. Smoke time is one hour.

And just like that…the bitterness is gone. Go figure.
And then a flavor explosion. Wow. No more subtlety. This is an all-out war of the flavors.
Flavor Bomb 1.0.

I still don’t understand other reviewers that gave this cigar too low a rating. Clearly, they smoked it too soon. But then the Big Guys are expected to be the first on the block to review a new cigar. I’m guessing that The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads needs some extensive humidor time. And I got that.

I used to get the shivers when I played the opening bass line to “Dazed and Confused.” The audience went nuts. And I always had a big smile on my puss.

Now I’m wondering if The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads should have been placed higher in my Top 25 Cigars of 2015.

The price point is on the money. Instead of being greedy with a very limited production, Crowned Heads chose to be wallet friendly. Kudos and Brava!

I believe the reason that The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads didn’t sell out in the first month is because most smokers were impatient and didn’t give the cigar its rightful humidor time. That’s fine with me. Otherwise, I would never have the opportunity to smoke and review it.

You ever notice that there are times you have to put the cigar down for a while and then come back to it and the flavors just explode like a pie in the face? I love that. It’s called palate overload.
The spiciness is on the wane. Hope it returns in the last third.

Some of the flavors meld into each other. The last half of my flavor list becomes a whirling dervish.
The malts are now driving the bus. The chocolate is reduced. So is the coffee.

But now it is a very meaty cigar. A big boy cigar. It has a very Cubanesque flavor now.
I’ve never been able to satisfactorily describe what that is. And since my memory is on the fritz, it is harder now. But it reminds me of some excellent Cubans I’ve smoked in the past. I admire the reviewers who can describe a cigar they smoked a year ago. Something, I am no longer able to do.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 30 minutes.
The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads requires its first touch up of the burn line.

Strength reaches full body. Along with it comes some nicotine. I used to make jokes about having Ebba lie down next to me so when I pass out, I fall on something soft.
Now, I only have hard floor so on goes the crash helmet.

I read the comments about me on the cigar forum Cigar Bum. They were very kind. But I can’t remember my password and the site isn’t cooperating so I can’t go on and say thank you.

I laughed when I read the comment that goes something like this: “Even if he can taste all the flavors he describes…” LOL. Buddies, after smoking cigars for nearly 50 years, my palate is highly toned. Besides, I’ve gotten innumerable emails from readers who have told me they use my reviews to seek those flavors and have found that they were able to train their palates so as able to taste what I taste.

I smoked the first The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads after a heavy dinner and didn’t really notice the nicotine. So beware. This is not a morning cigar. Don’t be a putz like me by smoking it first thing without any food in your enormous belly.
I love this photo. What a gorgeous cigar:

And heeeeeere’s Johnny!
Flavors return. All of them. Including the roaring spiciness.
Flavor Bomb 2.0.

What is it about the last third that makes the blend so delicious? The sweet spot. I’ve never gotten a good answer. Maybe you can help me out?
Damn Sally. Delicious.

I start to turn towards the couch again but stop mid-turn.

The caramel, chocolate, malts, creaminess, nuts, and fruit are screaming laughter.
The Angel’s Anvil 2015 by Crowned Heads finishes beautifully. No harshness. No heat. No bitterness.
Snag some while you can.
Final smoke time is a little over 2 hours.
With an inch to go, I have to put it down. I have the spins.

RATING: 93

Wrapper: Connecticut River Valley Stalk Cut & Cured Sun Grown Habano
Binder: Plantation Grown Brazilian Mata Fina
Filler: Nicaraguan, Honduran
Size: 5 X 44 “Corona”
Body: Full
Price: $12.00
(I got the leaf stats from Halfwheel.com)

Today we take a look at the Liga Privada Único Serie Dirty Rat.
Thanks to Bryan Kinnaman for the cigar.

Famous Smoke sells boxes of 12 for $169.20
Superior Cigars sells boxes of 12 for $174.00
Look around to smaller online stores for more deals.

DESCRIPTION:
Release Date: August 2011
A very oily attractive cigar. The wrapper is the color of dark walnut wood. And the mottling gives it real distinction. Seams are invisible. And the tiny veins give it more character.
This little firecracker is solid. No under filling going on here. And lastly, the cutesy Cuban fan tail caps off a gorgeous cigar.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell cinnamon, sweet cream, fruit, and spice.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell dark chocolate, spice, cinnamon, cream, sweetness, fruit, strong cedar, and baked apples. (I saw that Halfwheel described the aroma of spicy apples and he nailed it. I taste my mother’s special occasions baked apples. Loved those growing up.
I manage to remove the cap without taking a single piece of tobacco from the top of the cigar which gives me the perfect yarmulke beanie cap with a propeller.

The cold draw presents flavors of cinnamon, spice, chocolate, cedar, and baked apples.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is pretty good but just a tad bit airy.
First up to bat: Chocolate, spiciness, creamy, malts, and some mysterious flavors at this early point I will discover later.

Right of the bat, complexity begins to roll in like a rogue wave. The Liga Privada Único Serie Dirty Rat wastes no time with the precious moments of its Corona size.

The pepper isn’t as strong as I’d hoped. Bryan never told me if he has had this cigar for quite a while or just recently acquired it. My opinion? He’s had it for a while. Hence; the lack of intense spiciness at the start.
Strength is medium/full.

Then Bang! Both the spiciness and creaminess smack a homer over the fence. Wow. From mere soft points to incredibly intense. And only an inch in.

I check my site stats regularly to see what review is getting how many hits and who is reading me, etc. I guess I joined a cigar forum. Don’t remember when. But I don’t think it was that long ago. Cigar Bum…I think. Well there is this very nice, compassionate thread on me called “Very Sad.” So I finally got my password squared away and thanked everyone in a post. The post apparently had to be reviewed before it is allowed to be posted. That was 24 hours ago. So I guess the Katman has been banned from his last cigar forum. LOL. But thank you to the nice fellas that had some kind words for me.

The airiness of the draw is back to normal. This stick is filled near perfect as it is a slow smoke.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 20 minutes.
Just before I started the second third, I got a major run. It forced me to torch about half an inch of wrapper to catch up to the bottom of the run. Then I let it rest so as to cool off and stop the progress of the run.

Time for the malts: Chocolate Rye Malt, Cara Munich Malt, Special B Malt, and Flaked Oats Malt. (See Malt Chart).

One more time: Creaminess, spice, chocolate, malts, caramel, rye, cinnamon, cedar, black walnuts, fruit, raisins, floral notes, and a touch of cappuccino.
Strength remains at medium/full.

This little bugger pushes smoke like a Gordo.
The Liga Privada Único Serie Dirty Rat is a complete cigar blend. It has all the characteristics of a cigar I love to smoke. The complexity is rich and decadent. The balance is on point. And it has a long, chewy finish….makes me smack my lips between puffs.

I’ve ruined my nasal passages from retrohaling. Burns like a mutter futter. All good things must come to an end.
Because it’s a corona, it has an intense flavor profile. But I would love to insert this intensity into a Toro.

Halfway point. Smoke time is 30 minutes.
I know that lately I’ve been stamping the reviewed cigars as flavor bombs. I try to avoid that phrase because I tend to use it too much but the Liga Privada Único Serie Dirty Rat is a true flavor bomb. Can’t help it.

The Liga Privada Único Serie Dirty Rat is a 9 on the Relax-O-Meter. This is a blend one savors every puff. Because with each puff, the blend brings something new to the table as the complexity keeps reaching.
So smooth.

For those that miss my rock stories at the end of each review, I’m sorry. But I’ve written hundreds and hundreds of them and I’m out of gas. I could go back and find ones that I’ve published half a dozen times but it is hard enough getting through just the review with my friggin’ brain disease. If you want to read any of the old stories, merely type in Phil Kohn bass, bass, Hal Blaine, Curved Air, Eddie Munster, Butch Patrick, etc. in the Search Window and it will bring up all the reviews with stories at the end.
Where was I?

I’ve been amending my Top 25 Cigars of 2015 as I’ve been reviewing cigars in January that came out in 2015. Or just change of mind. I should have gone rogue and provided a Top 50 Cigars of 2015. That would have been easier…because I left out some great cigars.

Some reviewers actually put cigars that cost $400 or more in their list. Now who the hell will ever have the chance to smoke one of those? Elitism. Plain and simple. “Look at me. I got a million dollar cigar because the manufacturer likes me.”

I made a real attempt to list cigars that were affordable. Yes, I took that into consideration. No point listing cigars that readers cannot afford.

Speaking of which, I shall review the Cohiba Black Gordo tomorrow. It’s been marinating for a couple of months and its ready. That’s a $20 cigar if you buy a single.

I’m doing this because I’m RUNNING OUT OF CIGARS! I have a couple cigars left that I can review and that’s it. So I will do the Cohiba and I’ve also been given the Chogüí Dos77 Rogusto but it needs some humi time.

Holy crap. Flavor Bomb 5.0!
A quantum leap just occurred while I was meandering.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Damn Willy boy. This is one magnificent blend. The highest rating I ever gave was the Dunbarton Tobacco & Trust Sobremesa Robusto Largo. I gave it a 98.
The Liga Privada Único Serie Dirty Rat is every bit as good…maybe better.

Bryan sent me an Ezra Zion The Collective. I believe it came out in 2014 otherwise it would have been in the top 10 of my list for 2015. He also sent me a Vivalo. Great cigar.

But the Vivalo folks made some pretty big promises to me and then reneged. For over a month or so, they kept giving me excuses. They also wanted to sponsor me. But every time I asked if they changed their mind, I got a bunch of lame excuses. But ask for an ad to post, and wham bam thank you ma’am, it was in my email box two minutes later.

I don’t abide by liars. And manufacturers that constantly lie to me don’t deserve a place on my Top 25 list. It’s not petty. It is being taken advantage of. If I had a dollar for every manufacturer that promised me things and then reneged, I’d be a wealthy man. Same goes for some readers. I don’t get it. They email me out of the blue with promises of a car load of care packages and then disappear. That’s just damn cruel. I have to whine. It’s in my DNA like all Jews.

I got a wonderful email and comment from Natasha of Gran Habano Cigars. It’s posted on my good bye post.
OK. My Alzheimer’s has me wandering all over the place.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is 45 minutes.
The Liga Privada Único Serie Dirty Rat is coming to an end. The problem with Coronas is that it’s tough to really finish them as they become too small. I’ve got cigar roach clips but they smash the shit out of the cap. Doesn’t make for a nice final photo.

I have a Xistix cigar holder and it seems to work fine by not crushing the end of the cigar. Nub, here I come. Here is a photo of the cigar clip. Not cheap at $25 but it works well.

Image processed by CodeCarvings Piczard ### FREE Community Edition ### on 2014-01-26 20:48:32Z | http://piczard.com | http://codecarvings.com

There is nothing left to say about this wonderful blend. It has everything.
If you can afford it, it is perfect for newbies and experienced smokers alike. While it is medium/full heading towards full body, it is so smooth that one doesn’t notice the strength. Plus there is no heat, no harshness and zero nicotine rush.

I can’t thank Bryan Kinnaman enough for gifting the Liga Privada Único Serie Dirty Rat to me. A great cigar to add to my catalog that will come to an end soon.
Final smoke time is an hour.

RATING: 98

Wrapper: Nicaraguan Habano
Binder: Honduran Connecticut (Talanga)
Filler: Nicaraguan (Seco, Viso, and Ligero)
Size: 7 x 50 “Churchill”
Body: Full
Price: $5.25 (On Sale at Famous Smoke $3.70)
Or $2.75 on Cigar Monster per stick in a 20 count box.

Photo courtesy of Famous Smoke Shop:

Today we take a look at Carnage Cigars from Famous Smoke Shop.
Thanks to a reader/friend for sending me some sticks.

Did my research and discovered it was a Famous Smoke Shop house blend by Nestor Plasencia.
I was skeptical and figured a cigar this cheap can’t be any good. At least not for the experienced smoker.
I was wrong. It is only for the experienced smoker as it hits full body in about 5 minutes.
He told me that he paid around $55 on Cigar Monster for a box of 20. At that time, Famous was selling the same box for $105.00. Now they have dropped it to $74.00 and the other sizes respectively. With the Katman 15% off promo code, it means a box is $62.90 or $3.15 per stick instead of the original $5.25 pre-sale price. Crazy.
Read further….

DESCRIPTION:
Made by Nestor Plasencia.
A very rustic looking wrapper. But seams are darn near invisible. Lots of veins both big and small. I believe it is adorned with a double cap. Executed nicely.
The wrapper is the color of russet brown with a decent amount of oiliness. And it feels very smooth to the touch.
The cigar band is simple and classy.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Churchill 7 x 50 $3.70
Magnum 6 x 60 $3.85
Robusto 5 x 54 $3.35
Toro 6 x 52 $3.50
All prices are current On Sale pricing.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell sweet fruit, spice, spice, cinnamon, and cedar.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell dark chocolate, strong spice, sweet fruit, cinnamon, cedar, maple syrup, and a strong cup of tea.
The cold draw presents flavors of dark cocoa, spice, tea, sweet fruit, cedar, cinnamon, and espresso.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is steady and slightly resistant. Good.
First flavors: Creaminess, chocolate, cinnamon, malts, caramel, cedar, sweetness, steak sauce, and tea.
Yeah, I know. This cigar surprised the hell out of me when I lit one up yesterday. My lovely friend, who wants to remain anonymous, has only had his box for a week or so. AND…I smoked this cigar near the end of the day when my palate was crispy and yet; the flavors came through loud and clear. So did the strength.

I had some burn issues so I will keep a careful eye open for them this morning for an ounce of prevention.
Strength immediately hits medium/full.
Flavors are boastful. I can tell, this early, that complexity is not far away. All this from a $3-$5 cigar. LOL.

If it gets as strong as it did last night, I may need to take a break and eat a bowl of cereal so I don’t keel over halfway through the cigar.
The burn line is dead nuts.

The only reviews I found were ones in which Famous gave the reviewer some cigars. No one, except for me, is doing it voluntarily. But believe me, this cigar is worth it. I’m sure the more experienced smoker is put off by the price. How can it be any good?

Cory at Famous has sent me sticks in the past that I had to pass on. I’m sure he will be happy to read this review. Didn’t cost him a thing.
Smoke is plentiful. And so are my words. If I am going to keep this essay less than 5,000 words, I better take breaks from writing this 7 x 50 stick.

So..how are you? The kids? The wife? Still a ball buster? And you parents? They still kickin’ it? Still disappointed in you because you didn’t meet their expectations in life?

Time for Led Zeppelin. “Latter Days” from “The Best of Led Zeppelin Volume Two.” Nothing soothes the big savage breast like the Zep.

The high today in the Milwaukee area will only reach 12°. Brrrr….
Go Packers. It is do or die today.

The whole point to Carnage Cigars is to provide an affordable yard ‘gar. In my opinion, it does more than that. It makes for a nice change of pace. It’s flavorful. It will make you go doo doo in your pants from the strength. And you can hand them out to your mooch friends who will be duly impressed.
Fuck! I just dropped the entire ash on top of my camera that is hanging from my neck. That’s it. No more hanging the camera from my neck because it is easier this way. If and when the camera dies, the autopsy will show about 4oz of cigar ash in it.

I’m impressed that I’m not having a lick of trouble with the burn line.
And here are the malts: Chocolate Rye Malt, Mild Ale Malt, Coffee Malt, and Crystal/Caramel Malt. (See Malt Chart).
New flavors: Rye bread, golden raisins, and graham cracker.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 35 minutes.
Strength is a might full bodied.
My toupee is spinning on my head and my moustache wax melted and is now covering the camera. (Old habits).

This is a damn fine cigar. You need to own a box. Keep an eye out on Cigar Monster. And even now, the sale on these cigars plus the Katman discount makes it a deal.
Carnage Cigars is new. And word of mouth will make this a keeper. I believe the sale is to get the word out. Because it really is a good blend. And you know how picky I am. I am sure you are just as picky.
And for a Toro, it is pumping out flavors like a Corona. Nice.

I had burn issues with the first one I smoked. Not a single touch up required with this one. Not one.
Construction is top notch with no errant wrapper seams.
Maybe next month, Charlotte will nod her head in disgust and I can snag a box on Cigar Monster. I can easily see smoking this stick a lot.

The flavors: Creaminess, chocolate, graham cracker, malts, caramel, raisins, spice, cinnamon, cedar, and rye bread.
That’s a lot of rye bread lately. Maybe my Jewish DNA is telling me something. That I am craving a good loaf of Jewish rye bread. Not the crap in the super market, but the good stuff from a good bakery. Dense and full of caraway seeds and when toasted is perfect for butter and preserves. Yum. (There. I had my meal).

I dredged up an old story I’ve published a few times but it was easily found and I haven’t posted in at least a year. And I’ve gotten a bunch of new readers since then.
The Carnage Cigars blend is super smooth for such a powerful cigar.
The complexity is spot on. Balance is great. A long, long finish.
The waning spiciness returns. My tongue burns.

A sip of water and new flavors wash over my palate: gingerbread, nutmeg, and maple syrup.
Yes. I taste all these flavors. Now. I wonder what the Carnage will taste like in a couple of months. Hi-Dee-Ho!
Halfway point. Smoke time is 50 minutes.

This has to be the creamiest cigar I’ve smoked in quite some time. It reminds me of a chocolate malt milk shake.
The Carnage has been a true joy to smoke.
And now for the nicotine part of our show. Oy vey.

The blend is definitely not for newbies. Their bodies will be found on the side of the road somewhere in Idaho.
But if you like your cigar blends strong and flavorful, this is your baby.

I’ve had online stores send me $3-$4 cigars and they were just horrible. As I’m sure you have experienced the same thing.
This is the first, to my memory (Yeah, sure), that is this inexpensive and yet smokes like a great boutique blend. Blind taste test would have me guessing it is an $8 cigar.
How’s that for an endorsement?

Perfect construction. Perfect char line. Complex. And muy flavorful.
I wouldn’t say it is a flavor bomb. But its flavor profile is substantial and never loses my interest.
I was going to review a $20 Cohiba Black today until I smoked the Carnage last night.
Godamm! As the cigar progresses, it just becomes unbearably good. I’m not fucking around when I say this is a great cigar. Kudos Señor Plasencia.

I check Famous Smoke’s auction web site, Cigar Auctioneer, and it doesn’t have the Carnage.
Shit. I just checked the weather online. I was wrong. It ain’t 12°.
It’s 0°. Fuck me!
The Carnage needs its first minor touch up.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour and 20 minutes.
The Carnage is so good that time has flown by. Normally, a two hour cigar is too much for me and I get bored. But this blend continues to climb the stairway to heaven with each puff.

The sun comes out. When I got up at 7am, it was still dark out. I just can’t sleep any longer than that. I love rushing downstairs to start my review. Damn. I’m going to miss this. Maybe with the right cigars, I will come back now and then. All dependent on my health.
The Carnage is a friggin’ candy bar.
The nicotine never really took hold.

The Carnage ends with no complaints or criticisms. Cool to the touch. Solid. Just a great cigar for the price.
Final smoke time is approximately two hours.
I put it down with an inch to go. I’m tired.

RATING: 90

And now for something completely different:

This is an old story that I published a year or two ago; so I thought I would give it another spin around the turntable.

I was playing in the Todd Hart Band. A power blues trio. We moved to Mesa in 1991 and stayed until 2000. I played with Todd from 1997-1999.
Todd did the music thing to make a living so we played out a lot. And I went to work in the mornings bleary eyed. Todd had an amazing voice. He even spent time with the English blues band, Savoy Brown.
I played with the band for a little over 2 years. We went through drummers like Spinal Tap. Although, I don’t remember any of them disappearing into thin air on stage.

We started playing Hell’s Angels gigs; a lot. They loved us. But I didn’t love them. Scum..real scum. Todd had a neighbor that was a high up muckity muck with the biker gang.

And then lucky us, we became the official Hells Angels band of Arizona. See, they had just moved into Arizona in the late 90’s. They incorporated a lot of the outlaw bike clubs.
Now as you probably know, Arizona is the wild west when it comes to guns. You can carry openly and you can carry concealed.

I always wore a Blues Brothers-type black coat. In the small of my back, I carried my .45 caliber Glock 30. A subcompact. 10 +1 Rounds. But I had an extended mag so it was 13 + 1.

Whatever club we played, the Angels had taken over for the night and the parking lot had hundreds of bikes.
So a coterie of Angles took turns guarding them. With guns in plain sight. The scary part was that none of these guys knew anything about guns. They just like carrying them; especially in the Don Johnson type shoulder holster.

One night, during a break, I walked outside and began talking to a few of them with carrying the shoulder holsters. I asked them to show me how they would draw the gun. And every one of them did it wrong.

If you pull the gun horizontally, you sweep the area as you bring it towards your target. Not good. Studies have shown that in an adrenaline situation, you pull the trigger 2.5 times before it is aimed at the target. So sweeping the gun means you shoot innocent bystanders.

So I showed them how to do it properly by pulling the gun out, dropping it immediately nose first to the ground, then in a twisting motion, bring it up to the aiming position without sweeping it.
They all slapped me on the back and thanked me.

And then it hit me.
These guys are famous for drugs and gun running. There had to be at least one undercover ATF agent in the bunch. And he had just watched me tell the Angels how to shoot their adversaries properly.

A month later, I quit the band.

That’s the band with me in the far right background wearing a ball cap and wearing my electric upright bass like a bass guitar:

Wrapper: Nicaraguan Habano
Binder: Nicaraguan Habano
Filler: Nicaraguan (Ligero, Viso)
Size: 6 x 50 “Toro”
Body: Full
Price: $4.75 MSRP (Currently on Sale at Famous Smoke for $3.65)
(Remember: With the KATMAN promo code, you get 15% off any purchase over $75.00.)

Photo courtesy of Famous Smoke Shop:

Today we take a look at the Inferno 3rd Degree by Oliva.
This is a new house brand from Famous Smoke Shop.
Thank you to Cory Grover, of Famous Smoke, for the samples.

The Inferno 3rd Degree follows the Famous Smoke 2012 release of Inferno and the 2014 release of Inferno Flashpoint.
It seems I’m the last reviewer to review this cigar. I found 2-1/2 Google pages full of reviews. And all Famous supplied cigars. I must have been an afterthought…maybe an afterbirth?

DESCRIPTION:
From Famous Smoke Shop web site:
“Inferno 3rd Degree Cigars are here to stoke the ember of our collective passion of cigars by lighting our taste buds on fire with an assault of complex flavors, and a blast of 4 alarm strength. This Oliva original cigar is an all Nicaraguan stogie featuring only premium triple-fermented tobaccos, all encased in an eye-opening Habano seed wrapper.”

The wrapper’s appearance varies greatly from one stick to another. One is nearly seamless with very few veins and a couple big veins.
Another has veins that look those from a body builder’s arms. Not to mention, it is extremely lumpy and bumpy with depressions in the stick where the filler is not adequate.
I pick the nice looking stick to review.

It does have a triple cap; rare on inexpensive cigars. The oily wrapper is the color of a reddish tinted dark pecan wood. The wrapper is silky smooth.
The cigar band is simple and if not for the little number 3° in a circle with different color stripes, this could easily be confused with the original.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Robusto: 5 x 50 $4.55 MSRP
Toro: 6 x 50 $4.75 MSRP
Double Toro: 6 x 60 $5.15 MSRP
Churchill: 7 x 50 $4.95 MSRP
No prices reflect current On Sale pricing.
Comes in boxes of 20, 10 packs, 5 packs, and Singles. All on sale. And with a box purchase, you get a free 5 pack.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell wonderful dark cocoa with marshmallows, oak, spice, fruit, dark espresso, and sweetness.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell super dark chocolate candy bar, very strong spice, peppermint, coffee, oak, and sweetness.
The cold draw presents flavors of creaminess, cinnamon, spice, chocolate, oak, and honey.

FIRST THIRD:
This will be my first cigar of the samples sent. I believe I received them a few weeks ago; not sure.
The draw is excellent.
First flavors up: Big dose of creaminess, chocolate, spice, lots of malts, coffee, honey, floral notes, and oak.
Delicious right out of the gate. Good sign.
Strength is medium body.

The peppermint aroma did not translate to flavor. Too bad. But Charlotte, from across the room actually asks me what I’m smoking? “It smells good.” I’m plotzing. You know how many times I’ve heard that from her? Maybe twice in a gazillion years.

And then, in the back of my throat, (with the stick resting in the ashtray), I can just barely taste a nuance of peppermint. If I had shut up and let my palate do the work, I might have tasted this before writing I didn’t taste it. Make any sense? Sorry. I’m insane. Alzheimer’s. I crack myself up sometimes.
The malts become very strong, nearly overtaking other main flavors.

The red pepper turns everything topsy turvy. Wow! A pepper bomb! My eyes water, my shnoz runs, and my ears are leaking brain capacity. I love it!!
I’m very impressed that the Inferno 3rd Degree has started aggressively so quickly.

