Warped Corto X50 | Cigar Review

Wrapper: Nicaraguan Corojo ’99
Binder: Nicaraguan Criollo ’98
Filler: Nicaraguan Corojo ’99
Size: 4.5 x 50 “Box Pressed”
Body: Full
Price: $8.65 MSRP

Today we take a look at the new Warped Corto X50.
Several online stores carry them but as this is a popular cigar, I don’t know for how long they will be available. Retailers: Famous Smoke, Small Batch Cigar, Egars.com, JR Cigars, Serious Cigars, and Jack Schwartz.com.

Thanks to a reader for the gift but would prefer to remain anonymous.
Based on the size of the cigar, this should be a quick review.

BACKGROUND:
Debuted at the 2015 IPCPR trade show.
Limited edition. Number of cigars produced undisclosed.
Factory: Tabacos Valle de Jalapa S.A. (TABSA)
All tobacco is 100% AGANORSA.

Courtesy of Cigar-Coop web site:
“Warped Cigars has announced a new annual limited production called the Warped Corto. The Warped Corto is described as “the strongest cigar to date” by the company. The cigar will make its debut at the 2015 IPCPR Trade Show in New Orleans next month.”

From the Warped Cigars web site:
“Corto or Spanish for”short” is the first full bodied blend to be produced by Warped. The series will introduce a new size each year at the IPCPR trade show in July and the previous year’s size will be retired.”

Courtesy of Cigar Aficionado:
“Kyle Gellis describes Corto as the fullest-bodied cigar in the Warped portfolio. The cigar is a Nicaraguan puro, featuring a Nicaraguan Corojo ’99 wrapper and binder with Nicaraguan Criollo ’98 and Corojo ’99 fillers. Corto will debut in just one size, a slightly box-pressed 4 1/2 inches by 50 ring gauge vitola called X50 that will carry a retail price of $8.65 and come in slide-lid cabinets of 25.”

DESCRIPTION:
Like a new born baby, all wrinkly on one stick and smooth as silk on another. I shall pick the most pristine of the sticks to review. Nice tight seams. Lots of veins. A nice box press. Not crisp but not soft either. A mostly flat triple cap. Very solid stick with no soft spots. The wrapper is a caramel, russet brown color. With some oil. And very smooth to the touch.

AROMAS AND COLD DRAW NOTES:
From the shaft, I smell sweetness, spice, cedar, and buttered toast.
From the clipped cap and the foot, I smell cinnamon, spice, butterscotch, cocoa, sweetness, and cedar.
The cold draw presents flavors of cedar, wet wood, spice, and earthy notes.

FIRST HALF:
The draw is good.
Then POW! The pepper bomb strikes. I smoked one the other day and was shocked at how powerful the red and black pepper is. Same goes for today. My eyes are watering and my nasal passages are clearing.

The flavors (Not counting the pepper bomb): Malts, caramel, cocoa, coffee, nuts, raisins, black cherry, creaminess, and cedar. Pretty much what one expects from a Nic puro blend.

I’m lucky that I get some sunlight early in the AM. You can see in the sunlit photo below the inconsistencies in the wrapper not so easily seen in normal house lighting.

Smoke pours from this little guy like a house afire. (Ever been in a house fire? I have. Twice. Not fun. One gains an enormous respect for fire fighters when this happens.).
Strength is medium/full.

The caramel and creaminess go well together. The spiciness has calmed down a bit. I went through half a box of Kleenex on that one. And no. I don’t have Cinemax on.

The spiciness was a bit too much; even for me. I suppose with a few months rest, this beast will be tamed. But it appears that the Big Guy reviewers aren’t wasting time on letting them rest, so it shall be done. Make it so. Warp factor .0001. That’s how fast I can move my swivel desk chair across the living room before running over the cat.

The Warped Corto X50 exhibits new flavors: Maple syrup, fruitiness, meaty, sweet & sour sauce, and tangerine citrus.

So, this baby veers from the usual Nic puro flavor profile. Good for the little guy.