If the Inferno 3rd Degree continues on this path, I will be forced to highly recommend it. And would love to own some myself. My kind of blend. Nothing fancy but substantial flavors and good balance and nice finish. With plenty of power and spice.

I didn’t choose the stick that looked under filled or just pushed in. I do believe that it may have some warehouse clown’s thumbprint on it from grabbing it too hard because the one I’m smoking is solidly packed. A very slow smoke. And the bumpy stick feels just as solid so I take back that I think it is under filled.

Isn’t it thrilling to read this idiot’s review in real time? No going back and correcting myself so I don’t look stupid. If I behave stupid, well then…you get to see the real me. Not a copywriter.
Plus, due to stream of consciousness style of writing, you get to read a 25,000 word novel.

Orange citrus enters the picture. Nice tartness that balances well with the generic sweetness.
And then either a touch of caramel or toffee. I have trouble remembering the difference.
I have trouble remembering if I put underwear on in the morning.

The stick moves towards medium/full.

This morning’s music selection is “The Fabulous Thunderbirds – Live” from 2001. With my great headphones, it is kicking ass. The drummer is my high school mate, Stephen Hodges. We played in bands together right until I left for Europe in the early 70’s. He went on to fame and has played with some killer big time bands. And still does as well as teach music at the college in Long Beach.

He got a lot of attention early, and discovered by Tom Waits, because he used a real 36° diameter marching drum for his kick drum. He was nearly hidden behind that thing.

I’m finding some real complexity. Characteristics keep changing like on the wheel of fortune. I’m getting nice floral notes, then the fruity sweetness, then the big time malts, then chocolate, etc.
Strength is definitely medium/full with 1-1/2” burned

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 25 minutes.
I’m doing the bop in my chair as I listen to this kick ass music. I love the blues. All I played the last 20 years or so. The hell with classic rock cover bands. Or tribute bands.

Here they are: Spice, chocolate, creaminess, malts, floral notes, fruity sweetness, raisins, black cherry, coffee, oak, caramel, and the lightest touch of peppermint.
I really like this cigar. Thank you Cory.

Cory also sent me the behemoth CAO Flathead Steel Horse Bullneck. 6.5 x 66. I don’t know how anyone managed to review this cigar fairly without several months of humidor time. Fortunately, a reader sent me a few of its little brother; the Apehanger: 5.5 x 58. I smoked one the other day and the last half was pretty good so I shall review it towards the end of January. And tell you this is what Cory sent me.

The shift is beginning to occur to full body as I feel a bit light headed.
Transitions aren’t as plentiful as I would like but the Inferno 3rd Degree still tastes good.

Here are the usual suspects: Chocolate Rye Malt, Crystal/Caramel Malt, and Honey Malt. (See Malt Chart).

Honey seems to morph from the caramel womb.
It’s alive! Run! It’s alive!!

The halfway point.
Smoke time is 35 minutes.

Oh yeah…OK now…yeah…The Inferno 3rd Degree has reached very, very full body.
It’s just like the late 60’s again. The pictures on the wall are melting. I see my dead relatives motioning me to the bright light. Whew. And I’m only halfway through. Oy Gevalt!!

But then a blast of flavors occur. Transitions are running wild and need to be herded into a corral before they run off.
Coffee, malts, floral notes, honeysuckle, and creaminess are doing the Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. Or the Tea Cup ride. Either one guaranteed to make you blow chunks. I was such a wuss growing up in Long Beach. Going to Disneyland all the time. Once on each of those rides taught me a lesson. Don’t go on them again.
I find myself levitating. I’m about a foot off the ground.
Now this is a good cigar!

Probably should have eaten something.

I think I’m going blind. Oh wait. My eyes were closed.

The Inferno 3rd Degree is veering towards a third act flavor bomb status.
The peppermint becomes very strong now. No subtlety. Way out front.
Actually, it’s not peppermint. It’s wintergreen.

Man, Oliva did us smokers a real solid with this blend. Who needs La Bomba? The Inferno 3rd Degree makes that blend seem like a Macanudo.
Remember the warning underneath the box lid of the La Bombas? Ha.

The Inferno 3rd Degree should come with a defibrillator. (Why am I having pain in my left arm?)

Just checked the weather. It is -15° at 9am. Double Brrr….We just beat the 3rd Degree by 18°.

This is two reviews in a row that are Famous Smoke house blends. Both excellent cigars. I was just getting into the groove with Famous and before I can blink, it will all be over.

The flavor profile is pretty damn good. And with only a few weeks of humi time. Very unusual for Oliva. Normally, their blends take months. New Breed love.

The construction, despite its funky appearance has been top notch. The char line only required one minor touch up.

Once again, my argument that a really good cigar need not cost $12, has come to fruition.
I check Cigar Monster, and while it doesn’t have either the Inferno 3rd Degree or the Carnage, it has a really nice selection of good cigars. “If I were a rich man…”

A side bar…Many thanks to Jim Grande for the care package yesterday. Most certainly appreciated.
The Inferno 3rd Degree is a blend I can highly recommend.

Famous Smoke has a sale on now and savings are between 23%-33%. Now is the time to strike.
And don’t forget the Katman promo code for 15% off $75 purchases. The Churchill MSRP is normally $4.95. With the sale, they are $3.80. With the 15% promo code, they are $3.23 per stick. Ridiculously crazy.

I was sent the original Inferno a few months ago, and while a good cigar, the Inferno 3rd Degree is a quantum leap. Never had the opportunity to smoke the Inferno Flashpoint.

The nicotine is not as strong as expected. But still a third to go.
Make sure if you snag some Inferno 3rd Degree cigars, eat a hefty meal first.

Transitions are hot and heavy now. Excellent balance. And a very nice finish. Lip smackin’ good.
Raisins really come to the surface now. The minty element has all but disappeared. Probably killed off by the full body.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is 50 minutes.
I’m truly impressed with the construction. I’ve been having trouble with some of my very few good cigars. The burn lines needed a ton of corrections. Not the Inferno 3rd Degree. Makes a big difference in the enjoyment of a cigar.

Newbies: Do not try this at home.
The sun comes out. It is blinding outside with the sun reflecting the snow.

The Inferno 3rd Degree is just touching the hem of becoming a flavor bomb.
The nicotine has died down…either that, or I have brain damage.
The complexity is full throttle.

I don’t understand the reviews that thought this was a blah blend. It is the farthest thing from the truth. I guess you have to chalk it up to the palate.

But if you have a good palate, then you will certainly dig the Inferno 3rd Degree. No one tasted the flavors I do. A couple came close. But that’s OK. Famous saved the best reviewer for last.
When you buy some, make sure you tell Famous the Katman sent you. Even better, buy a box and use the promo code. They will know for sure.

I can count on one hand the cigar blends as good as the Inferno 3rd Degree for the ridiculously low price.
My only astute observation is that Oliva should have put out a Corona. That would have been a real ball buster. Although, maybe Oliva was thinking about saving lives by not releasing it in a smaller size.

This has been a really good time. Never lost interest.
The end of the stick stays firm. No heat or harshness. But it does see a big uptick in spiciness.
Thank you Cory.
Final smoke time is one hour 10 minutes.

RATING: 89

NOTE: Peter Leviten. Please email me. I have some questions. Thanks.

Wrapper: Dominican Chateau de la Fuente Sun Grown
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Dominican
Size: 7 x 48 “Reserve D’Chateau- Churchill”
Body: Medium
Price: $26.15 MSRP

Today we take a look at the Fuente Fuente OpusX Angel’s Share Reserve D’Chateau.
This is the Churchill size of the Angel’s Share line that is made up of four sizes.
Thanks to Peter Leviten for this wonderful cigar. He has had it in his possession for one year.

BACKGROUND:
Factory: Tabacalera A. Fuente y Cia
Originally released: 2012

From the Arturo Fuente web site:
“The term “Angel’s Share” is used in the wine making process. Wine makers often use oak barrels to store their wine during the aging process. When the wine ages for long periods of time, some of it will evaporate from the barrel. The evaporated wine is called Angel’s Share, alluding to the belief that the guardian angels that watch over the wine, sample it, and give it their blessings.

“Since we lost so much priceless tobacco during fire in 2012, the inspiration for this cigar came from that exact term. The warehouses that burned down contained tobacco that had been aging since the late 40’s and 50’s. The Fuente family was saving for the special 100 year anniversary. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be as the fire consumed much of the precious tobacco. It made the family extremely sad and depressed, but out of that came the Angel’s Share cigar. From this it is implied that the angels enjoyed the enticing aroma of the tobacco that burned in the barns, but in turn, gave their blessings to the Fuente family for future successful endeavors.”

DESCRIPTION:
In the sunlight, the wrapper is the color of caramel. It has a soft box press.
The triple cap is impeccable. Seams are tight. Not a lot of veins. The wrapper feels like velvet.
The stick is solid with perfect amount of give when squeezed.
The famous cigar band sits atop a secondary band that merely says: Angel’s Share. Very classy. And should be for the price.
I realize it would probably take an act of God to find this cigar unless you have a great relationship with your local B & M. But I want my last month of reviewing to add some great cigars I never had the chance to review that adds to my catalog.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Reserve D’Chateau 7 x 48 Churchill $26.15 MSRP
Fuente Fuente 5.626 x 46 Grand Corona $16.45 MSRP
Perfecxion X 6.25 x 48 Toro $20.25 MSRP
Robusto 5.25 x 50 $18.49 MSRP

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell a floral sweetness, cedar, peanuts, and dried fruit.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell very strong peanut element, floral notes, cedar, dried fruit, and cappuccino.
The cold draw presents flavors of spice, cinnamon, sweet floral notes, cedar, nuts, and coffee.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is a bit airy for my tastes. It is a light cigar. No fish weights used to make it feel heavier. (You didn’t know that some manufacturers did this?)

Out of the gate: Creaminess, black pepper, cinnamon, graham cracker, roasted nuts, coffee, cedar, citrus, green tea, and a small dose of floral notes.

When the care package arrived a couple days ago, the sticks felt like Popsicles. As I did some research, I could hear one’s wrapper making crackling noises. So I immediately glued the errant wrapper and put the cigars in my humidor. Didn’t open it til this morning when I decided to review this OpusX.
By the way. In all my years smoking cigars. In all my years, I’ve only smoked one Opus X. In writing that review on June 9, 2013, I decided to steal that after-review story for this review. Just a very short ditty.

The draw improves dramatically. I allowed it to rest for 2-3 minutes while I transferred the story. And it seems to have coalesced the blend.
The Fuente Fuente OpusX Angel’s Share Reserve D’Chateau could stand to have a little more filler in it as it seems to be burning quickly.
Or maybe it’s just its age and the cigar’s filler has shrunk a bit. I don’t know what I’m saying. I have Alzheimer’s. (I believe I can now use that as an excuse for every dumb shit thing I do from now on.)

The ash is very fine and delicate. The burn line is a bit wavy…probably from its trip from Peter’s house in the bush of Alaska. He can see Russia from his hut.

This is an excellent cigar. But then you knew that as I am probably the last shnook on earth to smoke one of these.

Some lemon citrus appears. Flavors are gentle and subtle. No big bang theory happening here. The cigar is advertised as medium body. I’m sure after a few years’ humidor time; it has been reduced to mild/medium body. And a lot of oomph and zest has dissipated.

If I had blind taste tested this…well, at this point I’d say it is nice but nothing special. But methinks that I’m going to be very happily surprised very soon. Of course, I’ve been on a campaign dressing down both the Fuentes and the Padrons for the ridiculous pricing on their cigars. They have accomplished what Reverend Moon accomplished but on a bigger scale. Or maybe Jim Jones without the grape Kool-Aid.

I found this cigar’s ratings on all five sizes. The robusto only got an 88. This cigar got a 92.
The strength is mild body with 1-1/2” burned. The major flavors are graham cracker and creaminess.

I’m getting cracks in the wrapper. From the cold, of course. I wanted to review the cigars Peter sent me one after another (6 or 7 cigars) but I think they need to settle for a week or so and let them heal from the trip across Antarctica.

At 2” burned, the ash falls off. For a cigar I accused of not being filled correctly, it sure made a fool of me.
And then snap! Flavors are emboldened. Complexity kicks in. The balance is up to something. And the finish is finally producing.
Everything kicks into high gear. Even the strength hits a strong medium body.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 40 minutes.

When I told Charlotte how much these cigars cost that Peter sent me, she said, “Sell them. Sell them!! We can eat!”
I stood there like Superman with my arms bent and my fists on my hips with my chest jutted out and said, “Woman. We don’t sell cigars in this household. They are my treasure. And you, my little bag lady, can sell all those jewels I bought you over 30 years+ of marriage. That should get us a 24 pack of Top Ramen.”

It seems that CA loves the Padron family but no so much the Fuente family. I check ratings over the years and the OpusX really doesn’t show up with the regularity that the Padron fancy shmancy blends do.

The glue on both cigar bands act as if they were welded there. Removing them in one piece is near impossible.
The Fuente Fuente OpusX Angel’s Share Reserve D’Chateau is a superb blend but folks, it ain’t worth $26.00. No cigar is worth $26.00. Smoke and mirrors…smoke and mirrors.

Yeah, I’m digging it but if you look at my Top 25 Cigars of 2015, I’d say most of those sticks; especially the top 10 are better than this blend. And they cost nowhere near the price of this cigar.

But it sure is fun smoking one. I don’t feel like the evergreen virgin any longer.
The halfway point. Smoke time is one hour.

Here they are: Creaminess, nuts, spice, graham cracker, cinnamon, tea, citrus, floral notes, golden raisins, and a whole bunch of flavors so subtle that I have no idea what they are.

Maybe that’s why this cigar is so expensive. It appeals to smokers with much better palates than mine and can taste the nuances I cannot taste.

This morning’s musical selection started out with Curved Air “Live.” I haven’t listened to that album in a decade. Damn. I was a great bassist. LOL.
Then, I move on to The Temptations. Perfect transition.

Then, like the proverbial light switch, the Fuente Fuente OpusX Angel’s Share Reserve D’Chateau soars like an eagle.
Strength is medium/full body.
And the flavor profile is just killer.
Holy shit. It is really a shame that it took half the cigar to get here but I’m glad it did because it made all the difference.

A reader, Jim Turecamo, placed a comment on my good-bye post; finally answering my quest about why the cigar gets better with humidor time. He is a chemist and his description makes sense to me:
“Since you have given us so much of your knowledge about cigars, I figure I could give you some of what I have researched, discovered, and theorized. I am a chemist, but more than that a scientist. I remember you saying no one has ever explained why cigars need to rest for a certain amount of time before you can smoke them.

“What I have found and you probably already know is tobacco goes through a lot of fermentation, some of it high temperature and some of it as a pile of leaves left to age at low temperature for varied amount of time. During these stages, different bacteria are digesting the tobacco getting rid of the things we don’t want to varying degrees.

“What most people don’t realize is there is another process that is occurring after the cigars are rolled and exposed to air. This process is conducted by yet another set of bacteria. During the cigar’s “dumb” phase, the populations of these bacteria slowly increase and yield the flavors and sweetness we eventually observe. This process continues until the cigar has no more reserves of food for the bacteria.

This is why a cigar slowly loses its strength over years. Some manufacturers ship cigars right after rolling and we have to sit on them waiting for the bacteria to get going. Others hold onto the cigars until the process has finished or they are good to smoke, even though it never really finishes. I am currently trying to reduce the amount of resting time by jump starting the bacteria by warming the cigars. It also helps to reduce some of the fermentation by products from tobacco being stored in the piles. I hope this answers your question. I will miss your reviews and I wish I had your palate.”

Thank you Jim.
The spiciness has become red pepper now. My tongue feels like I kissed a habanero.
The strength really gives the blend some oomph.
The citrus goes from lemon to orange. Every flavor, earlier listed, is a hand grenade with the pin pulled.

I believe this cigar would have tasted better in a robusto, but according to CA, not so.
They really liked this Churchill.
They show the MSRP at $15.50. I guess the price has gone up as they disappeared.
Chocolate finally shows itself. Completes the picture.
The strength is now a solid medium/full. And a bit of nicotine rears its head.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 20 minutes.
One thing I noticed doing research is how many names this cigar is given. The word “Fuente” is bandied about at the beginning..at the end…or twice.

I am using the Cigar Aficionado version: Fuente Fuente OpusX Angel’s Share Reserve D’Chateau.

This really is a great cigar. But I don’t understand the reasoning behind the expensive price point. Why make cigars for only those that make the big dough? I don’t know if it is a chicken or egg theory. Did the OpusX become legendary because of the price or because of the blends?

Sure, I imagine they are all excellent cigars. But look at all the boutique manufacturers pumping out spectacular cigars without all that hoopla of some mysterious story behind it.

I believe my top 10 cigars all cost under $12. And the Fuente Fuente OpusX Angel’s Share Reserve D’Chateau isn’t top 10 material. I can’t really use the Cigar Aficionado top 25 cigars or their monthly ratings seriously. How many of you get the magazine on a regular basis, turn to the ratings pages, and then laugh out loud? The Nub actually made the top 25 of 2015. WTF?

I believe most experienced smokers think something fishy is going on here. When I read the monthly ratings, I sometimes recoil in horror. LOL. They make a big deal about how they blind taste test these cigars. But do they really? It’s one of the best kept secrets in the cigar business. Sometimes, I agree with them but mostly, I don’t.

As far as the Fuente Fuente OpusX Angel’s Share Reserve D’Chateau, I think it deserves a 92. Although, it wasn’t til the last half that it really kicked in. Most cigars lose something after a year or so of humidor time. Others don’t and become better.
Because my stick waited til the second half to really stand out, my rating will be lower than CA’s. Still, a very good blend.

I’ve got a couple other OpusX blends from Peter that I plan to review. Neither of which I knew about. But then I don’t shop for OpusX cigars. I’m very naïve when it comes to the highly priced blends.
Still, a good cigar. Should I recommend you pay $26 for this? Hell no. Even at $15, it is a quandary.

RATING: 90

And now for something completely different:

I was 15 when my grandfather lost my grandmother. I don’t mean he lost her…I mean she passed. He decided to take me to Europe and Israel that coming summer. An 8 week journey during my vacation from school.

It was made up of a group from a synagogue out of L.A. There were almost 50 people on the tour. Of those 50, there were 5 teens, including me. Within a couple weeks, I had my first girlfriend: Frieda. She was Polish, but born in the U.S. Her parents were Auschwitz survivors with the infamous tattoos on their forearms. Frieda was also 15.

Photo is Frieda and I atop the Eiffel Tower:

I learned to kiss that summer. And I found out what second base was.
We spent our first three weeks in Israel and I can remember everything about it to this day. It had a huge impact on me.

In France, we did all the tourist attractions. The trip to the top of the Eiffel Tower was the big highlight for me. Prior to climbing the tower, I bought a hot dog from a vendor with a cart. The buns were hard rolls. The vendor had a stainless steel rod with a pointy top. He slammed the roll on to the top of the rod, creating a hole down the center to accommodate the wiener; but he would first place your condiments inside, and then the wiener.

What I didn’t know was that French mustard was awash in horseradish.

I held on to my hot dog til we got to the top. We kids always hung together. So we all stood at the railing, looking down. I was the only chazer who bought a dog. I ate all the time and stayed as skinny as a rail.

I took a big bite out of my dog and the horseradish squirted into my mouth and did a huge number on me, mostly due to shock and awe. I have never had French mustard at this point in my life, and without thinking, I threw the whole thing over the railing; and then in horror, watched as it gently wafted to the ground from 1000 feet above.

Everyone screamed. I just let loose of a wiener missile that would embed itself in some poor tourist’s head. I could see the newspaper the next day. “Filthy American kills Child with Filthy Wiener in a Roll.”

It seemed to take forever as the hot dog headed towards ground zero. None of us could even breathe. There were hundreds of people down there milling about and the roll missed all of them. I fell to the floor with my back against the rail and took a deep breath. Not a murderer today, Kohn.

In the passing years, the French put up a wire net to keep people from throwing shit and from committing suicide.
Good idea.

This will be the last time I ask for help.
I have thousands of followers.
I get an average of over 5000 hits per day.

And I’m not getting the medical coverage I deserve. Thanks to all the wonderful emails and comments I’ve received. Very kind and compassionate.

I need two things:
1. Money, moolah, cash, dough, shekels. The simple fact is I’ve got something more serious than just Middle Stage Alzheimer’s as my black outs appear to show. Medicare don’t pay shit and doctors and hospitals hate Medicare patients. I don’t have a supplemental policy because they put a pre-exisiting caveat in every policy. So it would do me no good plus I can’t afford the decent ones.

2. I need cigars. Cigars to smoke. I’m not able to buy cigars. Every single dime we can save goes into a savings account for medical procedures I will need and need now. I don’t need $15 boutique blends. Just some good decent smokes. My life is shit. My lucidity while writing hides how sick I really am. Cigars are truly the only happiness I have left. And my family of course. But without cigars, I might as well just say fuck it. They mean that much to me.

I know everyone has their own baggage and problems. But if you’ve been reading me for awhile, what’s $10? Or a care package of cigars from your stash? If all my readers sent me $10 and cigars, I’d be in good shape. Instead, the number of readers that have come to my aid are no more than a couple dozen.
Think of this as a Katman Review Tax. I don’t need a lot. Just a lot of people.

I will never ask again. But the end is near and I won’t be able to bring a little joy into your life anymore. It is killing me that I can no longer function. It kills me knowing I’m giving this up. I will feel like Moses roaming the desert for 40 years every morning I don’t write. But it’s best to get out while I can still hold a thought in my head…for a few moments anyway.

So, please help me anyway you can.

My contact information is on the right side of the page.

Thank you
Love and respect,
Phillip The Katman Kohn

Wrapper: Mexican San Andrés
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Dominican
Size: 6 x 56 “Box Pressed – Belicoso”
Body: Full
Price: $9.95

Today we take a look at the .50 Caliber Double Ligero by Rolling Thunder Cigars.
Thanks to Dave Cribbin for the samples.

DESCRIPTION:
This is a nice looking stick but yet very rustic. The rolling nearly looks like free hand style. Lots of lumps and bumps. But seams are very tight and lots of small veins.
The wrapper is a nicely mottled chocolate walnut color.
The sticks are extremely solid but give perfectly when gently squeezed.
And the stick has a nice, soft box press. Not easy to roll from a box press into a torpedo or belicoso.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell shaved coconut, chocolate, spice, coffee, sweet floral notes, cedar, and lemon citrus.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell barnyard, chocolate, spice, black walnuts, espresso, lemon zest, cedar, and floral notes.
The cold draw presents flavors of chocolate, very strong red pepper, nuts, minty, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
For such a packed cigar, the draw is excellent.
Subtle notes of cocoa, spice, coffee, sweetness, and creaminess.

I expected a pepper bomb but didn’t get it. I figured a cigar dubbed “Double Ligero” would start with a real punch. It doesn’t.
Lots of smoke pours from the foot.

I’ve reviewed the Rolling Thunder .50 Caliber Natural Wrapper Double Robusto, the Rolling Thunder .50 Caliber Maduro Double Robusto, and the Rolling Thunder .50 Caliber Connecticut Shade Double Robusto. All excellent blends. The only differences are that there are generally just two sizes. The 5 x 60 and the 6 x 60. But then I check the RTC web site and they only sell the 5 x 60 now. I even believe they had a Double Corona at 7 x 60. But that’s gone.
Cigars can be purchased in 5, 10, and 20 packs.

Those three blends, plus today’s review, comprise the entire line. And you can purchase them all directly from the manufacturer on the Rolling Thunder Cigars web site.

Not much is happening as this cigar smokes oh so slowly. The burn line is giving me some issues. I find myself correcting it now for the third time. So I’m going to let it rest for a few minutes.

There is yellow melon flavor at the back of my throat. Or maybe Charlotte tried to kill me in my sleep last night by shoving a cantaloupe down my throat? Might explain the seeds stuck in my teeth when I woke up.

I expect the .50 Caliber Double Ligero by Rolling Thunder Cigars to be a 2+ hour smoke so I shall dally about and come back as transitions occur.

I’m 1-1/4” into the cigar and I gotta tell you that the .50 Caliber Double Ligero by Rolling Thunder Cigars is bland. I’ve had the two cigars that Dave Cribbin sent me for about a couple weeks or so. I’m beginning to think this is Old School blending style. Not the New Breed style. In other words, the Double Ligero probably needs months of humidor time.

This problem was that with two sticks, one must guess when it’s ready. You must have a backup during the review in case something goes south on you.
The burn line just won’t cooperate. I am constantly putting torch to foot to fix things.

I’m sure the last third will reveal what the cigar is supposed to taste like with proper humidor time.
Half an inch from the start of the second third, flavors perk up. Like a blossoming flower, the flavors become distinct and interesting.

We’ve got caramel, chocolate, coffee, nuts, toastiness, creaminess, malts, cedar, and fruity sweetness.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 40 minutes.
I’m getting an ammonia element. This cigar was sold before it was ready to smoke.
Flavors go back to being blah.

I don’t get it. I reviewed the other three RTC blends with only a couple, three weeks on them and they were great. I am really disappointed.

This is exactly the reason you read reviews in which the end result isn’t very good. Either the reviewer only bought one cigar or the manufacturer sent one or two cigars. I tell all my contacts that if you want me to review a cigar, I get a 5 pack. This isn’t greed. It’s smart. I can go through the 5 pack in different intervals so I can decide when the cigar is at its peak and ready to review.
I can’t begin to count the suppliers that go along with this and as the relationship matures, they begin to send less. First its only 3 or 4 sticks. Then it’s only a couple.

They don’t get it. You send two cigars and then expect my crystal ball to working perfectly. No advice was given to wait a month or two months or 5 months before I smoke and review.

So I don’t pay the price…the manufacturer does. He gets a lousy review. Or I choose not to publish it as a courtesy. My last 28 days as a reviewer are dear to me. And I ain’t wasting a single day on courtesy. It is what it is.

The ammonia taste is bad. Do I let it rest or do I end the review here and now? If the ammonia doesn’t dissipate soon, I’m putting the review to bed. And I will come back to it in a couple of weeks.
At this point, I’d say this has been a big disaster.

Dave, you should have told me that a week, a couple weeks or longer was needed for this blend. But it never should have been shipped with the ammonia still lurking in the blend. Inexcusable. (There goes another bridge burned).

The .50 Caliber Double Ligero by Rolling Thunder Cigars is unsmokeable.
I’m not going to rate the cigar.

Wrapper: Cuban
Binder: Cuban
Filler: Cuban
Size: 4.9 x 52 “Petit Pyramid”
Body: Mild/Medium
Price: $24.50

Today we take a look at the Cuban Ramon Allones Edición Regional Gran Bretaña 2012.
This cigar was produced for Great Britain.
50,000 cigars were produced in 2012.
Thanks to Peter Leviten for the wonderful gift of the Cuban Ramon Allones Edición Regional Gran Bretaña 2012. He’s had this cigar for a year and believes it was bought in 2012.

DESCRIPTION:
The oily wrapper is the color of sun kissed honey combs. Very smooth to the touch.
A solid cigar but not weighty. Fairly tight seams. A lot of small veins.
The triple cap is more than impeccable. It is tri-impeccable.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell mild chocolate, cedar, barnyard, citrus, and a touch of spice.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell spice, barnyard, milk chocolate, cinnamon, coffee, cedar, cream, and sweetness.
The cold draw presents flavors of chocolate, citrus, spice, wood, nutty, and sweetness.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is good.
I’ve found that the Cubans I’ve smoked all have very thin wrappers. This makes it hard on them in terms of lasting for years. Especially, during climatic changes as the cigar moves from one time zone to another. I’ve got a crack emanating from the foot but I expect to burn through it. Fingers crossed it doesn’t continue to travel upwards.
I let the cigar rest for a few minutes.

Man, it starts off like a triple climax. Heavy cream, marzipan, black pepper, cedar, coffee, lemon citrus, and some sweet floral notes.

After 3+ years of rest, I’m not sure what the strength was originally. At the moment, it is mild/medium body.

I don’t have much experience smoking Cubans but the ones I’ve smoked have been pretty damn good. There is something about that rich, warmth a Cuban blend brings to the table.

I read in Cigar Aficionado that the Cubans have had some bad seasons in the last few years with the soil being depleted of the essential nutrients thereby producing subpar cigars.

Now, with the prospects of Americans soon being able to buy as many cigars as they want in the next year or so, they are pumping up the production. This is not good as it will end up depleting the soil even more not to mention producing mediocre cigars. So, smokers will need to be very careful in the next year as they may not be able to tell the difference between the fake Cubans and the real ones.

But I’m having a helluva good time with the Cuban Ramon Allones Edición Regional Gran Bretaña 2012.
Smoke output is amazing. There is a floral fragrance in the room.
Strength moves to medium body. With that little kick in the back of the throat.

I’m listening to Zep on a 1972 Live album sent to me by Bryan Kinnaman. Received it yesterday. More on this a bit later.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 25 minutes.
I successfully burned through that nasty little crack.

Here they are: Citrus, creaminess, marzipan, chocolate, black walnuts, black pepper, coffee, cedar, and floral notes.
Strangely, no malt flavors. Doesn’t need it.

There are no transitions. No complexity. Just a steady stream of flavor. But the flavors are basically uniform without subtleties and nuances. Full ahead as she goes Captain Edward Smith.

I hate to use the term Cubanesque because I’m not really sure what that means. But I know it’s something special.

“Nothing tastes like a Cuban cigar other than a Cuban cigar, just as nothing tastes like a Nicaraguan cigar except a Nicaraguan cigar.” Courtesy of Benji Menendez.

Some new adjuncts to the Cuban Ramon Allones Edición Regional Gran Bretaña 2012: An earthy mineral element, a compendium of nuts: Cashew, almonds, walnuts, and the slightest hint of peanut. The creaminess makes a big surge supplanting the citrus in the flavor list.
The lemon citrus, while very strong, is now second in line.
The chocolate is on the wane.

OK. So the cigar is now very complex. The balance is a bit off with a few flavors very strong and the balance sort of weak.
The finish is long but only for the creaminess and citrus.

Extended aging of a cigar is a tricky thing. Not all blends can handle the challenge. In fact, most become blah losing everything that made them a fine blend. Yet others are renewed and their flavors meld together beautifully actually requiring a few years of humidor time. Naturally, manufacturers don’t tell you this because I really think they don’t know what blend is a motivational speaker after time and what blend becomes the kid with the dunce hat in the corner.

Halfway point. Smoke time is 40 minutes.
Basically, the construction has been good and the char line on point.
Strength remains at medium body.

The citrus was becoming a bit overbearing, but now, it has settled down and allowed the other flavors to be heard from.
An excellent cigar. But certainly not worth $25.00. I check around and find one Cuban cigar site, Cuban Cigar Collectors, selling them for 30 Euros each, or $33.84. A box of 10 goes for 300 Euros. Out of my reach but telling as it is truly a very limited cigar and probably sold out in 2012 very quickly.

So I consider myself very lucky that Peter Leviten would part with this cigar to give to me. What a mensch of the highest order!

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is 55 minutes.
The Cuban Ramon Allones Edición Regional Gran Bretaña 2012 takes off like the supersonic Concorde…but doesn’t crash and burn.
Just a big flavor explosion. Now we are talking very complex.

One last time: Very sugary, creaminess, citrus, nuts, chocolate, cinnamon, spice, vanilla, floral notes, marzipan, coffee, the peanut component rises dramatically, and cedar. Plus that good Cuban soil.
Damn.
This was a real joy to smoke and a complete surprise. The last Cuban I reviewed was the RASS…I believe. Another gift. There is something about this brand that hits a homer when it comes to the plate.

I take some strong puffs and get a real spice bomb. Black pepper becomes red pepper.

I saw in a cigar forum a comment about me. It said that my photos are much better than they used to be. And I must have gotten a better camera. LOL.
I guess no one considers taking photos with a real camera anymore. I don’t have a smart phone. What does a 66 year old retired man need with a $200 per month phone? I have my laptop right here. We have a Virgin Mobile $10 flip phone and pay $20 per month for 400 minutes per month. I get looks when I use it in public. They look at me like I’m from the Stone Age.

But I did get a better camera about a year ago which explains things. I used a cheap Panasonic. Then I changed to a really good Fuji camera thanks to Fingerhut. Yeah, I know. That $500 camera probably was only a $350 camera and with interest…who knows? But we pay more than the minimum each month. Therefore, we were able to have a Christmas this year.

Caramel enters for the first time. So sweet.
This has been a fun ride. And after the abortion of a review from yesterday, a big relief.
For a cigar that is more than 3 years old, it held up pretty good. Some minor cracking of the wrapper and only minor char line touch ups.

The nub is cool without a hint of harshness or nicotine.
I’d love to direct you to a store where you don’t have to pay a fortune to get one, but unfortunately, I cannot.
Final smoke time is one hour 10 minutes.

RATING: 96

And now for something completely different:

Just yesterday, I got the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten. Bryan Kinnaman sent me a precious 3 CD set called “Led Zeppelin – How the West Was Won.” 3 hours of live Zep!!

And the best part? It was taped at the June 25, 1972 concert at the L.A. Forum and the June 27 concert at the Long Beach Arena.
I WAS THERE FOR BOTH CONCERTS!!

In fact, those ticket stubs ended up on the auction block a few months ago on Ebay to help pay medical bills. It just killed me selling them. In fact, despite what pain in the ass reader “magyud” says, I’ve sold off every single piece of rock n roll memorabilia I owned. And I owned a lot. Now…all gone. So fuck you “magyud” (William Burke). His nasty comment is placed on my post: “Help Me…Please.”
This guy has taunted, insulted, and belittled me every chance he got. I only allowed a small handful of his comments to be posted. The rest went into my spam folder. I think the guy is mentally unbalanced.

Back in the summer of 1972, I owned a VW camper bus so every concert my friends and I went to, we took my VW. It had a kitchen and working fridge. We’d get there early and smoke doobs and hash if someone had some. The smoke that poured from that VW must have looked like it was from a Cheech and Chong movie.

I had seen Zep every time they hit L.A. I can’t remember exactly how many times but something around 7-9 times. They would always play 2-4 nights and we always bought tickets for all the shows.
At this 1972 show, I took my new girlfriend, April, to see Zep. She had never even been to a single concert. Not one concert of anyone.

At the time, Bonham, used a kit that was clear plastic and lights were placed inside each drum.

The arena would go black. Then the drums started the song “Rock and Roll.” The lights lit up the arena.
April jumped to her feet in total excitement and didn’t sit for the entire 2-1/2 hour show.

I got the best blow job of my life that night.

And now, thanks to Bryan K., I have back a reminder of those nights. I’ve been listening this entire time I’ve been writing and it has been quite the distraction. LOL.

One last comment. For some reason, in all the albums Zep made, the bass was low in the mix. It was just how things were done back then. Who knows why?
In person, John Paul Jones became my godhead hero. This man blistered the bass. The first time I saw him play, I wanted to go home and burn my bass.
But I got better. So it worked out in the end.

Such wonderful memories. Bryan, you are my boychik.

Wrapper: Proprietary Connecticut Habano Grueso (According to Cigar Aficionado)
Binder: Brazilian Arapiraca
Filler: Dominican, Honduran, Nicaraguan
Size: 5.5 x 58 “Gordo-Apehanger”
Body: Full
Price: $8.99 MSRP ($5.94 at Famous Smoke Shop by the box)

Remember, Famous is a sponsor and there is a 15% discount promo code (KATMAN) on all purchases over $75.00. Brings the Apehanger down to $5.05 per stick box price. The promo code is at the bottom of the reviews in the Sponsor Section.

Today we take a look at the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger.
Thanks to Cory Grover at Famous Smoke Shop for the samples.
This cigar has a lot of reviews that all occurred shortly after the cigar was released. All of the reviews give the cigar a less than stunning review.
Do you see the size of both cigars? And you realize it is CAO who manufactured it? The kings of Old School blending techniques: Translated as meaning all blends need months of humidor time.

I guarantee not one reviewer gave the cigar more than a few weeks of humidor time.

BACKGROUND:
Factory: Scandinavian Tobacco Estelí.
Release Date: August 2015.
Regular Production.
Debuted at the 2015 IPCPR trade show.
“Grueso” translates to “Thick.”

DESCRIPTION:
You can land an F-22 Raptor on the cap. It has the signature flat cap like the original line.

This cigar is the epitome of the word “rustic.” It looks like it is slap dashed together with bailing wire. Very lumpy and bumpy. The wrapper is a very mottled, oily dark coffee bean color.
But seams are invisible! The veins run over this thing like a road map. There are indentations here and there. But the cigar is perfectly packed. Solid with the proper give when squeezed.
It is difficult to tell but it looks like a double cap.

It is clever what they do with the two sizes in terms of cigar bands. The giant Bullneck has a side view of a bike. While the smaller Apehanger has the bike coming towards you.
And as a last note about the cigar bands, well..I think they are simple but classy. Chic but not silly or overdone.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Bullneck 6.5 x 66 $9.99 MSRP ($6.61 @ Famous Smoke)
Apehanger 5.5 x 58 $8.99 MSRP ($5.94 @ Famous Smoke)
Comes in boxes of 20.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell barnyard, strong dark chocolate, dried fruit sweetness, and cedar.
From the clipped cap (which I used a Screwpop punch) and the foot, I smell amazing spiciness, intense dark bittersweet chocolate, dried fruit, strong espresso, cedar, and sweet cream.
The cold draw presents flavors of sweet cream, cocoa with marshmallows, cedar, grass, spice, golden raisins, and a slight dash of steak sauce.

FIRST THIRD:
Surprisingly, it is much easier than I thought to hold on to the Apehanger in my mouth while I type. It would have been impossible with the Bullneck.
Toasting the foot is a real bitch.
The draw is exceptionally perfect.

First flavors out of the gate: Chocolate, creaminess, spice, caramel, vanilla bean, salty pretzel, raisins, the aroma of new leather, raw honey (Intense aroma and taste), sweetness, wood, nutty, and a vegetal note.

I smoked my first one a week ago and it didn’t have this sort of start. What it did was really kick into gear in the second half. It seems a mere week more has improved things. What did I say? How long ago did Cory send these sticks to me? Shit! Gotta be at least 3 weeks or more.
The char line needs a little bit of attention to start things off.

After letting the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger rest a bit, I pick it up and Bam! A big dose of hefty flavors smack my palate in the puss.
This cigar is going to take way over two hours to smoke so I shall cruise the internets…or is it interwebs for a bit so I don’t write the equivalent of the Torah in one review.

For those goyim, do you know what the Torah is? It is a scroll that is handwritten in Hebrew by a scribe. And what is written in it you ask? It is the “Old Testament.” Add where are they kept in the synagogue? In the Holy Ark (Aron Kodesh) behind the pulpit.

And during my Bar Mitzvah, I got to read a portion of the Torah. It is done so that it takes a full year to read the Torah to the congregation and then they start over again.

And one must not touch the Torah with your fingers. A silver pointer is used so as not to get the oil from your hand on the parchment. Most synagogues have 3 or more Torahs in their Ark. Prestige symbol, I guess.

I got to read the part where the 10 Commandments were written by Moses part. Pretty cool, huh?

I’m 1” into the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger. It’s taken a good 20 minutes.
Flavors are excellent. The flavor profile revolves around the creaminess and chocolate.

Sadly, the spiciness faded a long time ago. For a full bodied stick, I expected more. I jones for ha-cha-cha spiciness. And now, there is virtually none.

Strength is classic medium body. The Apehanger is a real slow smoke. Can’t imagine how long it takes to smoke the Bullneck? 3 hours maybe?

CAO is an old school body of blenders. They haven’t caught on with the New Breed style where cigars are ready to smoke in a month, or sooner. No. Typically, any good CAO takes months. I was hoping with this new shtick of appealing to the manhood in all of us shnooks with the motorcycle on the cigar band, it would be a kick ass blend.

I’m beginning to think the obvious. Either the second half or the last third will be the time and place in which the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger gives ‘em hell.

Hey Fred! How you feeling today?

On my last day of reviewing (February 10), I’m going to spew some thoughts I’ve always wanted to say about the cigar industry. But was too chicken to do so earlier because of the fear of ramifications from my sponsors and the like.
The flavor profile perks up.
Even the malts fall into line. We’ve got some Chocolate Malt, Coffee Malt, and Crystal/Caramel Malt. (See Malt Chart).
Spiciness returns to the fold making me a happy boy.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 40 minutes. Yeah, this will be a two hour cigar.
Oddly, the strength remains at medium body. With a few weeks+ rest, I’m guessing there should be some hint of full body by now.

I take a look at some other reviews and they seem to have the same issues I do. This giant cigar needs months of humidor time. It is a reviewer’s nightmare. You want to do well by your benefactor but you don’t want to wait 3 months to review the damn cigar because it won’t be ready til then. A real conundrum.

So, instead, we bold princes of Maine are basically reviewing the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger’s potential. But some reviewers aren’t kind. They say the hell with the potential and claim the cigar a dud unfairly. Lots of the big guys do that. And what kills me is that the manufacturers send these guys entire boxes of the smokes while we little guys get 2 or 3 cigars. Even when we made the deal for a 5 pack. Like it costs them anything to maintain the integrity of the deal. Oh well. 25 days and counting.

There is no change in the flavor profile. It goes underground.
Only some minor char line touch ups are required but other than that, it is doing well.

There are only a few reviews and most feel the same way I do…that there is something lacking. But I find one semi-big guy reviewer that gives the cigar a 97! Yikes. You’re not supposed to smoke a doob before reviewing. This reviewer tastes things that I don’t remotely taste and I have a great palate. Maybe he got his sticks very early and had the opportunity to really let them humidor age. Must be the reason.

It amazes me as I look at others’ photos. They are fantastic and done so with a smart phone. Their smart phone’s capabilities for shooting photos are 5 times as good as my Fuji camera. Like I said, 25 days and counting.

The halfway point. Smoke time is one hour 10 minutes.
And then…Voila!
Now we’re talkin’! Flavors kick in as predicted. I’m glad it was at the halfway point and not the last third.

Big bold flavors of Chocolate, creaminess, caramel, malts, black walnuts, almonds, sweet marzipan, honey, cedar, vanilla, salty pretzel, raisins, black pepper, pumpkin pie spices, and black licorice.
Now I’m impressed. This is what the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger will taste like from the start 3 months from now. And most probably a real spice bomb at the beginning.

Strength is medium+. Not medium/full quite yet.

I reviewed the CAO Flathead Camshaft 554 on September 1, 2013 and absolutely loved it. But I found there was the same issue between the advertised strength and the real strength. It never reached full body as advertised. I don’t believe the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger will come close either.

At this point, it would be a great blend for newbies. Lots of flavor and not too much strength.
I only had a couple or so readers come to my aid by sending me some great cigars for my last month of review time. I still need more. (Hint, hint). I don’t want any gaps in my last 25 days. But if there are, well..so be it.

BTW- I’ve been listening nonstop to the triple CD Zep live album that Bryan Kinnaman sent me. I’m in love with that man. A real Bromance.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 40 minutes.
Strength finally reaches medium/full body.

There isn’t much in the department of transitions and no real complexity settles in.
Again, this cigar will be a horse of another color with some serious humidor time. But as I’m running out of time, it was now or never. And since Cory at Famous was kind enough to send me samples, I wanted to do the right thing.

Remember, with the promo code of KATMAN, you get 15% off anything over $75 at Famous Smoke Shop. That’s a deal.

I still have one Apehanger left and two Bullnecks left. I shall smoke them in a few months.
Flavors make a grateful surge now. Transitions begin. The balance is now spot on.
And complexity finally begins.
Honestly, I think this will be a killer cigar with the proper rest.

I’m now getting giant portions of wonderful flavors. No change to the earlier list but big and beautiful now. The chocolate creaminess is incredible.
Strength is a solid medium/full.

Construction has been pretty good. I had one small errant seam come loose long ago but fixed it with glue and no trouble since.
The char line has needed a few minor touch ups but that’s all. For such a funky looking cigar, it surprised me with accuracy.

With 1-1/2” to go, the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger is cool without a hint of harshness or heat. Smoke pours from the foot.

Some nicotine kicks in. And the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger finally hits full body.
The chocolate and the creaminess and the nuttiness really made the flavor profile. The black pepper returns and becomes a pepper bomb.

I don’t fault Cory for sending such big cigars. He didn’t know I was giving up to my brain disease.
Therefore, I do recommend this cigar. The only caveat is that both these cigars are huge and need some really extensive humidor time. I might come back in a few months and do an addendum to this review to describe the flavors of a properly rested blend.

Thank you to Cory for supporting the Katman.

Check out Famous Smoke for the CAO Flathead Steel Horse cigars. Prices seem controlled by CAO so everyone is selling them for the same price. But with my promo code from Famous you get 15% off. A $5.94 stick becomes a $5.00 cigar. For that dough, it’s a no brainer. I would definitely buy some and the key to this puzzle is the patience required to let them rest properly.

Final smoke time is 2 hours 15 minutes.

RATING: 87

And now for something moronic:
Circa 1966-1969

I had a great gig at Knott’s Berry Farm in Buena Park, CA back in my teen years. My best friend worked there already and got me the gig.

I had applied earlier at the main personnel office but since they didn’t hire Jews, or any other ethnic group, I was turned down. It seems that Walter Knott was a real bigot. He hated everyone equally. Even the replica of the Independence Hall building had a table with pamphlets from the John Birch Society and other racist organizations. Sort of defeated the purpose of the hallowed building.

My buddy, Skip, worked across Beach Blvd. where Walter Knott had erected Independence Hall. There was also a big lagoon, a merry-go-round, a miniature train, row boats, and the steamboat: the Cordelia K. It was named for Walter’s wife.

Knott’s began as a berry stand in the 30’s and blossomed into a fried chicken restaurant and then ol’ Walter built a cool looking western town. It was super cool and very realistic. It later had all kinds of western themed rides.

Turns out that the rides were owned by a subcontractor, Bud Hurlbut. He just leased the land from the Knotts. It was he that hired me giving me the distinction of the first Jew ever to work at Knott’s. Walter was a real SOB. He hated anyone not white. Or not Christian. And by the time I went to work there, he was ancient and decrepit. Every once in a while, an employee would give Walter a ride in one of their maintenance golf carts over to the lagoon side where he came to ride the Cordelia K. He never, ever said a word to me.
I thought of pushing him overboard but too many witnesses.

I got hired to be the new steamboat captain. I was thrilled when I found out it wasn’t like Disneyland. No track. I actually drove the boat.

I spent a week in training and then she was all mine. The boat sat around 40-50 people. The price to ride the steamboat was 25¢. In fact, all the rides were 25¢.

I had to wear this stupid captain’s hat that made me sweat. I wore jeans and a nice white shirt with a clip on western tie. And the Knott’s vest with my name on it. So I took the hat off a lot. And I got in trouble a lot.
No one ever noticed what I had written where my name was supposed to go.

The steam boat was not run by steam; but rather, a big diesel engine that looked like a steam turbine. And my back was up against it the whole time I drove the boat. And since it was So Cal, it was usually warm all the time. That diesel engine was hot baby. And it spewed horrible fumes. When I was given a break every couple hours or so, I wobbled off the boat and sat on a bench to get my bearings from the brain damage.

I learned how to run the merry go round, and the train, and sell tickets, and send people on their way in a rented row boat. But the captain thing was my main gig.

I got really tired of kids asking me if the boat was on a track when they saw me actually struggling to turn it. So I told them, “No. The boat isn’t on a track…the water is.” I always got befuddled looks and the questions stopped.

The lagoon wasn’t that big. And it had Duck Island in the middle of it. My job was to do two turns around the lagoon. One was a wide berth and the second was close to the island. That’s what you got for your 25¢. No brilliant repartee or speech. Simply a relaxing ride.

But that 25¢ gave people the impression that I would give some sort of narrative and shoot at rising hippos as we rode along the black water.
They were always so disappointed that all I did was keep my mouth shut and drive.

One of my passions was to ram row boats. People would get into them without the slightest hint of how to row a boat so they would be in one place turning the boat in a 360 degree circle.

So I aimed for them. I would grab the megaphone and yell at them to get out of the way and they would start screaming in panic. Good times. Really.

I would then pull back the throttle, let the boat slow down to near still and I would climb out of the front of the boat; and on to the bow. I grabbed a long aluminum gaff and would push them out of the way. All the time they were thanking me for not killing them. It broke up my tedium from going in circles all day.

One Easter Sunday, chaos showed up dressed for the prom. The Farm was packed and so was the boat. I had a sharp turn to make to get out of the dock and turn to the left. Sometimes, I couldn’t make it because there were too many people on the boat. So, I’d have to back it up like a big rig and maneuver it back and forth.

I pulled and pulled that damn steering wheel. And on that day, the steering cable broke. The steering wheel spun like the wheel of fortune.

The boat then floated free. I pulled the steam whistle over and over which was the sign for an emergency. I then got on the bow of the boat. Employees ran over and I yelled the steering was broken.

No one knew what to do, and then one of the employees just started walking into the lagoon…that nasty, smelly, black water. With no filtration system and 2 feet of muck at the bottom.

My head dropped in resignation and I leaped into the water. The people on the boat applauded.
A huge Easter day crowd formed at the rim of the lagoon. I’m surprised TV cameras weren’t there.

By this time, the boat had drifted about 40 feet from the dock. There were four of us in the water trying to push it back to the dock. I moved to the stern. I leaped up to grab the back of the boat and was swiftly hit in the chest with the steering system that looked like two ladders…running horizontally about a foot and a half below the water. The water was so black, you couldn’t see them and I never even knew they were there. I thought the thing had rudders.

I completely submerged into that black morass. Yuck!
I came up covered in muck. This was a bad day.

Me and another fella pushed the stern and two others pushed the bow and after 30 minutes, were able to get the boat back to the dock. Once locked at the dock, a huge applause filled the air…as hundreds and hundreds of onlookers heard what had happened and lined the shore.