The packing of fillers is spot on. This is an exceptionally slow smoke for such a small cigar. But I have trouble balancing it on my ashtray and I dump it once dashing all hopes for a cool long ash photo.
Construction is pretty good. No char line issues. No touch ups required. Solid, baby, solid Daddy-O.
I take a sip of water and giant, bombastic flavors repel, and attack, against my palate. (No idea what that means. I think it is Alzheimer’s Speak).

Strength is still at medium/full.

But now the complexity really settles in. The balance is outstanding. And the long chewy finish is to die for. (Always wanted to work that phrase into a review. Although, it makes me a little bit of a fagelah to do so…” It is the Yiddish word for bird. In Yiddish slang, it also refers to a gay man). Pronounced: Fay-ga-lah.
I have a great fagelah story mixed with a Jose Feliciano story that I’ve published more than once.

The Warped Corto X50 has developed into a mighty fine cigar blend. Well-rounded and balanced perfectly.
Creaminess takes over the lead. The combo of red and black pepper has receded. The other flavors remain in place.

I’ve had these sticks for a couple weeks or so. Yet, they are fairly complete in blender’s intent.
The ash has a mind of its own and disembarks the mother ship when it feels like it. So far, it hasn’t fallen into my lap and scorched my naughty bits. But to do that, it might need a guide or a GPS signal. Charlotte actually had me implanted with a GPS signal in my penis. This way, if I leave the house and get lost…well…you know. The only way I can disturb the signal is by going to Martha’s Lucky Massage Parlor. I can hide the signal there.

SECOND HALF:
Smoke time is 20 minutes. More than I expected. But I don’t think I will break the 45 minute mark.
The Warped Corto X50 needs a major char line touch up. It is now resting in seclusion. “I ‘vant to be alone dahling.”

I think that has been my best photo above.

Strength remains at medium/full. This is supposed to be a full bodied cigar. Wassup?

Flavors mix up a bit: Maple syrup, creaminess, malt, caramel, chocolate, coffee, nuts, fruitiness, meaty, raisins, cedar, red pepper, sweet & sour sauce, and tangerine citrus.

With 2” to go, we have hit pay dirt. Sweet Spot Extravaganza. I would have loved to review a bigger version. Why Gellis picked such a small size is beyond me. This would be great in a 5.5 x 54 box press. In this tiny size, the cigar experience is too fleeting. I take lots of breaks to prolong the ecstasy. So my smoke time is not accurate.

I’m sure with a few more weeks on the Warped Corto X50, the first half will taste as good as the second half.
The char line is a bit wavy but no corrections needed.
The sweetness, creaminess, maple, and caramel really pull together the whole flavor profile.

I thought this would be a short review but as I look at Word’s word count, I’m already at over 1900 words. Oh wait. Duh. I’ve already added the “after review” story. Silly goose. Or in German: Halten Sie Ausschau du dumme Gans! Nicht Shiessen! Nicht Shiessen! (That last phrase means Don’t Shoot!)

It looks like Small Batch Cigar has plenty of 5 packs (18 for $41 before 10% discount) and 25 count boxes (4 for $195 before 10% discount). That drops the price from $8.65 to $7.38 each. If you find a better price, please post it. Also, tell SBC that the Katman sent you.

On Charlotte’s days off, I get up early and still write my reviews. But I turn off the heat so the cigar smoke doesn’t travel through the vents into the bedroom. I just had to turn it on. It is 58° in here. Yikes.

The Warped Corto X50 is an excellent cigar. Just wish there was more of it. Sure, it isn’t in the double digits, but almost $9 for a 40 minute cigar is too much.
$7.38 is better.

I have 1-1/2” to go and still medium/full. I don’t get it. I tell ya’. For such a little cigar, each puff puts out enough smoke to completely inundate the dining room where I write.
The Warped Corto X50 is chock full of flavors. Nice balance. Great finish.

And it belongs in the $7 category. The Sublimes cigar is $7 and better. The Meridian Sopadre is $7.60 and better. The Espinosa Especial is $8.60 and better. The Matilde Oscura is $8.50 and better. I could keep going.