The owner, Bud, showed up and sent all four of us across the street for new clothes. Mind you, no shower, but new clothes. We had to work the rest of our shift doing other things, stinking to high heaven. We were young. So we didn’t make a fuss.

All this for $1.65 per hour.

THAT IS REALLY ME DRIVING THE BOAT IN THIS PHOTO:

Wrapper: Brazilian Arapiraca/Ecuadorian Habano (Barber Pole)
Binder: Undisclosed
Filler: Undisclosed
Size: 6 x 54 “Box Pressed”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $12.00

Today we take a look at the Viaje Holiday Blend Candy Cane Edición Limitada 2015.
I only reviewed the 2012 version back in May of 2014. These sticks are hard to get if your wallet isn’t up and running.
Thanks to Miguel Castro for the samples.

DESCRIPTION:
A beautiful presentation. I didn’t bother researching this cigar because it was a last minute choice. I had picked, and researched the Viaje Friends & Family Cadeau but with the double white bands with silver lettering is now becoming impossible for my Fuji to capture without being totally awash in light.
This is the third or fourth in the line of the Holiday Candy Canes. The same red and white candy cane aluminum foil wrapper.

Inside is like Christmas. The three cigar bands start out with the main Viaje forest green and silver lettering. Beneath it is a festive white band with multi-colored words: Candy Cane.
And lastly, the footer band naming it the Edición Limitada.

The two barber pole wrappers have more of a matte finish than an oily one. Seams are obvious but properly and professionally placed. They have a leathery look to them.
Not many veins. And the triple cap is topped with the Arapiraca leaf.
And it has a semi-closed foot:

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell spice, chocolate, coffee, cedar, a rich earthiness, some kind of mint, and fresh parsley.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell dark bittersweet chocolate, spice, barnyard, peppermint, and cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of chocolate, spice, coffee, vegetal notes, cedar, mint, and earthiness.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is spot on.
Big bold flavors start the parade: Chocolate, creaminess, spice, espresso, graham cracker, cedar, and a very rich earthiness.

Huge plumes of smoke flow through the cigar and the foot to make the room engulfed in what seems to be a police incursion with smoke bombs first.

This is a well packed cigar. Solid but not rock hard. Will be a long smoke. Almost 2 hours I bet.
I’m pretty much a sucker for anything Viaje. It is not always the case but it has pretty good odds in its favor.

BTW- I got a comment from a member of a certain cigar forum whose comments about me goes between high praise and pure insults. But the fella was right. I should have ignored the idiots who gave me a hard time and focused on the good. My bad.
I just get my feathers ruffled when inexperienced smokers attack me for my well defined palate. I learned from others to get that sensitive palate. Others should do the same.

This morning’s entertainment is David Gilmour’s latest album “Rattle That Lock.” I love Gilmour’s sensibility and incredible guitar playing….but I like Roger Waters’ voice better.

Something sweet appears. So far, very generic.

The black pepper was fleeting. Barely there now. Too bad.
Flavors are subtle as well.

Viaje goes to and fro from New Breed style of blending and Old School style of blending. Some blends are ready to go after just a few weeks. Others, take months.

I’m guessing that the Viaje Holiday Blend Candy Cane Edición Limitada 2015 is Old School. Now, this makes no sense. If you want reviewers to make pretty on your blend, give them something to review while it’s still within the realm of the Xmas season.

I’m pretty sure the Big Guys probably get theirs a few weeks or so before the release. But not us little guys. Oh no. But then, I don’t think Andre Farkas gives a fuck about reviews. He puts out a limited edition cigar and it is bought up in weeks.

But this one is still available from Cigar Federation. But also from CI, Cigar.com, Atlantic Cigar, and Small Batch Cigar. So this tells me something. This is a limited run. Yet some very big online stores carry them. Either the limited edition number is big (Which I cannot find the number), or they aren’t selling due to word of mouth. The blend isn’t that hot.

On top of that, Viaje has the temerity to sell special ashtrays commemorating their limited releases for $70!!!. These are the same cheap ashtray styles that every single brand uses. And they sell them for $25. What balls.

The cigar is clearly price controlled. Everyone is selling them at the exact same price.
So far, I’m not overly impressed. It is a nice cigar but, once again, methinks I will need to wait til the halfway point or the last third before it really kicks in.

Strength is medium/full at the 1-1/4” burned mark. It’s taken me 20 minutes to smoke that 1-1/4”.
I shall now wander the interwebs so as not to write too much meandering bullshit.
No transitions. No complexity. A half ass balance. A short finish.

It is much creamier now and more chocolaty.
So now I wonder if the cigar is a big letdown.
I check all the usual suspects of cigar news sources and not one mentions how many cigars were released. I’m guessing that Viaje doesn’t want anyone to know. But it clearly says “Edición Limitada 2015.”

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 40 minutes.
Cracks begin to form on the dark Brazilian Arapiraca wrapper.
Here they are in all their glory: Creaminess, chocolate, spice, caramel, malts, graham cracker, espresso, and cedar.
Man oh man. You can get that flavor profile in any decent $6 cigar.

That little crack at the seam of the Brazilian leaf comes loose and I glue it back into place.
I’m sure; I hope that this is a very good cigar 4 months from now. I had no idea that it would need that time. I swear a petition should be passed around with about 10 million cigar smokers signing it. It will demand that manufacturers put a little piece of paper on the cello or box telling the buyer how long the cigar should rest before it is at its peak.

The burn line has been wavy throughout. But only needing a couple touch ups.

I’m an inch away from the halfway point and no sign of the Viaje Holiday Blend Candy Cane Edición Limitada 2015 getting ready to surge.

And while writing the bit about the char line, I get a major run that needs a big touch up.

I’ve had a few readers be very generous with cigars I could review in my last 24 days at bat.

Speaking of which. I went to my daughter’s birthday party at a drag club called Hamburger Mary’s. They had quite a show. The food was expensive and it really shitty.

The entertainment was something else. One of Katie’s friends took photos and video of a big black drag queen shoving my whole head in her augmented breasts. She shook till my long tresses were everywhere. Katie buried her face in her hands when I stuck a $10 bill in my mouth and the biggest queen came over to me. She bent over while I was sitting, licking her lips suggestively, and then grabbed the other end of the bill with her teeth. Then she leaned in and we kissed. The whole place exploded into an uproar.

Every single woman in that place then wanted me for their own sexual pleasure. Lots of birthday parties for young good looking women. Out of a couple hundred patrons, there may have been 5 men.
Methinks, the video will end up on Face Book.

Halfway point. Smoke time is over an hour.

What a huge disappointment. Clearly, Bryan bought these sticks when they came out in early December so that means they have had a month of humi time.
I fully expected a major change by now. Nope.

I am not sure if I’m getting blend potential or this is all there is.
I do you a disservice by not knowing the real truth about a blend. If I waited several months before reviewing, would it be better? Or would it be the same?

The Big Guys have not reviewed the Viaje Holiday Blend Candy Cane Edición Limitada 2015.
I read a review by Cigar Smoke and he mimics my review. Or should I say, I mimic his. He doesn’t recommend more than a 5 pack purchase.
Tapped That Ash feels the same way.
Those are the only two reviewers I trust. And then there are virtually no other reviews.
What does this say?

It says that the Viaje Holiday Blend Candy Cane Edición Limitada 2015 is a dud.

Jeremy Shaeffer asked if I would recommend it because he is thinking of buying some. I told him no.
Like Jeremy said to me, “Sadly it seems like Viaje is somewhat hit or miss…”
Bam. Right on, brother.

There is no surge as I see the end of the second third.
Murphy’s Law. I’m getting some of the best photos I can manage and it is a dud cigar. Fuck me.
And I added a nice story to the end of the review.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 30 minutes.
And sure as shit, flavors kick in now. Sonovabitch.

The Viaje Holiday Blend Candy Cane Edición Limitada 2015 is getting my vote as a blend that needs months and months of rest. The benefit of the doubt. I want to like this cigar but I don’t.
So, I’m tasting, finally…what the cigar will probably taste like 6 months from now.

I can’t remember the last time the Big Guys didn’t review this seasonal cigar.
They’re not stupid. They don’t want to infuriate Andre Farkas with a truthful review. So they just told him they were too busy or said they didn’t want to write a negative review.

Man, this is fucking torture. A super slow smoking cigar that tastes like doo doo. I feel like I’ve been sitting here all day. Unless there is a giant surge in flavors, I will be putting the cigar down early.
Construction is half assed. Too many touch ups.

I was going to save this for my last day but now seems a good time.
I think the majority of manufacturers should be ashamed of themselves.
Their quality control is nil. They don’t give a shit anymore. You don’t read about blenders using #9 rollers anymore. All the new cigars over the last few years are slap dashed together. I get construction issues with 75% of my cigars. I get burn issues with 90% of my cigars.

The manufacturers are training us like Pavlov’s Dog. They are training us not to expect much. I have toasted the foot of every cigar I smoke every which way but loose. It doesn’t matter the style of lighting a cigar. You get burn issues if you don’t keep an eagle on the burn.

Cigars are a booming industry. They are producing more cigars since the boom in the 1990’s.
And the mandate is to get those cigars out to the public as quickly as possible. And bypassing serious quality control.
Of course, there are exceptions but they are few.

OK. I’m into the last third and it is super blah.
I’m done.

RATING: 80

And now for something completely different (More to do with Knott’s):

The first Earth Day was on April 22, 1970. I was in my sophomore year at CSULB. This was a very big deal.
The school had arranged for a bunch of speakers but, for me, the star of the show was Mercury astronaut, Gordon Cooper. He was the last of the original seven to go into space in 1963. He flew around the earth for 34 hours and was the first astronaut to actually sleep while in space. He died in 2004 at the age of 77.

I was riveted as he spoke. He discussed climatology. But I was waiting for stories about the NASA program which came at the end of his speech.
Scott Carpenter was the first astronaut to go into space. And if you saw the movie, “The Right Stuff,” you will remember that there was delay, after delay, of the takeoff.
And Carpenter had to pee.

It wasn’t exactly as portrayed in the movie where he asked for permission to pee. Carpenter didn’t ask for permission. He just went because he was embarrassed. Lights and bells went off in mission control and everyone feared that he had died on the launch pad.

He told other stories and I spoke to him afterwards. A very nice, down to earth man.

On July 20, 1969, only 6 years after the last Mercury mission, Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon.
I was working part time at Knott’s Berry Farm as the steamboat captain of the Cordelia K steamboat. A small replica of a real boat. Paddle wheels and all. You can read a story about this on my review of the CAO Flathead Steel Horse Apehanger.

Unlike the Disney jungle ride, this boat was not on a track and was steerable.

It was 6pm PDT, on July 20, when I got word from a pal in the ticket booth who was monitoring the moon landing on the radio. I went ape shit when he told me Armstrong put feet down on the moon.
I nearly blew a gasket from being so excited and wished I was at home watching it live on TV.

I had a bullhorn on board the boat for yelling at people in row boats to get out of my way. I turned to the couple dozen people on board and announced we had landed on the moon.
Silence.
Did they hear me?
I repeated it.
Even louder silence.
I just could not believe what I did not hear. No cheers. No applause. Nothing. Were these people aliens from some advanced civilization flying in space for millenniums?
I put the bull horn down.
And kept driving the boat.

The next day, it was front page news across America and the world.
We got the L.A. Times and I folded the front section of the newspaper and put it away safely for 19 years.

On Father’s Day, 1988, my wife and I decided to have it nicely framed and gave it to my father. He was thrilled. My evil step mother pish poshed it. But still hung it in a dark hallway leading to the second bedroom of their 2800 sq. ft. condo in Palm Springs.

I was heartbroken that my pussy of a father didn’t proudly display this gift. Back in 1988, we spent over $200 to frame it. This was a serious, and dear, gift. I had held on to it for nearly 20 years and it became an afterthought in my father’s condo because my step mother was a jealous, very evil person.

When my father died, she gave all his possessions to her son. I was the only blood relative my father had and she gave it to the step son. I’ve never gotten over it. Plus, I heard she threw away all the photos and home movies.

When my Dad was sick and on his way out, I told him I wanted the present back and to please put it in his will. Dad wasn’t doing so well. So, while the evil step mother went shopping. Something she was really good at, I nicked the time capsule and stuck it in my car.

My wife, daughter and I left for home not waiting for Cruella de Vil to return home and catch me.
Good thing I did that because after my father passed, I was told there was no will so Cruella got everything. She gave me a fancy ring my father made back in the 1970’s when the both of us were into making jewelry. And a wrist watch that didn’t work.

My dad passed in 2003. I have the framed L.A. Times newspaper hanging proudly in our living room. I always get comments when people visit.

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano Rosado
Binder: Mexican San Andrés
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 5.5 x 54 “Robusto”
Body: Medium
Price: $8.90 MSRP ($7.50 @ Dallas Discount Cigars)

Today we take a look at the Southern Draw Cigars Firethorn.
Thanks go out to Miguel Castro for the sticks.

BACKGROUND:
From the Southern Draw Cigars web site:
“HAND CRAFTED IN ESTELI, NICARAGUA Firethorn, our second offering, has been specially blended to pair with medium weight styles of craft brews, boutique wines and spirits. The aged Habano Rosado, double-fermented wrapper is flawless with a taste that will quite simply – draw you in. The wrapper is complemented by perfectly aged binders and fillers from Cuban seed tobacco grown in Nicaragua and Mexic0. From the first draw, the sweet and natural aromas will tantalize the palate. After the first third of the cigar, some spicy notes will blend and then gently trail off, leaving you with a flutter of cinnamon, cocoa and caramel, eventually fading into a subtle pecan-like finish. This handmade beauty has a closed foot for a smooth and toasty burn that results in a firm ash.

“Southern Draw may very well be considered a “newcomer” to this industry be we aren’t new to cigars and we offer only custom blended cigars that are hand crafted from only fine and rare aged Cuban seed tobaccos afforded us by AJ Fernandez and the dedicated team at Tabacalera Fernandez located in the heart of Estelí, Nicaragua. There are obviously many very good cigars available so we won’t attempt to simply stake claim to ultra-premium or boutique definitions but we currently produce a monthly limit of 5,000 cigars per blend.”

It is also declared that the wrapper is double fermented.
On the web site, it shows the type of beer or liquor that would make the best pairing for each blend:
“RECOMMENDED BEVERAGE PAIRINGS:
“CRAFT BREW: CREAM ALE, LAGER, PALE ALE, BELGIAN, WHEAT, PILS AND IRISH RED ALE
“WINES: MALBEC, RUBY CAB, SYRAH, PETITE SIRAH, ZIN, BORDEAUX AND OAKEY WHITES
“SPIRITS: BLENDED SCOTCH/WHISKEY (5 – 12 YEAR AGED), VSOP COGNAC, MIXED DRINKS W/ VODKA, RUM, GIN, SCHNAPPS AND TEQUILA”

According to the Cigar-Coop web site:
“The company was founded by Robert Holt and a group of U.S. Veterans. They have teamed up with A.J. Fernandez’s Tabacalera Fernandez to make their cigars. The name is appropriate to the company’s vision. Southern Draw seeks to keep to the promoting “Southern” culture and in particular paying homage to being a Southern gentleman. In terms of their cigars, the company has put considerable effort into have an effortless draw when enjoying a cigar. Finally, the company has designed their lines with the concept of pairing with a libation. “

DESCRIPTION:
To my eye, the Rosado red wrapper color is not as prominent as I can tell. It shows a little better in a well-lit room or from sunshine.
The order of releases for the three lines: Kudzu, Firethorn, and Quick Draw.
The wrapper is more of a medium brown color with a bit of oiliness. Very smooth to the touch.
Seams are very tight. Few veins. And an impeccable triple cap.
The stick is well filled and has the right amount of give when squeezed gently.
And lastly, it has a closed foot:

SIZES AND PRICING:
Robusto 5.5 X 54 $8.90
Toro 6 x 52 $9.30
Gordo 6.5 x 60 $9.95
Can be bought at a lot of small online stores.
You can buy an assortment of Southern Draw Cigars, and swag, from their web site.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell honey sweetness, floral notes, fruit, a light orange citrus, cedar, and a bit of spice.
From the clipped cap and closed foot, I smell bittersweet chocolate, spice, citrus, floral notes, fruit sweetness, and cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of strong red pepper, chocolate, espresso, floral notes, orange citrus, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is a bit tight.
Sure, the closed foot is artistic and shows off the skill of the roller. But, man, it is a pain in the ass to light and get a good start for the burn.

Big blast of red pepper. Really big shoe, ladies and germs. A bunch of malts waste no time entering the flavor profile. As well does the creaminess.
Smoke gushes from the foot.
Strength is medium body.

The fruitiness gives the blend a nice balanced sweetness. There is a strong toast element. Sort of like a toasted butter bagel. A good bagel not a Pepperidge Farm bagel. I cannot find a single bagel in this town made correctly. Bagels should be very dense. NO sugar should be used. A good bagel should not be light and airy like a dinner roll.

I checked into getting some NYC bagels sent from a bona fide bagel shop. I think it was around $13 for a dozen plus $98 for shipping. WTF?

Chocolate and espresso enter. I’ve only had these cigars for a couple weeks and they were bound in cellophane because Miguel only received them a day before shipping them to me. Two weeks. And the Southern Draw Cigars Firethorn is kicking ass and taking names. This is New Breed blending at its best. Not like that pitiful Viaje Candy Cane I reviewed yesterday.
The Southern Draw Cigars Firethorn is a premium blend. No doubt. I was also sent a few Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu sticks by Miguel. I just might review those tomorrow.

And then just an inch in, more flavors are layered upon the others: Caramel, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
I dig a pony…No..I mean I dig that the spiciness is nice and strong throughout.

The fruitiness is elusive. I can taste a slight peach component. But it is only after smacking my lips for a minute that it comes to fruition. No pun intended.
Construction is good. Char line spot on. Slow smoke. Perfectly filled.
The sun comes out. It is minus 25° with the wind chill. Poor Charlotte has to drive to work in this crappy weather. But no snow. Too cold for that.

The malts: Chocolate Rye Malt, Cara Munich Malt, Coffee Malt, and Honey Malt. (See Malt Chart).
For my tastes, malt brings an important component to the blend. It is the “It” factor that I found elusive for most of my cigar smoking years. Then one day, an Alzheimer’s epiphany. I read an article that included the importance of malt flavors in cigar blends and it just clicked. One is never too old to learn. I wish the folks who make fun of my palate would look at it positively and as a learning tool rather than diss me.
23 and counting.

Will probably take a break in a couple days as I’ve run out of most of the review cigars sent to me. And I have some special cigars I want to review once February strikes. So I shall go dark for a while.
Some very good people sent me some nicely aged cigars. Unfortunately, I dabbled in a couple and they are aged a little too long. Flavorless. Real bummer. As most readers sent me one of each reviewable cigar, I have no idea if it will be a good review or not. A real conundrum. I smoked an Opus X with a few years on it and it was as dead as a door nail. I have a couple more that are different blends with some aging and I am going to review them. Plus a few surprises.

As a reminder, I will be thanking all those wonderful people who have supported me on my last day’s review.

Here they are as I approach the second third: Chocolate, creaminess, malts, red pepper, caramel, fruit, floral notes, orange citrus, nuts, toasty, honey, graham cracker, baking spices, cinnamon, and cedar.
Not bad, huh? I swear to you on my pledge. If you are training your palate to explore all a blend has to give, there is me and other fine review sites that you can learn from. The most important thing to remember is that the blend must be the first stick of the day. No food prior to lighting up. It all affects your palate.

And intense focus. You don’t need to retrohale to get these flavors. I stopped long ago as my sinus passages got too crispy. Hold the smoke in your mouth for 30 seconds and then let go. Smack your lips. Take a sip of water. Let each few puffs happen 2-3 minutes apart. Do this and you will find your palate. (Ever notice how many reviewers spell it “palette?”) That always cracks me up. Just like calling San Andrés: San Andreas…the fault line in California.

Strength remains at medium body.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 25 minutes.
Transitions galore. Complexity. Nice balance and a very long finish. It has been a nice climb to get here. Flavorful and interesting.
Each sip of water floods my palate with flavors.

A lovely premium blend. Thank you Miguel.

I hate having to write two negative reviews in a row. So not this time. Splendid cigar.

The Southern Draw Cigars Firethorn is worth every shekel of the $9.00 price. Even better at Dallas Discount Cigars for $7.50. Everyone else sells it for MSRP including Cigar Federation. Their discount applied brings it down to $8.00. So still a better deal at DDC.

Shop around. Lots of online stores carry them. And you can check the Southern Draw Cigars web site for B & M’s. (Quite an impressive list). For some reason, you can only purchase 2 packs or 5 or 6 packs from Southern Draw. No boxes. The two packs charge $11.00 each for the Firethorn. I don’t get that.
The flavor profile has no changes except the nuttiness becomes candied pecans as described by Southern Draw Cigars.

Once a month, after getting our social security, we order out for Chinese. Charlotte always gets the Honey Walnut Shrimp. I can only taste a few bites due to my diabetes. But in retrospect, the nuttiness tastes more like candied walnuts than pecans.

Halfway point. Smoke time is 45 minutes.

The Southern Draw Cigars Firethorn is putting a smile on this old puss. I like everything about it. The spiciness has maintained an even keel. And the coordination of spice vs. sweet is perfect.

Creaminess takes the lead followed by the malts. The chocolate and coffee are on the wane.
I’m beginning to get some burn issues. And the wrapper is seeing some small cracks.
We have to turn the thermostat down at night so we can afford our utility bill. I’m sure the cold doesn’t help my cigars a bit.

A seam comes loose but as I try to glue it, it just comes apart. Luckily, the other side of the cigar is flawless. I take a few hefty puffs from the Southern Draw Cigars Firethorn and the pepper is so strong, my eyes water, my nose runs, and I’m blinded by the light.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 5 minutes.
Strength hits medium/full.
Nicotine kicks in.

I finally got some photos of me with my head in a drag queen’s bosom from my kid’s 30th birthday party. But they are too dark and out of focus. But one look, with my snow white beard, and I cut the whole thing off last night. I had a vanity panic attack.

My hair is really long now. Past my shoulders and past my Adam’s apple.
I’m going to go to a salon that specializes in long hair haircuts for men. It’s time to look a little more hip.

The cracks aren’t spreading. Good news. The flavors, while excellent, don’t become a flavor bomb.
But they do excel compared to the first two thirds of the cigar.
I’ve got a good story to end the review.

The draw becomes very airy now. Probably due to the wrapper cracks.

The Southern Draw Cigars Firethorn was a really nice surprise. Miguel sent me three sticks but this was my first one. With little left to review, I thought the hell with it.
Another fine example of New Breed style of blending.

The cigar finishes cool without any harshness.
I highly recommend this cigar. A 5 pack is a good way to start. Southern Draw Cigars sells a 5 pack sampler. You’ll get 3 Kudzu and 2 Firethorn. For $48.00. That’s $9.60 per stick. Dallas Discount Cigars only sells boxes.

Stogies World Class Cigars sells singles, 5 packs, and boxes about a buck less than MSRP. You can make up your own sampler. Cheaper than the Southern Draw web site.

RATING: 90

And now for something completely different:

Here is a story I told back in June of 2014. Music in the background reminded me. “Take the Money and Run” by the Steve Miller Band.

I was living, and working, in Phoenix during the 1990’s. I got this horrible project to run that was residential. The biggest home in Arizona up in the hills north of Scottsdale. The guy that owned it had a famous boat company: Sea Ray. And sold it for a gazillion dollars.

He was spending something in the neighborhood of $100 million for this project. That’s 1995 dollars.
The road to the top of the hill where the main house was cost him $20 million to build. It had a caretaker’s house at the bottom. And it had a housekeeper’s house about halfway up.

His house was on top of this hill that he bought. I don’t know how many acres it was but the land alone cost him around $30 million.

His house was perfectly round. All the rooms on the exterior walls were pie cut shaped. With a huge circular living room, kitchen, etc. in the middle.
His garage was also a circle and big enough that you could drive a car into it and come out of it facing the right direction to leave the house. Must have been 150 feet in diameter.
I wish I could remember the guy’s name but I can’t.

I was in the Todd Hart Band Blues Trio at the time and for Christmas he bought me a beautiful leather jacket with the band’s logo on it.

Todd on guitar, the drummer, and me on the far right in the background playing my Dobro electric upright bass like a guitar:

I remember I had a meeting with the owner, architect, construction manager, and the structural engineer one morning at the site.

The owner saw my jacket and inquired. He asked me if I knew Steve Miller? I laughed and said no.

He said that Steve was staying at his house in Paradise Valley…an old, very upscale part of Phoenix. Same place that Alice Cooper lives.

I should add that the owner of the company I worked for was there as well. He was my age. A real prick. Cheated on his wife openly with some buck toothed chick that worked in the office eventually leading to a divorce. And his wife getting half the business. She was a class act and such a nice lady. Why this douche bag continued to cheat one her is beyond me. Especially, with a long line of dogs.

So the owner says to me that Miller is quite the guitar player. I nodded. He then took out his cell phone and made a call.

He hung up and asked if I wanted to stop by his house and meet Miller when business was done? Before I could answer, Brad said “YES!”

We meet Miller and he was as gracious as all get out. He actually had set up a little recording studio in one of the large rooms in the house. I was introduced and gave him my background for my 15 minutes (actually 10 years) in the music business.

Then he asked if I wanted to lay down some bass lines or just jam?

I told him that I didn’t have my gear with me. He laughed as he pointed to about 6 different basses in their stands. All were collector’s items and I picked the 1958 Fender Precision. It felt like I had owned it forever. While in England, I bought Wishbone Ash’s Martin Turner’s 1968 Fender P bass.

My boss was impressed with me for the first time. Then, a few people I didn’t know came into the room. One was a drummer.
I was freaking out. I didn’t know any of his songs. Miller graciously suggested we start with a blues improv. You know…1-4-5?

We played for an hour on one tune and took it everywhere. Miller and I and the drummer were having such a good time that time lost its value.

Miller invited me to stay all day and asked if I could lay down some bass lines on stuff he was working on.
And my prick boss said we had to get back to the office. My jaw dropped. How could he do this to me? Fuck nuts!

We all glad handed each other and Brad and I left in his new Corvette. I didn’t say a word to him the whole 45 minutes back to the office.

We get back and Brad goes on and on about what happened. But forgets to mention how Miller and I bonded and how much he liked my playing. This guy was an egomaniacal narcissist and couldn’t stand to not be the center of attention.

Of course, the truth came out during the day as I was pounded for more info. Brad always liked to leave early in the day to go fuck his sweeties.

So all work stopped and I told the story of Miller and I playing together.
I got some serious street cred from that incident in the office. Maybe 30 people.

I never saw Steve Miller again. But a week later, I met with the house owner and he told me how much Miller appreciated me being there because he had recorded the whole jam and it gave him some ideas for new compositions.

So I really thought Miller would contact me again to use me but alas, never did.
Oh well…It was a fun experience.

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Cuban-Seed Habano Oscuro
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 5.5 x 54 “Robusto-Box Pressed”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $8.90 ($8.60 @ Stogies World Class Cigars-Free Shipping)

Today we take a look at Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu.
Thanks to Miguel Castro for the cigars.
Rated 93 by Cigar & Spirits Magazine 2014
Double fermented
Factory: Tabacalera Fernandez S.A. (AJ Fernandez)

BACKGROUND:
From the Southern Draw Cigars web site:
“Kudzu is Southern Draw’s inaugural cigar specially blended to complement the robust styles of craft brews, boutique wines and spirits. The velvety, oily wrapper is a beautiful aged Habano Oscuro with solid construction evident from the first touch. Along with rich flavor and a full bodied double-fermented wrapper, are fillers and binders of premium aged Cuban seed Nicaraguan tobaccos. The blend offers subtle notes of spice, cedar and cocoa. Each cigar has been hand-rolled and then aged to perfection, allowing the flavors to marry. The temperature and burn rate produce an even, clean white ash. Each cigar has a guaranteed perfect draw because every cigar is draw-tested to exacting standards.

“Recommended Beverage Pairings for the Kudzu:
“Craft Brew: IPA, Porter, Stout, Brown Ale, Sours, Bock and Lambics
“Wine: Port, Late Harvest, Full Body Cab/Reds
“Spirits: Single Barrel Whiskey/Bourbon, Single Malt Scotch, Barrel Aged Rum (12-15 Year), Brandy, XO Cognac, Premium Anise and Cinnamon Liqueurs.”

DESCRIPTION:
This is a much lighter cigar than the Firethorn. Yet, seems to be more popular. It has a nice semi-crisp box press, tight seams, and some minor number of veins.
The foot is closed. The triple cap is beautifully executed.
The oily wrapper is the color gingerbread and mocha.
This is not a rock solid cigar. It is soft any place I depress it. Maybe some Klonopin will help?
Just like the Firethorn, the double bands is topped by the same Southern Draw artsy cigar band….and a secondary band that merely says: “KUDZU.”

SIZES AND PRICING:
Robusto 5.5 X 54 $8.90 MSRP
Toro 6 x 52 $9.30 MSRP
Gordo 6.5 x 60 $9.95 MSRP
Can be bought at a lot of small online stores.
You can buy an assortment of Southern Draw Cigars, and swag, from their web site.
Below is a photo from the Southern Draw Cigars web site of the different blends and sizes:

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell a light sweetness, cedar, maybe some cherries, and spice.
From the clipped cap, and the clipped closed foot, I smell dark chocolate, spice, raisin sweetness, cedar, barnyard, espresso, and
The cold draw presents flavors of malt, chocolate, cream, spice, baking spices (cinnamon and nutmeg), and hay.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is excellent.
Wow! A super spice bomb that makes my yarmulke twirl on top of my toupee.

Along with that massive dose of black pepper is: Chocolate, creaminess, malts, espresso, raisins, cedar, and shortbread cookies. (I know that’s strange).

Well, I’ve got 7 more cigars to review. Since I promised to review the Kudzu as a companion piece to the Kudzu, I am keeping that promise.

I expect a few cigars this week from a couple readers. If there is something to review, it’s on. Otherwise, I will hold on to those 7 sticks until February 3 to continue reviewing.

Right off the bat, the Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu stakes its claim to being the better cigar of the two…both this blend and the Firethorn.
It has AJ written all over it. Starts with a bang and, hopefully, makes more transitions that an 80 year old woman driving to the market.
The sun is out early and very bright. Nearly washes all the color from the cigar:

I haven’t exactly said this in a while, but holy shit. From the first moments of lighting this cigar, it has my undivided attention. My apologies to the folks at Southern Draw, but the Kudzu kicks ass and buries the Firethorn in a shallow grave.

For a cigar that is as soft as the Kudzu, I expected it to be a quick smoke. Just the opposite. It is a lazy, slow smoke.

I am having wavy burn issues. I shall keep an eye on that so it doesn’t make a run for the border.
No CD’s or Spotify this morning. The sun came out early. Yesterday was a frigid -25°. This morning is a balmy -11°. Shorts and T shirt weather.

The only downside to listening to the Classic Rock station on AT&T cable TV music station is that they play way too much Bob Seger. Never grew a liking for him.

Back to the weather. No CD’s or Spotify because it’s clumsy. I have to wear a ball cap to keep the sun out of my eyes. I have to wear headphones to listen to the music. And each time I get up to take a photo, I nearly have to undress. Music on TV is much better.

Years ago, I bought a nice sound bar for the living room TV. Charlotte hates loud TV. But absolutely loves music. Once she got the experience of surround sound and those big fat bass notes, I have to sit in the man cave while she watches every single music show on TV. The walls are a’ shakin. If I took that sound bar away, she’d be depressed for months. So I won’t.

All right then…Zep’s “Rock and Roll.”

Strength started out dead center of medium body. But an inch in, it begins to move to medium/full.
Transitions are going nuts. I’m an avowed AJ fan. Remember those Fallen Angel Devil’s Ink that I so heavily promoted while on sale? Well, the CI doesn’t seem to sell them anymore. And I think I know why: Major burn issues. Every single cigar I lit had a major run within a couple of minutes. Didn’t matter what I did, it ran. If CI or AJ claim it was a limited run, that’s bullshit. It was an extremely poorly constructed cigar and I bet there were so many complaints, they took it off the market. My bad for promoting it so heavy. Didn’t expect my boy to let us all down like that.

He’s doing just fine with the Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu. This is the AJ I love.
It obviously needed very little humidor time as I don’t believe I’ve had the sticks for even two weeks.
But I am having burn issues. It’s needed a couple touch ups early in the game.

Flavors are so complex, I’m having trouble discerning exact flavors.
There is a heavy creaminess, very spicy that is both black pepper and jalapeno, either vanilla toffee or caramel, malts, graham cracker, fresh orange, a bit of licorice, and coffee and chocolate. The cedar is on the wane. No other wood shows itself.

Mind you, it takes several minutes of smacking my chops to find these flavors. They just don’t jut out at you. A couple sips of water re-freshens the flavors.

Miguel Castro referred me to a brouhaha going on at Halfwheel.com. Check it out. It basically started out at how Halfwheel gets their consensus for making a top 25 cigar list for 2015. But then the comments take umbrage with the methods they used. And they don’t divulge all the review blogs they used to make their decisions. Just the Big Guys of course. I even get involved in the Comment section.
No matter how many types of numerical magical mystical systems they use, it still requires human input meaning that it will never be objective.
My comment was completely ignored by every other person commenting including the moderator.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 30 minutes.
Strength is medium/full.

Do you remember those little round cracker sticks dunked in chocolate at the end? My parents always put them out when company came. I stole as many as I could get away with. Flavors were orange, raspberry, etc. All coated in that delicious chocolate.
This is a flavor I’m getting with the Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu.
There are definite orange and raspberry elements. Very subtle and the untrained palate may not taste them. Smoke it as your first of the day and see if you agree.

The graham cracker component is pretty strong now aided by that chocolate covered fruity dessert sticks thing.
Oh wait…Chocolate covered raspberry jelly rings. Damn. That’s in there too.
Raisin sweetness is prominent. Chocolate and coffee take a back seat to other flavors such as malts, creaminess, strong spice, and cherries.

How come no one makes fun of the flavors that the Blind Man’s Puff site comes up with? I really like that site. It’s unique. And they come up with some crazy flavors like I do. No one makes fun of them for having great palates.

I am so disappointed when I read some review sites and find them finding the same flavors over and over. Just touching the top of the palate. Just the main flavors and not looking for the subtle and nuanced flavors.
Most reviewing the Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu stick with about 4 or 5 flavors throughout.

The Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu is a highly complex cigar and deserves better dissection than most reviewers give it.
Ahh..Van Halen playing “Pretty Woman.” I dig it my babies.

I have to close the window opposite me. I don’t care if I’m engulfed in a cloud of smoke. It’s fucking cold!! My balls have stuck together. I now have a single testicle.

Strength is a solid medium/full.
And then a major transition….Subtle flavors become big, bold flavors.

Oh no…Jimi playing “Voodoo Chile.” There is a God. Thank you Cosmic Muffin. I’ve got the walls shaking. Only way to listen to Jimi. Never got a chance to see him. One of my biggest regrets.

The chocolate and coffee return big time.
The halfway point. Smoke time is 45 minutes.
The orange element moves very close to the front of the line. Pretty much in tandem with the chocolate and coffee and creaminess.
The malts are the usual suspects. By now, I’m sure you’ve memorized the list.
The toffee isn’t toffee. It’s caramel.

I’m going to need to revise my Top 25 Cigars of 2015 and add this to the list. What to remove? Hmmm…
This is now one of my most favorite AJ blends. Just spectacular. Brock commented on the Firethorn saying that the Kudzu is one his favorites as well. Well Brock, you and I are brothers from another mother. Spot on, son.

I have to get some of these. I haven’t bought cigars in months. So I call my daughter and ask to borrow $40. Done.

I go to Stogies World Class Cigars and buy 5 singles of the Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu in robusto size for $8.60 per stick. Free shipping. And a promo code: EM10 for 10% off. I got in just under the wire with $38.70 spent. Woo Hoo!

I got the Robusto for $7.74 each. Or $1.16 per stick cheaper than everyone else is selling them for.
I almost didn’t review this morning wanting to save my cigars for the last week.

Now I’m so happy I did. Miguel sent me three sticks and this was my first one. So that’s 2 left plus 5 on the way. Bless-ed by the Cosmic Muffin. Thank you baby Jesus!
This will be a good day.

Oh fuck me…George Harrison’s “What is Life?” One of my all time faves.

This is a killer cigar. No shit.
I just replaced the Angel’s Anvil with the Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu for the No.9 spot in “THE KATMAN’S TOP 25 CIGARS OF 2015.” It really is that good.

I don’t have the pressure of other reviewers to canonize my top 25 cigars as I am quitting in a few weeks. And since this is a 2015 cigar, why not? I’ve made several changes since January 1 to the list.
You know what this reminds me of? An Ezra Zion blend. Now which one? Oh snap! This is easy: Ezra Zion All My Ex’s. The leaf stats are different but the Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu has that flavor bomb status the EZ blend has. A perfect balance. And a very long finish. And oh so complex. Right from the start.

“Paint it Black” by the Stones. I was at McCabe’s Music Store in Long Beach, Ca when Keith Richards came in and bought a Dulcimer that is so prevalent in the song. Fucking Wikipedia says it is a sitar. Fucking idiots.
McCabe’s was one of the biggest hang out for rock stars getting special instruments in the 60’s and 70’s.

It was there, that one of their luthiers took my funky Dobro electric bass and made it kick ass. They are mystical and magical there. We even got to practice there once when our rehearsal space disappeared. The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band hung out there. Even their banjo player, John McEwen, gave me 5 string banjo lessons there.

We were rehearsing The Beatles’ “Back in the USSR” when one of the NGDB came in and helped us get the song right.
I even went to high school with Jimmie Fadden who was their blues harp player. He got kicked out because he had long hair in his senior year. He would walk around the school with a double bandolier of harps.

Photo of Jimmie Fadden:

Back to the Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu. The hell with it. I’m on my last legs of reviewing so why not throw in a rock story. Am I right?
Strength hits full body.
And the dreaded nicotine follows. Oy vey.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 10 minutes.
For a soft cigar, I am totally surprised it smokes so slowly.

I tip my yarmulke to the folks at Southern Draw. And to AJ, of course.

The only criticism I have is the need for touch ups on a regular basis. Must be the Wisconsin cold.
The Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu is the true definition of a flavor bomb. I don’t care what my detractors say about me using the term too often. They just don’t have my palate.
And to be honest, I don’t think you need a great palate for this blend.

Yet, I read other reviews and almost none rave about it the way I’ve done. What is wrong with them?
I find that this cigar has made it on to the top 25 cigar lists of a lot of reviewers. Mostly the small guys like me. We didn’t get to smoke the $100 cigars the Big Guys got to smoke. That’s just rubbing it in our faces that they have better sponsorship than we do.
But then, I find the Big Guys are basically a boring read. Put their reviews on tape and play them back at bedtime and you have instant sleep.

You’re kidding…Rod Stewart doing “Gasoline Alley.” As soon as he got rid of the Faces, he went into a deep spiral. It was the only time in his career that his music sounded genuine. Not over produced.

This is why I like reviewing in real time. It’s organic. Not like so many other reviewers that seem like copywriters.

The nicotine slows me down.

I can’t say enough good things about the Southern Draw Cigars Kudzu. A spectacular blend in spite of burn issues.

I noticed that there was only 1/3 reviews of the Firethorn compared to the Kudzu. Now I know why.
Stogies World Class Cigars is the place to go. $1.40 less than the MSRP that everyone else is charging and another 10% off with the promo code EM10. And free shipping.

Go get some now. If you haven’t smoked a Kudzu, you are missing out on one of the great cigars.
Thank you Miguel for your kindness and generosity.
Final smoke time is one hour 30 minutes.
And to end the review, how appropriate; Zep’s “Dazed and Confused.” Which describes me to a tee.

RATING: 96

And now more crap about my life in rock n roll:

Here is one I haven’t told in a long time….
My band, Curved Air, was touring with Black Sabbath. Now this was the stupidest pairing in the world. Our two bands were oil and water. And we were scared to go on first.

Curved Air almost, without fail, headlined its own gigs. And we played a healthy 2-1/2 hours. When we supported a big band, we were only allowed 45 minutes. You have to remember that the road is not that much fun and you live to play. So waiting all day to play and then only get 45 minutes was disappointing. Fortunately, being the support act only happened now and again.

While Curved Air was basically a stable bunch of people who smoked weed and hash, Sabbath was doing heroin. And their fans were totally out of control. A mob.
As we took the stage, people booed. Oh lord.

Curved Air was a really big band in England, South America, Japan, and Europe. We weren’t used to getting booed.

We always started with a high energy instrumental. And then we would introduce Sonja Kristina. And she was always dressed in high end slut clothing. The crowds always went nuts. Even the Sabbath crowd. The booing stopped once she was on stage. She was slinky and sexy. The little boys wet themselves.

Well, we did our magic and but the crowd became restless. Even yelling out Black Sabbath at times.
Knowing she had to win back the crowd, Sonja really did a number.

She started to shed her clothes. And she would take turns kneeling in front of me, and the guitarist, and the violinist giving us fake head. The crowd nearly turned the arena upside down.

This caught the attention of Ozzy who was just off stage. He was a big fan of CA. And he stood there during our entire set.

He walked on stage and the place went nuts. He grabbed Sonja and she knew what to do. She got down on her knees in front of him and undid his fly. She reached in with one hand and began to lick the outside of his pants. He took the microphone away from her and made all sorts of lewd comments. I thought the crowd was going to storm the stage.

The band and I were laughing big time. There was nothing shy about Sonja. Ozzy pushed her hand away and yanked out his petunia.

Sonja took the mic back and began to sing our only Top 10 hit, “Back Street Luv.” The band followed her. She stood there singing with Ozzy’s dick in her hand. Roadies and security had to stand at the front of the stage and were throwing the more excited fans off.

After the gig, both bands and all of the roadies not working, headed to the “in” club in town. We sat at a big half-round booth. Sonja sat next to Ozzy. And then all of a sudden she disappeared. She was giving Ozzy head underneath the table. Ozzy’s facial expression never changed.

A roadie that Ozzy always picked on turned the tables on him. He took a shit into his hand and dropped the turd into Ozzy’s drink. The roadies fled the table. Sonja did not. And Ozzy never saw it coming as he lifted the drink to his mouth.

As soon as turd touched his lips, he stood up knocking the entire table on its side. He started cursing. Sonja scrambled to get out of there. Ozzy knew who did this and chased him around the club.
Darryl, Curved Air’s leader, told us this might be a good time to split.

When we were the backup for some big group, it was usually for only 3 gigs. And this gig was out third and last.
For some reason, we never toured with Black Sabbath again.

Well, that’s it for me for a while.

I’ve got a really important doctor appointment at the U of W Medical College this Thursday, the 21st. I will finally get the real skinny about what’s happening to me. I will have to double down on the tranquilizers for that visit. Scared shitless. LOL.

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano Rosado Oscuro
Binder: Nicaraguan Corojo 2006, Nicaraguan Habano
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 6.5 x 52 “Toro Extra”
Body: Medium/Full
Price: $23.00 MSRP

Today we take a look at the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary.
I’m terribly sorry but I forgot the name of the reader that sent it to me. It’s fading my dears, its fading.

BACKGROUND:
Factory: My Father Cigars S.A.
Release Date: July 9, 2015
Number of Cigars Released: 14 count boxes. 4,200 boxes released. 4,000 boxes for the US Market and 200 boxes for the European market.
Each stick is in an individual coffin.

According to Cigar Aficionado:
“My Father Cigars is preparing to roll out a limited-edition cigar for the year 2015
“It will ship to retailers nationally before IPCPR on July 17. The cigar is called My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary Toro, and it celebrates the company’s fifth anniversary since its inaugural limited edition release in 2010.

“The cigar features an Ecuador Habano wrapper that the company calls “Rosado Oscuro,” all Nicaraguan fillers, and two binders: a Nicaraguan Corojo 2006 and a Nicaraguan Habano. The launch of a special My Father limited-edition cigar is something of a tradition for the company, although the cigar is not always released on a yearly basis.

“My Father Limited Edition is an occasional release, always dependent on the availability of the aged tobacco,” Alcides Montenegro, general manager and advertising director at My Father Cigars, told Cigar Aficionado. “The process takes time. We are very respectful of this.”

“The cigar measures 6 1/2 inches by 52 ring gauge and has a suggested retail price of $23. The limited-edition cigar ships in boxes of 14, each with its own individual coffin. Only 4,200 boxes will be released—4,000 for the United States and 200 for the international market. My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary Toro is being rolled at the My Father Cigars Factory in Nicaragua.

“The first My Father Limited Edition was released in 2010. Two more My Father Limited Edition cigars followed in 2011 and 2012. A series of My Father Commemorative 9/11 Limited Edition cigars were also released in 2011 and 2012 in conjunction with Casa de Montecristo to honor the lives of firefighters who died during the September 11, 2001 World Trade Center attacks. But since then, the company has focused its limited editions on other brands in its portfolio. The My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary Toro marks a proper return to form.”

DESCRIPTION:
An absolutely gorgeous presentation. Beneath the bling is an extremely oily, dark coffee bean colored wrapper. Seams are tight..not too many veins. The wrapper just shines from oil in the artificial light of my dining room. That’s rare.

It appears to have a quadruple cap. But it is so impeccably done, I need a magnifying glass to be sure.
The double cigar bands are beautiful and very artsy. The main band is the standard My Father band. Beneath it is a secondary band; just as beautiful, that says: “Limited Edition” and beneath that, in very tiny font it says: “By Master Blender J. Garcia.”
And finally, the presentation is finished off by a matching colored orange footer ribbon.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell sweetness, chocolate, raisins, cedar, and spice.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell dark chocolate covered raisins, spice, ginger, black licorice, herbs, cedar, and a dash of coffee.
The cold draw presents flavors of spice, orange zest, sweetness, mint, chocolate, and coffee.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is a bit tight as this solidly packed big cigar finds itself only letting the mere necessary amount of smoke through it.
In fact, it is so packed, that there is little or no give when depressed by my finger. Yet, it pushes a lot of smoke into the air.
First flavors: Chocolate, nutty, citrus, cedar, malts, creaminess, sweetness, and a touch of herbal notes.
Strength is medium body.

The consensus on this cigar is all over the place. Some giving it a rating of 85 and others 95. Go figure.
The start is totally free of the famous Garcia Pepper Bomb. How odd.
As the cigar burns, more flavors: vanilla, floral notes, honeysuckle, caramel, mocha java, and cinnamon.
Still no spiciness to speak of.

I got two care packages yesterday and I forgot to write down of who gave me what. It is either Tom Collins or Jeff Johnson. I apologize profusely boys for not remembering to write it down.

Construction is top notch…as one expects from a $23 cigar. The burn line is impeccable.
The Garcia folks put out the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary thinking that a mere 5 years of service and production qualifies for a wallet bursting $23 price point. Are they insane? The Padron 50th Anniversary is $25. 5 years? 50 years? $2 difference?

I read several reviews and there aren’t many. Methinks one of two things. The cigar ain’t that great and reviewers with ties to Garcia don’t want to bite the hand that feeds them.
Or…the cigar has proven to need a whole lotta’ humidor time. Old School. Which in general terms, does not describe the My Father and Garcia blends. A good 4 weeks and blends are usually ready to review.

I don’t think I found more than half a dozen reviews for a cigar that’s been out since July of 2015.
I did discover that The Robb Report named it No.5 in its yearly “The 5 Best Limited-Edition Cigars of 2015.” The other four, in order from top to bottom: Quesada Reserva Privada, Trinidad Lost Blends, Macanudo Estate Reserve 2015, and Dunhill Signed Range Selección Suprema. That seems to be an odd, out of touch, list.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 35 minutes.
Strength begins its move towards medium/full body.
The My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary is nothing like I expected. It has disappointed so far.
It is semi-flavorful. But it’s not potent bursting with transitions and flavors. Not to mention, the spiciness is weak.

How many months, exactly, does the cigar need to age in one’s humidor? This may be the reason for some of the lackluster reviews. But then they are the Big Guys who get their cigars from the manufacturers early and therefore can allow them to rest properly. But it is these guys that give the cigar a low rating.

No change in flavors to speak of at the start of the second third. So, it will be relegated to the last third before it perks up and gives us a chance to see what it will taste like in a year. Or maybe not?
A few sips of water and flavors become a bit more interesting.

The creaminess and orange zest give it that Orange Creamsicle flavor. The chocolate is weak. Cinnamon takes the place of pepper. Vanilla, floral notes, honeysuckle, caramel, and mocha java are weak as well. They lay beneath the surface; sort of prick teasers. Even the malts falter. The nuttiness and herbal notes are near the front of the line.

I read the Halfwheel.com review. I have more in common with that review than ever before. The writer is experiencing the same things I do. Grand disappointment.
Now this is a $23 cigar released in July. That’s over 6 months ago.

Google the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary and you can find it everywhere. My Father put out 56,000 cigars for the U.S. A huge number of online stores still carry the cigar. Not to mention the list of B & M’s that carry it.

It’s not selling. A brilliant blend released over 6 months ago should have been scooped up by now. Regardless of the price. I think My Father stepped on its own dick.

I get a serious issue with the burn line. Time to touch it up.
I had really high hopes for this blend. I never would have thought it would disappoint.
Strength is just a tad bit over medium body.
Halfway point. Smoke time is 50 minutes.

Man, this is a bummer. Clearly, the halfway point does not bring the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary to life.
And then a miracle happens. Flavors arrive like the Rose Parade.
The spiciness finally hits like a neutron bomb. Big bold black pepper.

The creaminess, orange zest, chocolate, malts, vanilla, herbal notes, sweetness, caramel, floral notes, and cedar all put their right foot in and do the Hokey Pokey.
About fucking time.