For me, Warped Cigars is an inconsistent blending machine. I didn’t care for the La Colmena and the El Oso. I’ve reviewed the entire line of Warped Cigars. Some were very, very good. Some were very pleasant. And some were awful. So you never know which way each new blend is going to go.

I don’t recommend paying almost $9 for this cigar. Too little for too much. If you want to smoke the Warped Corto X50, I suggest you go to SBC.

The last 3/4″ becomes very harsh and bitter so I put it down.
Final smoke time is under 40 minutes.

RATING: 88

And now for something completely different:
I’ve told this story before so if you’ve read me for a while, go back to sleep.
1975

Island Studios is in the Jamaican section of London. We had just finished recording our studio album to follow the “Live” album. All new songs. They even pulled a George Harrison and allowed me one song on the album.

It was called: “I Broke My Leg in Yucca Valley, but My Heart Lies in Palm Springs.”
Those were the entire lyrics. It was a jazzy scat type song in which the bass took a Stanley Clarke type lead line.

Neither Darryl, the violinist or Mick the guitarist could figure what to play so they threw their hands in the air and left the recording area. It ended up be a bass solo and drum song. But that’s OK because I fill the sound void with wonderful bass riffs. I had worked on that tune for a month before coming to the studio.

For this album, rhythm tracks were done first and then everything was layered on top. So my job was done in a week. But we still had 4-5 weeks of studio time left. I preferred to hang in the booth than sit at home and watch BBC1. Plus, there was petty cash to always feed us and I learned to love Jamaican food.

Jose Feliciano was touring Europe and had never been to England. England was all abuzz.

Our press agent was a friend of Feliciano and got him to stop by the studio one night. I was pretty excited.
He brought a then unknown percussionist named Paulhino de Costa. He went on to be a big deal in the years to follow.

Feliciano had a big mouth and you couldn’t get a word in edge wise. Man, he could talk.
He listened to our tunes and jumped up and got his assistant to help him into the studio. He pulled out his guitar and started laying down tracks on our tunes. After a while, it got weird. It wasn’t supposed to be the “Curved Air album starring Jose Feliciano.”

During a break, he sat on the couch in the booth. Our chick singer had a vocal coach who was currently a big star in “Jesus Christ Superstar” in London. His name was Derek.
Now Derek was as gay as a $3 bill. No offense but he was a raging queen. He was a really good guy. And he was very funny. He loved being gay and would flaunt it til we couldn’t breathe from laughing; we enjoyed his company.
Derek was there the first night that Feliciano was there.
Feliciano showed up the next night as well.

Before the proceedings began, Jose took the floor. Word had spread and the booth was jammed with people.
He sat on the couch. I sat next to him. And Derek sat on his other side. Feliciano is blind. But you knew that.

You’d think he would take that into consideration when talking about people behind their backs because he lit into Derek.
“Did you hear that queer last night?” And then he went on to imitate him. Everyone in the booth froze in horror.
Derek just sat there and said nothing. Finally, he had enough and leaned into Feliciano’s ear, with his hand on Feliciano’s thigh, and said, “Lissssssten Ssssssweetheart.”

For a moment, we all thought Feliciano got his sight back by the way his eyes opened and his glasses flew off.
There was an uproar of laughter in that booth that night. The whole time, Feliciano tried back pedaling; saying stuff like: “I don’t care about how people live their lives, blah, blah, blah.”
Apparently, Feliciano had no sense of humor when it came to himself.

He stood up, made his excuses and shuffled off into the darkness of the Jamaican section never to be seen again by Curved Air.

BTW- He liked my tune the best and even Paulhino played on it. This really pissed off our ego maniacal band leader. I never got a copy of that song no matter how I begged.

During the official play back and release party at RCA headquarters in London, I remember that when my song was first heard by everyone, they did a double take.
“What the hell is this?”
They hated my song. It was too progressive for a progressive rock band?
I took a lot of crap and they dropped the song from the album. I was not happy.
It was the only truly original song on the album but it was just too much for them.