This should not be the case for an expensive cigar. It should be ready to go in a reasonable amount of time. It should shine from the first 5 puffs. Even if it were green, that famous Garcia Blast of Pepper should have been there.
And now, I’m having recurring burn issues.

Maybe with 9 months of humidor time, this blend will shine.

I believe that Garcia was the leader of the New Breed style of blenders. No extensive humidor time required for those anxious to smoke his blends.
At this point, I cannot recommend the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary. Even if it improves in the last third. I have no idea if the blend will be a killer half a year from now. It’s the chance you take reviewing a cigar that is a gift. One never really knows how much humidor time it received. And then again, it might have nothing to do with the flavor profile.

Halfwheel didn’t think much of the cigar and I betcha a dollar, they never review a cigar before it’s time. They have the opportunity to let it rest til its ready. But still gave it an 86.

Based on the date of their review, I’m guessing they gave it two months of rest. And we pretty much agree on the outcome.
The only transitions are the flavors coming and going. One moment they are in full display. The other, missing in action.

The My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary is missing oomph, zest, and strength. It actually seems to be slipping from medium+ to mild/medium body. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Supply and demand is the measuring stick for this stick. Go to any of the boutique online stores and see the expensive cigars fly off their shelves. Smokers don’t mind spending their monthly food allowance if the cigar is worth it.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 20 minutes.
Still not impressed. Strength has moved to medium/full body. This helps.
If this is, in fact, all there is to the My Father Limited Edition 2015 5th Anniversary; it belongs in the $5 category.

Cigar Aficionado only rates it an 88. This is all it had to say about the cigar: “Wrapped in a gorgeous cover leaf, this hefty cigar starts out slightly bitter and herbal but warms to show an earthy smoke with some woodiness as well.” Not exactly high praise.
Based on The Robb Report, this is a great cigar. But their other choices leave me scratching my head.

I could not find a single Top 25 Cigars of 2015 list with this cigar on it.
Clearly, My Father really fucked the duck on this one. As it was released in July, it had 5 months to impress smokers who make the lists. And it couldn’t make one list.
Flavors are a bit better. There is a nice warmth to the blend. The newly formed strength makes a big difference.
A seam comes loose. Natch.
I hope I review a better cigar for you tomorrow.

As the last third burns, the flavor profile increases to something more interesting than the rest of the cigar.
Cigar King, who sells cigars, reviewed it. And they come to the same conclusion as most other reviewers. Dud. And yet they sell the cigar. That must have been tough but I respect their honesty.
Another big guy review site makes the cigar sound like the Second Coming.
Cigar Coop doesn’t review it. That surprises me a lot. And also says a lot.
I found dozens of online stores selling them. But couldn’t find more than 5 or 6 reviews.
And only one thinks it is manna from the gods.
I want to thank the kind reader that sent me this cigar. And I apologize for this review. I’m sure you were hoping for a rave review.

RATING: 85

I really hesitate printing the following as it will give my detractors some fodder for attacking me. But my loyal readers should know…regardless of the outcome.

I went to the U of W Medical College yesterday. I had high hopes that I wouldn’t get the same crap I got from the 2 neurologists I saw prior to this visit by 6-9 months.
And now the results of my doctor visit at U of W Froedtert Medical Center:
BULLSHIT X 10!!

I have been diagnosed with “Pseudo-Dementia” brought on be very severe depression.
Again, BULLSHIT!!!

First, I don’t feel depressed. I understand depression. I don’t feel hopeless or all the other symptoms that come with severe depression. I’ve taken a stiff upper lip approach to what is happening to me. It is what it is. There is nothing I can do about it so I might as well do the best I can. As long as I have my cigars, I’m just fine. I realize that things could be a whole lot worse. I don’t have cancer or any other terrifying disease. For that, I’m grateful. I’m not depressed.

Let me explain. Every single esteemed medical web site like the Mayo Clinic and the Alzheimer’s Association say that several things are needed to rule out Alzheimer’s.
The first is taking blood, of course.
Not a single neurologist has taken my blood.
The second is an MRI.
No MRI was ordered by anyone.

So they give me these stupid children’s quizzes; which I mostly fail.

Now the following is that part I want you to read very carefully:
My mother had serious health issues from the time I was 9 or 10 until I was 18. She died at age 42.
All the doctors proscribed that it was in her head. She had severe depression. They put her on anti-depressants and lo and behold, she never got better.
In fact, she got worse. Much worse.

Because she didn’t cooperate with the doctors by getting well, they subjected her to electro-shock therapy 3 times in a year. Of course, that only made things worse as this poor woman was suffering something awful with an illness the doctors misdiagnosed.

It wasn’t until the last three months of her life, when she weighed 60lbs, that they admitted her to UCLA Medical Center.

In just a few days, they diagnosed her with Crohn’s Disease; but it was too late. All of her organs were failing. She experienced the most horrible death of anyone I’ve known, then, and since.

Now, my esteemed team of doctors is telling me I need a head doctor who will administer medications to alieve my depression and I will be well again. No more dementia.
Pardon me if I say FUCK YOU to all of them.

They didn’t take a single vial of blood nor did they order an MRI. I could have any of a million things wrong with me that isn’t answered by getting children’s puzzles wrong.
And by the way, I failed all those tests at U of W too.

So, I am not going to a head doctor that will pump me full of anti-depressants which will make me suffer even more.

Back in the mid 90’s, I suffered from mild clinical depression as a result of stress from work.
I was a great construction project manager. I made the company money. Lots of it. So they piled on the jobs until I sometimes had nearly 30 projects to command.

I was losing it, because I couldn’t keep up, so I saw a shrink. He put me on a regimen of anti-depressants which didn’t help. I did go see a therapist to talk about my troubles and after 4-5 sessions, I seemed to be OK and able to deal with the stress of my job. The anti-depressants were useless. I took myself off of them.

But mind you, I had nothing close to the symptoms I have now. Forgetting how to play bass. Unable to write like I used to. Forgetting names, words, places, my way home. Wanting to be isolated because I stammer or pee my pants.

Something is wrong with me and it ain’t fucking depression.

The same thing will happen to me as my mother. I will eventually become very ill, the light switch will come on for the doctors, but by then it will be too late and I will die much too early. And miserably.

All I’m asking for is a simple blood test. An MRI. Is that asking too much? I was actually told by all of the neurologists, I didn’t need any of that.

One last thing. The questions I spent hours answering were non-starters. They had only yes or no answers. They were impossible to answer correctly.
This is a garden variety-type question: “Have you stopped masturbating?”
How do you answer that question?
Now you know what I’ve been up against.

My mother must be rolling in her grave. And my father, who was mis-diagnosed as well at the age of 78, died a horrible death at age 80 because the doctors missed the symptoms and fucked up. He could have easily lived another 10-15 years. He was a strong, sturdy man.

I’ve done extensive research since the diagnosis.
I’ve read papers from esteemed medical organizations online that are all in agreement. They say that there is no positive link between depression and dementia.
They go on to say that patients with dementia do suffer from depression at different levels.

But not one says, unequivocally, that depression is linked to dementia or Alzheimer’s. There is no medical proof. And lots of studies have been made trying to link the two.

I fear that it is all part of the Medicare curse. Since obtaining Medicare, I have found something in common with all of the doctors I’ve visited. They won’t take extra steps to investigate, make determinations, test, or cure any illness that can be explained away with a bullshit diagnosis that will save the health system they belong to a ton of money.

These health care systems, with contracts with Medicare, must take what Medicare offers. That’s it. But they can bill me for the balance; which is what they are doing. And my debt is horrifying.

Dr. Diane Book spent twice the allotted time for my appointment convincing my wife that I’m mentally ill. Yes. Depression is considered a mental health issue. And the bane of all diseases. This diagnosis takes them off the hook for extended care and testing and push it on to the mental health professional. Now it’s their problem. And if it turns out that the patient is not depressed, or only has minor depression; caused by some illness….well, the original doctors have already washed their hands of the problem.

So here I am. Misdiagnosed. An unexplained illness that affects my brain. And no answers. Of course, if I had a great healthcare plan, this would have gone completely different. Blood panels would have been ordered. An MRI would have been ordered. Maybe even a PET scan. And follow ups with other specialists.

So that extra 40 minutes Dr. Book spent with Charlotte will be considered money well spent by disposing of a possible patient whose illness could cost that health care system a lot of money.
I’m still giving up the reviewing.

The misdiagnosis doesn’t change that as I can’t keep a straight thought in my head. I still don’t remember how to play bass. And it takes me hours and hours to write anything. What I’ve just written has taken 4 hours. And the use of a dictionary, Thesaurus, grammar tutoring sites, and Spell Check. As well as re-writing it over and over til it came out like this.

At this point in my life, the only thing that makes me really happy is smoking cigars. I crave them to almost an obsessive nature. I appreciate the cigar care packages I’ve received. I will miss writing. And so I’ve decided that if I get a cigar that really wows me, I will return to write a review; illness notwithstanding.

Thanks to everyone for sticking with me.

Last note: I need another humidor. I have one 40 count that holds the cigars for my daughter’s wedding party. And I have two 200 count humidors. But both have electronic humidifiers that take up more than half the space.

If you have a humidor you want to donate or sell, please contact me at phillipkohn@gmail.com. I will gladly pay postage. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not swimming in cigars. But I am of the mindset that it isn’t good to jam pack the humidors. Not good for the cigars so I need another one.
Thanks.

Wrapper: Honduran
Binder: Honduran
Filler: Honduran
Size: 6 x 46 “Prensado-Toro-Box Pressed”
Body: Full
Price: $12.00 MSRP

Today we take a look at the new Eiroa First 20 Years.
Thanks to Miguel Castro for the cigars.

DESCRIPTION:
Debuted at the 2015 IPCPR trade show.
The word “Prensado” translates to compressed or pressed.

There are plenty of good cigar news source web sites that can tell you all you want, and more, about the background of this cigar. I’m too focakte to copy and paste all of it.

Interesting presentation.
The parchment-looking paper is a clever bill board. And slides off easily.
The cigar band is a bit classier than what we’ve become used to with other Eiroa blends. It looks more marketable. Simple, but classy and beautiful.

The wrapper is a mottled, semi-oily coffee bean brown. There is a fine sandiness to the touch but I doubt will show up in my photos.

Seams are very tight. Lots of small veins. And a slight rustic quality in terms of the cigar being a little bent, bumpy, and lumpy. But the stick is rock solid. With almost no give to it.
The soft box press looks a little squished. And the triple cap is applied well but with a couple indentations. But otherwise, looks like a pro.

SIZES AND PRICING:
(Prensado) 6 x 46: $12.00 MSRP
5 x 50 Robusto $12.00 MSRP
6 x 54 Toro $13.00 MSRP
6 x 60 Gordo $14.00 MSRP

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell cinnamon, chocolate, spice, slight barnyard, coffee, and wood.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell very strong cinnamon, coffee, dark chocolate, powerful spice, cream, nuts, and wood.
The cold draw presents flavors of, once again, strong cinnamon, coffee, dark chocolate, nuts, cream, spice, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is a little tight.
Flavors bolt out of the starting gate: Chocolate, malts, black pepper, nuts of all sorts, creaminess, coffee, generic sweetness, and cedar.
Nice start. It’s not making me wait til the last third to kick in. Its bombs away.

Some lemon citrus appears. Subtle, but a nice tartness to accent the sweetness.
Strength is medium body.

And less than half an inch in, the flavor profile explodes. Creaminess and black pepper vie for first place. Cinnamon is definitely in second place. Chocolate, nuttiness, coffee, cedar, and cedar follow right behind. A bit of spicy nutmeg appears for the first time.

The Eiroa First 20 Years is very chocolaty now. It is so creamy that it tastes like sticking a whipped cream can up to your mouth and letting it coat your throat.
Strength is medium/full body.

I reviewed the Eiroa CBT Maduro back in July of 2014. That blend bowled me over. I reviewed the Aladino by Julio R. Eiroa back in August of 2015 and it didn’t get a good review.

At this point, I am inclined to say that the CBT Maduro was a better blend. I’m not saying that the Eiroa First 20 Years isn’t really as good because I’ve only smoked 1-1/2”. I am saying that the CBT Maduro came out of the gate like Yosemite Sam firing both six shooters.

The Eiroa First 20 Years probably needs a few months of humidor time. But with only 18 days to go, I had to make an executive decision and review a cigar I’ve only had for a week. Some blends explode ROTT. Others need a week. Others need you to forget about them til the 4th of July.

Mind you, the Eiroa First 20 Years is extremely flavorful. A very nice blend. While the MSRP is $12, everyone is selling it for around a buck less. Others are selling it for the maximum retail price. None of the usual suspects of discount online stores carry it yet. Or did and sold out.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 23 minutes.
Meanwhile, the Eiroa CBT Maduro is regular production and available everywhere online. The pricing is pretty much the same as the Eiroa First 20 Years. I predict I’m going to urge you to buy the CBT Maduro instead of the Eiroa First 20 Years. But I could be wrong.

Here they are: Creaminess, chocolate, malts (Chocolate Rye Malt, Coffee Malt, and Marris Otter Malt – See Malt Chart), mocha java, black pepper, cinnamon, lemon citrus, cedar, nuts, a rich earthy note, and sweetness.

Halfway point. Smoke time is 40 minutes.
Now as lovely as this cigar is, it is not unique. I like it and am glad I have a couple more to smoke.
There is a whole list of cigars this good on “The Katman’s Best 210 Boutique Brands/Blends in the $6-$11.00+ Range.”

If you want an outstanding maduro for $12, buy the La Hoja Edición Maduro 1962. It is the blend I will hand out to some of the wedding party this May.

Some caramel shows up to take away the word “generic” from sweetness.

The coffee becomes extremely strong now. It moves the chocolate out of second place and the creaminess out of first place. It tastes like an expensive chocolate hard candy. Ever try Lake Champlain coffee candy? Yum.

Construction is good. A wavy burn line. But all in all, a decently constructed cigar.
There is a minimum of transitions. Just enough to keep the Eiroa First 20 Years interesting. But it finds itself short of being complex. The balance is good. The finish could be a lot better.
The Eiroa First 20 Years is cruising on potential only…I hope.

And then as the last third nears, I get a big blast of pepper. And flavors become intense. The cigar finds its complexity. The balance is perfect. And the finish is now long and chewy.
Finally. I’m sure that this is what the Eiroa First 20 Years will taste like from the start in a couple of months.

This is how the Eiroa CBT Maduro tasted from the beginning. Especially, that big pepper bomb blast.
The CBT Maduro had a wider range of flavors.

I find it odd that there is so much similarity between the CBT and the First 20 Years.
The Eiroa First 20 Years was shipped and released mid-November. I found only two reviews of this cigar. Only two Big Guys reviewed it. One gave it a rave review with very little information about flavors. And the other was a short review in which it basically said it was a disappointment. Probably due to the all Honduran leaves used for the blend. I concur.

I think Christian Eiroa should have zigged when he zagged on this blend. It is a very decent smoke but not worth the $12-$14 price range. More on the $8-$9 level if I had to guess blind.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 5 minutes.
Strength is barely medium/full.

The complexity helps flesh out the flavor profile. But even with the momentary blasts of greatness, it is not quite deserving of a commemorative title such as the First 20 Years.
For that, this should have been a big meaty cigar blend. Instead, it falls into the same mosh pit as hundreds of other good cigars with similar flavor profiles.

The photo below shows clearly the holographic image imprinted in the cigar band:

There is a long list of flavors that could have made this a unique cigar: fruitiness, different sweetness factors, herbal notes, baking spices, and a host of other elements.
So the narrow parameter of the flavor profile keeps the blend from getting a rave review.
Maybe this is only potential. But the couple reviews gave the cigar a lot more humidor time than I did and nothing changed.

I truly respect the Eiroa family. They were pioneers in the cigar industry. Camacho used to be a great brand. Unfortunately, the online stores selling the old blends are selling them cheap for one reason: They’ve lost their zing.

The last 1-1/2” has a wonderful flavor profile. And super complex components. The other two reviews don’t align with my review any longer. I think all of the reviewers who don’t divulge how long they allowed the cigar to rest before their review does a disservice to their readers.

I’m having trouble keeping the balance of the cigar lit.

I wasn’t rating cigars when I reviewed the Eiroa CBT Maduro. But reading it this morning, I would have rated it a 92. Clearly, that was a better cigar. And still plentiful online.

The Big Guys haven’t reviewed it for two reasons: First, they probably received a box from the manufacturer. And through testing it in the last two months since release decided it wasn’t ready.
Or second, they decided not to review it at all because they didn’t want to write a semi-negative review pissing Christian off. Remember, the big guy reviewers are in the cigar industry. I’m not. So they have to tread carefully. I don’t.

RATING: 88

If you read my dumb ass manifesto yesterday, before I removed it out of embarrassment, you know that I went through hell getting a proper diagnosis for what is happening to my brain. I called the medical center to get an appointment and it took over 4 months. I was told the doc only saw so many Medicare patients per month so I had to wait. The nurse took down my other doctors’ info so they could get all the reports.

Guess what. They failed to get them by the day of my appointment. They had over 4 months to make sure my appointment was relevant.

So Dr. Book had nothing to work with. But still felt comfy making her half assed diagnosis after only 40 minutes of tests and discussion.

The 3rd neurologist I saw gave me a 6 hour test that seemed like children’s quizzes and other simple written and oral tests. I received a long report in the mail and it said I failed all of the tests; dramatically. It concluded something was very wrong.

But Dr. Book never got that report. Plus she never got a secondary report that is made only for the eyes of other doctors which I was not allowed to see.

So, her diagnosis was I was depressed. Yet, I didn’t fit any of the symptoms listed under the definition of depression. I am comfortable with what is happening. Frustrated? Of course. But I don’t have the feeling of hopelessness. I don’t spend all day in bed. I don’t want to commit suicide. And so on.

The day after my appointment, yesterday, I got a call from Dr. Book’s office telling me they got the missing reports and that I need to come back in. So, I go in this Monday. Not 4 months from now.
Could the all-seeing and all-knowing Dr. Book have possibly been wrong with her diagnosis that she freely gave without the test results from that torturous 6 hour test?

Ever since Medicare became my health care provider, I’ve gotten subpar treatment for everything I’ve gone to the doctor for. I swear that the docs take a class that instructs them how to get the Medicare patient out of their sight so they don’t have to treat them to save money.

So, Monday we shall see what we shall see. Charlotte and I had a big fight over whether I should go or not. I want to wash my hands of all the doctors. I don’t trust them. I don’t believe them. And I believe their loyalty is with the medical system and not the patient.

I expect the doc to revise her diagnosis. It’s not depression. Duh.

Wrapper: Nicaraguan
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 5 x 54 “Box Pressed”
Body: Full
Price: $25.00

Today we take a look at the Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural.
Thanks to Bryan Kinnaman for the cigar.
Never smoked one. Now seems the time.
Cigar Aficionado’s Top 25 Cigars List of 2014, it received No.7.
In 2015, it received two ratings: a 92 and 94.
In its description of the cigar, it said: “Between its dark, reddish gleam and perfect pressing, this cigar is beautiful to behold. The draw delivers abundant notes of coffee, cocoa bean, nuts and rich earth.”

DESCRIPTION:
A fairly crisp box press. I can no longer remember to write down the names of readers who send me cigars. It’s not that I’m getting a slew of care packages, but I just forget in the excitement of getting a package, to write down the name and the cigars in the package. So, once again, I ask for your indulgence. Please email me and tell me who sent this to me so I can thank you.

Back to the Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural. It has the appearance of a dark bittersweet chocolate candy bar. Glistening from oils. Nearly invisible seams. Very few veins. A perfect triple cap. And solid as a rock.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell chocolate, coffee, spice, honey sweetness, cream, cedar, and barnyard.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell barnyard, very, very strong spiciness, almonds, chocolate, coffee, sweetness, and cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of steak sauce, spiciness, sweetness, coffee, nuts, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
For such a packed cigar, it has a very airy draw.
Spice bomb attack. Love that.
Then a barrage of chocolate, cream, sweetness, rich dark earthy notes, cinnamon, nuts, cedar, and fruit.

It appears that this Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural was aged perfectly. What a huge relief.
The spice is black pepper…and lots of it. I’m a junkie for spice in my cigars. I know the purist master blenders poo poo that considering a spicy cigar not finished in its fermentation process but they were forced to give in because American cigar smokers love the spiciness.

The char line starts off neat as pin and, fingers crossed, stays that way. For $25, I expect perfect construction.
Strength comes out of the gate at medium/full. What a great blend and it unrolls its potency in the first quarter of an inch.

This morning’s music selection it “The Fabulous Thunderbirds-Live.” I love this album. And as I’ve said before, the bassist, drummer, and guitarists have been friends since the early 80’s. And Stephen Hodges, the drummer, and I went to high school together and played in cover bands in the 60’s and 70’s.
My dear friend, Rick Tunstall, sent me a pair of super pro head phones so that I could record my bass using the software he sent me. But I couldn’t understand, or remember the instructions, he gave me. This was the first sign of something was wrong with me. Thank you dear Rick.

The ash is very flaky and comes off at the half inch mark.
The fruit flavor becomes black cherries.

And here they are in order: Black pepper, coffee, creaminess, chocolate, malts, black cherries, cedar, nuts, rich earthy notes, cinnamon, nutmeg, and a nice sweetness that I can’t identify.

The Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is so complex that no matter how much I smack my lips, I have trouble discerning specific flavors. They have melded into one giant ball of delectable treats.
Speaking of delectable treats, I shaved my balls last night. Just woke up at 3am and decided it was time. I believe they will heal nicely.

While the draw is too airy for my tastes, the jam packed tobacco is making this a very slow smoke. ¾” has taken 15 minutes.
So far, the Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is producing all the qualities of a cigar this expensive. To be honest, it is the first expensive cigar I’ve smoked that seems to be worth it and I still have over 4” to go. Woo Hoo!

The Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural certainly deserved all the awards and ratings it got. But based on my experience, I would have certainly rated it higher than a 92. What CA never explains is the humidor time a cigar gets before being presented to them. They tell you they don’t have the original cigar bands but what about the humidor time allotted to the manufacturer? How much notice do they get that they will be reviewed? Too many holes in the piece of cheese.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 30 minutes.
The char line is wavy. It needs a serious touch up. There should be a razor sharp burn line.
The malts are the usual suspects. If you read me regularly, you should know them by heart by now. The malts are very potent.

But what isn’t potent any longer is the black pepper. It has moved to the middle of the pack. A shame. Maybe resurgence in the last third of the cigar.

I’m having more fun that getting a blow job. Remember, I’m 66 in two weeks or so.

I remember back when I was around 23 a girl I was screwing and gave the worst BJ’s ever. She was a nice looking girl but too skinny. And sex was torturous. First she started off with a BJ but used her horse-like teeth that had me slapping her in the side of the head to get her to stop doing that. It felt like she was scraping the skin from a carrot. My hands were so clenched on the bed, my knuckles were so white that astronauts could see them from space.
And second, when she rode the stallion, she was so skinny that her pubic bone was like being hit with a ballpeen hammer on my pubic bone with every downward strike. The first time we had sex, I had a giant bruise down there for days.

And worst of all, she stopped by whenever she felt like it without giving me notice. I told her to stop doing that. She then became a stalker. And I would close the curtains in the house we rented in Santa Ana, Ca. And when she knocked, I’d be as quiet as a church mouse. Finally, I had to tell her “Go Away!!!!” She finally did after a few more house calls.

Each puff of the Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is pure heaven. I really haven’t smoked a cigar this good in I don’t know how long. Nothing I’ve given high ratings to comes close.
Strength is full bodied now.

Sonja, Curved Air, and I bunked together the first tour. She used to wake me up in the middle of the night with a blow job. It was fun the first few times, but then…believe it or not, it got old. I know, I know…shame on me.

But my girlfriend that I came home to at the end of every tour was much better in bed than Sonja. Because I was new to the Rock Star biz, I figured I’d better go along or fear that I’d be bounced from the band.
Sonja was a major sex kitten in Europe. Everyone knew who she was across the continent. And when we played, the young boys clamored around her in front of the stage. And stood in droves after the concert to get a quick look at her. Meanwhile, I thought you dudes are fucking idiots. I’m banging this broad and she ain’t nothin’ special. LOL.

Transitions are so important to a blend. It adds to the complexity. I get a kick out of some young reviewers that no one has heard about that don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. While I did some research, I found this one site in which the reviewer actually said, “This cigar is very nice. It stays the same throughout the smoke.” LOL
Now that’s experience for you.

A honey element and dried fruit component appear that take over the sweetness category.
I’m ruined for the rest of the day.

BTW- Someone sent me a cigar not sold in the States called El Septimo. And the one stick I got is called the Short Dream Topaz series. Never heard of them and if I did the math correctly, it is an extremely expensive cigar. So would the kind reader that sent it to me please contact me. Based on the money conversion, the cigar goes for $683.00.
Please contact me.

I don’t have enough cigars to review every day until Feb.10. So I will probably take a couple breaks.
Halfway point.
Smoke time is one hour.

Music change. Out goes the Fabulous Thunderbirds and in comes Led Zep.
I’m wearing this triple CD set blind. Thank you again for the wonderful birthday present Bryan Kinnaman. Best present I’ve gotten in years.
“I’ve been so dazed and confused for so long…” My theme song as of late. LOL.

The Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is a masterpiece of blending. I usually rail against the cost of expensive cigars that are certainly not worth it.
But I’d pay $25 for this cigar. I’ve reviewed $15-$25 cigars in the past and not one was worth the price.

The transitions are fast and furious.

Something I’ve never addressed. The first time I saw Zep in concert, I was blown away when I saw Jimmy Page use a violin bow on his Les Paul.
So both the guitarist and I, in the band Homegrown, went out and bought ourselves bows.
He had more success than I did. I could only use the bow on my E string and G string. Why? Because I didn’t have an arched bridge like stand up basses have. But I still made the most of it and got it down pretty well for the right songs.

Here they are once again: Nuts, creaminess, coffee, black cherries, chocolate, malts, dried fruit, cinnamon, black pepper, and cedar.
The Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural is a powerful cigar. And only now, do I feel the effects of nicotine. My motor functions are slowing down. My vision is blurred. And I can’t get an erection.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 20 minutes.
The draw is right where it should be now. A little resistance but no longer airy.
I am so nicotine bloated, I don’t notice in the photo below I’ve taken a picture of the cigar with the wrong side showing:

The nicotine slows me way down.
Too many touch ups required for a $25 cigar.
The spiciness returns as predicted.

The black cherry element is very strong now. And a touch of honey complements it.
The coffee and creaminess makes for a great cappuccino.
The nuttiness spreads out: Almonds, pepitas, raw cashew, and hazelnuts.
Damn. I’m impressed. Such a relief after a couple dud cigars.

The nicotine calms down. So do I.

I’m not taking Charlotte with me to see Dr. Book tomorrow at the U of W Medical College to hear her new diagnosis. She now has all the test results from the other neurologists I saw. And her instant diagnosis of severe depression has changed.
This time, I’m going to demand blood be taken and an MRI scheduled.

I know the price is ridiculous. But this is such an outstanding blend, that I must eat my words about expensive cigars never being worth the price point.
I’m curious about the other Family Series blends.
Final smoke time is one hour 40 minutes.
Everyone should try at least one Padrón Family Reserve 50 Years Natural.

RATING: 95

Here is Why You are Really Reading Me Cause It Ain’t for the Reviews, Honey Pie:
1974

Curved Air’s first tour was with the four out of five original members of the band. I was the only new addition. They were very nice people; at first. They treated me well. Of course, that would change. Politics of Dancing.

A PR photo shoot was planned to be at Miles Copeland’s house in St. John’s Wood. A block away, was the famous EMI Studio, also known as Abbey Road Studio. It was the only road in London that the city stopped putting up street signs. They painted the name of the road on block walls in front of houses. Tourists stole the signs about 15 minutes after they were installed.

Stewart Copeland lived in a flat about 3 doors down from the studio. We were really poor. Management only paid us 50£ a week to survive on. But they also paid our rent and expenses. On the road, the pay doubled.

Stew and I hung out together a lot. So we had dinner together all the time. He showed me his poor man’s dinner of cooked spaghetti with melted butter and four brussel sprouts on it. Actually, it was very tasty. And cheap. That’s right. Only 4 brussel sprouts. Two per man.

I had only known the band a week when we did the first photo shoot. We hadn’t even rehearsed yet. Darryl, the leader and violinist of the band, picked me up in his little Triumph. A two seater with a bit of a tiny storage area behind the seats.

After picking me up, we headed to Miles’ house. The shoot was a lot of fun because I had never done anything like this before. I was only 24. And my first foray into big time music. Plus it was my chance to meet the band and SONJA!

Getting into his car required a can opener and a shoe horn. When the photo shoot was over, we immediately went to Miles’ bar and helped ourselves. Miles wasn’t around. Miles had one of those 200 year old houses that was lavish and historical.

It was time to leave and Sonja asked for a ride home to Hampton Heath. I allowed her the front seat and I found myself jammed into the back like a small piece of luggage or rat dog. Man, that was uncomfortable.

It began to pour buckets of rain on the way. And it was rush hour. Both of them smoked cigarettes and I have never smoked a cig in my entire life; hand to God.

The windows had to be closed because of the torrential rain. Not even a tiny crack open. Pretty soon, I got car sick. The cigarette smoke and the cramped quarters and the stopping and going really did a number on me. I begged them to open a window but when they tried, the rain came in.

We finally dropped off Sonja. I was sick as a dog and it had taken us a good hour to get her home.
She invited us in and Darryl accepted because he wanted a drink. He was an alchy. Sonja immediately came on to me. I must have been pale as a ghost and ready to blow chunks. She rubbed herself up and down against me. First time I couldn’t get a boner.

This is the only photo I have of that photo shoot. L-R Florian Pilkington-Miksa, Francis Monkman, Sonja Kristina, Darryl Way, and me:

I got in the front seat and I told Darryl how car sick I was. He laughed and told me he had the cure. We stopped at a pub. He told me the cure was a snifter of brandy. I had my doubts but I was new to the band and played along. I felt anything on my part could get me fired.

Well, as you can imagine, the brandy only made it worse. We got back in his car where I immediately puked on his floor. We pulled over, in the pouring rain, and he made me clean it up. He was gagging from the smell, and sight, of what I did. I started to get the dry heaves.

All I could think was I wasn’t making a good impression on my boss.

The car’s windshield wipers didn’t work right and Darryl had to keep putting his arm out of the window and use a rag on the glass so he could see. Meanwhile, I used another rag to get rid of the fogged wind screen. (That’s what they call a wind shield in the UK)

We got to a four way stop controlled by Bobbies. Darryl couldn’t see and went right through the stop. A Bobbie in the middle of the road stopped us and began to yell.

Darryl explained and the cop let us go. Darryl drove another 30 feet and actually hit a Bobbie
controlling traffic. He was going slow and just knocked him over. All of the cops descended on us and the yelling did not help my stomach. But they let us go with a warning. In America, we would have both been gunned down in the car. Bobbies were pretty even keeled blokes. They had to be. NO guns. Just a night stick.

An hour later, I was finally home. Where I went straight to bed and lay there moaning for God knows how long.
They never let me hear the end of that. For over two years, that story came up every 20 minutes in mixed company.
I have never written about this. Why now? Who knows? I must suffer from PTSD from that incident.

Damn!
I didn’t review this morning because I needed to see my doctor. I had a 7am appt. Just got home.

Tests are complete. More tests were given than I thought possible. The morning was spent doing tests and then I saw the doc at the completion of those tests. And she was presented with the results.

Mayo Clinic does that. You go in. See the doc. The doc prescribes all the tests you need. You spend whatever time it takes to get the tests done. You then see your doctor and he/she has the results for you.

Well, being honest is going to be hard. I will tell you this; I wish I hadn’t fought so hard about the diagnosis being severe depression. Because this is way worse.

I have something that can be one of two illnesses. I’m not ready to name them yet as I still need a super specialist to verify the test results. This doc is the leading specialist in this disease and is located in Bethesda, MD. At the National Institute of Neurological Disorders & Stroke. He should get back to my doc this afternoon or tomorrow.

This was like a punch to the gut. If they had taken my blood and done these tests a year ago when the symptoms arose…well, this could have been addressed much sooner. So a whole year was wasted.

If it is what they think it is, the illness has three long names that are 20 words long. Named after the doctors that discovered this illness.

As I pointed out in an earlier post, doctors caused the death of both my mother and father because they had their heads up their asses.
My doctors are no different. Blowing me off for a year was malpractice as far as I’m concerned. Especially, with the now nearly 100% certainty of the test results.

I will continue to review as promised. I don’t think I have enough to write every day but I have a pretty cool cigar to review on my last day.

After this, I choose not to speak of it again. Other than to come back and write a couple sentences that names the illness. You can Google it if you want to. I don’t have it in me to write about it.
I should know most definitively in a day or so.

P.S.
If the right cigars come my way, I will show up now and again to review them. But I’m wholly dependent on you, my readers.

I also have some donated cigars that were new when I got them. Based on gut instinct, I feel they need a lot of humidor time. So if all goes well, and my health allows it, I will come back to review them.

My medical expenses just took a quantum leap. The meds to treat this illness will be terribly expensive.
Charlotte and I decided we have get out of this nice rental house and rent a shit hole somewhere…before we get evicted because we are paying for medical treatment instead of making whole rent payments.

The upside? I can now eat as much bacon as I like.

Wrapper: Nicaraguan Habano Oscuro
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Nicaraguan
Size: 5 x 52 “Robusto – Airosos”
Body: Full
Price: $6.80 MSRP ($6.00 at Cuenca Cigars)

Today we take a look at the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano.
Thank you to Miguel Castro for the cigars.

They can be had for around $6.00 from my friend Ana at Cuenca Cigars. Tell her the Katman sent you.

I couldn’t find more than one review. So I don’t have much background from the usual new sources. I believe it was released after the 2015 IPCPR trade show.
I smoked one after receiving it about a week ago and it was definitely a New Breed style of blending. It was pretty damn good.
I haven’t had to dry box a review cigar in quite a while. But these cigars were received a bit damp so I give them 48 hour breathing time.

BACKGROUND:
Factory: El Galan Cigars S.A.
Regular Production.

From the Antillian Cigar web site:
“Brand spankin’ new cigar from El Galan! El Galan is a brand by master blender Felix A. Mesa who owns his own cigar factory in Esteli, Nicaragua. Many of our own new Sosa brand of cigars are made out of El Galan’s factory. The Reserva Especial is a full Nicaraguan cigar: Nicaraguan wrapper, binder and filler. All cigars come beautifully box-pressed. Comes in four sizes: Airosos, Apuestos, Gallardos or Obesos. Not only is this design spectacular, but the cigar is delicious. A medium to full cigar, you are truly missing out if you don’t add this one to your humidor.”

Cigar Snob Magazine rated it a 92 and made it No.18 on their Top 20 Cigars of 2015 List.

DESCRIPTION:
Nice looking soft box press. The wrapper is an oily chocolate mocha color that is silky smooth.
Seams are tight. Few veins. Solid cigar with the proper give.
Sort of a sloppy triple cap.
A dual cigar band. Bright fire engine red that identifies the brand and the secondary merely saying the brand and blend. Also fire engine red with gold and white lettering.

SIZES AND PRICING:
5 x 52 Robusto “Airosos” $6.80 MSRP
5.75 x 54 Robusto Extra “Apuestos” $6.90 MSRP
6 x 52 Toro “Gallardos” $7.20 MSRP
6 x 60 Gordo “Obesos” $7.40 MSRP

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell spice, ginger, coffee, cedar, barnyard, and floral notes.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell strong bittersweet cocoa, red pepper, floral notes, coffee, cedar, barnyard, ginger, and wet wood.
The cold draw presents flavors of spice, coffee, spice, sweetness, cedar, creaminess, and chocolate.
I’m somewhat verklempt this morning. I use two cigars for photos. I use my preferred cigar for nose sniffing. And then I clip the cap. And I light the wrong cigar and can’t figure out why I can’t get any draw on it. Du-oh!

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is perfect.
Flavors spew forth: Strong red pepper, creaminess, chocolate, malts, cedar, baking spices, and coffee.
Nice.

The spice begins to build in only a minute or two until it is a Pepper Bomb. Yeah, baby.
I love that Garcia-like pepper bomb start to a cigar. It wakes you the shit up.

Had to stop and run taking the garbage bins out for pickup this morning. We live in this big duplex and our neighbors are a family of Do Nothings. Two boys in their mid 20’s that work minimum wage jobs while they spend their lives in college accomplishing nothing. The father brags about how smart they are yet they are so lazy, they live at home at 24 and 25. Nice kids but dolts. The wife has been deathly ill for 10 years and all this man wants is for his wife to die. And he is desperately waiting for his parent’s to die so he can get his inheritance.

They used to be nice people. And share the responsibility of taking four bins of trash out and three bins of recyclables. Now I have to do it all: Take them to the curb and return them when the time is right. And they know my back is in small crunchy pieces. I swear it’s like living next to a Seth MacFarlane family.

So now I’m huffing and puffing from running to get it done before the trash guys show up.
I’m calm now. Moe, Larry, Cheese, etc.
Strength is a tad over medium body.

If nothing else, it allowed the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano to rest in the ashtray and the burn to even out.
Flavors are just fucking gorgeous now. The malts make a huge impact on the individual flavors.

No what this blend reminds me of? A well-aged Liga Privada No.9. No shit. For a fraction of the price.
This is a great cigar!

My only criticism is that it needs several touch ups to the char line.
I don’t remember having that problem with my first one a couple days ago. But it was also damper than this 48 hour dry boxed one.

The El Galan Reserva Especial Habano is making a great impression on me. I love everything about it. It has that wonderful balance of being aged perfectly so that every flavor is bold yet nuanced. The El Galan Reserva Especial is very complex at just over 1” burned.
The finish is amazing.

Caramel shows up in heavy doses. So does golden raisins. A nougat element falls into place giving the blend a chocolate candy bar note. Like an expensive chocolate truffle.

Charlotte’s employer, Buddy Squirrel, has an enormous selection of the most decadent chocolates you’ve ever seen. And they have a box of sugar free chocolates. A pound for only $32. Charlotte brought me boxes home for about three weeks straight until I told her to stop because the Maltitol gave me the shits. That specific artificial sweetener tends to do that.

Here they are: Chocolate Rye Malt, Cara Munich Malt, Coffee Malt, Flaked Oats Malt, and Honey Malt. (See Malt Chart).

The complexity of the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano is rich and delicious. Thank you, thank you Miguel for sending me some of these brilliantly blended cigars.
The El Galan Reserva Especial Habano should really go on to “THE KATMAN’S TOP 25 CIGARS OF 2015.”
Strength moves to medium/full.
The char line calms down and seems to be working in tandem with the rest of the perfect construction.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 25 minutes.
Strength seems to be moving above medium/full body.

Yeah, I’m right on this one. If you love the No.9, you will love this cigar.

If you go to Cuenca Cigars, ask to speak to Ana Cuenca. This woman is just about the classiest broad in the cigar biz. (That’s my Frank Sinatra speak). She is so nice and has been a real supporter of the Katman, that I would like you to give her some business.
You can purchase singles, 5 packs and 24 count boxes.

The El Galan Reserva Especial Habano is well packed but it is such a great blend, the time is flying by. I have my DeLorean parked out back.

I’m kvelling. Such a meshugenah crazy cigar blend.
I know this is a travesty and bordering on treason, but I think I like the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano better than the Liga Privada No.9.

This blend gets immensely better with each puff. Have I thanked Miguel? You are one of my most important guardian angels.

I’m not even halfway through the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano and flavors are dripping down my leg. It oozes flavor. It oozes complexity, perfect balance, and a perfect finish.
Yeah, it will take the place of the Enclave by AJ Fernandez at No.14. I will change it after the review.

Here are the flavors in order: Creaminess, malts, red pepper, coffee, chocolate, caramel, vanilla, baking spices, cedar, more malts, raisins, cinnamon, nougat, and very nutty and toasty.
That’s some kind ‘a spicy meat’ a’ ball! Most of you are too young to remember this TV commercial. From the 70’s I believe.

I do believe the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano is giving me super powers.

“Let My Love Open the Door” by The Who. Charlotte left for work. I cranked up the TV Classic Rock TV channel. Great start.
The halfway point. Smoke time is 55 minutes.

If you’ve tried the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano, you know why I’m raving about it. If you haven’t tried it, please go to Cuenca Cigars and give Ana some business.

“My Sweet Lord.” The magical flavor profile qualifies for Super Flavor Bomb. If any cigar I’ve reviewed that I named a flavor bomb deserves it more than any other; it is the El Galan Reserva Especial. And after only a week or so of humidor time.

Felix A. Mesa must have been standing next to Robert Johnson when he made a pact with the devil to make him the best guitarist in the world. So, Mesa must have a DeLorean as well as this happened circa 1930’s.

Sosa is a very good cigar line, depending on the blend, but the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano shines above them all.

I will try to keep track of this man and someday be able to buy his blends. He also blended the wonderful DOÑA NIEVES. Antillian Cigars sent me press releases to publish but they never followed up with the cigars. Back when it came out, I bought some and was blown away.

The other blends in the El Galan line are: Maduro, Natural, Campestre, and the Mini Campestre. I’d love to try them all. Check out the El Galan web site.

And Cuenca Cigars carries them all. I have to finagle some from Ana.
I’d love to try the El Galan Reserva Especial in the Maduro version. I bet it’s a killer.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour 15 minutes.
Know what’s great about this cigar? I smoked it as the last stick of the day the other night and it nearly had all the qualities I am experiencing this morning.

“Rocky Mountain Way” by Joe Walsh. Damn. This song is the reason I became a fretless player. I saw a video of Walsh playing the song live back in 1973. This cooler than shit bassist played a fretless and was swaying to the music like a pro. I wanted to be him. It took another 7 years before I was able to get up the nerve to buy a fretless but once I did, I totally understood what made Walsh’s bassist sway to the music. There is nothing like the sound of a true fretless. And I’m not talking about the new electronic gizmos that make a fretted bass sound like a fretless. And this led me on my journey to buy my Dobro electric upright in 1986.

I want to try the Reserva Especial in the 5.75 x 54 Robusto Extra “Apuestos” size next. This review size is good but I want more.
Transitions are amazing. Never letting up. Never leaving me disinterested. It has my full attention.
Strength is full body.

Jews aren’t supposed to have tattoos. Supposedly, we can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery. But I thought the hell with it and got my ink back in 2005. A traditional old school tat. Notice I put the bass clef and a Star of David on it as well. I’ve told Charlotte I want to be cremated and my ashes sprinkled in the waters between Long Beach and Catalina Island. (We’re not supposed to be cremated either but it’s much cheaper than a traditional burial.)

I have zero complaints about the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano. It’s about as perfect a blend for my palate as possible.
I think I have one or two left. Not sure.
You have to try this stick. And again, please give Cuenca some of your business.

RATING: 95

And now a final word on this subject:

I posted something yesterday describing my revised diagnosis. The dumb ass doctor made a cavalier diagnosis based on no background information from my other neurologists. Shame on her.

So now, I’ve lost at least a year of treatment because of the lackadaisical attitude of my doctors. They don’t know what they don’t know.

Look, this is very serious.

Rather than dwell on it, I prefer to live a full life to the best of my ability.
The illness is very rare. Figures.

But, at the moment, I’ve chosen not to disclose it because I don’t want any pity. And I don’t want the words “The Katman” and my illness spoken of in the same sentence. This is not the legacy I want.

Life is so short. And it should be packed with as much joy and fun and camaraderie as possible. I’ve made so many pen pal friends as a result of my web site. I’m blessed.

And as long as I have cigars to smoke, I can get through the rough spots. Cigars are everything to me at this juncture of my life. They are the focus of my happiness.

The new meds will be disgustingly very expensive and Medicare only pays 80%. And some tests and meds, they won’t pay for at all.
So, at this point, I have no idea what I will be able to afford. Probably none.

Still, I think I’m very lucky. I’m 66 in a few weeks. Other than my skydiving accident, I’ve never suffered anything serious; health-wise.

And my wife and daughter are both healthy and happy. That’s all I need to be happy in this life.
In a bizarre way, it’s finally good to know what’s wrong with me. Takes a lot of frustration and pressure off me. The wondering was driving me crazy. And not being taken seriously by my doctors was incredibly frustrating.

Now I can focus on what’s important.

I love cigars. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing. And thanks to the readers who have filled the coffers, I can chain smoke cigars. I have an obsession that includes having a cigar in my hand all day long. It calms me. Almost a Zen thing.

I have a friend named Fred who is losing his battle with life. He is a big cigar smoker and I’ve helped him out a lot because he can’t afford to buy them because his health care is outrageously expensive.
Now he lies in an induced coma in the hospital clinging to life. His wife doesn’t think he will leave the hospital.

Now that’s scary. I am grateful that I am lucid enough, at the moment, to be able to enjoy cigars. To enjoy my family. To sit in my cave, watch movies, and smoke cigars.

I’ve had a rich life. I had an extraordinary musical career. And I’ve documented as much as I can remember right here on this site.
So, I’m good.

On my last day, February 10, I will formally thank all the folks who stood in my corner and gave me the stool to sit on while waving a towel in my face.
Thanks everyone. I love you all.

:-)

P.S 9:00PM the same day. As I was watching Chris Matthews on MSNBC at 6PM, he had a back and forth with a Bernie Sanders backer. A young congressman from Texas who clearly t’weren’t that bright. Matthews got irritated by his remarks that Sanders would provide free health insurance; birth to death and free college. When the young congressman could not reply how these things would be funded, Matthews told the young man that “…doctors don’t even want to take patients with Medicare anymore. What kind of healthcare do you think the American public will have?”
I’ve been saying this ever since Medicare became my sole health provider. One gets sub par treatment and docs seem to be schooled in how to get rid of Medicare patients toot suite. That’s all.

Wrapper: Ecuadorian Connecticut
Binder: Dominican
Filler: Nicaraguan (Ometepe), Peruvian, Dominican (Piloto, San Vicente Mejorado and Hybrid Olor/Piloto)
Size: 5 X 50 “Robusto – Box Pressed”
Body: Medium
Price: $8.90 MSRP

Today we take a look at the Avo Syncro Nicaragua.
Thanks to Tom Collins for the cigar.
This is a regular production cigar.
And it is the first AVO to contain Nicaraguan tobacco.

SIZES AND PRICING:
Short Robusto: 4 x 52 $7.90 MSRP
Robusto: 5 x 50 $8.90 MSRP
Toro: 6 x 54 $9.90 MSRP
Special Toro: 6 x 60 $10.90 MSRP

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell sugar cookies, spice, coffee, cedar, and cream.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell cloves, spice, chocolate, coffee, cookies, cedar, red cherries, and cream.
The cold draw presents flavors of allspice, cherries, coffee, spice, and cedar.

FIRST THIRD:
The draw is terrific. Just the way I like it.
Big pepper bomb. But an unusual flavor combination: sweetness, creaminess, red cherries, coffee, honey roasted peanuts, nougat, chocolate, and grass.
The complexity kicks in immediately. Balance is great. Nice long finish.
Strength is medium body.

I like it. The odd combo of flavors makes for a real treat.
The spiciness, red pepper, calms down a bit but is still strong. Makes me happy.
The char line is a real gentleman. Behaving perfectly.

This is a big change for Avo Cigars. Usually an Old School blender, this cigar is typically New Breed style. Flavors explode from the beginning after a short period of humidor time.

That strong allspice and clove components begins to waver and fall into the background. The honey roasted peanuts is strong. So is the coffee and creaminess.
The Avo Syncro Nicaragua is so unique, I can’t help myself and look at other reviews. Not one is similar to another. Everyone’s palate is affected differently. Like a lot different.

No one tastes what I taste and I don’t taste what the others taste. A magical mystery tour.
The Avo Syncro Nicaragua needs its first minor touch up.

I notice that the Big Guys all review the cigar prior to its release and its debut at the 2015 IPCPR trade show. I wonder how long the humidor time was?
In fact, I have no idea how long this cigar spent time in a humidor.
With 1-1/4” burned, the excitement of those wondrous flavors flattens out a bit.

It was a roller coaster ride that just stopped on the track. Instead of flavors being bold, they are so nuanced and subtle that I am disappointed.

I am curious and check the big guy reviews to see if they experienced what I just did…a lessening of the flavor profile. And while they don’t bite the hand that feeds them, they do describe minimal flavors that start around the halfway point. In fact, it seems they smoked the cigar too soon as they were probably given pre-release sticks. And wanted to beat the other big guy out and publish a review.
One well respected reviewer says the cigar has a short finish near the end. Actually, I’m not sure when the short finish begins. But the flavors described are minimal.

This is a real shame. The Avo Syncro Nicaragua starts out like fireworks on the 4th of July. And then slowly slinks away.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 30 minutes.
Here are the remaining flavors: Creaminess, coffee, honey, nuts, cedar, and grass.
Charlotte leaves for work and the music goes on. The first song is “Imagine.” What a great song.

I ran into McCartney accidentally back in ’75 when I was in Curved Air living in London. There was only one big guitar shop: The Fender Shop. It was on Tottenham Court Road. A main thoroughfare.
Miles Copeland’s company had a deal with them. We could go in and take home anything we wanted and if we liked it, the company bought it for us.

So, naturally, I was in there a lot trying out basses.
This one day, I was exiting the shop and as I grabbed the handle of the glass door, McCartney was on the outside trying to come in.
I froze.
He shook the handle a bit and I came to. I let go of the handle and he came in. He said to me, “Thanks, mate.” And winked at me.
I wanted to die. I tried to say something to him but all I could do was make gurgling noises. I left the store totally embarrassed.
That’s as close as I came to ever meeting The Beatles during my years in London playing music.

With 3” to go, flavors begin to re-form. The strength moves to medium/full. The spiciness is much stronger now. And the chocolate, creaminess, coffee, nuts, and sweetness are back on my plate.
That was weird.

And then the favorite part of a cigar’s flavor profile occurs: The Malts.
I’ve never read another reviewer who talks about malt flavors. Either I’m nuts (Probably) or they don’t taste it. It is the malt that comes from maturity of the blend. Eat some malted milk balls while you smoke a cigar and tell me I’m wrong.

“In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. My favorite song from him.

The halfway point. Smoke time is 40 minutes.
Coffee and malts move to the front of the line. Here are the malts: Chocolate Rye Malt, Coffee Malt, and Honey Malt. (See Malt Chart).

Strength recedes back to medium body.

Flavors have returned but just not those big and bold flavors. It is more on cruise control.
I don’t know why there was such a lull in the flavor profile for about 10 minutes.
But it seems to be building back to where it started.
Graham cracker. Generic sweetness. Baking spices.

It’s been three weeks to the day that we lost our dog. It really seems harder now than when it happened. We have a noisy cat and I will hear him marching around the place and think it is Ebba. Our neighbors have a dog and since we have a common wall, I sometimes hear her when I’m in the cave and think it is Ebba.

Or when I go out, I think what are we going to do with Ebba. We can’t leave her alone. Or Charlotte goes to be early and asks me to make sure the dog goes out to do her business before I bring her up. Strange mind tricks.

Reviewing the Avo Syncro Nicaragua is almost unfair because of yesterday’s review of the El Galan Reserva Especial Habano. That was damn near a perfect cigar.

The Avo Syncro Nicaragua is pretty good but not even in the same league as the El Galan.

My last day is coming up quickly now. I was given this crazy cigar called El Septimo Diamond Serie Short Dream Topaz by Johnny Piette. You cannot buy them in the States.
It’s a 4 x 60 that costs $126.00.

The web site is mostly in French and is located in Switzerland. I have only one but I thought it would be a great cigar to go out on. We shall see if I step on my dick or not.
The Avo Syncro Nicaragua is missing the all-important transitions.

It mostly picks a flavor profile position and stays there throughout the cigar experience.
It has lost most of its complexity. The balance is only so so. And the finish is short as my esteemed colleague said it was.

I believe that Avo tried to make a New Breed type of blend and just couldn’t get there.
I’m not much of an Avo fan. Too many of their cigars are mild/medium. And they are ridiculously overpriced. They remind me of the Graycliff line. Behind the times. Too much PR and not enough meat.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is one hour.
The flavor profile finally kicks in to match the start of the cigar. Big pepper bomb. Big flavors with the malts leading the pack and coffee following. A natural sweetness that could be honey. The allspice returns.
The strength hits medium/full again.

Now I get a bizarre flavor combination. S’mores. Graham crackers with toasted marshmallow and chocolate between them. Lovely.

Transitions finally begin. The balance is better. The finish is a bit longer.
So the last third is the sweet spot.

I never went for the Nub philosophy that the whole cigar was the sweet spot. I think the premise fooled people into thinking it was so, but I never found it to be true. Plus a stubby cigar is a pain in the ass to smoke.

The only Nub I found to be tasty was the Nub S.E. Box Pressed Maduro. That’s a pretty good blend. And the only Nub I found worthy of a review.

The Avo Syncro Nicaragua has required too many touch ups.

The Police playing “Roxanne” on the Classic Rock channel on my TV.
Got a good Curved Air story featuring Stew Copeland at the end of the review. Drugs involved, of course.
I hadn’t published this story in over 18 months and with all the new readers…why not?

The Avo Syncro Nicaragua finishes without much flare. It was basically a tasty cigar blend but a bit Schizo. Very good here and so so there. The creaminess and coffee are the prominent flavors at the end.
At $9.00 a stick…well, I think you have better choices. Like the under $7.00 El Galan Reserva Especial Habano.
One last note. I dissed the Eiroa First 20 Years pretty hard a couple reviews ago. I’ve smoked a couple since and while it was better than the review cigar, I don’t think it’s worth $12.00.

RATING: 88

And now for something completely different:
Into the Way Back Machine…1974

When you are young, you think you are made of Teflon. You do all the drugs of the specific era you happen to grow up in.
For me, it was weed, hashish, LSD, mushrooms, and peyote. Hallucinogens were our drugs of choice. At least among my friends.

Coke was rarely seen til the 80’s. And none of us were stupid enough to even try heroin.
No matter what band I played in, we rehearsed stoned. We played out stoned. We got stoned after the gig before we headed out to feed ourselves in self-congratulatory adrenaline.

I never played in a band before I was 50 that wasn’t always stoned. It was around that time that employers began doing random drug screenings. And being a big shot in construction was not a good place to be and caught being stoned.

Give you an example. Smoke a J and then do a simple problem using the Pythagorean Theorem. See?

When Curved Air went on tour, we had a standing ritual. Stew, the drummer, and I would always run off stage when the violinist did his 15 minutes of tortuous psychedelic meanderings that really jazzed up the audience.

Waiting for us, was our trusted roadies: Beric Wickens and Moray Smith. One held the hash pipe and the other, the lighter.

Stew and I would puff our brains out for a good 10 minutes. And none of this wussy European method of mixing cigarette tobacco with the hash. We were AMERICANS! We smoked our hash straight up.

The Europeans whined like pussies that they got too high smoking it that way so Stew and I, the AMERICANS, would pittle puff in their face and call them wankers of the highest order. I believe the queen of England has a medal for that.

One night, Stewart got extremely stoned. He was stumbling all over the place waiting to go back on after Darryl’s solo.
His drum kit was on a huge riser. Probably a good 4-5 feet tall. And the stage we were on was another 5 feet tall.

The stupid song we played after the solo was the completion of our theme song, “Vivaldi” named after the composer. Darryl loved Vivaldi. And the song was based on his compositions in which he liked to use the circle of fifths…a lot.

For non-musicians, a circle of fifths means this:
Here are the notes in the scale: A, B, C, D, E, F, and G. Of course there are sharps and flats.
Say we start on the A chord. The next chord to be played is the E chord. The chord after that is the B chord. After that is the F chord and so on until you make your way back to A and takes a total of 8 chords. Then Darryl would take the whole thing up a half step starting with A#. And so on. Now if you got lost, you were royally fucked.

The song ended with this huge drum flourish and Stew, who liked to go nuts (unlike his days in The Police), would raise his arms at the end and Ba Dum!!!

Well, this time, he was so stoned, he lost his balance when he raised his arms and he fell backwards….over 8 feet to the stage’s concrete floor.

Luckily for him, that is exactly where the roadies stored his drum cases. So they broke his fall the last four feet.
It ripped all the skin from his forearms. Literally gone.

Darryl looked back to see where Stew was only to see him AWOL.

The roadies ran back to help Stew up. His eyes were like saucers. And he ran back on stage to thunderous applause of 10,000 people.

He finished and ran to the dressing room.

The chick singer insisted on calling an ambulance fearing worse damage than skinless forearms. That sounds a lot like skinless foreskin.

We heard the “Eee-Ooo, Eee-Ooo” of the ambulance approaching. I could never get used to that Nazi Germany type of siren. Years later, they converted to American sounding sirens.

We stayed up all night with Stew in the hospital..except for Darryl, of course.
We kept getting in trouble because we kept sticking the hash pipe in his mouth during the long night. But it turned out that missing skin was the only real damage. Some bruised ribs but we were young and overcame that crap.

The next night, Stew was really sore. He limped around like I do now.

His arms were totally covered in bandages. And for the first time ever, Stew played like Charlie Watts of the Stones. Nice and simple.

One of the things that caused friction in the band was Stewart’s ridiculous soloing. He approached every song as if it were a 6 minute drum solo. Drove the band leader nuts.

Especially, when the violinist and guitarist would go to the front of the stage and trade licks for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, Stew was soloing. No downbeat to be found anywhere.

So, I would play quarter notes so the two boys knew where “1” was. I would play 1-2-3-4. Boring, but essential. The fact that I even knew where 1 occurred was a miracle. But I was a good listener.
And after the concert, there would be screaming. Stewart got fired every week. Sonja would quit in solidarity since he was now her boyfriend, and later, husband.

Every damn week this went on.

So when I heard The Police songs and heard how concise and conservative Stew played, I was absolutely amazed. He finally grew up.
That’s me with the fro on the far right. And Stew in the background:

Wrapper: Dominican Sun Grown Habano (Chateau de la Fuente)
Binder: Dominican (Chateau de la Fuente)
Filler: Dominican (Chateau de la Fuente)
Size: 9.25 x 47 “Presidente – A”
Body: Full
Price: $50.00-$75.00

Today we take a look at the Arturo Fuente OpusX Destino al Siglo Presidente A.
It came as a gift in a long, long coffin. Along with it, came a Fuente Fuente OpusX Perfecxion A.
I could find squat information about this special limited edition Destino al Siglo. It doesn’t have the picture of Don Arturo like other al Siglos.

The Fuente web site doesn’t even show this size or make mention of it.
It has that red ribbon footer but now cedar sleeve.

I will go on the assumption that the size is special but not the blend. Although a 2 foot long cigar will certainly have an effect on its flavor.
I do expect to be here all day smoking it.

Both cigars were sealed so no issues of over aging.
The Destino al Siglo marks the 100 year anniversary. The cigar band has 1912-2012 written on it but I believe the blend was released in 2013.
And instead of the Corojo wrapper being used, it has a Habano.

DESCRIPTION:
The cigar looks like one of those long pretzel sticks. Or a breadstick in an Italian restaurant.
In fact, it is rustic looking. Seams are semi-tight. The cigar is lumpy and bumpy. Lots of tiny veins. Indentations.
The wrapper is cinnamon/pecan in color and very smooth to the touch.
The triple cap is flawless.
The cigar is solid with almost no give.
The foot has a soft box press but as it travels towards the cap, it rounds out. I suppose that happened by being jammed into its coffin and not done on purpose.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell barnyard, cinnamon, fruit, cream, spice, and cedar.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell figs, baked apple, cinnamon, spice, sweetness, and cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of apple pie, cinnamon, figs, spice, and cedar.
I read a few reviews and everyone says the exact same thing. Apple pie or baked apple, cinnamon, and figs.
The aromas are so strong it is impossible not to come to the same conclusion.

FIRST THIRD:
For such a huge cigar, the draw is pretty good.
The aromas translate to the favor profile. Lot of sweetness, fruit, cinnamon, black pepper, apple, nuts, and an amazing malt flavor.

The Arturo Fuente OpusX Destino al Siglo Presidente A tastes like a perfectly aged cigar. That richness and depth of character is immense.
As usual, I forgot who sent it to me. So please contact me so I can fix that.

I also received the dual cigar box of the Toast Across America 2014 from the same reader. It contains an OpusX Shark and a J.C. Newman Julius Ceaser. Both square pressed belicosos. But I cannot find any information on them. Were they especially blended for this promotion? Or are they the regular blends from each cigar with just the shape changed and special double bands? My researching skills have faltered dramatically.

My great fear is that I may be reviewing the cigar way too soon. I received the package sealed. Inside, both cigars had cellos on them. So they have only gotten a couple weeks of humidor time. So far? Tastes pretty good.

One thing that confuses me is the colors of the different Destino al Siglo cigar bands. Some are blue. Some are gold, etc. The AF web site is useless in fleshing out the different blends. They are more concerned that you memorize the history of the company than give you any decent info on the different blends.

I’m losing my so called camera skills and this cigar is a real challenge. My apologies. Like one member of a cigar forum said, “I’m glad to see he uses a better phone now because his early photos were horrible.” Still cracks me up. What does a retired old man need with a $200 per month smart phone? Take better photos than my Fuji camera maybe?

Creaminess seeps in. A dash of chocolate and coffee, as well.
Strength is barely medium body.
But flavors are expanding their grasp slowly but surely.

The other companion cigar: Fuente Fuente OpusX Perfecxion A won’t let me steal its main cigar band for photos. Both cigars have the bands melted on to each other and won’t look pretty later once they are removed.

And why does the coffin and the cello say: “Fuente Fuente OpusX?” Everyone reviews them as Arturo Fuente OpusX. I couldn’t find a single review that used the double Fuente reference. And the online stores are fast and loose with their nomenclature for the name as well.

It is incredibly difficult to research anything by Fuente. I received a few OpusX cigars but found it impossible to get the correct research. Hell, I don’t even know if I got this Arturo Fuente OpusX Destino al Siglo Presidente A right?
There is a wonderful marzipan flavor. Not roasted almonds, but straight ahead rich marzipan.
The draw is a little tough. But I don’t dare use my cigar awl on this single cigar. If I crack it, I’m fucked. So I will suck on it like an all-day sucker.

The char line needs a touch up. Shouldn’t need one on a $50 cigar. The other Destino al Siglos are much less expensive and can be had for under $20.

With 2” burned, the flavor profile exudes more definitive flavors: Apple pie, black pepper, cinnamon, figs, chocolate, coffee, cedar, creaminess, marzipan, and a maple bar doughnut.

But these are very subtle flavors…not big and bold. I have to squinch my eyes and smack my lips to get them. As well as taking sips of water to give a little rush to my palate.

I figured that hanging the cigar this big from my mouth while I type would be impossible. It isn’t because the cigar doesn’t feel weighty. Under filled maybe.

I’m having more and more trouble typing. This is so annoying. I had the ability to just blast along at 60-70 wpm a year or so ago. Now it’s more like 15.

I found four sizes of the Arturo Fuente OpusX Destino al Siglo on Neptune Cigars. And all backordered. Prices vary from $23-$27 per stick. Not a single “A” sized cigar.
I’m beginning to think that the pair of cigars was an event cigar or for VIP’s. And that they may never have been offered to the public. The Fuente web site shows the entire size line up of this blend but omits this “A” size.

SECOND THIRD:
Smoke time is 45 minutes.
The maple element now runs neck and neck with the apple pie and cinnamon.
Strength hits medium/full.
Now we’re talking. Some oomph has entered stage left.

Allspice and dried fruit are new flavors.

I picked an after-review rock story that I first published a year ago February. Good story.

I want to take this moment to thank Stogie Boys and Sheryl King for their support and continuing advertising with me after I stop reviewing. These are true mensch’s.

Of course, my readership has hit the start since I said I was quitting. Over 6,000 hits per day. (And no humidor offer. LOL! I must make a helluva an impression.).

I’m finally getting closer to capturing, in focus, the double cigars bands in a photo:

I can say right now, that the Arturo Fuente OpusX Destino al Siglo Presidente A ain’t worth $50 or more. I saw one online store selling them in singles for $75.00.

I smoked a Destino al Siglo that was sent to me. Too much humidor aging. It tasted like dust. As readers were kind enough to send me cigars for review, they mostly came as singles. A couple sent doubles. And I smoked those second cigars only to discover too much aging had robbed them of their vitality.

So, each day, I am scared shitless that the cigar I have chosen to review will have stood up to time.
On the upside, I have a bunch of limited edition cigars to smoke for pleasure. This is why I need another humidor. I don’t want to throw a single cigar away just because it might be over aged. I’m in no position to look a gift horse in the mouth. I’m sure I will be forgotten on February 11 and the care packages will stop.

I’ve got a nice list of readers to thank that I will publish on my last day.

A slight bit of lemon citrus enters. The chocolate and coffee disappear into the mist.
Flavors have flattened out.
Strength is approaching full body.
The malts are missing. Oy. That so much enhances the flavors of any blend.

Toastiness is now present. But, so far, all flavors are very subtle. And I doubt I would even taste them if this cigar was my 4th of the day.

I expected that two weeks might not be enough to do any more than project the blend’s potential. I do believe this is what’s happening.

I watched a 3 hour special on HBO called “The History of the Eagles” the other night. Not a big fan but the documentary was absolutely fascinating. Watch it if you can. Freaks me out that Glenn Frey died about 5 weeks ago in mid-January. He was only 67.
TMZ.com said: “Complications from rheumatoid arthritis, acute ulcerative colitis, and pneumonia.” That doesn’t sit right. Something else caused those things. He was only a year older than me. Gulp.

At last, my best photo:

As I near the halfway point, the flavors begin to be more aggressive.
The apple pie and cinnamon are prominent.
Baking spices, black pepper, chocolate, citrus, coffee, marzipan, sweetness, dried fruit, cedar, maple, and malts take the Arturo Fuente OpusX Destino al Siglo Presidente A to a new level.

Strength hits full body. Oh lord. 5” to go and you know what comes next? Nicotine. Drat.
A Bowie song is playing. I have a short anecdote. I had a friend back in the early 80’s that was a big time music engineer and producer. He told me this great story.

He was producing a 70’s Bowie album. Bowie was overdubbing his vocals on top of the music track. He sat alone in the studio sitting on a tall stool. He had dimmed the lights. The song’s vocals were sincere and must have hit a chord.

At the end of the song, the booth applauded. But Bowie sat there, not moving, and clearly crying.
My friend told a PA to go get Bowie some Kleenex. Moments later, the door to the studio opened and the PA threw a roll of toilet paper at Bowie and hit him in the head.

Everyone in the booth was horrified. Bowie, the gentleman, took it in stride. The PA was fired that next moment.
My buddy went into the studio and hugged Bowie and apologizing profusely. Bowie stood up and wiped his tears and said, “Let’s move on to the next song.”
What a trooper. A mensch.

Halfway point. Smoke time is one hour 20 minutes.

I’ve given it some serious thought. The quack neurologist told me to continue writing. Of course, it wasn’t her name that was on the blog. It was mine.
So, I’ve decided that if I’m sent the right cigar, I might come back to write a couple times per month. All dependent on my health, of course.

I look at some old reviews and I was wittier, funnier, wrote well, was interesting, and had a fucking personality. I feel like I’m being flushed down a big toilet.
Cream is on the TV Classic Rock channel. Can never get enough of that group.

A huge crack forms starting at the foot and traveling to the cigar bands. Oh the horror.

It is too big to glue. But I try anyway. This may be the beginning of the end.
I remove the secondary band and it hasn’t traveled any further. Hopefully, I can burn right past it.
I can think of 210 brands/blends (“The Katman’s Best 210 Boutique Brands/Blends in the $6-$11.00+ Range”) better than the Arturo Fuente OpusX Destino al Siglo Presidente A. Even if it isn’t ready to smoke, the possibilities should be very apparent; especially for an experienced smoker like me.
The crack begins to travel.

Now I keep my humidor at an even keel of 67%. I use an electronic humidifier.
This shouldn’t be happening. I even dry boxed it for 24 hours. This should have helped.
What a disappointment. (It took me 35 seconds to write that last word.)

I don’t think the cigar will last long enough to finish it. Not if the crack continues to disrupt the wrapper. What a catastrophe.

I don’t think I will review its companion OpusX. I shall save it and allow it to rest for a couple of months.
So I will review the two cigars that are in the Toast Across America box: Julius Ceaser box pressed belicoso and the OpusX Shark box pressed belicoso.

I’ve reviewed both in normal sizes but this new size might have quite the impact on the flavors. Fingers crossed.

LAST THIRD:
Smoke time is two hours 5 minutes.
It figures. The flavors are wonderful now. Intense and bold.
The strength is a very strong full body.

All of the flavors from the earlier list: Baked apple, cinnamon, Baking spices, black pepper, chocolate, citrus, coffee, marzipan, sweetness, dried fruit, cedar, maple, and malts are screaming laughter.

Both sides have huge cracks. One side has no chance of survival. The other allows me an opportunity to glue it.
I have no idea why this happened. I keep my review cigars in this one humidor and I haven’t had any trouble compared to what I’m experiencing now.
I can’t blame it on the donor. The box was sealed in plastic. It had never been opened. My only thesis is that the cold may have done it in transport. Snake eyes.
Yet, the other cigars sent to me have had no such troubles from the cold weather.

As a treat, when she was well, my mother would make baked apples. It was served as dessert that night. And the best part was that she made enough to have another one the next day. It was even better the next day. My mother was a helluva cook. My grandmother, on my dad’s side, was a great cook and had a recipe box but all written in Hungarian. My grandfather translated quite a few of them. But they didn’t have amounts. Just the ingredients. So my mom had to guess at first.
I really miss the dishes my mother prepared. Never ate that well since.

She made another Hungarian dessert called Apple pita. I’ve scoured the internet and never found that dish. I may have spelled pita wrong but to no avail.

I’ve never tasted such strong apple pie in a cigar before. And because the flavors are s unique, I’m going to ignore the construction issues and focus on the flavors when I rate the cigar.
Final smoke time is two hours 40 minutes.

RATING: 88

And now for something completely different:
The Curved Air Chronicles…
July, 1974

My oldest and dearest friend, Skip; with his wife…me and my girlfriend, all left for Amsterdam out of LAX. It was a miserable flight. Skip and Debbie left a week early to they could visit her family somewhere in Norway or Sweden or someplace that everyone has blonde hair and blue eyes.

The plan was to meet up in Venice, Italy a week after we got in. April and I spent a few days in Amsterdam in a cheap hotel, where the floor was on a slant, and were forced to listen to disco music from the bar in the hotel all night long. April cried herself to sleep. I just whimpered.

We made our way to Venice using our Eurail passes. It was not a pleasant trip as the trains were not air conditioned and it was hotter than hell in July. Plus, we were crammed into a six seat compartment with 8 other people. We were in a compartment with one big Italian family who took pity on us and fed April, but not me.

Both Skip, and I, started our European tour by hitting Amsterdam first. He brought his guitar and Fender amp. I brought my bass, and an amp, with a custom made speaker box with an 18″ heavy duty bass speaker. I had the bass cab custom made out of 14 layer oak. It was like a tank.

We agreed to leave them in the train station luggage storage and when we met up in Venice, we would go back to Amsterdam to retrieve our stuff. Of course, we didn’t leave our axes in the train station. My bass never left my eyesight.

April and I were strolling through an open market one morning, when right in front of us, were Skip and Debbie.
The first thing out of Skip’s mouth was, “Do you have the amps?”

I blustered out a, “WHAT? NO!! I don’t have the amps. What are you talking about?”

He had apparently wanted to do me a favor, and stopped in Amsterdam to pick up the amps, and bring them to Venice so we wouldn’t have to make the long trip back there from Venice.

Our gear had been stolen. I stomped the ground and yelled profanities. I had that speaker box custom made at a small fortune.
We had agreed to stay at the same hotel ahead of time. So we dropped the girls off and Skip, and I, mounted a train heading for Amsterdam.

I think the train ride was around 18 hours. A million stops on the way.

The train was full and we ended up sleeping in the hallway….it was hot and miserable.
We finally got there and ran to the luggage department. Right in the middle of the floor was our amps. Almost as if on display.

I started screaming at Skip. He just threw his arms into the air and could only sputter, swearing they weren’t there when he was there earlier.

We figured that someone, working at the luggage department, “borrowed” them at the before Skip went to pick them up. I yelled so much at the person in charge, that Skip had to pull me off.

We dragged our equipment to a small café and ordered some food. This was no easy feat as the streets were cobblestone and I was pushing my cab, on wheels, with the heavy amp on top.
An hour later, back on the train for Venice. We watched as the amps were loaded on the train.

During that train ride, one must travel through France and Germany. Skip showed me something while we passed through France: Hashish. He had only a bit, in a small pipe, and he stowed it in his three ring binder… in one of those opaque pencil holders with the zipper. Skip kept a journal and used the binder for doing so.

I gritted my teeth and told him that if we get caught with it, we will spend our days in a German prison. I begged him to toss it but he wouldn’t listen.
And sure enough, as soon as we hit the German border, the compartment door flew open and there were four armed soldiers with machine guns, yelling, “Hashish! Hashish!”

I damn near shit my pants. The compartment was full of young people traveling through Europe for the summer.

For some unknown reason, the head guy pointed his weapon at Skip’s back pack sitting on the racks above the seats and motioned for whoever owned it to get it and open it.
I started flapping my arms.

All four soldiers squeezed themselves into the compartment. Guns were haphazardly aimed at people. It was impossible to squeeze my butt cheeks any tighter than when automatic weapons are being carelessly aimed at you.

The head Nazi, me and Skip, stood almost on top of each other. The soldier pointed at Skip’s binder and motioned for him to remove it. My arms were flapping like a humming bird.

There, in plain view inside his zippered pencil holder, was the hash pipe. I was about to faint.
And then Skip did something that defies logic and physics. He removed the pipe, in full view of the soldier, and put it in his back pocket. All I could think of was what it would be like to be someone’s new bride in prison.

The soldier didn’t see it. It didn’t register. It was a miracle.
How? Thank you baby Jesus!!

And in a flash, the soldiers exited the compartment.

We fell into our seats, covered in sweat. Skip and I stared at each other without talking. We couldn’t speak.

And then my senses returned. I grabbed the pipe from Skip’s back pocket, opened the train window, and threw it out while the train was going 50mph.

Skip screamed at me. I told him I’d buy him another one when we re-visited Amsterdam.
It was the strangest thing I had ever seen. We were redeemed.
So my dear readers, the moral of this story is “Don’t do drugs.”